₦airaland Forum

FreeIgboho:
She doesn’t! She’s a WISE, LIBERATED girl. Suffering has made her wise. She’s LIBERATED, which is very hard to attain!

Onyiiobi7735:
But how the man who raped Sarah managed to escape justice is what I don't get.
But one thing is certain if he escaped human justice, he couldn't escape Divine Justice.

tunjijones:
Yea good story with happy ending.

Most story don't end up like this.

Sarah wld most likely be a prostitute with like 4 children from 3 fathers living in a dingy in PH and David wld probably be a street guy who sells weed to survive roaming around the street or a kidnapper in rumokoro.

nairalanda1:
Reminds me of one similar story that i won't go into details, about a man my parents knew.

Suffice it to know, that when the man died, and someone called my parents and informed them....see when my parents hear someone they know is dead, they would at the very least feel sad and say some good things...but for this man, (You can guess..lol).

Someone whose wife and children suffered at his hand well well.

tete7000:
If I didn't read the story, I wouldnt comment. About the urge to blame, I wouldn't understand what you meant. What I know is that in life our choices shape our future, and when we make bad choices, we should always be humble enough to take responsibility. There are millions, if not billions of men in this world, and a good proportion of those are responsible too. When people marry bad, they ought to reflect and take some responsibility, they need to take a chunk of the blame and use the lesson learnt to advice the young ones to be wise in making their own choices. In as much as the man is bad, the woman too equally made a bad choice and her choice left her children with trauma. The children rather than allow resentment consume them should learn from the bad choice their mother made, and use that as a yardstick to prevent themselves falling into the same trap. The truth is that there will always be bad people, intact there are plenty of them, ours is to be good and be circumspect in choosing who we roll with. If we choose badly, we and our children will leave with the consequences. Just like Nigerians are living with the consequences of the bad choice of 2016 which has spilled into 2023.

Checkwell:
Show your dad some love, no matter what. Bringing personal matters online doesn't really make sense. Truth is, nobody get your time.

Haakeem:
be like say something dey worry you.

erniok:
I fail to see how the woman is to be blamed.

Bad choices by marrying the man? The setting must have been in either the 70s or 80s when the economy was still good and as a federal civil servant, the man was well placed so what could have made him abandon his wife he paid a bride price for, children she borne for him and decide to marry another wife abandoning his first family.

Like you said, actions have consequences, he has made his bed, let him lie on it. David may find it hard to forgive especially when he literally abandoned him at markudi.

erniok:
Bro, small children full nairaland.

erniok:
I fail to see how the woman is to be blamed.

Bad choices by marrying the man? The setting must have been in either the 70s or 80s when the economy was still good and as a federal civil servant, the man was well placed so what could have made him abandon his wife he paid a bride price for, children she borne for him and decide to marry another wife abandoning his first family.

Like you said, actions have consequences, he has made his bed, let him lie on it. David may find it hard to forgive especially when he literally abandoned him at markudi.

LadyRosa2:
Hmm...Well, I dont think she is entirely liberated in the real sense, deep down she wish to settle. But the past keep reminding her not to.

LadyRosa2:
As the topic implies, this is a true life story.

Although my knowledge of this family started around when I was 19 years old.

I will call this friend of mine Sarah, the first child and daughter of her father. This true life story appears sad, and in my quiet times, especially recently, I'm beginning to feel sympathetic to both sides of the coin.

A few days ago, around 6 am, Sarah called me, and our conversation went like this;

Me: Babe, how far, this one you dey call by this time?
Sarah:I'm going to drop my papa at the park.
Me: for what na? Person wey just enter town yesterday? You for allow the man rest small...

Sarah: no be for my house, I don drop am, pay him transport, and still give am 5k to hold the body for the road.

Me: Babe, I dont support this one, in less than 24 hours your dad dey the Road for like 12 hours.

Sarah: That one no concern me, no be me invite am come.

A day earlier her father had called her from their previous location, he must have gotten there only to find out his 'ex-wife' had moved out. He decided to call Sarah, and she picked up, accommodated him for the night and bundled him back to the next available bus to Makurdi.

Truth be told, the ex-wife no longer lived in the slum he visited. She is now in a duplex, paid for by his first son. Let's call him David. David is in Europe and through one of my kinsmen, had secured a 3-bedroom duplex for his mom. His father is not aware of this.

Those children suffered men!

