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Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Why Are some Men Neglected In Marriage By Their Wives After Having Kids? / As A Woman I Have Decided I'm Never Getting Married Or Having Kids / Why Do Men Lose Interest In Their Wives After Few Years In Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Blitzking: 2:44pm On Sep 27, 2023
It's not easy living in the same house with another person all the rest of your lives before marriage u come and go..u fight and u go home while at home u heal and then u come again u cook we eat watch movies go for outing and then u go home..but now your home is my home..except I vex you and you pick the duvet and move to another room..if you like no give me food...I go just rent/buy 2 bed apartment find one banny wey sabi..but I try give u small benefit of doubt.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Emma1Oj(m): 2:45pm On Sep 27, 2023
Iamzik:


You still believe this lie in 2023? Smh
what is the lie there,? Analyze
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Cromagnon: 2:45pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?
What stops women from being breadwinners

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by InvertedHammer: 2:45pm On Sep 27, 2023
bukatyne:
The fundamental question is 'was there love before the kids came'? 'Why did they get married in the first place?' etc.

Then you would have your answer.
/

Those still mixing love and marriage are delusional. Find someone you like and respect, then approach him/her with some sense of responsibility. Both parties work together to build a lasting marriage. Love is a feeling and feelings do change. If you marry because of love, the outcome is divorce because the older you get, your priorities and life choices change. Then you realize that love is a fantasy good in movies. Oyibo people have tried love and it is not working.

/

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by josite: 2:46pm On Sep 27, 2023
Lots of Nigeria wives becomes increasingly unpleasant largely to not having the dream life they thought marriage will give them .they found a way to take it out on the man and the man found a way to find joy outside the wife
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by agabaI23(m): 2:50pm On Sep 27, 2023
Omuuvwie:
It's see finish, no matter the bond between the two of you at one point or the other you get tired of her.
Love does not get tired. It is a decision

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Father4all: 2:53pm On Sep 27, 2023
Brother, the truth is that, after childbirth, women become Useless
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by agabaI23(m): 2:54pm On Sep 27, 2023
cococandy:
The fact that you found it so funny
Very disrespectful. How big is his tommy? Was he still looking like he was before he got married?
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by maasoap(m): 2:56pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:

What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?

And the love they once had for each other still becomes NIL. Both of them now end up transferring their love to the kids. Still not good.
I have seen this in a TV series titled "the good doctor". Their marriage ended up in divorce despite both of them admitting to love their son. It has become a loveless marriage

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:57pm On Sep 27, 2023
Cromagnon:

What stops women from being breadwinners


Women dont work and care for the kids? Are you living in a cave?

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by MVLOX(m): 2:57pm On Sep 27, 2023
I would respond to this ..... shortly
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by dayssolalee(m): 2:58pm On Sep 27, 2023
Marriage is not just about love, its an institution that comes with huge responsibility. Wife should take care of herself and make sure to go for knowledge on how to always stay sharp.... meanwhile, if you want to post your business on a business directory and get good traffic of customers from search engines like Google, go to https://Shoplife.com.ng/directory

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Fountainofyouth(f): 2:58pm On Sep 27, 2023
fayomim:


It's very important to care for your kids. However, leaving your spouse behind and not caring for him/her is a disaster in the making

If you are interested to know, ask me why

Who left who? Leaving behind where? How does caring for the kids automatically means not caring for the spouse?

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Faposky95: 3:00pm On Sep 27, 2023
The boobies are now Bobo's.....!!!
Kaji kwo....?!

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by KIDfurniture(m): 3:02pm On Sep 27, 2023
Get another wife or have a hard working mistress by the side









theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Amumaigwe: 3:03pm On Sep 27, 2023
theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

Their perceived change is only a reaction to the new behaviours or actions most wives start displaying after giving birth usually as a result of the fake arrival feeling of "he now does not have any other choice than putting up with me come-what-may because of his kids". But they forget that actions and reactions are equal and opposite.
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by anungangampu: 3:04pm On Sep 27, 2023
From what I observed, most men doesn't become normal with their wives after months of pregnancy where the woman can't have sex or keep up with the husband and also after that when their sex lives won't be thesame after childbirth.
Most women stop being romantic once they are pregnant and assume their romance to return back once they are true. Most marriages never return to normal after 9 months

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Cromagnon: 3:04pm On Sep 27, 2023
talented321:
The man didn't love her from the beginning. Just imagine calling a woman who is raising ur kids condemn property because of an over used kpekus..
Sometimes i just pity some women, insulting you wife in the public because of a mere puna..
Puny is not mere
If it were
Men will not fall to get it
Prick is mere not puny
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Silentgroper(m): 3:08pm On Sep 27, 2023
MySexyMoni:
He's going to take care of both the child and the mother, so he thinking much ln how to handle that. . basically his responsibilities have increased to the extreme and he dare not fail.
A man is no superhuman.. He cant do it alone.. He needs support...

