YourKarma:
■ I'm talking from my experience, they seem too fragile to me.
What this man in this post will probably do is to send the baby to his (the man's) mom to look after. I doubt he'll be able to do it on his own

IkpemhiTG:
She will be going alone (A hard and tough decision i must confess) leaving the me and my 5 months old baby till when things are soft for us to join her.

I don't know how easy or how soon it will be for her to send invite for us to join her.
How's life in the UK with a single mum?

Who have passed through this situation and how did you people pull through

IkpemhiTG:
She will be going alone (A hard and tough decision i must confess) leaving the me and my 5 months old baby till when things are soft for us to join her.

I don't know how easy or how soon it will be for her to send invite for us to join her.
How's life in the UK with a single mum?

Who have passed through this situation and how did you people pull through

datbay:
I am based in the UK.. if your wife actually got a paramedic job( I hope its with NHS), do everything possible for all of you to come in together now.....People who come here on work visa settle down faster and easier than people with students visa ........

DrYa:


Haba, why all these bad advice...
We are in UK and we are all doing well to the glory of God.
If she got job as paramedic, great one for you...

Option 1.... she goes alone, take care of the child alone in Nigeria or get a female relative to help you, then join her maybe after 6 months or so.
She has COS I assume, hence you can always apply as dependent, you will get your visa.

Option 2...go with her to UK, you may not plan to work for now, let her do her paramedic job and you take care of baby at home. Bro, the money alone as paramedic will help all of you to survive well (na only 3 na, father, mother and small baby), even with bills, you will survive, just don't overdo/overspend, don't do what is not necessarily, dont eat/buy things not needed.
Moreover, its not like nigeria where you work without stopping, here you have a max number of hours to work in a week as per government rule, if you then decide to do extra, then you get your extra pay (I am talking about sponsorship jobs, not student visa)
She is also likely to do shift work as a paramedic, hence she would still be available sometimes depending on her shift, i(so it's not that bad)
Also when she is off work, you can do your own hustle.

Do you know that as at now £1 =1450-1500 naira?
Oga, don't dull yourself o..
But always remember to pray about any step you wanna take.
Shalom

Kobojunkie:
□ Oh, so human men are no different from animals now ehn?
▢ Male animals like seahorses and all the rest of dem wey dey raise their babies are even better than human males when it comes to raising babies, right? .

samsard:
LMAO. You want a man to take care of a 5 month old baby while the mother is alive? Are you normal?

purples25:
Leaving a tender five months old baby is such a hard somewhat heartless decision but if it much be done then baby should be given to paternal or maternal grandmother and a female relative or help must stay with them both.

cococandy:
Women don’t bring anything to the table but here y’all are fretting about how he’s going to care for a 5 month old by himself. Almost as if we are necessary for survival. But what do I know.

Gerrard59:


Honestly, I found it stunning that many Nairaland males kicked against it. The thing surprise me well well. Abi is he not the father again?

casualobserver:

You are the ones with the problems…women like you. A woman was not made to be the head of a household period. It is not misogynistic it is a fact. It does not mean oppression of women or sanctioning such. A man has a role as the leader and head of a household. When I say that that does not mean his wife is his slave or gives him any right to abuse or maltreat his wife. Don’t twist things from your narrow mindset.

A man should not emasculate himself and handover his role to his wife. Your wife can help you and in fact should help but she should not be in a position where she is the one who becomes the head of a household. It is only natural that you lose your value as man to her over time.

goody234:

Errr breastfeed you don sell your brains for saw dust ni

Kobojunkie:
Those ones no get life of their own and hustle to focus on abi?

honour7:
Let her go with the baby and marry a new wife, there is an 85 percent chance you have lost her

purples25:
■ There are situations which family should prioritize as important, and step in. It's not just weddings and burials. In this case, if there's no other option, because I don't support the mother leaving the baby at this stage. If not at this time, when will they help and show support?
■ I don't really believe the dad can take care of that tender baby. That gentleness, that instinct. This is firstly about the welfare of the baby, and an experienced grandma will do better at caring for the baby. A man can take care of an older child, but not an infant.

