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Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids (26549 Views)

Why Are some Men Neglected In Marriage By Their Wives After Having Kids? / As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids / Why Do Men Lose Interest In Their Wives After Few Years In Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Oboto700(m): 1:48pm On Sep 27, 2023
Men should know it the same hole and warmth with the kpeskus outside
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Terco90: 1:48pm On Sep 27, 2023
MySexyMoni:
He's going to take care of both the child and the mother, so he thinking much ln how to handle that. . basically his responsibilities have increased to the extreme and he dare not fail.
really
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Elidrisy20: 1:50pm On Sep 27, 2023
Na poverty de cause am

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Oracleee: 1:51pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?

A man is naturally termed a provider, an average man spends less time with kids and family as he his out trying to provide for their needs. Most women spends more time around the children naturally bonding more and having greater affection for the kids than hubby. Once a man realises the attention ain't there again like it use to, natural instinct makes him withdraw and build a wall around himself making the marriage more like a contract of him providing and expecting nothing in return.


I once asked my mum one day what dad loves doing for fun and she couldn't mention nothing substantial she was just beating round the bush. I also asked my Dad what he loves doing for fun, he just smiled and said no one cares about that anymore. It made me shed tears

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by SmartPolician: 1:51pm On Sep 27, 2023
Nwodosis:
Wives love and care more for the kids as a result the men feel less loved resulting in attitudinal changes toward their wives!

This is the same reason why no reasonable man should marry a single mom.

Women, by design, transfer the love they have for their husbands to their children immediately they give birth.

If your wife cares for your children more than you, it's understandable. After all, they are just children who need love and care. Also, they are yours too.

But, for someone else's child? No, it's inexcusable to share my wife's love, care and attention with a stepson!

13 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Exceed15: 1:52pm On Sep 27, 2023
It is because Most Nigerian WOMEN change towards their husbands after having children They feel their feet is now solid in the house. They start misbehaving so men have no choice than to change too. Shikena!

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by highchief1: 1:55pm On Sep 27, 2023
talented321:
The man didn't love her from the beginning. Just imagine calling a woman who is raising ur kids condemn property because of an over used kpekus..
Sometimes i just pity some women, insulting you wife in the public because of a mere puna..
na mad man.
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by LOVEGINO(m): 1:56pm On Sep 27, 2023
If u don marry u go know hwfa?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by IPG25(m): 1:57pm On Sep 27, 2023
Interesting
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by DipsonGiggs: 1:57pm On Sep 27, 2023
I will suggest that only married men should talk henceforth on this topic. Experience they say is the best teacher.

9 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Honestfrend: 1:59pm On Sep 27, 2023
90% of women after birth don't give their husband attention so what do u expect?

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Eriokanmi: 2:00pm On Sep 27, 2023
bukatyne:
The fundamental question is 'was there love before the kids came'? 'Why did they get married in the first place?' etc.

Then you would have your answer.
This question should be directed at the wives because 99% of the time, they focus their attention more on their kids once they start having children and their husbands are less cared for, as if the only thing women need in marriage is the children. Its not as if the man doesn't care for the family as he still shoulders his responsibilities. He feels less cared for, in spite of all these .

You see that bond coming back from the wife the moment children are growing up and starting their own lives. This time, you see women always complaining of loneliness, that the husband doesn't love again, he doesn't give her attention again, etc. Whereas, the man has adjusted to his lonely life since the days wife began to have children, and to now adjust becomes something else and the women always complain the most.

Once the children begin building a family , the wife travels again to meet them and abandons the husband grin. By the time grand children begin growing, she comes back and begins to complain of loneliness once again. God created us men to withstand and endure any situation...Good, bad or ugly. Its women who always complain.

26 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Cowbell521: 2:00pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?
Are you playing? Wise Men prefer to focus on their children and leave you parasites alone
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Emma1Oj(m): 2:02pm On Sep 27, 2023
Nwodosis:
Wives love and care more for the kids as a result the men feel less loved resulting in attitudinal changes toward their wives!
this small tin u talk nai u run blow big grammar. Con mak us feel like say na night sch we go.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by adolfHitler1934: 2:02pm On Sep 27, 2023
It is the other way round instead. The woman begins to care less about the man and takes her love to the kids. She begins to dress and behave in a manner that will put the man off.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Electrokco: 2:04pm On Sep 27, 2023
Because politicians no de fulfil campaign promises after they won elections

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by smasher1(m): 2:04pm On Sep 27, 2023
theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

It's both spouse and not a country issue. The love is now shared somewhat with the kids. And so the love seems divided because the kids have taken their own share. But both spouse should still work on their love life.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by FireUpNow(m): 2:05pm On Sep 27, 2023
It's a 2 way traffic
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Eecvahq(m): 2:05pm On Sep 27, 2023
Good day friends
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by NastiLord: 2:06pm On Sep 27, 2023
I only stopped caring for my wife after i found a conversation she had with a male friend on Facebook. The guy asked her if she's married and she said no sad

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by smasher1(m): 2:07pm On Sep 27, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Everyone is just beating about the bush even though the reason is obvious.