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Fountainofyouth(f): 3:11pm On Sep 27, 2023
DjAduba:

Madam leave matter.... Who told u that we dont care for the kids? The truth is SEE FINISH that causes it all... women dont like to be held accountable so they twist the matter to avoid blames... We know ur games...Yes men may appear not having quality family time because we are foccused on the hustle to meet up with bills. Some Women at the other hand having known that we have to prepare the family & kids for greatness tend to concentrate on them (With claims of loving them) to manipulate/brain wash the kids to see her as their guardian Angel and the father a careless man. An investment they hope to havest in the future... their actiins are intentional and calculative..


What stops some men in your example from caring for their kids in order to manipulate/brainwash the kids to see him as their guardian angel and the mother a careless woman for future investment and harvest? Women work and take care of the kids, what stops you men from multitasking by being present in the life of your kids? There are men around that do this effortlessly and without complaint, do they have two heads? there are kids that prefer their father to their mother, the other set that complain and prefer to blame women, why can't they ask these men how they do it?

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Amumaigwe: 3:11pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?

This one is always of competition mode. A woman is bothered about lost affection from husbands after their wives conclude having babies. Instead of staying back and taking notes from men who can relate with that kind of situation, you are now viewing it as them vs us. Since you know the way out, no need for contribution from readers. Just tell the OP to also get her husband interested in kids so that he will be as distracted as she is from the marriage, even though she hates it.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Timoleon(m): 3:16pm On Sep 27, 2023
Fountainofyouth:



What stops men from caring for the kids as much as their wives so that they will not feel left out or less loved?
Loving is giving. To love the kids more is to give more of yourself. It does not fill the void of your need to receive which is what many feel when they feel ‘less loved”. Your relationship with your children is a different relationship ti the one you have with your wife.
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Fountainofyouth(f): 3:16pm On Sep 27, 2023
jeromestarks:

So after paying bride price, feeding money, school fees, house maintenance fee, wife maintainace fee, you still want the husband to provide care?

It's like you're born stupid.


Your breeders are born stupid, they are also stupid for making you germinate instead of spitting you out.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by ekpaben(m): 3:17pm On Sep 27, 2023
Most times is not kid. My marriage is three months and I'm fed up already. Her character is completely opposite of her before we got married.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by DaTruths: 3:20pm On Sep 27, 2023
Nazgul:

Exactly!

Most people in this category the op is referring to get married because they feel they're of age and therefore should be married, and not because they have found true love.

A vast number of them have zero romantic connection with their spouses. The marriage is just for having sex breeding kids. This is why they cheat without any form of conscience cos they see their marriage as a prison, and want some breathing space.

I'll say this and say it again and again. No spouse would get fed up and cheat on a partner he/she geninuely loves and respects.

People views cheating in different spectrum.

What if they tell you that eating any food that wasn't prepared by your wife would be considered as cheating on your wife, would you stop eating outside till you die?

That's how cheating is for some people
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by hkidola00(m): 3:20pm On Sep 27, 2023
Authoreety:
Lol

Una too dey rush... Wait till u get married, then you will understand better..

Do you even know that women are highest subscribers of denying their husbands their coochies... Single girls have sex with their boyfriends far more than married women and their husbands... Guess you all know what this could cause... Imagine denying ur husband sex on a steady basis..

Oh... U don't even know...
haba,you sure/
Who no go no know
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by chukwuoke(m): 3:22pm On Sep 27, 2023
Women most you turn to disrespect your husband,you don't make an effort contributing in the family. You become so reckless in talking.
Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by HRHQueenPhil(f): 3:23pm On Sep 27, 2023
The two of them change..not just the men
Marriage just like ur work shld be intentional
If you are not intentional Abt keeping your house clean, rats and rodents will come and reside..be intentional Abt your marriage so no amount of children will kill d love and sweetness of it

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by 10thTenthMan: 3:23pm On Sep 27, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Everyone is just beating about the bush even though the reason is obvious.

Once a woman starts having kids, she loses her attractiveness as a result of all the body changes that come with child birth. This puts the man off or gradually makes him lose interest in her especially when he still sees young girls with perky breasts, plumper and firmer bodies out there. This is the whole truth.

A married man used to disturb me some time ago and I'll always shun him. One day he saw one small fine girl that came around and told me to him talk to the girl and I asked him what of your wife and he said " that one na condemn property now" .. chai!!! Laugh wan finish me that day. This is a man with 5 kids o.


Thank you. I really don’t know why they are beating about the bush. And being afraid to express what their MALE instincts transmits to them.

It is the same reason and female instincts that make many women go after 6 and 9 packs men after their husbands develop pot bellies at their 40s. Many of them,they not only long for but go after and get enticed by these same men. They create excuses and escape from home with lies that they are going to the gym to keep fit. Or they are going to meet a swimming instructor. Bunch of hypocrites!

While it isn’t encouraged to loose interest in your woman after she puts to bed, but why beat about the bush on the matter. Why lie? What is the purpose of lying and avoiding the real reasons? Worst case will be online insults from ladies here and some men, which frankly mean nothing. Absolutely no existential importance or value.

