NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Honestly you are not mentally okay.

1) Oga taking a 12 year old from her parents to take care of your kids is child abuse.


2) for age 12 she should be in secondary school and she must have embrace bully, if she is not brought up well she will definitely do that to your kids.

3) the economy is tough and you still went and brought another mouth to feed when you have not finished feed your own children.


Oga take that girl back to her parents

pocohantas:
Men always sounding helpless when it is child labour and abuse. Your wife put pressure on you to bring your niece. If she puts pressure on you to remain faithful, would you obey that one?

I don't know the obsession some of you Nigerian couples have with child labour. She prayed for you to spoil her, not to turn her into an underaged nanny and dishwasher.

When does she have the time to do her assignments and rest while looking after 3 kids that you and your wife (two adults) couldn't do?

Please return her to her parents before she kills your kids or you guys kill her.

3 kids for a 12yr old.
My dear, that is how wicked we are in Nigeria.
And that's how toxicity, low self esteem, inferiority complex breeds. These child nannies as they grow even with all the wealth surrounding them will still lack psychologically cos their childhood were never balanced.

And Nigerian men don't want accept the fact that the world has moved on from wife taking care of the family a long time ago.

Other countries did that. Worst than Nigeria but they still cling unto it with their last breath thinking its emasculation when removed from them.
Low self esteem. Mark and bane of Nigerian man.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Because you carry blokos, you won't take care of your own kids?
You feel like God, its beneath you to take care of your own children

Your wife was overwhelmed with juggling work and taking care of house front cos you don't help.
Useless man that think washing your kids poo pants is beneath him.
No wonder when the kids grow, they love their mum more.

Una mentality has killed Nigeria.
Nigerian women stay in these toxic Union called marriage cos culture and religion made them stick with toxic men. Also they don't wanna lose their kids and you lot think they are there cos of u because they are enjoying the marriage.

It is house help u need not ur family members.

Your wife was shouting bring ur niece , she no get niece ?

Send her back please. I think she already feels entitled in her uncle's house. Besides, she may be having the notion that she is in your house to enjoy and taken care of, while you are thinking of having her as a semi nanny.

A kid to take care of your own kids? Nigerians are wild, imagine publishing about being a child abuser

Prenonjebose:
Send her back please. I think she already feels entitled in her uncle's house. Besides, she may be having the notion that she is in your house to enjoy and taken care of, while you are thinking of having her as a semi nanny.

Bro how do you want a 12 year old to feel? Like a nanny?

Get a lady not a child, the 12years old girl is too small, I remember my younger sister at that age, if it was my sister, she will kill your children cause she is emotional in balance.

That girl should be with her parents.
Get a girl of 18years and above!

You should be arrested self, a girl of 12 doing slavery job.
Ohh, Nigeria!

She is supposed to break the child's head.

For God sake, she is a child and staying away from her parents, it will affect her.
At my age I know how I feel at time when am away from my parents.

So all you know how to do is to fuxk your wife, but to take care of the children is off point, it is a child that is meant to be taking care of that will be taking care of a child?


That is child abuse and molestation.

ajericho:



Bro how do you want a 12 year old to feel? Like a nanny?

That's why I am advising him to send her back because what they need is a nanny. It's obvious from the OP statement. The man and his wife want someone to assist them with the children, which is actually the work of a nanny. They did not plan to train a 12 year old.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

I am interested in this issue, I am currently writing FIDA on this matter, I swear to God, give me two weeks - I will sponsor this issue my self, you and you wife must be arrested and prosecuted.

When I was 12, we have a maid still washing our cloths and cooking our food.


Don't you have conscience?

12years is now your problem, and we thought Tinubu is our problem.

You and your wife are devil.
I must report this case.

Zeewirld:
..Your niece is a wicked person... Inasmuch as she might be dissatisfied that you brought her to your house without enrolling her in any school...She is a wicked person and might end up harming your family.

You know the issues with men most times is that they are always slow in taking decision most especially when it involves such matters.

Kindly scout for another nanny...

How old is the niece, a girl of 12 is wicked?

You are a slave master and a child abuser

pocohantas:
Men always sounding helpless when it is child labour and abuse. Your wife put pressure on you to bring your niece. If she puts pressure on you to remain faithful, would you obey that one?

I don't know the obsession some of you Nigerian couples have with child labour. She prayed for you to spoil her, not to turn her into an underaged nanny and dishwasher.

When does she have the time to do her assignments and rest while looking after 3 kids that you and your wife (two adults) couldn't do?

Please return her to her parents before she kills your kids or you guys kill her.

This is the best comment, I love you really for this....


The man and wife should be arrested and prosecuted.

Tinubu is not the problem, this type of people in Nigeria is our problem.

When I was 12, they are still washing my cloths and cooking for me.

