₦airaland Forum

DrAkpamudehe:
I don't think you are accurate here. When you migrate to the west as an adult African immigrant, it is very difficult to break into white people's social network. These people develop their social network right from childhood, and it is the friends they acquire from childhood that they carry on with till old age. Secondly, many times when you are in their midst as an adult African migrant, you find it boring because their jokes, discussions apart from the ones centred on careers won't appeal to you because you didn't grow up there.
The summary of my rejoinder is that it is easier to mingle or break into the white man's social network when you migrate as a very young person. At most, early 20s.

Even the white people sef no get social network.....that's why they are the mass shooters chain smokers and alcoholics....

Great pity! She needs counselling and friendships.

Those who don't have a strong financial base nor any form of support should think twice before relocating abroad. It's very tough finding your feet in that space at this point in time. Life is hard all over the world. Inflation is everywhere too. It gets worse with isolation.

Also if you don't know anyone there, it's wise to relocate to places where there's a higher concentration of Nigerians. At least you get to see people in Church if you're a Christian, the African shops and restaurants.

BigBashiru:
Even the white people sef no get social network.....that's why they are the mass shooters chain smokers and alcoholics....

The bolded are the societal issues peculiar to their society. In Nigeria you have the equivalent as the bolded in your quote. We also have chain smokers, alcoholics, herdsmen, unknown gun men, oluomo and his crew. So no society is perfect

officialwdhtv:
I feel so lonely. I feel so sad- Nigerian lady residing in Canada weeps as she recounts her life after relocating

#wetindeyhappentv


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWSftpQCZO4

When are you coming back to Nigeria?
I guess that will solve the problem

Either come back and let's face
Jagaban's poverty together

Or

Remain in Canada, making good money
with nobody to share a life with except
you, your Canadian dollars💲 & sxetoy.


You can't have it both ways.


An unmarried female going to ogbodo
is in for a lonely life. Men can always
release tension with oyibo oloshos, but
what choice do single ladies have apart
from artificial cassava❓❓😁😁😁

ChiefOloye:
What does she want?

....she wants dick 🙄

Nawaoooo...see what konji has caused for her 🙄

Nawaoooo...see what cold weather and weather for two has caused for her 🙄

nikdam:
This lady is going into depression if not already depressed. She should try and see a psychologist ASAP. Those who know her should be there for her, call her and all. Don't complicate her issue by calling her names and family back home should there best to show her love anyway they can. People abroad are going through a lot psychologically, she speaks out now o. If you know her do the best you can do to help her not that you people will start writing rip if something else happens to her later. May she find the help she needs.

This is the only reasonable comment I have gotten this far.
This lady is under pressure, depression is the next phase if nothing changes. We think some time that because u jakpa everything is going well, outside, u have to work and work to survive.
I pray she gets urgent help by God's grace.

ashawopikin:
most men no send their papa, especially Nigerian girls

....but nigeria men plenty for Canada

hssd8nland:
The problem is the way our society is in Nigeria makes you want to socialize we are not so used to managing our business . I remember when i was in school overseas you can be in the train and nobody i mean nobody would even look at you everyone is minding his business but down here common passing on the road you just be saying good afternoon or good morning to virtually everyone you are passing till you reach your destination. The society is not the same if you are not so used to leaving by your self leaving abroad will be very challenging for you.

The Nigerian culture of good morning good afternoon is better. Recently about 5-10 years ago, British rail ran a campaign to get ppl to say hello to other ppl....its the social isolation in the west that ultimately causes things like mass shootings

I sympathize with her deeply. Sincerely speaking , there is loliness ooooo. I recently travelled out and spent only two months. Depression and loliness nearly kill me. I missed my family friends, food, my biological cravings. Above all abroad is highly regulated. I find everything boring despite enough food water and electricity. I discussed with some female/ Male friends I met overthere; they confided in me that they havnt had sex for two years. Is that life. Getting money without happiness. 😀 U only enjoy abroad fairly when u go as a couple🙏

ashawopikin:
You feel so lonely and sad, yet you no wan come back

...to come back to renewed shege government? 🙄

Unittyy:
The lady should socialize and mingle with people

Nigerians over there would be her solace.

Be social, interact, associate and make female friends even if they are nigeria female friends...and from the female friends you have you will have male friends, boyfriends and future husband... simple🙄

Come 9ja come face the poverty wey dey nack us gbasgbos. I for like swap place with her if e dey possible. My sister, manage the loneliness oh, e beta pass poverty loneliness by miles.

Kobojunkie:
So they are having a hard time integrating and the solution should be for them to hurdle up with others who are equallly struggling to integrate??