MEN DO NOT FANCY THIER WIVES AFTER THEY PUT TO BED BECAUSE:

-Most women loose every form of physical attractiveness. In fact many of them become horrible looking, physically.

- Many add weight afterwards and become physically lazy. They aren’t able to tend the home or tend to the man.

- Many won’t even take proper care of themselves. Some won’t bathe till evening when the man comes from work. To them they have achieved the ultimate. “I don marry and born na, Wetin remain again”? Mentality. They are just there like bread. Failing to dress up and impress the men. Tying wrapper from morning to night over their boobs. So THE SAME WAY YOU DONT LIKE YOUR HUSBANDS POT BELLY BUT NEED HIS MONEY OR PRESENCE AND OTHER BENEFITS OF BEING WITH A MALE PARTNER IS THE SAME WAY WE DONT WANT YOUR SAGGED BOOBS AND LOVE HANDLES, BUT WE NEED YOU TO BE AT HOME AND TAKE CARE OF OUR OFFSPRING.

- Many pay attention to the baby and ignore the man totally. This is not a bad thing. The child needs care. But men see it as neglect. Someone said the man should also love the child. Many men do. Loving a child doesn’t stop a man needing love from the woman.

- Many men are turned off by breastfeeding mothers. That whole thing where breast milk leaks from their boobs and they have to pad their boobs, many men hate. Some still bleed from their private parts weeks after birth and some months. Many men are turned off by this. In fact some men are turned off by pregnant women. Men don’t like and pay attention to what they aren’t attracted to.

In short many men see their wives as old and used. It doesn’t make it right. But that is how some men feel. Instinctively. If you don’t feel that way, good for you. But these are real feelings that many men feel.

So what should men do?

Intelligence SHOULD and MUST overcome instinct.

Intelligence should tell you that:

-She is your wife. You are a family. Marriage is about Duty and Responsibilities.NOT THE FAIRY TALE NONSENSE PF ASHOEBI GIRLS DANCING. Those are weddings. Marriage is real duty and responsibilities. It is inconvenience. It is your duty to love your wife. Common sense should tell you that even without childbirth, she will age. So love her in this trying times where her whole system has been turned inside out just to bear you a child.

- It isn’t her fault that her body is falling apart by various degrees depending on the woman’s genetic make up and level of physical fitness. Child birth could have caused it.

-The baby is both yours. Get down to child rearing. For now focus on catering for your wife and your child and leave your selfish sexual desires alone. Kiss her and help her to reignite the intimacy. Don’t go forcing sex on her.

-She just put to bed and probably facing post partum depression. Please allow her rest and stop asking for Pounded Yam and Fresh Eguisi soup everyday. Allow the woman rest a bit. Stop that nonsense of I don’t eat old soup. Which of una wey una Mama been Dey cook new soup for every night? Let us stop this unrealistic rubbish and stress we pass women through. Stop the forming and stop making life difficult for the mother who is taking care of a child.

-She also may not feel like having sex with you. Look she just put to bed. Doctors saw her bum bum. She is trying to wrap all that around her head, coupled with raising a child that can only communicate distress by Crying. How many fathers know that evolution wise, the cry of infants is in a very disturbing pitch such that people have no choice but to attend to the infant? It stresses everyone especially the Mother.

-She is weak from child rearing, waking up every 2-4 hours to breastfeed depending on age of the child.

-She is physically weaker due to the general stress from child birth.

-She is under pressure to perform as a mother.

-If she intentionally lets herself go, then encourage her to get back to shape. You are to live through the challenges of life together. Unless where your Life is threatened, health threatened or Infidelity, you are supposed to stick together.

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Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by twilliamx(m): 3:24pm On Sep 27, 2023
Have been married since 2010...nothing has changed about me, still love my wife and my kids.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Fountainofyouth(f): 3:26pm On Sep 27, 2023
Emma1Oj:
man is the head of the house. Woman is owner of the house. Parkage and content. Man is the parkage that owns the physical and it responsibilities. Woman is the content that own it inner cares and responsibilities and report to the parkage.

Hope you got the logic?


It's the daftness for me, in your mind, you think you have made sense

So caring for the kids is a woman's job, later you below par boys will be yapping spittle about complaining that there are countless mothers day in a year, asking why children prefer their mothers, when the results of your negligence becomes glaring, you'd go on and conclude that women manipulate kids against fathers, your comment just proves the senselessness and thoughtlessness of most of you, no logic at all.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Most Nigerian Men Change Towards Their Wives After Having Kids by Gentew(m): 3:26pm On Sep 27, 2023
theInfinity:
Why actually are the reasons why men change towards their wives after having kids. Could it be that the unwritten contract between them and their wives has come to an end after she has put to birth or what exactly. At that moment, no more sweet name calling, no more petting. They now see their wives as rivals at home. What is the cause?

1. Most wives stopped impressing their husbands after birth.

2. Most wives now see alternatives to their husbands in the child/Children.

Conclusively, Most wives stopped giving attention to details.

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