₦airaland Forum

dominique:
The kind of whiny cry babies we have as men today ehn! Tufia! Marry a poor girl, he'll come and whine that she and her family wants to kill him with billings. Oya marry a rich girl, he will come and whine that her family is taking over his responsibility and making him feel less than a man. What exactly do you men want?

Now oga op, you gave your wife 3k to cook food for yourself, herself and 2 kids as per magician wey she be. What kind of food is 3k supposed to cook? Should she starve because she's married to you when she knows she has a financially comfortable family that can bail her out? Would you have preferred if she had gone to her ex, or one toaster eyeing her on the streets for support? You should be happy you're married to a woman from a comfortable supportive family.

This poster has never been toasted by a guy before. He has no boyfriend, either ex or present. she survives on dildos, she is angry, bitter, depressed, and suicidal, that is why she is spewing this rubbish

😂 😆 😂 😆

GboyegaD:
Tell her how her actions make you feel and ask her what she thinks of a home. This will help you know how you can let her know the limits you can take and if you don't mind, call her folks and let them know you do not appreciate their interference.

One quick question, did you notice this trait while you were dating?

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

this on she’s still a baby
How is she training her kids

If her family is a better off, work with them !!
Don’t allow that stupid pride get in the way !!
You’ll destroy your family
Once you start being happy and then call the family and thank them for all their support. This will no longer be ans issue
Finally double whatever you’re doing.

WantsandMore:
This is why Islam forbids a man to marry a woman whose tasted luxury into penury or manage first. This is the results. The ancient were the best behavioral scientists, they encoded some of its observations into religious text way before man invented field of science. A way out; Step up or chill until you, just seem unbothered meanwhile, work your ass off to balance your feelings of not been man enough...

What do you mean? What are the four things the Prophet told us to look out for in a woman before marriage?

Kenturkey048:
God... How did we get here??

How did Men become so weak that they can't even control their own home... God.. Why are men of today so weak??....

OP.. Send her back home to be with her brothers until she learns contentment because from the look of things you can't control your marriage.

Other than giving a stern warning, you are begging her to stop. If you don't stamp your feet, she will keep taking you for a ride... But come to think of it, did you court before marriage??

Like you saw all these red flags and went ahead to marry her...

Proverty mindset.. they will welcome her and take care of her.. Rich people no send you.

Oga carry yr load ooo.
U knew she was pampered when u were dating n now u complaining..
If e tire u.... leave oo.
Obviously the signs were there...but u thought u were gonna be richer than her family put together....
As long as they don't dictate what kind of food u eat...
U just Have to deal with this..
U may tell her brothers to just inform u when they give her money...
Maybe that would show they respect your home.
But to be honest... u no marry ur class ooo..u went overboard..
May God help u

tonicyril:


Alaye is feeling oppressed in his semi-rented house

Baba na ur Cross be that, everything with advantages also comes with its own disadvantages sir..

Baba u re just a mere sperms donor but do not reason am, na so destiny write ur story...

Everybody get wetin hin dey battle with, me sef get my own..

BUT THE DAY U STOP READING MEANING TO ALL THESE THINGS AND INSTEAD TAKE CARE OF UR SELF VERY WELL AND ALSO HAVE A REASONABLE SAVINGS FOR UR FUTURE INSTEAD OF BUYING AN EXPENSIVE GIFT THAT WOULD STILL NOT BE APPRECIATED, THAT IS THE DAY U LIBERATE URSEF FROM MENTALLY IMPOSED SLAVERY SIR

OP pls, take this noble advice and save ur stress

Kobojunkie:
The Nigerian master-slave configuration for marriage is not "normal" at all it is simply what the majority are raised to believe works, against all commonsense mind you.

Please, can you put more light to your submission

WantsandMore:
You can disagree without been salty, moreover my opinion is a reflection of the facts that human behavior has a repetitive pattern giving that the Quran was written some 700 years ago, you can not throw the baby away with the bathing water, while we take what's wise of the patriarchs we seek to improve on what we disagree on...Most modern behavioral pattern has a historical imprints

Same quran that says there needs to be 4 witnesess in a case of rape. Which rapist will do it in front of witnesses?


Fvck islam

ibinaboonline:
■ I'm disappointed by this statement. So, poor people should have no self respect?
■ You may say ego and self respect are two different things, then I'll remind you that OP's feeling isn't necessarily ego. In fact, it isn't. If someone saw your unclothedness, your feeling of embarrassment isn't ego. Or, is it?

Having an ego has nothing to do with respect. If OP had respected himself from the start, he would not have gotten himself into this situation expecting it all to go his way --- for him in his poverty to sit as lord and master over a wife from a rich family. Op let his ego lead him and now he is letting the same ego attempt to ruin his marriage.

2. No, it isn't! Shame is not necessarily a product of an ego. Anger maybe, but not shame. .

You knew her before marriage and you knew the family as well so why are you complaining now like it's something she developed with you? Allow her family spoil her since you can't. After all she's not begging from her male friends or outsiders. It's still within the family. You have always been taken for granted but you swallowed it all because of the soft landing you have been receiving from her family. Now you want to complain Oga enjoy the rich family and enjoy also being taken for granted

WantsandMore:
You can disagree without been salty, moreover my opinion is a reflection of the facts that human behavior has a repetitive pattern giving that the Quran was written some 700 years ago, you can not throw the baby away with the bathing water, while we take what's wise of the patriarchs we seek to improve on what we disagree on...Most modern behavioral pattern has a historical imprints

Islam still remains an epic fraud and that's not bn salty.