Nigerians no dey like to solve problems at all. So instead of suggesting she learn to step out of her Nigerianess, your suggestion is that she find other Nigerians struggling with loneliness to hide away with in their churches, etc? The same hoodoo that is Nigeria where racism seems the order of the day?

Always reasoning out of your arse as usual. I wonder which indices shows you that the so-called white people integrate better when they come to Nigeria. The same white people that never step out of their Ikoyi apartments all day or the ones typically driven in tinted SUVs from place to place and hardly have any one-on-one interaction with the locals? Keep talking from the side of your mouth to make your flabby ideas fit

So plane don’t come to Nigeria anymore. Crying for social media. I know some folks will believe this nonsense.

Buy ticket and return to your father’s land.

Women are social creatures, Men do better in solitude than Women which is another reason why Women seek relationships and marriage because their survival instinct mandates them to.

Yusufisraelj:
■ Lols, I see why some randy guys bash Ladies, you take sincere opinions out of context and spin it to suit what you believe. If your experience points men to want a lady's body rather than values, then it is what it is, but not all of us date women for the purpose of sex.
Has it occur to you that one could be rejected based on region or culture which is no fault of theirs and a factor you don't have control over.
I can see you're comfortable with what suits you, I will rather not engage further. Happy Sunday.

No need for the stories is what. People dey marry everywhere so there is no need to spin tales that have no real meaning abeg!

DrAkpamudehe:
I disagree with your first point. How exactly do they mingle when they come to Nigeria as expatriates? People who limit them selves to ikoyi, phase 1, Victoria island and banana island, and only hang out with their fellow expatriates. Is that one mingle? Oga, they don't mingle when they come to Nigeria. If you live in Lagos, how often do you see white people on the mainland apart from seeing them in clusters at shopping malls, restaurants, and clubs in ikoyi, Banana island, Lekki phase 1 and v/island....?


2. Not everyone's joke will appeal to you, especially when you grow up in a different culture. Except you want to fake a smile when they crack their boring jokes. I call that hypocrisy.

3. I have lived, worked and travelled between different cultures and countries in the last 14years, and I can affirm to you that as you grow older, you would naturally limit yourself to your kit and kin. When you are a young adult or teenager, you are more naturally adventurous and inclined to interact with other races in the western world, but as you age and grow older, the opposite begins to happen and that inclination reduces drastically. It is just nature.

Summarily, oga ,white people don't mingle when they come to Nigeria either as visitors or expatriates. They restrict themselves to their fellow whites and limit their movements within the highbrow places of where they reside or stay in Nigeria. Pls stop making them feel superior to the Nigerians in terms of mingling. They don't also mingle freely if you are not within their social network. Their mingling ends most times at the workplace. Please, let's not go there with too much argument.

I didn't even see this before I typed by response which is very similar. Don't mind that guy, he's always reasoning with half of his brain.
I worked with Chinese people in Huawei in Nigeria. You won't even believe they are that many in Nigeria. Even down to workspace, they work in their own space away from Nigerians, eat their own food which is imported, and band together to go to the movies or anywhere else. You'll see the coaster bus that brings them, and how they come down like sardine to go to the mall. Coaster bus will wait for like four hours until they are done, then it's straight back inside and onwards to their isolated residences before office on Monday. I can guarantee you most of then are depressed from that already.
I also worked with Americans at Shell. Nearly the same thing. The best several of them have to an interaction with the locals is pulling their window curtain side and looking into the busy streets of ozumba mbadiwe. I don't think Nigerians are aware of how many Americans are truly living in Nigeria. You only see maybe 1-10% around. The rest are all locked up in their apartment, following very strict warnings from their embassy not to step out of the house unaccompanied and if they must do, escorts are provided.

This socialisation problem cuts across culture. Just as Nigerians go to Canada or US and find it difficult to integrate is the same way they go to Nigeria and find it difficult to integrate. You've made a very strong remark by observing that as humans get older, they try to find answers to life in their own culture and among their own people. Only very few brave ones venture out. That has nothing to do with whether you are white or black

Merx:
While in Nigeria, there is no dull moment. Lamentations will keep you busy

Michaelspresh:
shut up and stop spewing trash

Shut up.
Nigerian woman.

NuCypher:
I didn't even see this before I typed by response which is very similar. Don't mind that guy, he's always reasoning with half of his brain.
I worked with Chinese people in Huawei in Nigeria. You won't even believe they are that many in Nigeria. Even down to workspace, they work in their own space away from Nigerians, eat their own food which is imported, and band together to go to the movies or anywhere else.
I also worked with Americans at Shell. Nearly the same thing. The best several of them have to an interaction with the locals is pulling their window curtain side and looking into the busy streets of ozumba mbadiwe.