Once a woman starts having kids, she loses her attractiveness as a result of all the body changes that come with child birth. This puts the man off or gradually makes him lose interest in her especially when he still sees young girls with perky breasts, plumper and firmer bodies out there. This is the whole truth.

A married man used to disturb me some time ago and I'll always shun him. One day he saw one small fine girl that came around and told me to him talk to the girl and I asked him what of your wife and he said " that one na condemn property now" .. chai!!! Laugh wan finish me that day. This is a man with 5 kids o.


Not true. Your example only applies to adulterous fathers. The love becomes divided once there are kids.
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Emma1Oj(m): 2:08pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?
man is the head of the house. Woman is owner of the house. Parkage and content. Man is the parkage that owns the physical and it responsibilities. Woman is the content that own it inner cares and responsibilities and report to the parkage.

Hope you got the logic?
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Badb0y4lyf(m): 2:08pm On Sep 27, 2023
They are several factors but essentially it’s human factor to get tired of things after a while.also after child birth women tends to shift there care and attention to the kids the husband also has more responsibility on his part it’s just a combination of factors and realities

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by frankson1(m): 2:08pm On Sep 27, 2023
MySexyMoni:
He's going to take care of both the child and the mother, so he thinking much ln how to handle that. . basically his responsibilities have increased to the extreme and he dare not fail.



If you're a lady then I must confess that I love your point of view.

I also understand that you're not referring to all the men.

A man with 3-4 kids, his family and maybe some friends calling him from time to time for assistance will rarely have time for himself because he'd always be thinking and planning on how to settle everyone.

Even when faced with all these, I still think a responsible married man should create time for his wife and I don't expect it to be everyday.
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by TheGift: 2:08pm On Sep 27, 2023
theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?
now they are not just husband and wife, they have also become father and mother. And the tendency is for them to get caught up in this new identities of parenting that they forget lose the essence of husband and wifing. Those identities need to be kept expressing. They need to learn to go back to boy friending and girl friending.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by NastiLord: 2:10pm On Sep 27, 2023
I only stopped caring for my wife after i found a conversation she had with a male friend on Facebook. The guy asked her if she's married and she said no

6 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Guyman01: 2:11pm On Sep 27, 2023
Haven't you read here the sexual frustrations of so many men, those who don't want to cheat are considering divorce because their wives no longer want regular sex, if you are not meeting up financially for them and your children you are almost ostracised from your home, you become a resident and not a husband per se.
Some women become wicked to their husbands and harden their hearts and become unforgiving to their husbands for any little misdemeanor because they can fall back to the affection of their children while telling their children that their father is an IRRESPONSIBLE man.

The man sleeps daily with accumulated Konji, even his food is tossed to him with disrespect and he can't recall the last time his wife asked him what he would love to eat for lunch or dinner.
Many husbands are silently passing through husband abuse, that's why anytime I have money to spare I call out my married friends for a good time out in a quality restaurant, drinks with barbecue, swimming for those that like swimming and even ice cream 🍦

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Ashirioluwa: 2:11pm On Sep 27, 2023
theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

Because the attitudes of most Nigerian women change after they tie the knot, they completely transform into a different person, and they start being cruel to their husband and his family.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by MySexyMoni(f): 2:12pm On Sep 27, 2023
frankson1:




If you're a lady then I must confess that I love your point of view.

I also understand that you're not referring to all the men.

A man with 3-4 kids, his family and maybe some friends calling him from time to time for assistance will rarely have time for himself because he'd always be thinking and planning on how to settle everyone.

Even when faced with all these, I still think a responsible married man should create time for his wife and I don't expect it to be everyday.

He's demonstrating his love in a different way and caring for his family is the point but most of my genders won't understand that...

They want the love they see in romantic movies, everybody is diff anyways.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Jagabanofafrica: 2:12pm On Sep 27, 2023
Responsibilities made most men to change, especially when the wife is not supportive

1 Like

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