₦airaland Forum

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.


Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Here is the trick dude, amongst 5 woman keep selecting and given then hard tax ,who ever accomplished it,no delay just save up for marriage and rush marry the lady at once , after knowing her for a while, woman are too complicated o

gadgetplanetng:
Jesus Christ didn't get married

Even Almighty God no get wife.

Oga u wan go comit your self for nigerian girls i laugh you ....dem wey no no anytin bout love and commitment

Den go use u play , this mode you are is the best mode ever ....just be a player

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Here is my sincere advice to you.

1) When you see a woman, treat whatever relationship you have with her as transactional.

2) Make sure any woman you decide to date invest something tangible in your life. I don't mean sex, let her invest her money, skills and time in your life.

You see, women are loyal to their emotions. A woman does not really care about what you have done for her in the past, if you cannot help her presently, you are useless to her. This is why I said she has to invest in you and openly ask her for it the same way they ask you for money for wig, shoes and cloth. A woman is only loyal to her sacrifice. Once she knows she has sacrificed something that is not easy to come by e.g Money, she will be loyal to you.

Here is how you do it, if you have a car and you want to go for maintenance and you know it will cost you like 15k, openly tell her that your car is due for maintenance and that she should give you 15k for it (Not borrow).

So whenever she collects money from you, collect an equal amount of money from her. This is transactional relationship. So that the day she decides to leave, she will remember all that she has invested in you and that will keep her.

Don't crave for love, it will find you and when it does make sure you are getting as much as you are giving.

Shalom

Slurity:
I UNDERSTAND YOUR FEAR AND REASONS BEHIND IT, IN FACT I RECENTLY PITY GUYS GOING INTO MARRIAGE INSTEAD OF HAPPY FOR THEM, I HAVE BEEN INTO MARRIAGE FOR OVER 8 YEARS NOW AND I CAN TELL YOU FOR FREE THAT I SOMETIMES WISH I DONT MAKE THAT DECISION YET BUT COME TO THINK OF IT, GREATER UNHAPINESS AWAITS IN FUTURE IF YOU DONT MAKE UP YOUR MIND NOW, MARRIAGE MAY BE A DIFFICULT THING BUT BELIEVE ME, YOU WILL VALUE IT MORE AS YOU GET OLDER. BE STRONG AND COMMIT.

This has got to be the most contradictory post i have ever read on nairaland.
I am not surprised though,married men are always trying to get single men to join them in their misery club

duduade:
OP only you five paragraphs saying the exact same thing but using different context..

No worry you will be fine

Marriage isn't for everyone.. it's not a do or die affair...

Open your heart to true friendship 💖 and watch it lead you

I agree with u

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Stay away from the forum
Keep away from the forum

Special individual sacrificed to bring you into this world by God's design through the labour pain, raised you up to adulthood

Now it's your turn

What you need now is confidence vibes, positive vibes, relationship vibe, committment, marriage vibe

You won't get all these vibes if you keep interacting with or viewing this toxic company we have on nairaland and their poisonous comments

Hassanmaye:
You talk too much

Na small pikin dey worry that one.

I have seen many Nigerian and foreign young women breathe more fire than her.

Guess what? Life's experiences eventually humbled all of them.

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

Strart with friendships to study the ladies close to you and make you move don't start by going straight to asking for relationship and since you are no longer in uni the tendency of seeing ladies who are desperate is going to be high they will be willing to please you and deceive u that they are wife materials. Avoid girls still in school..highest go for girls done with nysc or about to finish. Or at best working class..lest b4 I forget she must av a skill or something doing.

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it [b][/b]really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

I’m facing this same prob
Especially due to the bolded Amd the fickle nature of women .

Lemme sit down IncAse any reasonable advice comes in

Offpointng:
MikeofKd looks like we're kin on this. Marriage is an eye opener and reality will come flashing at you so quick and fast and God help you if you're not ready

As for me, ion see marriage amongst my life plan but if you happen to change ur mind, going for a girl cuz she's only good is not enough, Go for woman that has something doing and can support you financially, very important.