IkpemhiTG:
She will be going alone (A hard and tough decision i must confess) leaving the me and my 5 months old baby till when things are soft for us to join her.

I don't know how easy or how soon it will be for her to send invite for us to join her.
How's life in the UK with a single mum?

Who have passed through this situation and how did you people pull through

soccerlite:


You have left ib - just checked your profile

"If your wife actually got a paramedic job" - elucidate more

Can it be inexistent or runs, even with work permit issued

Ayofe2028:
Congratulations? How did you do it? Please help my wife with information.

fykes:


Funny lots get up and travel. The UK is the 4th country I have lived in. My family lives here, I have raised 2 kids here in London. Get off my mention with your myopic daftness

datbay:
I have left ibadan.....what I am saying is that...if the wife got a job with NHS,its better they all come in together,they will settle in faster

Kobojunkie:
1. So, a mother leaves her child with the father of the child. But, rather than the child's father prioritizing his care, he should go about his hustle and business, burdening instead his mother and sisters -- relatives-- with the child's care. Who then carries the priorities that belong to those relatives you mentioned?

2. In your view, the same men that women pine for and believe are capable of showering them with love and affection are incapable of the gentleness and instinct necessary to care for the children they birth from their loins? So if the woman is no longer in the picture, the child might as well be condemned dead because a man, according to you, is incapable of raising even his brood?

frog12:
what white guy go marry your black wife?

sheeda995:

You are the abnormal. He can take care of his baby, if he couldn't he should have remained a bachelor

fykes:


Don't mind that Oaf...folks that's never had nothing to do with parenting, coming online to advice parents because they can afford data.

caandi:
don’t mind the Buffon
It’s Nigeria I blame that puts all the responbility of a child on a woman
So men don’t have hands to carry baby and Feed them baby milk
The guy is just funny

DrYa:


Haba, why all these bad advice...
We are in UK and we are all doing well to the glory of God.
If she got job as paramedic, great one for you...

Option 1.... she goes alone, take care of the child alone in Nigeria or get a female relative to help you, then join her maybe after 6 months or so.
She has COS I assume, hence you can always apply as dependent, you will get your visa.

Option 2...go with her to UK, you may not plan to work for now, let her do her paramedic job and you take care of baby at home. Bro, the money alone as paramedic will help all of you to survive well (na only 3 na, father, mother and small baby), even with bills, you will survive, just don't overdo/overspend, don't do what is not necessarily, dont eat/buy things not needed.
Moreover, its not like nigeria where you work without stopping, here you have a max number of hours to work in a week as per government rule, if you then decide to do extra, then you get your extra pay (I am talking about sponsorship jobs, not student visa)
She is also likely to do shift work as a paramedic, hence she would still be available sometimes depending on her shift, i(so it's not that bad)
Also when she is off work, you can do your own hustle.

Do you know that as at now £1 =1450-1500 naira?
Oga, don't dull yourself o..
But always remember to pray about any step you wanna take.
Shalom

vickydevoka:

If it's on Nigeria it's easy self. For UK is not easy at all. Nobody to assist

Mindlog:


She should go ALONE, you should get your female relatives or hers to assist in childcare and you should also learn the basics of childcare because you will be 100% involved with taking care of your child here in the UK.

Then after about 6 months, arrangements to join her can start.

Arriving, she should rent a furnished room in a shared house that is bills inclusive. Alongside her sponsored job, she should get a 20hrs per week part time job as allowed with that visa and after about 4 months, she should start looking for a 2 bedroom flat in preparation for the arrival of you and the baby, getting a house for a family is not a day's job.

When you and the baby come over, you will be taking care of the baby when she is at work and you can only go to work when she is off work, this means you will work with her work rota.

Mindlog:


Let her go with the baby....is OP not the child's father and what is the big deal in a man taking care of his baby in the physical absence of the baby's mother?