Like you said, ut is too early to send her back, secondly she's young and also needs love and guidance so you can't exactly expect her to perform like an adult, thirdly there should be an adult who would mold her and teach her how to do these things you know like having a separate basket for children pants and most importantly the 12yr old will do things she sees your wife doing and lastly get a nannycam around your house to observe ( very important).
Good luck with your decision

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

DesChyko:
Your wife is quite patient.

I think your wife is a good woman. My wife sent her own niece staying with us home for much less.

The girl is becoming a devil at the age of 12 just like most ladies of today.

Wickedness is embedded in the DNA of women right from their childhood and you begin to see the traits when they are young.

Was it not a girl of 9 that set a popular supermarket in Abuja ablaze 2 years ago?

They all end up being like Siofra, Candidlady, Sapphire, Jennyclay, Jennyluv, Pocahontas, FutureisFemale, IconicR, MISSCONGENIALITY etc

Send her back before she kills your son. She's like this at 12...by the time she hits 16, she would probably wipe you and your family with poison.

I won’t lie this issue is quite complicated…
But just quietly send her back home than for you to start maltreating her and then injure her
I’ve seen such situations…
This was a 10yr old child also a niece, the girl child was also a niece to this couples.
She misbehaved a lot and the wife of this man was pregnant at the time
She lost it and beat the hubby’s niece a lot
The girl on her own didn’t have proper upbringing plus some spiritual problems
So they just had to let her go
So pls take her back home let her own parents train them before your wife will loose her temper one day and hurt the child badly

If the purpose for her stay/visit is not feasible she can leave.

Moreso, if she can't be of help, she can afford not to be destructive nor be the cause of any form of mishap at home. Whereas she can not make herself useful, just quietly let her leave....

NaijaRealtor:

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Ask yourself just one question.
What if your niece was your eldest child, who are you sending her to!

Op, I'm a man but I am towing the view of your wife on this one. If those things you mentioned up there actually happened, then take your niece back or one day you both wil come back and meet something worse. You understand what I mean.
Good luck

Exodus15v11:
What rubbish. These are more than enough reasons to send her back. Send her back to her parents with the quickness before she endangers your children. From her i-don't-give-a-damn attitude, she doesn't want to be there anyway. Send her back!

You are a very foolish human
For typing all this rubbish

Is she not also endanger with the way op's wife is complaining about the little girl not satisfying all her expectations of been a mature full time housemaid

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Guy wetin be this now,so long story short your love for your so called niece beats the one you have for your kids, just imagine this girl level of wickedness at the age of 12 haba, and you are supporting her, how would your own sister treat your children then, you better be careful because you don't know what that girl was told to do in your home, what if your son died,I think your family would cover up and blame your wife,see no matter what you say to me, that 12 years old girl knows what she's doing,thank God she has gone but know this the confidence and trust your wife and probably your kids find from you is deminishing because I am sure you were probably bringing your wife down in her presence, now she would tell her own side and your wife would start receiving bombastic side eye from her mum and the rest of your family that can't mind their business.

obianoooo:


You are a very foolish human
For typing all this rubbish

Is she not also endanger with the way op's wife is complaining about the little girl not satisfying all her expectations of been a mature full time housemaid

full time what You think ops wife treats that girl as a maid, can't you see that the uncle pampers and admires her,can s maid be watching TV and enjoying like that, if op cannot support his wife with 3 kids he should just send her and I am sure God would help them,a child with this sort of mentality is deadly if she was 10 I would say ignore but at 12 probably in jss2 then she's very much aware of what she is doing. No that girl is capable of injuring a child and threaten them not to talk, that's how children just die in silence with these type of family.

Op please if you can't do all the promise you made to that little girl but rather allow you wife to enslave her as a house help please send her back to her parents

Whats annoying is the fact that you carry you legs went to her parents to beg them allow her live with you with false promises that you want to take care of her because she do pray for you while you known the reason for your request of her

Secondary why on earth did you agree to bring your neice because your wife kept pressuring you to bring her to become house help

I bet you if that girls parent for any reason finds out what is going on,the kind of job you and your wife is allocating to their child trust me your family members will hate your wife which might bring problem to you

NaijaRealtor:
I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

My son, the mistake many people make is to bring an underage child who needs training to take care of other children without first training him/her. You can still retain her if you're ready to train her for at least one year with much love. During that period, carry on with ALL major duties while she watches/learns. Take care of her needs. From the second year, gradually introduce simple duties while she assists you as you run major duties. It looks like she just landed and so much was heaped on her which overwhelmed her tender frame. Does she even go to school?

If you get it right, within few years, your wife will have a wonderful assistant who can even assist you both raise her younger cousins.

Train her first. Enroll her in a good school if you've not done so. Gently teach her how things are done in your house. Correct lovingly when she makes mistakes. As time goes on, you'll all be happy.

