Acidosis:


Does this explain why many northerners don't travel abroad? Of course, apart from elites like Aisha Buhari's daughters, Zainab, and others who give birth in the UK?

Yes part of it. And northerners especially hausas don't joke with their culture. Anything that will separate them from their culture, they'll better do away with that thing. So going abroad to base there doesn't move them but they go for vacation, shopping and all that.

Mhizzard:

here,you are the husband in which you are the head of the family and whatever you say concerning your wife as a matter over the unborn baby it is the final,that is if you paid her dowry.let them understand you that in your family you don't practically do that.

I did everything, this my first issue and been that I have not gone through that route I seek advice

Acidosis:



Now you're already showing "fear." The number one sign of a weak and defeated man. At this point, I'm sure you will donate your d.**k if an idol ask for it.

Emancipate yourself. Nigerians give birth across different continents without having to travel to some village to meet the demands of a drunken idol.

Feel free to say whatever you want, kid. I am too busy for this, let's just agree to disagree

Wujio:



It doesnt. Its you the man that determines everything. But dont see everything as attack. Tell them you prefer to have your child at your place and that her mum can come to her at your place. That this is what you prefer. Ot is your right. But dont see them as enemies is what i am simply saying

Good thought, I will call the mother and tell her this to hear from her

mexxy1:
First, she is YOUR WIFE and it's YOUR CHILD she's carrying.

NOBODY has the right to decide for you where you want your child to be delivered.

The mother can come stay with her when it's close to the EDD unless she had her antenatal close to her family residence then, it's fine for her to be close to the hospital/clinic. But, if that's not the case, she's your wife and the child is yours and the responsibility is yours.

If they won't come visit because she didn't stay with them to deliver, then let them stay in their house. Unless they're the ones paying the hospital bill when she delivers.

Even if I should allow her travel and deliver with them, I will still be the one to foot all the bills both before and after delivery

Acidosis:

You people will destroy the family structure las las. Why are they insisting? Is the mother/father a maternity nurse, a medical doctor, or gynaecologist?

Has your wife not started her antenatal clinic visits? Do you live in a village where doctors and clinics don't exist?

Two things are involved here, they probably don't trust you enough to give their daughter the best care or they're trying to carry out some spiritual stuff. This is why you should be careful.

I think the first should be the case because the father keep asking me the hospital I went to and all that

Besides its in government hospital in Abuja

fyzaila:
There's nothing wrong in what her parent are insisting. In the north here, it's very common. And besides, op is it not less of a burden for you? Atleast she would be well cared for and not much will reduce from your pocket.

Which pocket, I will still be the one to foot all the bills which might be inflated

LithiumBa3:
■ I don't know if the topic I used is write but I have this problem bothering me, that I would like to seek solution for, my moniker is popular in this forum so I decided to create new account for some security reasons. My wife is pregnant and my in-laws are insisting I bring her home to deliver, I have asked them reason for this, they said because it's her first pregnancy, that they wants to take care of her. Although I'm against this proposal but each time they call they keep insisting on this and I'm getting tired over it.
■ House I need you guys to look into this, is it right for her to go and deliver in their house or stay with me and deliver. Please I need urgent and matured advice and for record sake her bride price was fully paid.

You say your in-laws said, but what is your own wife saying? Are you able to be there to help your wife through it and afterward? Or are you of the mind that she can do it all by herself?

2. Why are you asking the house? Is the house married to your wife? You and your wife ought to come together to decide who will do what, when, and how. And whether it is best she goes stay with her parents or whatever. Why you dey ask strangers who know nothing of the capabilities of you and your wife in this?

LithiumBa3:


Good thought, I will call the mother and tell her this to hear from her

I'm not your father plz. Stop treating your wife's family like enemies and sometimes see help as beneficial not acrimony

Kobojunkie:
You say your in-laws said, but what is your own wife saying? Are you able to be there to help your wife through it and afterward? Or are you of the mind that she can do it all by herself?