Big Mama, Sarah's mom was abandoned by her husband when Sarah was just 12 years old. The same year, Sarah was brutally raped by a neighbour because of 20 naira, while her mother was bedridden in the hospital after child evacuation. The father left while she was pregnant with the 5th child. Sarah would hawk all manner of foodstuffs to put food on the table. When she doesn't sell, she sells her body for peanuts to buy pepper and oil to make even the cheapest dried akro soup.

Her father had remarried and stopped caring about their welfare, a federal government worker in a good money-spinning ministry. He got transferred to another state and started a new life.

When I knew Sarah, she already had a child, a small saloon and four more mouths to feed. She would work in the morning and at night she would visit lounges. Life was hard, and so cigarettes and drinks became her god.Sarah till date is a chimney and she does so even in the presence of my husband, he no longer minds.

One cold night a couple of years ago, after we shared drinks at my place. She narrated how she and her siblings suffered.

" Sis, say my brother travel abroad, no be my power,na say God don look us say we don too suffer. David go gather wound for his body, from one Lebanese and Indian company to another, na so machine go dey cut cut his body. So so blue ink full him body"

I watched with tears how she broke down completely, spilling her wine all over my tiles.

"Sis, na 20 naira e take to lose my virginity, 20 naira!"

", My father...Wetin' we do am?!"

Two years ago and some months , she got a huge break. She called me to follow her to Transcorp Hilton and made me promise that I 'behave' myself.

We met this man, well groomed. We were half into the conversation when she looked at me with a forced smile, and said to me
" Sis, this is the man that raped me"

The spring rolls in my mouth turned into vinegar, my heart began to pound, and I could only see everyone but the man blurry. I eventually kept my cool but was silent the whole evening even as the man apologised profusely. My baby was beginning to cry, and I took the opportunity to leave their table because I was feeling sick and nauseated.

In less than 6 months after that encounter, he had secured a bigger and well-equipped saloon for her and had given her enough to travel out to buy hair.

Let's talk about David. David suffered oooo. I remembered one time I was going through her old pics and saw a younger version of David, sickly with his tummy protruded.

" My sister, na poison. My father come one day,, carry am go makurdi, na so person call my mother say make she come do carry her pikin before them kill am.My mother enters Moto, and as she stops for Keffi, she stand for Road dey beg for Moto wey go carry her reach makurdi, no money na. We carry am waka from one church to another before God just save that boy. "

I looked at the picture again and gently dropped it, still overwhelmed with internal grief. The first time I saw David in person after he graduated from the University ( he sponsored himself with the help of his sisters), I asked in bewilderment,

" So na this boy your father abandoned?"

Standing before me was a young man, fair, built and with a height I reckoned would be above 6. In inches. No wonder white women couldn't get off him as soon as he landed in Europe. He got married to one and life in that family changed in a flash. I enjoyed it for I got a cut from my father's kinsman when he bought a property.

Their father is no longer with the second wife, as she left him after three kids. He married a third and is now a retired pensioner.

Last night, while shopping together, Sarah was laughing and I asked, " Babe why you dey laugh"?

" When my father comes to my house, him dey ask me why I leave one bedroom go enter 3 bedrooms with my son. I tell am palee, this house no be rent o, na my house be this o."

" So wetin' him come talk?" I inquired.

"Wetin' him one talk again? Shebi waist pain wey my mama dey go through na say he left her when she was in her twenties. The woman has not seen Preek 4ck till today, because she carries church for the head. Woman wey him marry when she dey 17 years."

I choose to use the word ex-wife, but they never really divorced because the bride price paid is still binding. The fact that this woman who has suffered so much will soon be a mother-in-law to a German BMW Engineer in a few days is overwhelming. I wasn't surprised their last girl will end well, she's always looking like something out of foreign red carpets all the time. Like David, she is tall slim, surprisingly Conservative and intelligent.

Palee will be coming again to grace the marriage of one of the daughters he abandoned. Can't imagine his regret when he sleeps in a well-furnished duplex, away from the slum where he abandoned his children and wife many years ago, only to find out the first son from his loins bought that for his mother.

E go to pain am.

But one thing is certain or I think I noticed, David and Sarah still bear the hurt. The other kids have moved on, and don't mind being in their father's life.