This socialisation problem cuts across culture. Just as Nigerians go to Canada or US and find it difficult to integrate is the same way they go to Nigeria and find it difficult to integrate. You've made a very strong remark by observing that as humans get older, they try to find answers to life in their own culture and among their own people. Only very few brave ones venture out. That has nothing to do with whether you are white or black

Gbam. Let me quote this post for posterity

Then come back na. Make tinubu give you shege banza

Na Ogun go kill you , You shall be lonely till death.. I know you are only trying to go viral with this nonsense. You do shakara for men here in Canada and run to social media for being lonely . Fucking hypocrite… Nigerian women especially the smelling Yoruba women/ ladies are the worst set of speeches to toast or date here in Canada . Ogun kill you and make you more lonely and die of depression.

Unittyy:
The lady should socialize and mingle with people

Socialize with which people? Everyone here is busy, no time for social events or hangout.
The bill is killing, u have to work to stay afloat.

Acidosis:
Why haven't you gone back to your village despite the hardship in Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt?

Why do most of u always like talking nonsense? Is there anywhere in Nigeria that there is no hardship now?

Did the people living in lagos, Ph, or Abuja told u it's because they are living there that's why they are facing hardship? House rent in my place is almost as expensive in most part of lagos and Abuja now. So why talking off point?

laivwire:
I agree with you. I won't agree I'm lying though, we just see this issue from different perspectives.

You were right. A lot of studies have shown that cultural isolation exists in western societies. The culture of the west is very different from that of African societies were people mingle easily. In most western societies, people keep to themselves. There was a recent story of a lady in London who died living alone in a flat, and it took a couple of years before her next door neighbour knew she was dead after she noticed maggots.

If na prick dey hungry you. arrange for me to join you. i gat smart prick.

That is the harder part. Who want to get marry? Marriage is a long shot for foreigners. More than half of Nigerian will have to go back to home to find spouse and if you're not a citizen or permanent resident, you don't have such option and you lonely years is without numbers. One of the main disadvantage of traveling abroad is lonely and when you're an extrovert, it magnified such problem.

pandax:
I know the feeling baby girl,been there before i ran back. The downside of obodo oyibo. Please look for husband and marry, it will help you

anonymous1759:
■ I’ve been reading both of your comments you guys are right from different Angles . My own submission, trust issues is another factors if you go to the island you’ll see foreigners in hotels in cliques but you don’t see them in regular street except when they’re working .
■ cultural differences is the biggest barrier for me here just like the other guy said different interests is another issues as long as the interest don’t align there’s no conversation. Here In Nigeria i find it difficult to mingle because most people don’t know how to converse the discrepancies in our intellectual and interests is a factor .for me if you’re not money making orientated you can’t be my friend because we can’t be talking about sports, science, entertainment, politics, party’s and woman all the time , but find it common with Nigerians that their major convo lies with drinks and woman for the guys while social media ,fashion and party’s for the ladies . You can’t hold meaningful conversations with them .
■ Whites are sapiosexual even if you associate with them in social clubs what keeps the relationship is your intelligence. If you try to converse with a naija girl online it’ll be like climbing Mount Everest because the brain is not there unless you’re talking about party’s and miscellaneous.
■ My philosophy about life i try to get a little knowledge about everything it helps you to mingle and socialize easily. I’m not bragging but anywhere I find myself you can’t bring up 1-5 topics that I can’t contribute a little even if it’s in a layman view I’ll try to contribute that’ll make people pick interest in you and seek your friendship . My reason for not being social is for my sanity too many friends = too many Wahala envy amongst circles disgust and scares me . Someone will just poison you for know reason . My advice try to have a wide knowledge, secondly pick a social group you’re good at if it’s a religious society be devoted or any other society the devotion will attract people and lastly behave in an orderly manner it goes a long way .

1. What reason do they have to be in regular street when the intelligence of regular street is of no interest to them?

2. Are those interests cultural or more intellectual? See that issue you claim you had in Nigeria is the exact same problem I too had in NIgeria. It has nothing to do with culture for me then and still doesn't. So I too would not mingle on streets as a result.

3. This problem isn't just with Nigerian women but Nigerian men as well. The average Nigerian is closeminded and unwilling to critically analyze situations in a bid to find opportunities to open self up to new knowledge. Look around here on Nairaland for a peak into the mind of the average individual and then consider the near rigid resistance to change due mainly to the close-mindedness of cultural upbringing and you see why it is so hard for most to integrate even after leaving the shores of Nigerian.

4. I would advice any Nigerian I meet to get as far away from religion as possible if looking to enjoying life abroad. Abandon religion(and culture) and all it has ever taught you before you board the plane in Nigeria and push instead to opening to mind up to new risks and new opportunities/realities.