This OP is just an evil man. That good woman doesn’t deserve you.

ADURA123:


You dey M*D ni? did you not read the part I said I am investing on a project she is aware of? Does that not tell you it was our agreement to give her that?

Mod: This project is costing me over 7-8 by end of 2024 where the dividend will start flowing in?

But you are going away with your project and leaving her just 1m in divorce. Except you are sharing the project 50/50 when you divorce, you owe that woman nothing less that 7m or a year worth of your salary.

You two should see therapist and a sex therapist if that is your only concerns

ADURA123:

God bless you, She hates hearing second wife, infact she made me understand that there is no room for another woman in our house, but sha she is just talking, she knows is not in my agenda, if I want I will go for it.

Most people misunderstood my post, I never said she is a bad woman, infact she is the dream of every man, but I cannot spend the last 7yrs talking to one woman on one topic without any significant changes, yes I agree she is afraid of getting pregnant and she is not on any contraceptive. But cheating on this woman will hurt me coz she is a faithful wife. Secondly our intimacy time is usually 2hrs, 1hr talking stories and touching, giving head both of us and finally penetration, she enjoys head well..but having a side chick kai, I don't fancy it...but my plans are intact... she will change with this last straw I want to pull

Why can’t you use condoms, since she can’t use contraceptives

Tzar:
Because she has some excellent wife qualities that you can rarely find in all these modern ladies out there try to resolve the sex issue. Only kids don’t realize lack of sex can destroy a marriage just like lack of money. Please confirm the following before divorcing your wife:
1. Was she circumcised? This means her clit and some sensitive parts of her reproductive organ has been cut off. You need to focus on pre-intimacy and learn about her other arousal spots to make her aroused and wet enough. Also help her arousal with warming sex lubricant, so she doesn’t dry up & sex becomes painful.
2. Is sex painful to her? Both of you should go for STD/STI test. Sometimes these infections make sex unbearably painful for women. If there is no STD/STI, Try to use a nice warming lubricant like durex or fiesta. This will make sex less painful for her.
3. Does she not enjoy your pre-intimacy, sex stamina or post sex game? Please read voraciously about how to please a woman in bed. Spice up your sex with intimacy gadgets, sex card games and role plays. Women have a different sexual appetite and preferences compared to men. Find out what her preferences are. You will be pleasantly surprised if she opens up to you. PLEASE DONT JUDGE HER IF SHE OPENS UP.
4. Did her low libido suddenly start after childbirth? This is very common. Both of you need to see a psychologist and sex therapist to help pull her out of the very common depressive state in women after childbirth. They can even prescribe antidepressants for her.
5. Does she not mind if you take another wife? Discuss this with her. Let her know that the lack of sex is really affecting you badly and you still love her. Make her know you don’t want to cheat on her, however, you will be forced to date or marry another woman if she doesn’t improve on her sex game. Monogamy is a western scam that has solved nothing. Sometimes women up their sex game when they face competition from other women.

Good luck to you!

Thank you sir No 4 yes, it started after child birth, No 5 she dosent support the idea of second wife, she sees them as someone coming to eat where they never sew.

Acidosis:


Mr Project, keep your yeye co r.k until you finish your project. No kill pesin daughter! You want her to work like elephant at day and still do vigilante night work because you don't want to spend ordinary 25% of your finance to run your home.

Nawa for you oh...yeye advice!!!

You're asking for too much from one woman. Take this from someone who has been married for almost 12yrs.

Should be most 1 round, 3 times per week and mostly night. Women like it at night and 1 round per time. After the first round, they dont feel much unlike men.

A second wife or a sidechick would be the solution unless you're able to get the 5% of women with high sexual drive

ADURA123:


4-5 times a week, pls note not " round" i mean on each act we do two round only. lets say early morning and night

FreeIgboho:
OP since your problem is strictly sex, it is not worth breaking up a home over that. Below is your solution. Requires a bit of disciplined saving though. Will also make your wife sit up

Lol... U no well.
Dis shit still dey exist? D wave died like it never came

virginchaser:
I understood that type of freedom you are yearning for. Bros, you may regret it when you get older. Guys tactically separate for a while without divorce by using job mobility as an excuse. Divorce is not the answer and marrying another wife is pretty dangerous with this modern women.