2. Why are you asking the house? Is the house married to your wife? You and your wife ought to come together to decide who will do what, when, and how. And whether it is best she goes stay with her parents or whatever. Why you dey ask strangers who know nothing of the capabilities of you and your wife in this?

My wife prefers here but each time the parents father or mother they keep asking her to persuade to allow her come home and born.

Wujio:



I'm not your father plz. Stop treating your wife's family like enemies and sometimes see help as beneficial not acrimony

I'm not seeing anybody as enemy, I'm only asking to know the right thing to do

LithiumBa3:
■ My wife prefers here but each time the parents father or mother they keep asking her to persuade to allow her come home and born.

If your wife prefers to stay with you but her parents insist that you send her to them, then it means her parents do not respect her choice as an individual. Let your wife deal with her parents.

LithiumBa3:


She's the first daughter and besides is both the mother and father that are telling me to bring her home.

I'm not spiritual person but I'm afraid that might be something they are not telling me, because I never heard before married woman go her papa house to deliver

I delivered with my husband in Benin but ran after 10 days to Lagos to be with my parents.
E dey sweet you as it's your first but if na only 2 of you, it wouldn't be easy o.
I was happy I left as I had enough support from family.
There's a enough time to bond with the baby.

LithiumBa3:


Even if I should allow her travel and deliver with them, I will still be the one to foot all the bills both before and after delivery

Then you already have your answer.

The child and mother are your responsibility so, they have to stay with you till she delivers. The mother can come stay to take care of her prior to the EDD and probably a few weeks after.

But, if the nature of your job will not allow you be around her when she is due, it's advisable she has someone around for that period. This is YOUR FIRST CHILD and nobody should decide for you.

LithiumBa3:


My wife prefers here but each time the parents father or mother they keep asking her to persuade to allow her come home and born.

If she has supportive hands around, it's fine for her to stay back.
I had nobody to massage me with hot water, cook for me....I gave birth during Christmas period and had to do cooking which was very stressful for me.
I hope she has done a critical review of the journey ahead and you're willing to take turns to nurse at night especially you the husband.
If it's a boy child, colic is not for the faint hearted o.
Let her go to them if you love your sleep and will be selecting tasks.
As regards bills, if it's going to be a burden if she leaves, bring MIL over. I'm talking from the point of a working wife.

I heard some culture practice it...that when it's time to give birth, she must go back to her family and deliver,then stays for few months, when it's time for her to go back, the husband brings things to the family to appreciate and goes back with the wife.
Dear op it's a simple thing, just make sure she's not taken to all these native places to avoid complication.
I believe it's just a matter of 3months, she'll be back to the house BUT ensure you visit often to ensure all is going well.
I wish her safe delivery.

LithiumBa3:


My wife prefers here but each time the parents father or mother they keep asking her to persuade to allow her come home and born.

Did you marry from EDO...seems it cultural.

OP, I'll tell you just one thing. STAND YOUR GROUND! You are the head of your home. You are the man of your house. F(u)ck any cultural rubbish your wife's family may be holding on to. Your decision supercedes all of that if at all
where she comes from has those stupid cultural s(h)it.

No one has the right to tell you where your wife should go and give birth. If you agree to this, your inlaws will rubbish you beyond what they have done already. Na see finish even dey make them tell you say your wife suppose come born for their place.

STAND YOUR GROUND Mr. Man! And I'm telling you this as a man who has dealt with his in-laws when they overstepped their boundaries.

Rubbish!

MS247:




You have a daughter, raised her for 365 days , 25 years , cloth her , loved her , watch her grow

Then she is pregnant and you requested for her to deliver close to you

And

A Man who from no where met her less than 5 years paid some dowry and feels he has exclusive right over her



.

you for kuku marry her to yourself ngbano

LithiumBa3:


Bros be calming down, for me to bring this topic here is just for me to know if it's right not like I'm trying to be strong head, after all this is my first time of hearing this, my sister never delivered at home.

you get time to explain to the fool

LithiumBa3:
I don't know if the topic I used is write but I have this problem bothering me, that I would like to seek solution for, my moniker is popular in this forum so I decided to create new account for some security reasons.

