₦airaland Forum

Blacklion3:
This is why men should have more than one girlfriend or wife.. Always let them know they are in a competition and can't manipulate you


Once you sense a girl start to misbehave or manipulate you, ignore her and start hunting other girls... Take pictures and post it, she will understand she can't manipulate you either with sex or emotions

Portable is that you?

pxolll:
I had the same issue with you, I can relate with almost 99.9% of everything you said, my own ex even aborted pregnancy for me, we did a lot but mehnn, I had to respect myself and let it go. I was trauma bond with her too as I went back to beg her, I was grossly embarassed that day, she and mum jointly embarassed me, while I was running and begging her, she even took another nigga call in my front, it's crazy man but I'm getting over it. Getting yourself together mate, you will be fine

Its been over 5 months I have gotten over her, just wanted to share full experience so others don't fall victim.

No matter what bro,never go back to that demon.

africandollar:
narcissist: This word done suffer for the hands of nairalanders and gen-z
In case you don't know, most ladies are covertly narcissists and it takes a certain type of male who don't give two sh*ts to curb such nonsense. Next time bro, grow some balls and be in control of your relationship.

Certainly you don't know what narcissism is. I have made a good study of that shit. Women are naturally manipulative, a narcissist is a devil, a demon, maybe you encountered a manipulative woman not a narcissist.

Phargbemmy:
I realised too late, after three 3. Yea I started seeing this after 4 years of our being together and am prepared to break loose. Yes, I will have my payback very soon and it will sweet me die

When with a covert narcissist, it takes years to realizes that you are with one.

naturefellow:
we're talking deep level human psychology here. Not some redpill stuff. Read the post again, this time carefully.

Please Bleep off

PrinceGallant:
When you feel you are above someone you are a narcist especially if the person is trying hard to get your focus.

Every narcist is also an echoist when they find what they need. That your ex would also try hard to get an interest of someone who she admires.

They discard their victim immediately they get a new supply.

Alpha males are at the top of the food chain. Omega males are at the bottom. Op is an Omega male.

LandMann:
[sup][/sup]

You're just an unfortunate simp who shouldn't have gone into a relationship.

You tried very hard to paint your ex as a demon using a word you just learnt and probably from seeing other unfortunate souls doing same after getting destroyed in a relationship.

Let me tell you, relationship, like every other event in life, is a game. If you go into a relationship as a man, your goal should be to win the game and get a mate who will follow your lead.

If you start doing mumu stuff in the name of love then you're the fool setting yourself up to fail. You're just a weakling, and your partner will spot it and detest you. If you can't hold your own and knowing that you're right then you are an unfortunate simp.

If ManCity crushes Chelsea in a match, will Chelsea start crying that ManCity is a narcissist?

You're ascribing blame to the woman and I want you to know that doing so will not take the responsibility away from you if that's your goal. You failed miserably in managing your relationship.

Go and learn how to be a principled, resourceful and responsible man. Go and make money before you think of your next relationship so that you don't end up writing another horseshit to justify your failure

When they see that they are being exposed, they rage in anger, that is a narc talking.

Artiiclebeast:
Very heartless moronns, I tell you.

They expect everyone to concur with their Bullock and the moment they realize you can't be bent, the hatred and anger towards you could be a matter of life and death.

I toy with and turn them in their own narcissistic arena.

Truly a matter of life and death, they don't care if you will die. Most people till today do not know about narcissism, they just call it bad character and manipulation.

scoops:
One key characteristics of a Narcissist is that they Love using People, be it in a relationship or work environment a Narcissist has just one goal, to use people meanwhile they tend to create that picture of them being the best person you can ever find on earth, even when you say you don't need help a narcissist will tell you they just want to help you but it's mainly so that you can feel attached, indebted and become a slave to them, being in a relationship with one can be dangerous as they would always need you to feel guilty, unfortunately if you ask what you've done wrong they really can't tell.
PS: The world shouldn't be a though place to live for anyone but over the years I've learnt that, if you're too Sweet they'll lick you Finish and if you want Peace they'll break you into Pieces; that being said there should always be a balance and Dialogue should always be a way to resolve difference hopefully the other party understands, because an Eye for an Eye might soon make everyone Blind.