Sometimes I use to think I'm not normal cause I don't believe in marriage at all the idea is just weird to me

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

I’m facing this same prob
Especially due to the bolded And the fickle nature of women .

Lemme sit down IncAse any reasonable advice comes in

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

You are just unnecessarily being hard on yourself. You have not met a woman you want. If and when you do, you will be committed to her without forcing it.

Miggs:
This has got to be the most contradictory post i have ever read on nairaland.
I am not surprised though,married men are always trying to get single men to join them in their misery club

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHOICE. MAKE YOURS AND MOVE

phintohlar:
I no read am o cos e too long, but i agree with you

Lazy youth 😛🤣

U already know your weakness.. Which advise you dey find again
May God help you...
If u Wan commit, commit.. If u don't feel like.... Forget am and continue being single...
Maybe when you see your mates children dey graduate from school.... U go sit up... Have a nice day... Ok. Bye

Honestly I wish I am in your shoes. The simple truth no one will tell you today is that marriage is not for everyone.

You can have your peace of mind by having your desired number of kids with one or 2 baby mamas and strictly take care of your kids needs.

If they like, they can become your friends with benefits but never commit your heart to a woman especially those ones in Nigeria of today.

Talking is a man with 10 years of marriage. If I had known what I know now 10 years ago, this would have been my sincere action.

Suit yourself though because it's never a one size fits all kind of life

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

because people complaining you now lack commitment? I fear who no fear u.
When u want to do JAMB, did u jettison idea of register because they complained of mass failure?


Let me tell u sweet truth, as at today, couples that are enjoying their Marriages are still more than those complaining, the difference is that those complaining, their lamentations are louder than others.

If I'm enjoying my Marriage, did u expect me to come on air to announce it? Only a mad do that on social media.

Meanwhile, even those that are lamenting, have you endeavour to ask them if the two play their games according to dictate of the rule of marriage?

If they fail must you fail too? Indeed you worse than infidels, and if they call mentor, I don't think ur type would be answered.

Lmfao you need to grow up

reddingtonblack:
I have not even propose, you don they claim "engaged" o ga oo !

It's nice to see you're back to default setting after the short run.


Have a nice decade. 👋🏽

You want to commit to a naija babe. Duh!

Silentgroper:
We both have the same commitment issues.. but I enjoy mine cause i know how to Keep girls without giving my heart to them ...


It's very enjoyable if you do it like i do it ...


Shiit loads of advantages if you ask me ...

U re keeping GIRLS , yet u expect commitment from any of those Girls, it's only a mad girl would give u her heart, wen she herself see numerous girls. Not until you guys start playing relationship game according to its rule.


If they ask u, u will wail, Marriage not for everybody.

Guy if I were u, I would like to live that way because women hmmmm no be persons mate ooo. Their ways are beyond ordinary, e good as u no dey committed.
Just pray to God to favour u with the one that has human sympathy or God's fearing. Women don't go there...

Hassanmaye:
You talk too much

She actually made a lot of sense. She wasn't talking too much

The OP has been reading comments of male Nairalanders that are pro in women bashing and even taking them to heart

You should learn how to sieve comments oo, social media is different from reality.

You better wean yourself from social media influences.

Slurity:
I UNDERSTAND YOUR FEAR AND REASONS BEHIND IT, IN FACT I RECENTLY PITY GUYS GOING INTO MARRIAGE INSTEAD OF HAPPY FOR THEM, I HAVE BEEN INTO MARRIAGE FOR OVER 8 YEARS NOW AND I CAN TELL YOU FOR FREE THAT I SOMETIMES WISH I DONT MAKE THAT DECISION YET BUT COME TO THINK OF IT, GREATER UNHAPINESS AWAITS IN FUTURE IF YOU DONT MAKE UP YOUR MIND NOW, MARRIAGE MAY BE A DIFFICULT THING BUT BELIEVE ME, YOU WILL VALUE IT MORE AS YOU GET OLDER. BE STRONG AND COMMIT.

