₦airaland Forum

Neddyogu:
■ Read 1 Sam 18: 20-30.

What aspect of what is written in that passage applies to you or any Nigerian for that matter? What aspect of what was meant as a trap by Saul specifically applies to you?

Icrave4u:
If you marry a lady via court wedding and you didnt pay her bride price are you legally married to her.

By law, yes... But even the law recognizes tradition and respects it. You can't be considered married if you skip the traditional process of seeking permission, introduction and payment of bride price. This is the way of Africans and God acknowledges tradition

Its just a waste to me personally doing all dat. I hope others learn. Or maybe they have money to throw about. U know naija na, they love showing off.

Kobojunkie:
From this thread alone, it is apparent that many still don't realize how there lives could be and would be made a whole lot easier if they choose to register their marriages only at the courts.

Imagine doing court, then church, then traditional, when you know you won't even have money left over afterward for the actual living of life in the marriage. What is the point of all of that waste for Pete's sake?

Kobojunkie:
What aspect of what is written in that passage applies to you or any Nigerian for that matter? What aspect of what was meant as a trap by Saul specifically applies to you?

That is to tell u that the concept of paying bride price has been in existence in many cultures for many centuries. I just used that as an instance to show that properly married women are not given out for free like u would like. The fact that Saul meant it as a trap in this case is irrelevant to this discourse. Another example is the case of Jacob and his cousins,the daughters of Laban. The concept of paying bride price is as old as human civilization.

Love800:
Its just a waste to me personally doing all dat. I hope others learn. Or maybe they have money to throw about. U know naija na, they live showing off.

I think most of those who do it in this case do so out of ignorance, however.

Neddyogu:
■ That is to tell u that the concept of paying bride price has been in existence in many cultures for many centuries. I just used that as an instance to show that properly married women are not given out for free like u would like. The fact that Saul meant it as a trap in this case is irrelevant to this discourse. Another example is the case of Jacob and his cousins,the daughters of Laban. The concept of paying bride price is as old as human civilization.

Does this then mean that we cannot do away with it when we realize it has outgrown its usefulness?

Yea.
U are right too.
They should try get the real information about how tins are done.

Kobojunkie:
I think most of those who do it in this case do so out of ignorance, however.

Kobojunkie:
Does this then mean that we cannot do away with it when we realize it has outgrown its usefulness?

When ur daughter wants to get married, u can discard the custom.

Neddyogu:
■ When ur daughter wants to get married, u can discard the custom.

Which custom? TUFIAKWA!

I don't shackle myself with meaningless ideas in the name of custom. I make my own traditions and custom as I see fit and I will never shackle my kids with meaningless ideas..

Kobojunkie:
Which custom? TUFIAKWA!

I don't shackle myself with meaningless ideas in the name of custom. I make my own traditions and custom as I see fit and I will never shackle my kids with meaningless ideas..

I greet u

Neddyogu:
I greet u

Free yourself... nobody else will!

Kobojunkie:
Free yourself... nobody else will!

I am not bound.

tonicyril:
U re married to her in the face of man, but not in the face of creator...

Check all the religious book. What u will find there is that u should pay a woman dowry, no emphasis on whatever registry u choose to attend

Please quote where it was said to pay bride price in any of the religious books... Cos in india, they don't pay woman's bride price, it is groom price they pay...

immortalcrown:
I am not sure but I believe the court respects tradition and may insist on payment of bride price before conducting the court marriage. On the other hand, legality is different from tradition. What is traditional may be illegal and what is legal may be untraditional.

Laugh wan finish me

It's best you didn't respond to the post

Neddyogu:
■ I am not bound.

You admitted to being bound you wish to convince me by mere words that you aren't?

Abrahamweb:
Being legally married is second to being traditionally married boss.
Even in western culture, you have to ask the permission of her parents first.
In our culture, you have to pay bride price first simple.

In Western culture, even if the parents don't consent and the couple insist they want to be married, they will get married. Seeking the consent is just out of respect. Nobody in the West is going to ask if you got the bride's parents consent. The only thing they want to see is the marriage certificate/license.

On the African continent, we are more conservative and try to go by the traditional style of paying bride price. But if push comes to shove, we can be legally married without fulfilling bride price rites. And nothing will happen. Abi you never see girl wey go get belle purposely to force her parents hands? It's a societal norm to pay dowry. But if you and your spouse nor pay, society no go fit do una anything

Isolock:
By law, yes... But even the law recognizes tradition and respects it. You can't be considered married if you skip the traditional process of seeking permission, introduction and payment of bride price. This is the way of Africans and God acknowledges tradition

Law recognises tradition? Does it?

donvicky2007:
Court marriage is the only marriage recognized in court, but during the court marriage at the marriage registry you must provide both the groom and the bride must provide witnesses, so how can the bride parents stand as witness to the court marriage when you didn't pay her bride price and providing witnesses outside the bride's family can be troublesome if they take you to court and tell the court that you provided fake witness to the court wedding, that will be another ball game.

Lol! This has to be the most hilarious statement I've seen on this topic. Fake witness? You really don't know much about registry marriage procedure.

rockyh:
NO COURT will allow you marry if you have not fulfilled traditional marriage unless you go through the window

This is total lies! No registry in Nigeria will ask for proof of paying bride price before they wed the couple. This is not hearsay.

Kobojunkie:
1. That there is the most irritating part of it all.!