You really know them very well. I just laugh at people who think narc do not exist, many do not know about narcissism, many families are filled with narc, I always see my neighbor who I think the two year old daughter is a narc, one of the parent is also a narc. I pity them.

scoops:
Uncle, please forget that lady.
She'll keep wasting your precious time, there's always going to be someone who would love and respect you, if she doesn't respect you and she can't apologize when she's wrong then I'm sorry it's not something you should stay in or expect a positive outcome from; I understand you might have truly loved her at some point but the sad truth is she's not worth your precious attention, find someone new who would truly love you regardless of what ever might be and at all times, in the end your happiness too should be a priority, if they're happy and you're not, what is the point?
Mind you, some people don't love you; they ONLY love what you can do for them.

true

You are a weak man period. Narcissist my foot

Saintinoo:
See you, better learn now before you date a male narc.

Well I'm no more at that stage.

Wow, this post is really hot and a lot of people are gradually picking offences.
There's a few people who feel it's because the person who started the thread wasn't Man Enough, but lol Narcissistic behaviors are not only in relationships alone, it happens in workplaces and even between friends thesame gender.
By default Narcissists are usually nice, very nice people I must say; but all they do is because they need you to be their slave, a narcissist will try to offer you help but if you end up finding a solution to what they're trying to help you with by yourself they get offended, a Narcissist doesn't really want you to be happy, they want you to be happy they're able to help you, a Narcissist doesn't want you to free instead the want you to be happy they're allowing you to breathe, a Narcissist wouldn't apologize if there's a problem and they did something wrong because it's actually your fault that they misbehaved, a Narcissist would tell everyone of how they're trying to help you and how many people they've helped but guess what they literally need help too and it's only you their victim or previous victims that knows that, a Narcissist would become friends with all those you love if you ever try to be free from their cage but for some reasons you're around them, and if you are not careful you might soon begin to question your sanity because they all see you as a problem but no one can see this is what you actually did wrong, Narcissists hate proofs they'll delete everything possible that can implicate them but Trust me they'll keep every possible bit that can make you feel less of a human so far it makes them feel like your messiah.
Gaslighting is a trait peculiar to Narcissists.
...there's so much on this topic but the bottom line is we all need to love ourselves well enough so we don't become the vulnerable one that should be exploited, and making money too is important because in today's world you'll need it to be independent and less vulnerable to the wolves we now have around us.

Saintinoo:
Its been over 5 months I have gotten over her, just wanted to share full experience so others don't fall victim.

No matter what bro,never go back to that demon.

yeah man

Dexy4yah:
I don't wish even my worst enemy to date a narcissist.

They will always want to control you and they keep milking you emotionally.

They are the worst people to date or marry

Not only dating. Having those kind of people as friends is draining.. very draining 😞.

Ebubu:
I have some few questions

1. Do they spot a guy and say “I want to trauma bond this guy”, “let me trauma bond this man”. Or it’s just an unintentional outcome of power play in a relationship ? Was it original or thought-out from the start?

2. I think I’m a victim. I prefer to grow in a relationship with gradual increase in affection, but she preferred I show it massively hot from the start, according to her, na beginning of relationship love suppose dey sweet pass, na beginning of marriage marriage dey sweet pass. Me i believe in wine getting better as it ages. In the first few months of the start, I was just basic in my love approach while she calls me 7 times in a day, comes to see me at break or any free lunchtime, video calls me at night, et cetera.

When I discovered how disrespectful she was to some of my friends and when she retorted to what my sister said about a particular girl this ex says looked like her (my sister), my sister said this girl I said looks like her is not fine. I informed my ex what my sister said about the girl she said looked like my sister, and my ex answered “who tell am say she fine”.

Immediately I lost respect for her, also when she said if we get married her mother in law, (my mon), can’t be coming to the kitchen anyhow. I think I quite agree but it just sounded off to me considering i preferred someone who is communally inclined in her living.