This is selfish.

OP divorce her. I personally want you to grow old alone.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

am not okay with divorce

Marry second wife

Islam sweet
We are allowed to marry second third 4 wife's

ADURA123:


No...this I can swear with anything...she is not just meeting my sexual needs, simple, she complained I have too much sex drive and she is not ready to be killed.

Let me advise you man, if you like take it or leave it. Don't divorce her since she is not cheating on you, never make such mistake else you will regret it later on. Na me the tell you. Try reduce ur sex urge since you can't cheat on her.
And by the way, how many times does she give you sex weekly? You should also let us know about this.
Man! Nothing dey for street, if you flex Wella b4 u got married then you should have known this

Any beautiful home you see out there has something going on inside it that is enough for them to divorce. But that something happening is not enough to make both the wife and husband remain happy in their marriage. Okay, you are not divorcing to remarry, that sex you are looking for you will find oh. And that high wey you dey make every month wey dey give you confidence to destroy a beautiful home, you go spend am oh! But, I just hope you are not going to end up picking one terminal disease that will make your 700k monthly look like chicken change. Don't destroy a beautiful thing going on. Sex should not be enough to destroy that. Just fine tune your urge and don't be selfish.

Just like your friends,

To start hookups.

ADURA123:
Front page pls...I need to hear from people...my head is running crazy right now

stop eating her food. Pretend to keep late nights by sleeping maybe in a hotel. If she asks threaten her that you will impregnate someone else and marry her. Watch her reaction after that.
Imagine denying such a nice man like you sex

I guess he's over working his wife & that is the more reason she's not usually interested in the other room activities

Oga simply tell her you will seek for divorce or marry another since she can't meet your sexual needs.... Simple...
Why will you surprise your wife of ten years with a divorce paper without much ado

Acidosis:
You no try, sir. You earn 700k and all you have to spend on your family with kids is 100k every month, leaving your wife to cook, clean, wash, do nanny work and market runs, and probably still do her regular job, and you expect her to give you hot sex? With which energy, please? The same energy you could have preserved by spending extra 50k on a good cleaner or cook?

Give yourself a heavy knock on the head.

I shock o. When a bag of rice is N50k, an average loaf of bread is N1.2k and gas is about N9k for a 12kg cylinder. And we are not even talking about soup ingredients and protein yet. What about other living expenses like house rent, power, drinking water, toiletries, TV subscription, phone subscriptions, Internet subscriptions, etc.
You give your wife 100k out of a salary of N700k to run the house and you are complaining she is not always in the mood for sex.
I used to give my wife N150k per month only for food and groceries for my household, I still pay for nepa bill, water and house maintenance and it is still not enough. I am not even talking about school fees, books and children's cloths yet.

Guy, if you want your wife to alway be in the mood, treat her well and make life comfortable for her and your children.

If you satisfy her basic needs and meet your manly obligations, and she still gives you a dead bedroom. Call a family meeting and present your grievances. If she is not ready to perform her wifey duties, you too is not prepared to continue to perform husband duties.

JONSYN7154:
Yes everything is wrong.

Why take advice from your father when him and your mother are enjoying their own marriage?

You did not read the story well..
He said the father advice him to devorce instead of cheating cause in this situation once tried, you would want to continue cause he will be enjoying what his wife is denying him from someone else which is adultery

Aren’t you allowed to Marry 2 wives?

ADURA123:


You dey M*D ni? did you not read the part I said I am investing on a project she is aware of? Does that not tell you it was our agreement to give her that?

Mod: This project is costing me over 7-8 by end of 2024 where the dividend will start flowing in?

If you know you have ego and pride stop bringing your problems for public to help you solve

Your attitude is probably what’s killing her sexual libido and she dare not tell you because of your pride and ego

That woman deserves better, treat her nice

I know from personal experience how painful it is as man to be denied sex by your wife. Their excuses are untenable and it doesn't even seems to bother them that they may end up driving their husbands outside.

But, I don't think it will be a wise decision to divorce her. Just consider your children. Imagine the psychology impact it could have on them. You are hurt, I know, it has been going on for years, I know, but then, think twice before you act.