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

Oga go and rest , you should be happy your wife has rich brothers and sisters who are helping her in need , they are planning to open business for her that's good it's not a sin to have rich in-laws , I know a family that it was through their rich in-laws the last born girl married that their first and only son of that girl family was able to marry , set him up for business had it been the last born girl in that family didn't marry a rich in-law which knows if that guy would have marry by now, so allow ur wife to get help from her rich brothers and sisters pending when you too finally upgrade your hustle, I have even seen a husband that was well established by his rich in-laws and he is doing great everything boils down to love and understanding, it's a small world mehn why would your wife suffer when he has rich brothers and sisters like that saying goes my father cannot be in paradise and am suffering, even you self won't allow ur own sister to suffer because of money when you know you are rich , you will establish her in business let her use it to cater for her family with her husband it's not a bad thing

You married someone who you claim is from a rich. Family and you expect her to reason with you? Lol you no see your level marry?



Better humble yourself maybe the family fit help you. The goal for us all at the end of the day is to escape poverty and lack

1Sharon:
■ Same quran that says there needs to be 4 witnesess in a case of rape. Which rapist will do it in front of witnesses?


Fvck islam

For real?

Men and thier empty pride/ego.
If her family chooses to give her a mansion why is that k!lling you?

Bad head everywhere. You will not give her and will still cry when her family who are not bothering you give her.

If your father was a billionaire and gave you money and gifts once in a while, will you come to Nairaland to cry like this? Egoistic chauvinistic small men everywhere.

Your fellow men are marrying old Oyibo grandmas and they don't complain that the grandma's grandkids send money to them. They don't mind cos afterall she has a Whyte skin. Dey play.

Acidosis:
How did you transition from buying your wife a car and a wristwatch worth 75k to giving her 3k to cook for you and your two kids?

If your story is true (which I 100% doubt), then you have a bigger problem on your hands - the problem of financial stup*dity.

Someone finally said my mind...

My dream marriage.

Just be eating off her family, and using my own money to cruise or save.

Kajaard:
How is the boldfaced possible?

You bought a car, shipped it and your in-law intercepted it and changed it before arrival. Does this make sense to you?

You're in spirit man
I don't just want to be too forward on this because I haven't bought a car before

A lot of the comments i read here are not really surprising given that most are from immature people. una think say marriage na beans abi?
MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR BOYS AND GIRLS !

DKM123:
■ Men and thier empty pride/ego. If her family chooses to give her a mansion why is that killing you?
Bad head everywhere. You will not give her and will still cry when her family who are not bothering you give her.
If your father was a billionaire and gave you money and gifts once in a while, will you come to Nairaland to cry like this? Egoistic chauvinistic small men everywhere. Your fellow men are marrying old Oyibo grandmas and they don't complain that the grandma's grandkids send money to them. They don't mind cos afterall she has a Whyte skin. Dey play.

Of course not! If it had been him running to his family for help upandan, and his wife had complained of them being too involved, OP would have probably sent her packing for that.

Acidosis:
How did you transition from buying your wife a car and a wristwatch worth 75k to giving her 3k to cook for you and your two kids?

If your story is true (which I 100% doubt), then you have a bigger problem on your hands - the problem of financial stup*dity.

Was thinking in similar direction because someone that can buy a car for a woman also bought a watch close to 75k can only drop 3k to cook food 😳

The story is. A fictional

I tut I was the only one agitating about this,that was how I was broke ,my igbo wife will call her family for anything, gradually I lost my marriage and till now igbo people have taking my daughter,on top of my bride price .soon your wife will put any blame on u,they married u for money sake,I guess she may be igbo.

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

You lied and this story was never true ..

You bought a car for her and her inlaw changed it ❌
You bought a watch of about 75k ❌
Yet you drop 3k to cook 🤔

Oga go back and reframe your fictional tales again

U marry mummy pet,soon another worst would happen like mine,tell me she cried when u take an action,u married a small girl in term of maturity.just like mine,now I have lost mine .am looking for yoruba wife not igbo again .

edunaragold:
I tut I was the only one agitating about this,that was how I was broke ,my igbo wife will call her family for anything, gradually I lost my marriage and till now igbo people have taking my daughter,on top of my bride price .soon your wife will put any blame on u,they married u for money sake,I guess she may be igbo.

edunaragold:
U marry mummy pet,soon another worst would happen like mine,tell me she cried when u take an action,u married a small girl in term of maturity.just like mine,now I have lost mine .am looking for yoruba wife not igbo again .

Tell the truth and stop spewing fables blaming the tribe for problems that were probably caused by your ego problems.

Don't worry, it's just a matter of time, it shall pass away. It happened to me

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

Hello, you are lucky you married from a well to do family. People are supporting you and you are complaining, what else do you want.

You are not paying house rent, she loves you and that's why she married you.
This is an opportunity for you to get close to your brother in-laws through your wife to show you opportunities to elevate your status.

Be humble and swallow your pride.

Advice from an elder who got married over 25 years ago.

POOR man with big EGO

how was your experience? the wife left?

stevups:
Don't worry, it's just a matter of time, it shall pass away. It happened to me

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

U cause it, u shouldn't have live in the house dat was gifted to u. Since u want to maintain Ur integrity as the man in respective your rich brother in-law. Anyways no one is perfect.. my opinion jst continue doing Ur part, and talk to her that ubshould be aware in case of next time.. I understand.