I started telling her she should just boycott all marriage plans that nobody knows God’s plans. Soon after that, her whole affection from me took a nose-dive down. Less calls, intimate chats, time, etc from her.

She also started to chat more with other guys, to her I’ve permitted her to entertain other guys since there’s no security this would lead to marriage.

Note I was watching her reaction to keeping the marriage open, if she’d still be committed (then I’ll re-initiate it), if she acts otherwise, I will know her true colour.

A year later she got talking too deeply with one senior colleague like that. I warned her they communicate too much, she won’t say anything, it got point that she started changing what she used to save the guy’s name on her phone so I will stop checking her. She started to lie about her whereabouts so she’ll have time video-calling the guy. They practically video call 4x in a day.

Eventually I broke off the relationship. She started dating the guy.

The guy showed her shege cos I was still assisting her financially (situationship), though I got sex in exchange. The guy didn’t financially take care of her. I was even buying her pad, etc. in that period I kept begging her to come back to me she would refuse and say it would seem like she is selfish.

Eventually her relationship with the guy hit the rocks one year later. But she did something that made me block her in the meantime, she slept with a single father for whatever reason, she informed me by herself. I was not in town. I got so furious I blocked her. By time I got back to town she had left that guy she left me for and started dating one tech guy who is really doing well financially and taking care of her.

She never begged me for forgiveness for sleeping out with single father cos she felt she had no sexual obligation to me since I wasn’t the boyfriend or husband? or dumping me for another man? She would even be posting love enticing thing about she and the guy she left me for on her status knowing well I would see it.

Earlier on this year around January I asked her if the guy who dumped her came around, would she accept again? She said yes if she still loves him then. This is a girl that didn’t want to consider returning to me same month she broke up. Maybe because she was the one who left, and this time she is the one who was dumped.

This tech guy she’s dating now is taking care of her and started her a sewing business so she won’t be dependent on guys. She’s doing much better.

But still chats me up from blue moon about most mundane things like “what is the colour of the sky?”

“How many pages is final year defence book?” Most irrational things. Don’t know if she wants to keep talking to me, but don’t want us to date?

I rarely post my romantic life on social media but the day I posted loving emoji on status she rushed and posted video of her man and she love cuddling/hugging.


PS: her father is late and her mother struggles a lot, owed several months salary as a primary school teacher in Benue state.

But when I had not cancelled the marriage plans: she was the most romantic woman.

I am not with you there, but for the fact that you went back to apologize after she left you and also how she love bombed you at the start of the relationship, and off course, the fact that she doesn't apologize make her more of a narc. I will advice you to watch the relationship very well.

And yes, you were trauma bond to her, she have groomed you to get attached to her so well, imagine in all you typed, you never said where you looked at other girls or tried to cheat.

If you are still together, I will advice you to join a narcissist victim community online, and seek therapy, you will know if she is a narc, but I sincerely think she is a narc.

bigcee:
One bill me but I didn't give her kobo. She took another nigga call in my presence and put it on loud speaker. Very immature people.

guy na to run away from these demons o

Tymk:
this english don suffer for naija hand

During the cause of the abuse, I join a narcissist victim community for over two years, seemed therapy, I know narcissism more than you do. Now I just have to stay with you for a day to unmask a narc.

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

Her eyes goes dark when she is angry? please explain this place, is it all dark until the white disappear or what do you mean?

Saintinoo:
I doubt if your wife is a narc, narcissism is not taught, they are born with it. And if she is a narc, the only way to change her is through therapy.

nah
She’s a proper one and an American for that
The cure for narcissistic people is don’t let your emotional guard down cause the moment you do
It a good bye thing

Saintinoo:
I never knew that I will one day write about this, because, of all the advice I have been given, I taught it was love in the air.

