My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

Contentment should be key in every marriage.

She is obviously a spoilt brat and you know this before marriage.

If its within the family circle only that she begs for assistance and she gives you your respect ,then endure and double your hustle..

This is so touching.Their are lots of women out there looking for such a caring and loving man but the brothers should have sit her down and advise her what marriage is.
If she tries to lose such man she will regret it and she will start begging for him to come back since she can't appreciate the gifts...

seems like she came from well to do family, she's not use to "that kind lifestyle".


you knew what you signed up for

well there two things here , you either stop trying or you up your game .

U wanted a rich kid, u got one. Bros hustle hard 3k not fit cook pot of soup.

The kind of whiny cry babies we have as men today ehn! Tufia! Marry a poor girl, he'll come and whine that she and her family wants to kill him with billings. Oya marry a rich girl, he will come and whine that her family is taking over his responsibility and making him feel less than a man. What exactly do you men want?

Now oga op, you gave your wife 3k to cook food for yourself, herself and 2 kids as per magician wey she be. What kind of food is 3k supposed to cook? Should she starve because she's married to you when she knows she has a financially comfortable family that can bail her out? Would you have preferred if she had gone to her ex, or one toaster eyeing her on the streets for support? You should be happy you're married to a woman from a comfortable supportive family.

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

...

O boy, this is a big glaring red flag...

okay, alright...

first of all, okay wait...

*shrugs..., can't believe what he just read... trying to calm himself down... sighs

when it comes to marriage, many men overlook a lot of things which they later get to regrets when they finally married... most men fail to understand that, when you're marrying a woman, you're not just marrying only her, you're marrying her family as well... her family background and how they relate with each other says so much on how she's going to relate with you, if you ignore this aspect, you'll only have yourself to blame... marriage is one of the things that will determine if your life expectancy will be reduced or increased...

1) her family controls her and the way she was raised has already affected her... didn't you notice any red flags when you were dating or you let love becloud your sense of reasoning in your dating years... since she can't keep a secret and also get her mouth under control, I won't be surprised if she has described your dick length to her mother or brothers... she will bring shame to you

2) hypergamy; a very strong factor! this is why most men go for the ladies that they are socially high in status, the way she was raised has made her hypergamous antennas through the roof, nothing you do will ever satisfy her because from the onset, she saw you as less of a man... when a woman feels she's greater in status than you, she won't respect you, and if can't respect you, she won't honour you... most women think men can't handle "independent" women, no this is not the case, independent women feel they are also men and can't submit to any man or be under his control... this is why most of them are not marriageable, because men don't want to compete with their women...

3) you said you bought her all those things and she didn't appreciate, she won't and this is just the beginning of your woe, prepare to face more woes..

4) if the money you gave her from example was for a one time cooking, like maybe for lunch, breakfast or dinner, I don't know how she can't manage to cook a decent meal... nor be everyday be Christmas, it shows she's the type that will flee at any sign of worry or trouble...

5) I won't be surprised if her mother has emasculated her husband as well... her mother might be the one also controlling her husband..

6) she's not intellectually, socially, and emotionally matured for marriage...

7) her family should have married her for themselves...

8 ) don't buy her things any longer if she doesn't appreciate it.. let her family keep taking care of her responsibilities, and never consume anything they bought for her...

9) the only solution you have now is, divorce or to get another wife... if she still continue spilling secrets out or doesn't obey you, divorce her... it will be hard but for your own peace of mind unless you want to continue living in misery...

marvellous2222:
■ My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.
Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.
I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.
■ They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.
■ My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always. How do I handle this?

1. You want a woman who was raised in a rich home to come and experience poverty with you? Was that some sort of agreement you both made when you got married that you would both live solely off your money and not a dime from her own family money?

2. The business they are planning to open is for her, abi? Not for you? Why should they INCLUDE you in the plan? She is from that family so should she not at least get her share of the family money for herself or something?

3. When you were dating her, did you not notice this same thing about her?

In this economy you are sending a woman 3k to cook? To cook what exactly? Is she to also use the lizards in your compound? I think you should be arrested for attempted murder.

Shame no even catch you sef. 3k🤣😂😂😊🤣🤣🤣😅😂.

If you can’t afford to give her more than 3k what do you expect her to do? This is not a woman that struggled to eat before marriage. When she starts earning from her business maybe she won’t have to ask them. You can’t expect her to starve to cover your shame. Good food is a necessity of life, she has two children to feed. Unnecessary ego and pride is dangerous for a man who is struggling to provide. Accept the help that your in laws are giving to you, use that as motivation to upgrade yourself and your family.