My wife is pregnant and my in-laws are insisting I bring her home to deliver, I have asked them reason for this, they said because it's her first pregnancy, that they wants to take care of her.

Although I'm against this proposal but each time they call they keep insisting on this and I'm getting tired over it.

House I need you guys to look into this, is it right for her to go and deliver in their house or stay with me and deliver.

Please I need urgent and matured advice and for record sake her bride price was fully paid.

Mynd44, r231

Ok answer this question if you were to reside in another country , UK or US will they ask you to book a return flight all cos of unnecessary tradition, Secondly if there daughter were to be married to a white man will this tradition still hold?

oyaaaa

Pharaohny:



you for kuku marry her to yourself ngbano

You sef go soon born and God go give you girl

No worry you go understand soon

LithiumBa3:
I don't know if the topic I used is write but I have this problem bothering me, that I would like to seek solution for, my moniker is popular in this forum so I decided to create new account for some security reasons.

My wife is pregnant and my in-laws are insisting I bring her home to deliver, I have asked them reason for this, they said because it's her first pregnancy, that they wants to take care of her.

Although I'm against this proposal but each time they call they keep insisting on this and I'm getting tired over it.

House I need you guys to look into this, is it right for her to go and deliver in their house or stay with me and deliver.

Please I need urgent and matured advice and for record sake her bride price was fully paid.

Mynd44, r231

I think if you are not comfortable with that kind of arrangements,
Make plans for your mother inlaw to be there on or before delivery to assist her

Some newly married men are looking for this kind of opportunity, just to assist the woman as a first time mom

So it depends on your relationship with them

LithiumBa3:


Those it mean married men their wife deliver first child in their papa house?

Capital NO!

MS247:


I pray nothing bad happens during child delivery if not the O.P would explain tire

Explain what??

Is her father's house a hospital?

You guys should stop encouraging this kind of stupidity and arrogance.

MS247:


You sef go soon born and God go give you girl

No worry you go understand soon

There is nothing to understand. Every married man deserves to experience and stand by his wife during the pregnancy journey. If complications ever arise, a medical practitioner will be the right person to visit.

When married men are talking about their wife's experiences in pregnancy and child birth, na so you go close mouth like mu.mu because of weakness and see finish?

Acidosis:


There is nothing to understand. Every married man deserves to experience and stand by his wife during the pregnancy journey. If complications ever arise, a medical practitioner will be the right person to visit.

When married men are talking about their wife's experiences in pregnancy and child birth, na so you go close mouth like mu.mu because of weakness and see finish?

Someone suggested my mother inlaw to come before delivery, I think I will go with that because allowing my wife to travel to east from Abuja is not something I can easily approved

LithiumBa3:


Someone suggested my mother inlaw to come before delivery, I think I will go with that because allowing my wife to travel to east from Abuja is not something I can easily approved

Good. It's very okay to invite her to come before delivery.

ChybuzzDD:


Explain what??

Is her father's house a hospital?

You guys should stop encouraging this kind of stupidity and arrogance.

Because of this I asked my wife if they have family doctor she said NO

LithiumBa3:


Because of this I asked my wife if they have family doctor she said NO

What they're doing is simply intimidation, most probably because they're richer than you.

Justkatty:
I heard some culture practice it...that when it's time to give birth, she must go back to her family and deliver,then stays for few months, when it's time for her to go back, the husband brings things to the family to appreciate and goes back with the wife.
Dear op it's a simple thing, just make sure she's not taken to all these native places to avoid complication.
I believe it's just a matter of 3months, she'll be back to the house BUT ensure you visit often to ensure all is going well.
I wish her safe delivery.

Op is not going to comply with that stupid culture.

He has his own culture that requires his wife to deliver from her marital home, not her parents' home.

ChybuzzDD:


Op is not going to comply with that stupid culture.

He has his own culture that requires his wife to deliver from her marital home, not her parents' home.

His choice not ours.