For me I have been in marriage for 9 years, I have never regretted for a second, offcourse, things are not rossy, but not because of Marriage but economy situation of country.

I have said and will keep on saying it, over and over and over.

IF THE TWO COUPLES NOT ONLY LOVE THEMSELVES BUT READY TO PLAY THE GAME OF MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO ITS RULES, TWO OF YOU WOULD BE FEELING LIKE KING AND QUEEN IN UR MARRIAGE.

my ADVICE., you and ur woman should make amendments, u will surely enjoy it, meanwhile, don't mistake economy or spiritual problems for "Marriage toxicity"

They are different kettle of fish.

Magnoliaa:
It's nice to see you're back to default setting after the short run.


Have a nice decade. 👋🏽

On short run people tend to appreciate favors Maybe you did to me none or i don't see it

cinderalla toh sa lor oversize shoe la ma fii waa decade wound you there

This topic has to be a joke.
Both the original post and the comments from other males.

I don't know how you clowns have succeeded in convincing yourselves that you are victims of females.
Females are the greater recipients of domestic violence, absentee partners in marriage, infidelity in relationships, females give up their names and identities to get married, the kids they spend their whole lives raising are not even theirs; because children belong to their fathers side of the family, women are under greater pressure to tolerate bad marriages because of stigma of divorce so they stay and put up with all sorts of rubbish from their husbands.
Women are the worst sufferers of bad inlaws.
Many men don't even provide shit. They do the barest minimum and have their wives substitute for the rest and then they still don't appreciate her for it.
But somehow, males have convinced themselves that they are the victims and marriage favors women.

Let me leave this thread for you deluded creatures. Please enjoy your delusions.

CHoccolaTE:
But somehow, males have convinced themselves that they are the victims and marriage favors women.

But they will not stop rushing into it, and complaining about a lack of intimacy from women.

I honestly don't understand this thread nor its point. Stay alone and save yourself the hassle of being with a woman na. What's hard there?

MikeofKd:
Good day Nlanders, pls I need the wisest counsels of wise Nlanders. I have a problem which is lack of commitment to women, ive been this way since I left uni, and pls know that this isnt due to masturbation or any sorts, cause I havent done that thing since my teenage years.

I meet a woman today , we vibe, connect and all but i'm just damn too scared to commit any woman no matter how good she is. I'm scared that if I continue this way I may likely find it really difficult to get married.

Seeing and experiencing different complains of men in real life and on the forum as made my commitment issues with women only worse. I'm currently working, fair pay, got my own place, I'm doing quite well for myself. Ive met different women this year that were good women, but I fear if I give my heart to them they may switch up, women are too complicated naturally to cope with.

This fear of commitment is seriously holding me back from getting a serious relationship. My only fear is if I continue this way I may not get married. I need the counsels of wise nairalanders to advice me on what to do concerning this commitment issues cause it quite depressing no lies.

I form hard guy, but deep down I really be craving for a romantic relationship, I'm just too scared to give any woman my heart cause ive been hurt in past relationships . So hurt that even when I had a good woman I couldnt see it and I lost her.

Your Wise advice and counsels would be deeply appreciated thanks.

The 1st thing u need to know is u can love sm1 without giving them ur heart or atleast not all of ur heart. its safer.

2ndly u can be committed to sm1 without giving them ur heart also.

u can also be committed without loving them. Commitment is a responsibility u place on urself towards sm1 for various reasons which maybe love or respect or business or whatever.

Stop making love look like one serious thing to the point it scares u. Its not that deep. it shouldn't

I have a problem reading a long story please 🙏 if my comments is not part of what you want please 🙏 take it like that you do not have any problem just find one woman to give birth for you if she likes she will be with you and if she did not want take you child from her problem solve