Discuss this with your wife and if you both decide that you can't make this initial sacrifice, quietly take her back to her parents.

Peace!

Ohh

Make your sister turn househelp?

Dey play

Pant dey laundry basket and your wife couldn't find out.

You said your sister had husband too.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Don't let her make you loose something huge before you let her go. I know you might be considering retraining her but training a child starts at very early stage. She will never value your lesson till she leaves.

I don't even understand what people are saying. If she was your daughter would you take the nonsense?

So if your 12 year old daughter folds pant with poop and it smells you would condone that behaviour.

If she beats her 6 year old brother with belt head till he has to be treated you will condone such behaviour.

Your 12 year old daughter cannot clean the vomit of the younger one if the parents are not around.

You no go flog the rubbish out of her head?

Reason why I don't advice people to take other people's children in, the nonsense they can't take from their own children they would be expected to condone it.

You can NEVER discipline a child living with you and be right, you will always be at fault.

So a 12 year old doesn't know it's wrong to fold pants with poop, also doesn't know it's wickedness to flog with Iron head of belt.

Send the girl back abeg. If it's your daughter you know how you will handle the MATTER, if you discipline her now you will be a WICKED UNCLE.

SEND HER BACK.


Every body go dey form child right advocate for Nairaland, Radarada.

Get a professional nanny to take care of the children(including the 12 year old child). Expecting a 12 year old child you called your niece to be responsible for your children says a lot about you. Disgusting.

........she "wiped" your kid with a belt & the buckle almost busted kids head.....(1)
........She relaxed in the couch with kid was doing "vomit & clean...vomit & clean........."(2)
........wait for the 3rd occurrence, it might be a life changer.
Miss your neice rather than miss a child.

jaeyking:
Why bother to have kids
If you won't train them yourselves and be there to look after them

New generation parents
This question is for you

If you feel you are too busy to do so
Then get a professional nanny to do such duty and not someone's child who might feel maltreated.

Bottom line
Send your niece back to her mother
That's all

Train your child yourself or get a professional (registered) nanny

This wisdom no go finish for your head. U brought a child to look after your children so your own children can enjoy childhood while you over mature the poor little girl.

NaijaRealtor:
1. Right from when she was about three years old, she would always pray for me to make it so she can come stay with me.

2. Been married for like 7 years and we have 3 kids. My wife was on my neck to bring my niece to come stay with us so she can assist with helping to look after the kids once they all return from school.

3. Because I know how many ladies treat children that aren't theirs, I refused to bring my niece over. So after much pressure from my wife, I approached my sister and her husband and pleaded to allow me train her as she'd always prayed.

4. Weeks after her arrival, my wife started complaining about her attitude and stuff. I refused to yield to my wife's suggestions that I take my niece back. It almost caused quarrel between us.

I felt it was too early to judge her. She's just 12 years old.

Her Attitudes:

A. She would fold and keep pants stained with my 1 year old poop in the laundry basket until it starts bringing out maggots, then we would search the whole house for the source of the foul smell until we find it and throw away affected clothes, disinfect the house and all.

B. She, yesterday wiped my 6 years old son with iron buckle on the belt and his head nearly burst open. He complained of severe headache and we are still treating him.

C. Final straw was, while we were in the office today, my 6 years old started to throw up. He was sick. This girl just laid on the couch and instructed a 6 years old to go fetch the broom, mopping stick and packer to clean the mess.

My son was very weak, but he went to fetch these items and cleaning the vomit. Because he was very sick, he kept on throwing up and cleaning at the same time. All these while, this girl laid there relaxing until my wife came home and washed my son up and cleaned the floor.

When I came back this evening and learnt about the stuff, I quietly asked her why she'd behaved like that and she said it was nothing.

I really don't know whether to let her stay while I try to coach her or take her back to her parents.

I seriously need advice.

Sorry for the long epistle.

Most important thing is that you should first take your son to the clinic/paediatrician for thorough investigation to nip any problems arising from her mishandling in the bud quickly. A young child's head and body are very delicate. I pray that his weakness has nothing to do with elements of torture/beating which he can't talk about. I got scared while reading your post knowing how little things become huge problems as a child grows, especially when not handled at the right time.

I think you should find another solution in terms of looking after your son. Your beloved niece can't cope.

That girls intention of coming is not to be treated as a house help but as your own kid. She is getting the opposite hence her attitude. Not everything you know about her relationship with your wife. If you need a house help from relations, let it come from your wife's side. It doesn't always end well if it is from the man.
If that kids parents are not handy, send her back to her mom and help in her school things and then you and your wife should figure out how to train your kids. Kids of these days are not ready for undefined job they rather stay with their parents and eat stone. She is too young to understand a lot of things. Love conquers a lot of things.