The mistake is from you and i know you saw the red flags times with out numbers but you think you'll gain more from the marriage because ur wife is from a rich family.
we always advice men here but they think we are lying.
1.don't marry women who're far richer than you or from a very wealthy family..
2.don't marry ex olosho.
3.don't marry mannerless, spoiled kids.
You're under one chance and i don't think that marriage will be enjoyable for you.
Oga shoe get size, always go for ur size since you're doing well..
I don't see that woman change anytime from now, is either you breakup or you keep on enduring.
Your mind go dey..

this one has sold you to her family. you're nothing to them. The worst is yet to come with such a woman. Tufiakwa

olabrinks:
If you can’t afford to give her more than 3k what do you expect her to do? This is not a woman that struggled to eat before marriage. When she starts earning from her business maybe she won’t have to ask them. You can’t expect her to starve to cover your shame. Good food is a necessity of life, she had two children to feed. Unnecessary ego and pride is dangerous for a man who is struggling to provide. Accept the help that your in laws are giving to you, use that as motivation to upgrade yourself and your family.

lol you're speaking like this because you're probably a woman... don't you know everything is just a phase? even though his wife wants to help, a good wife who respects her husband will find a way to cover up his shame, not be the one to add insults to injury by exposing his secrets...

let's say for example the man is rich and he suddenly becomes poor, is that how he's going to become an object of scorn just because she came from a "rich" home... they could have married her themselves then if they would still be controlling her in the marriage...

the OP didn't say he rejected the in-laws help, but the wife is making it feel as if the man is not trying his best? didn't you see where he said he bought the wife a car and that amount of wristwatch? she didn't even appreciate it nor acknowledge them... they are indirectly controlling the affairs of his home which is not what any man can accept except he's weak... men want to control their own territory... I'm sure he even does those things just to prove to his wife that he's trying his best otherwise to me it's totally unnecessary, it's all because of the pressure he's facing from his wife and the in-laws as well which were all fueled up by the wife he married...

she's not matured enough for marriage, that's because of they way they spoilt her, I've seen many women from well-to-do and reputable families still did good by their husband... even if you need help from relatives, there's a way you would ask for it, not saying that your husband gives you so so amount, or your husband does this and that, shey e fit get more than that, e nor go drop? why una dey always talk like this? shey e get where dem dey pluck money for tree?

Reminderz:
■ lol you're speaking like this because you're probably a woman... don't you know everything is just a phase? even though his wife wants to help, a good wife who respects her husband will find a way to cover up his shame, not be the one to add insults to injury by exposing his secrets...
let's say for example the man is rich and he suddenly becomes poor, is that how he's going to become an object of scorn just because she came from a "rich" home... they could have married her themselves then if they would still be controlling her in the marriage...
■ the OP didn't say he rejected the in-laws help, but the wife is making it feel as if the man is not trying his best? didn't you see where he said he bought the wife a car and that amount of wristwatch? she didn't even appreciate it nor acknowledge them... they are indirectly controlling the affairs of his home which is not what any man can accept except he's weak... men want to control their own territory... I'm sure he even does those things just to prove to his wife that he's trying his best otherwise to me it's totally unnecessary, it's all because of the pressure he's facing from his wife and the in-laws as well which were all fueled up by the wife he married...
■ she's not matured enough for marriage, that's because of they way they spoilt her, I've seen many women from well-to-do and reputable families still did good by their husband... even if you need help from relatives, there's a way you would ask for it, not saying that your husband gives you so so amount, or your husband does this and that, shey e fit get more than that, e nor go drop? why una dey always talk like this? shey e get where dem dey pluck money for tree?

So in your mind, a "good wife" is a woman who sacrifices the well-being and welfare of her own children for the sake of covering the shortcomings of their father and her husband?

2. Bullsheet! OP never said that! The wife is not the one making OP feel the way he feels... he feels that way because his ego is bruised but the question should be should a poor man keep an ego about himself? ?

3. OK, OP, here is a fellow telling you to divorce your wife then.

How can you marry from a family who're doing better than you in 10folds. Imagine you want to buy a car and they change it to what they like because urs is too cheap. You'll always feel challenged because ur best is a peanut to ur wife. She is one of those spoiled ajebo kids and those set hardly get sense except a painful experience involving death or fall down..

Kobojunkie:
So in your mind, a "good wife" is a woman who sacrifices the well-being and welfare of her own children for the sake of covering the shortcomings of their father and her husband?

2. Bullsheet! OP never said that! The wife is not the one making OP feel the way he feels... he feels that way because his ego is bruised but the question should be should a poor man keep an ego about himself? ?

3. OK, OP, here is a fellow telling you to divorce your wife then.

it's you, I would rather fight terrorists in Israel than waste my time conversing with you...

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

This is why Islam forbids a man to marry a woman whose tasted luxury into penury or manage first. This is the results. The ancient were the best behavioral scientists, they encoded some of its observations into religious text way before man invented field of science. A way out; Step up or chill until you, just seem unbothered meanwhile, work your ass off to balance your feelings of not been man enough...