Bro, please do not divorce her. Sex is vital but it should not break such a home.
1. Like many have suggested, reduce her workload. I guess the libido wasn't that poor but the responsibility of taking care of home and your children with also her work is not helping. If you can afford a helping hand for her. There is higher chance things will be better.
2. I think even if the workload is reduced she can never meet up your sex urge but she can be better. One of you now need to shift base. It is either you reduce your sex drive or you help her with herbal or medical approach to increase her libido.
3. If those failed. If she is the type, sit her down and tell her your available options if she failed to adjust.
4. If no changes marry a second wife that is in the same level or even far above your sex drive. E maa pada ro ra yin pa ni. You gerrit?

All the best

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

I DNT get .. u want to divorce her cos she isn't giving sex.. yet u claim u would love to be alone after divorce... dat means the problem that les to the divorce hasn't been addressed!!!

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

Then there's no need to divorce your wife since you can leave without sex.

As a married man for years i suggest your shouldn't go into divorce for the dake of future of your Kids!

Even your own mother can't take good care of your kids like your wife let alone maid or relative.

Communication is the key....
Have schedule for your bedroom activity majorly on pre-intimacy then sex perhaps weekly.

CONSIDER YOUR KIDS FUTURE!

Ok, go ahead

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Why ask Her to live? Just get a second Wife that loves sex and will commit to giving it to you whenever you want.

You allowed it to fester for too long, and you guys got into a rhythm. If someone doesn't enjoy sex it may most likely be the way they where introduced or the way they are having sex. You guys need to switch things up one way or another, but first you need to talk, it's Her duty to satisfy your urges and you hers, but it's never going to be by gra gra.


Meanhwile, you need to increase that monthly allowance to like 300-350k esp in this economy. Abi no be you and your children go still chop the food?

Aside all that have been said so far, its ok to also see a counsellor. By and large pls do not divorce that woman because of her sex drive, its not a crime to have low libido.

Acidosis:


You're the du m.b one, clearly. Your earning is useless if it doesn't reduce the burden and workload in your home.

Stingy criminal.

Oga b calming down!
Are u married? How much is ur pay and how much are u giving ur wife?

Some married men's monthly pay isn't upto 100k, yet their family lives within it...while everyone does his or her responsibilities in their best capacity.

So, because he said he's making 700k, u now see 100k as meagre amount? Are u joking?
Didn't u hear where he said d wife also does little work...? Is d revenue she's generating from there meant for d dustbin?

He's not even expending d balance on frivolities o, d money goes into a project to b enjoyed by d entire family which dey're well aware of. (Even if dey're not aware).
Ibi like say some of una dey reason wit una anus o...

...plz commend d man. He slaves for his family!

Man and woman don't leave together for 365 days in a year.
Take out 3 to 4 days and rest your head in a hotel even less than 10 km away from your home monthly.
Whenever you are back, you will appear new her.
I am 25 years now in Mariage, I stay away sometimes a week claiming business tours and she will yearn for your return.

Personally, i don't like devorce but i do welcome seperation...
My oga, i like your ideal of moving out but don't devorce her because of sex which you can get from random girls which am not advicing you to... What will you tell your children is the reason for devorcing their mother or what will tell your lawyer is the reason for wantin to devorce your wife?
My man, just leave the house for them and if she is truely not cheating she will definately crave for it...

heykims:

This is a nonsense way of reasoning, so your dad controls your way of thinking.
This is why Islam is wonderful, go get a second wife bro. It doesn't make sense substituting a wife, one goes, another comes just because of desire for sex. Polygamy is the way out except your wife objects and decides to leave on her own accord.

Have you seen where he said he is a Muslim?

Acidosis:
You no try, sir. You earn 700k and all you have to spend on your family with kids is 100k every month, leaving your wife to cook, clean, wash, do nanny work and market runs, and probably still do her regular job, and you expect her to give you hot sex? With which energy, please? The same energy you could have preserved by spending extra 50k on a good cleaner or cook?

Give yourself a heavy knock on the head.

I would have agreed to what you said only to see mama nkechi frying akara is having 6 kids and still counting. She still the kpansh wella.