2. Were you also required to submit Letters of consent from your parents to register your marriage with the courts?

No registry in Nigeria demands those nonsense. I recently had a relative get married to a girl. Girl's mum wanted the Registry done without the girl's father's knowledge. Relative came to me as I am the oldest direct blood relative to him. I was heavily opposed as a "supposedly "traditional" person. He told me that he's just informing me out of respect. That he has already set everything required for the registry and wanted to give me the "honour" of signing as his witness. I went to "war" with him. Nothing budged. 48hrs to his registry date, I went to buy a new outfit. Then called him and told him I will sign. I couldn't bear to leave him alone to take a friend to sign as witness. Many of the loud mouths here don't know anything about Registry marriage procedures

airsaylongcome:
No registry in Nigeria demands those nonsense. I recently had a relative get married to a girl. Girl's mum wanted the Registry done without the girl's father's knowledge. Relative came to me as I am the oldest direct blood relative to him. I was heavily opposed as a "supposedly "traditional" person. He told me that he's just informing me out of respect. That he has already set everything required for the registry and wanted to give me the "honour" of signing as his witness. I went to "war" with him. Nothing budged. 48hrs to his registry date, I went to buy a new outfit. Then called him and told him I will sign. I couldn't bear to leave him alone to take a friend to sign as witness. Many of the loud mouths here don't know anything about Registry marriage procedures

Indeed!

airsaylongcome:
In Western culture, even if the parents don't consent and the couple insist they want to be married, they will get married. Seeking the consent is just out of respect. Nobody I'm the West is going to ask if you got the bride's pare rs consent. The only thing they want to see is the marriage certificate/license.

On the African continent, we are more conservative and try to go by the traditional style of paying bride price. But if push comes to shove, we can be legally married without fulfilling bride price rites. And nothing will happen. Abi you never see girl wey go get belle purposely to force her parents hands? It's a societal norm to pay dowry. But if you and your spouse not pay, society no go fit do una anything

I have seen a situation where the man refused to pay bride price, during childbirth the lady died.
Guess what,the guy has to pay heavy dowry and conducted a proper wedding celebration in order to bury the lady.
So,a responsible guy will do the needful.

tonicyril:
U re married to her in the face of man, but not in the face of creator...

Check all the religious book. What u will find there is that u should pay a woman dowry, no emphasis on whatever registry u choose to attend

You and those that applauded your message are mumu. Dowry is a cultural thing. In some places na women dey pay dowry. Whatever you see in all Holy Books are just historical and cultural things of those area. Na person like you and I write Holy books.

Abrahamweb:
I have seen a situation where the man refused to pay bride price, during childbirth the lady died.
Guess what,the guy has to pay heavy dowry and conducted a proper wedding celebration in order to bury the lady.
So,a responsible guy will do the needful.

Ever wondered what would have happened if the man had refused to pay dowry on that woman and maybe equally refused to bury the woman in the end? Would her dead body rise back from the death? Would her people not have been eventually forced to bury her?

Make una no dey let mumu of others translate into una own mumu abeg!

tonicyril:
Bro I get you, but I must tell u one thing that its easier said than done..

Now let talk about sex...do u know that it is easier for woman to abstain trom sex more than men?? Not that men are dogs, no but this is the reason.

Men are sensitive to sight, while women are sensitive to touch. When ur woman start hoarding her kpekus from you she has an advantage because she knows she can hardly get on by mere sighting, on the contrary, men can get hard unprecedentedly by just seeing a booty from a TV shows and from there konji start knocking

How long can u endure not touching here in her sexy dress while both of u are home? I know what I am saying bro...but don't worry u can't understand it now but I am sure u will understand later sir

A man once told me that the moment he noticed that his wife was cheating on him, he decided to leave the woman alone. He stayed with the woman for over 15 years without touching her, the woman couldn't bear it so she asked her husband what was wrong, the husband responded by telling her that he is aware of her immoral behavior and that has made him not to near her as he is afraid for his own life. The woman was begging for sex everything but the man instead abandoned and left the house and later sold the house while the woman was in the house.

airsaylongcome:
No registry in Nigeria demands those nonsense. I recently had a relative get married to a girl. Girl's mum wanted the Registry done without the girl's father's knowledge. Relative came to me as I am the oldest direct blood relative to him. I was heavily opposed as a "supposedly "traditional" person. He told me that he's just informing me out of respect. That he has already set everything required for the registry and wanted to give me the "honour" of signing as his witness. I went to "war" with him. Nothing budged. 48hrs to his registry date, I went to buy a new outfit. Then called him and told him I will sign. I couldn't bear to leave him alone to take a friend to sign as witness. Many of the loud mouths here don't know anything about Registry marriage procedures

You are a supposedly traditional person? You would war?

airsaylongcome:
This is total lies! No registry in Nigeria will ask for proof of paying bride price before they wed the couple. This is not hearsay.

The kind of authoritative ignorance here is stifling. The same ignorance on threads where their fathers are dead and they want to evict their mothers from her home.

airsaylongcome:
Lol! This has to be the most hilarious statement I've seen on this topic. Fake witness? You really don't know much about registry marriage procedure.

Lol. People will use fear and scare tactics, anything to keep tradition alive. Logic is never an option.

Unadulterated, authoritative ignorance.

MrDoGood:
Laugh wan finish me It's best you didn't respond to the post

Likewise your response.

Kobojunkie:
You admitted to being bound you wish to convince me by mere words that you aren't?

That our values differ means I'm bound?

Neddyogu:
■ That our values differ means I'm bound?

Values? You say that as though your traditions put food on the table or something.

For documentation purposes, court. But both marriages are recognized by the courts of Nigeria especially in probate court. If you pay any woman’s brideprice and there is proof, she is entitled to your property and can even contest a will where she’s not included. It is in probate that you will know Nigeria is a traditional society where some men have ensured their secret wives are cared for after death.

Brideprice is the biggest proof of marriage in Nigeria. It will go head to head with court when property sharing starts.