What do you understand by the statement, the wife don't appreciate the gifts and cash he gave to her.
His best is not enough for the women and such marriage will not last..

Kobojunkie:
So in your mind, a "good wife" is a woman who sacrifices the well-being and welfare of her own children for the sake of covering the shortcomings of their father and her husband?

2. Bullsheet! OP never said that! The wife is not the one making OP feel the way he feels... he feels that way because his ego is bruised but the question should be should a poor man keep an ego about himself? ?

3. OK, OP, here is a fellow telling you to divorce your wife then.

This particular one pass me!!
As per Sharp guy Way I be!! I don learn from this one. No be everything person go experience before sense go come!
So OP! How u want run the matter now?? You been use money impress her before marriage?
Questions plenty.

WantsandMore:
This is why Islam forbids a man to marry a woman whose tasted luxury into penury or manage first. This is the results. The ancient were the best behavioral scientists, they encoded some of its observations into religious text way before man invented field of science. A way out; Step up or chill until you, just seem unbothered meanwhile, work your ass off to balance your feelings of not been man enough...

Nonsense!

All OP needs to do is die to his ego in order to continue enjoying his marriage as he has up to the point before all of this. The problem is Poverty and not his marriage. The solution is for Op to adjust or become rich enough so his wife would have no need to dig into her family's wealth when it comes to caring for her own household. Simple!

There were red flags before marriage but you ignored.

Have you told her that her behaviour hurts you. Giving her examples?

If talking to her doesn't work, then work extra hard. It part of what you signed up for.

GoldenJAT:
This particular one pass me!!
As per Sharp guy Way I be!! I don learn from this one. No be everything person go experience before sense go come!
So OP! How u want run the matter now?? You been use money impress her before marriage?
Questions plenty.

I'm sure he impressed her so much with money before marriage

Kobojunkie:
Nonsense!

All OP needs to do is die to his ego in order to continue enjoying his marriage as he has up to the point before all of this. The problem is Poverty and not his marriage. The solution is for Op to adjust or become rich enough so his wife would have no need to dig into her family's wealth when it comes to caring for her own household. Simple!

Kobojunkie your ignorance will be the end of you

WantsandMore:
Kobojunkie your ignorance will be the end of you

Look who's talking!

Kobojunkie:
Look who's talking!

look who's still ignorant

WantsandMore:
look who's still ignorant

Look who's talking!

Kobojunkie:
Look who's talking!

marvellous2222:
My wife calls her family for everything, once I'm broke she calls her mother to send her food items, I have begged her to stop, I have gotten angry yet she said she can't be hungry in a man's house when there's excess in her parents house, my wife can't manage 3k to cook for me, a family with just 2 kids, she'll call her elder brothers and tell them I gave her 3k to cook immediately they will send money for her.

Can't a woman water down her taste to keep her marriage? They don't insult me but I feel not man enough, I feel less of myself, my wife is from a rich home and the house we are living is a wedding gift from her brothers, she's an only daughter and they over pamper her, they don't allow her ask twice.

I remember I bought a car for her when she delivered our first child my brother in-law knew about it before the car arrived cause I ordered through his company, he changed the car to something twice the one I could afford without my knowledge, when they brought a car to the house I said this isn't what I ordered my brother in-law said their Ada can't be seen driving such after marriage.

They are planning to open a business for her and they didn't involve me in the plan, my marriage is not what I wanted cause I feel like I'm not man enough.

My wife doesn't appreciate gifts from me like when it's from her family, I got her a 75k watch she said thank you and for months she didn't use it, I had to remind her that there's a watch I gave her, but when one of her brother sent her a watch worth 260k she danced and used it always.

How do I handle this?

How is the boldfaced possible?

You bought a car, shipped it and your in-law intercepted it and changed it before arrival. Does this make sense to you?

dominique:
The kind of whiny cry babies we have as men today ehn! Tufia! Marry a poor girl, he'll come and whine that she and her family wants to kill him with billings. Oya marry a rich girl, he will come and whine that her family is taking over his responsibility and making him feel less than a man. What exactly do you men want?

Now oga op, you gave your wife 3k to cook food for yourself, herself and 2 kids as per magician wet she be. What kind of food is 3k supposed to cook? Should she starve because she's married to you when she knows she has a financially comfortable family? Would you have preferred if she had gone to her ex, or one toaster eyeing her on the streets for support? You should be happy you're married to a woman from a comfortable supportive family.

Yet again you skipped the car he got for her but she should always run to her family
They play

This is a complete narration of the pain of marrying into a home as a man, that their standard is higher than yours. All bachelor's should take a cue from this.

Truth is, there is nothing you can do but to pray to God for help and bear.

The deed has been done. It's well

How did you transition from buying your wife a car and a wristwatch worth 75k to giving her 3k to cook for you and your two kids?

If your story is true (which I 100% doubt), then you have a bigger problem on your hands - the problem of financial stup*dity.