Some months ago, I created a thread about how I can't get over my girlfriend and another thread where I confirmed that she was a narcissist. But now, I have not only confirmed that I dated a covert narcissist for four solid years, but I have come to learn a lot about narcissism and how to unmask them. Sadly, we have more narcissist both male and female going into serious relationships.
White you are thinking about the problems in your relationship, the fights everyday, the mental abuse etc, you might just be in a relationship with a narcissist and that is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

HOW DO NARCISSISTS GET THEIR VICTIMS.

Be it male or female narcissist, they hunt for their victims same way. A narcissist targets an empath, they target people who have something they do not have, learn empathy from you just to use it against you.

They portray themselves as the best thing that can happen to you after egusi soup. Yes, my narc ex portrayed those traits, that wife material characteristics, godly and prayerful, dress decent and act same. Do not be deceived, they know that is what you want in a woman so they give it to you for the while.

They will always talk about forever with you, bring so many fairly tails and give you the soul mate feeling, this you will believe you have found a wife or a husband, then you start making marriage's preparation. They have successfully made you commit. Mine always use this word "forever is the goal". All these is to make you commit and when you have committed, they start the abuse stage.

The narcissist common aim, be it male or female is to get you trauma bonded to them. Trauma bond is a situation when you excuse abuse from someone, go back to your abuser because you are afraid to lose them. I cannot count the number of times I went back to apologize for doing nothing, that is trauma bond working for her.

The narcissist will never apologize for their wrong at the later part of the relationship, they will do wrong, and expect you to take it, when you try to speak up, they give you the silent treatment as a punishment. Yea,because they have groomed their victims so much through the various love bombing stages. I was given silent treatment every time, and yes,after going a week of waiting to see if she will apologize for her wrong, I end up saying sorry. I was groomed during the earlier days to not do without her.

The narcissist will love bomb you at the early stage of your relationship, this is not genuine love,it is a tactics to get you used to them and whenever you try to leave and think of the past memories, you will have no choice than to run back to them until they are ready to discard you. In my case,she calls every day to check on me, would spend over an hour with me on phone, gave me pet names and showed the world that she truly loved me. Those were all lies.

WHAT WENT WRONG BETWEEN I AND MY NARC EX.

For me, i thought she was the last bus stop, in fact I had been planning how our wedding even though I had limited funds at that time, I was ready to go against anybody just to wed my soulmate. But then, this problem keep coming. I felt someone was trying to control me, someone was doing wrong and do not apologize. We kept fighting almost every week, and yes, I kept apologising.

Early this year, I called her to discuss marriage plan, she disagreed with everything and went completely mute, I called the next day to resolve and ask for her opinion, she still went mute, the silent treatment increased. I vowed I am done and will not contact her again, went no contact. After two month, I saw her pic somewhere, and since I was trauma bonded to her and didn't heal completely, I went back begging her for over a week. That is was being trauma bond to a narcissist does, it completely makes you their slave.

During the cause of the discard from my narc ex, she knew that I have been trauma bonded to her and the sight of her pic will bring back memories, she used what is called " flying monkeys " to make me see her pics and believe that I will keep rushing back to beg her, because she enjoy all the abuse.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU DATING A NARCISSIST; if you do any of those thing I did, you are dating a narcissist.

1. I beg for her attention when she gives silent treatment.
2. I felt like she is just the one.
3. I do not look at any other lady not even a friendly look because all my attention was around her.
4. Her eyes goes dark when she is angry.
5. She shouts and insults to any extent when angry.
6. When she wrongs me and I refuse to call and apologize for reacting, maybe for 5 days or a week, she rages in anger.
7. She belittles me when she is angry, this is a common trait with a narc, male or female.
8. From her story, during our love days, and from my findings her dad is a narc. Pls try and know your lover parent, narc is hereditary.


Did I talk about how I later confirm that my Darling angel was a terrible covert narcissist.

Early this year, I had a neighbor whose 2 years old daughter exhibited the same traits my ex exhibited, the anger, the manipulation, the gaslighing, everything.

Finally, narcissists are demonic, look for these red flags in your relationship and end the relationship the minute you confirm that you date is a narc, there is no changing them, I tried and got hurt. The narc know what he/she is doing.

Narcissism is hereditary and they are born that way, they keep getting worse by the day, so best is to avoid them.

Drops pen.

All i can say is You Be Mumuu.

Artiiclebeast:
Very heartless moronns, I tell you.

They expect everyone to concur with their Bullock and the moment they realize you can't be bent, the hatred and anger towards you could be a matter of life and death.

I toy with and turn them in their own narcissistic arena.

The bolded is so true, this happened to me with an ex, I refused to be bent to accept the ideology that men don't cheat, that it is mandatory for men to have multiple women which is normal and not cheating, this guy will do everything to get me back, then intentionally let me know that he has other women, a man in his late 30s o, the last time he did that again and I left for good, he couldn't believe it, he did everything, much more than he has ever done before to get me back, but I didn't budge, I was permanently done, the next thing this dude did was to badmouth and paint me bad to anybody that cares to listen, he thought that will make me talk to him when I heard, but I couldn't be bothered, he even cursed me at some point lol, fear narcissists, they can kill.

naturefellow:
we're talking deep level human psychology here. Not some redpill stuff. Read the post again, this time carefully.

Most of them are ignorant of narcissism, I too was, until I encountered one.

The problem here isn't narcissism.

You love the babe more than she loves you. That's what happened.

Saintinoo:
I doubt if your wife is a narc, narcissism is not taught, they are born with it. And if she is a narc, the only way to change her is through therapy.

I was with one for 11 years.

Very manipulative. They hate losing. The moment they feel they are losing you, they scheme their way back into your life NOT BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU but just to see if you are still spell bound.

Mark my word, she is not done with you... I became free from her after I left the country yet she still tried her best but no way.

Anyone who has no idea of who a narccisist is will never understand.

Narccisists are demons in human flesh.

How can a human being find it extremely hard to say SORRY?

Ebubu:
I have some few questions

1. Do they spot a guy and say “I want to trauma bond this guy”, “let me trauma bond this man”. Or it’s just an unintentional outcome of power play in a relationship ? Was it original or thought-out from the start?

2. I think I’m a victim. I prefer to grow in a relationship with gradual increase in affection, but she preferred I show it massively hot from the start according to her, na beginning of relationship love suppose dey sweet pass, na beginning of marriage marriage dey sweet pass. Me i believe in wine getting better as it ages. In the first few months of the start, I was just basic in my love approach while she calls me 7 times in a day, comes to see me at break or any free lunchtime, video calls me at night, et cetera.

#1. Trauma-bonding or conditioning
#2. Love-bombing

Textbook traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)

Fountainofyouth:
That means you are also a narcissist because only narcissists do this, and only foolish girls stay with guys like that

Ladies know your worth and do not allow men belittle and degrade you, when you know he has other women, be gone.

You are the naccisist here. Having multiple wives is African.

SenecaTheYonger:
Please Bleep off

ignoramus

Saintinoo:
I am not with you there, but for the fact that you went back to apologize after she left you and also how she love bombed you at the start of the relationship, and off course, the fact that she doesn't apologize make her more of a narc. I will advice you to watch the relationship very well.

And yes, you were trauma bond to her, she have groomed you to get attached to her so well, imagine in all you typed, you never said where you looked at other girls or tried to cheat.

If you are still together, I will advice you to join a narcissist victim community online, and seek therapy, you will know if she is a narc, but I sincerely think she is a narc.

She is a full blooded narccisist.

I was with one for 11 years so I know their traits.

Kazim88:
What's happening to Nairaland today....

Off topics through out.

-I called my ex...
-I ask my wife for open relationship.

Ex this, ex that....

Don't you people have anything better to offer.

This topic is for elders continue playing your video game

Fountainofyouth:
That means you are also a narcissist because only narcissists do this, and only foolish girls stay with guys like that

Ladies know your worth and do not allow men belittle and degrade you, when you know he has other women, be gone.

STOP giving unfounded definitions.

Polygamy has nothing to do with narcism.