Haakeem:
na you dey behave like small picken.
Check am out.

tete7000:
Thr man will equally pay for the bad choices he made, that is for sure. The children if they choose wrongly too will pay for it someday and it won't matter why or who made them made their bad choices.
When it is said that an action is wrong, it is not the action that is wrong in itself but the bad end result that accompanies it akes it wrong.

ORIAYO70:
■ Tell Sarah to let go so God too can forgive her, I experience such too, I just have to let slide, though other siblings did not.

Didi2d:
I and my wife just finished quarreling before I opened this thread and I must say being old In Nigeria as a man is kind of scary.

Now, I had to call my daughter to be present before I before my confronted my wife. Cos through her action and words she believe if we get separated it will be my lose, cos she believe she will win the children's favor.

Now, this is a woman that will never accept her fault no matter how big or small the issue is.
I send her Whatshapp msg twice today and she didn't read nor reply the msg, this someone that's always on tiktok and always with her phone. I decided not to call till I get home, only for me to meet her probably on tiktok and I got angry, that's when I called my daughter to the seating room and guess what she got angry telling me she didn't see my msg and she wanted to deny but I reminded her that she was with her phone when I sent the first msg, cos I was home then.

If or when I eventually leave the house, what will be my fate in the future?

LadyRosa2:
Few eat their cake and have it.
But so many eventually regrets especially at old age.

Didi2d:
■ I and my wife just finished quarreling before I opened this thread and I must say being old In Nigeria as a man is kind of scary. Now, I had to call my daughter to be present before I before my confronted my wife. Cos through her action and words she believe if we get separated it will be my lose, cos she believe she will win the children's favor. Now, this is a woman that will never accept her fault no matter how big or small the issue is.
■ I send her Whatshapp msg twice today and she didn't read nor reply the msg, this someone that's always on tiktok and always with her phone. I decided not to call till I get home, only for me to meet her probably on tiktok and I got angry, that's when I called my daughter to the seating room and guess what she got angry telling me she didn't see my msg and she wanted to deny but I reminded her that she was with her phone when I sent the first msg, cos I was home then. If or when I eventually leave the house, what will be my fate in the future?

Fiscus105:
*Baba n dagbe at 70* ( 70 years papa going up and down, grounding pepper, wash dish, wash cloth with his spine not able to straight again)

70 years old woman can still effectively does that at 70.

Meanwhile, I haven't seen any female boasting, she doesn't need HUSBANDS but KIDS here , unlike several despair male urchins here.

Phargbemmy:
■ Having same issue mine has even gone to being denied sex at age 45
■ and just getting better from st7roke which was majorly caused by the stress at home. Mine is a Narcissist! My first is 13 and last is 8 am leaving for good but will never abandon my children

safarifarms:
You are a good story teller. You should consider writing fictional stories. I believe you'll do well.

Phargbemmy:
■ Baba when you get to that age, you will realise that most men are abandoned with the pretense of the wife having to help her children take care on grandchild or the other. I hope you bookmark this

LadyRosa2:
As the topic implies, this is a true life story.

Although my knowledge of this family started around when I was 19 years old.

I will call this friend of mine Sarah, the first child and daughter of her father. This true life story appears sad, and in my quiet times, especially recently, I'm beginning to feel sympathetic to both sides of the coin.

A few days ago, around 6 am, Sarah called me, and our conversation went like this;

Me: Babe, how far, this one you dey call by this time?
Sarah:I'm going to drop my papa at the park.
Me: for what na? Person wey just enter town yesterday? You for allow the man rest small...

Sarah: no be for my house, I don drop am, pay him transport, and still give am 5k to hold the body for the road.

Me: Babe, I dont support this one, in less than 24 hours your dad dey the Road for like 12 hours.

Sarah: That one no concern me, no be me invite am come.

A day earlier her father had called her from their previous location, he must have gotten there only to find out his 'ex-wife' had moved out. He decided to call Sarah, and she picked up, accommodated him for the night and bundled him back to the next available bus to Makurdi.

Truth be told, the ex-wife no longer lived in the slum he visited. She is now in a duplex, paid for by his first son. Let's call him David. David is in Europe and through one of my kinsmen, had secured a 3-bedroom duplex for his mom. His father is not aware of this.

Those children suffered men!

Big Mama, Sarah's mom was abandoned by her husband when Sarah was just 12 years old. The same year, Sarah was brutally raped by a neighbour because of 20 naira, while her mother was bedridden in the hospital after child evacuation. The father left while she was pregnant with the 5th child. Sarah would hawk all manner of foodstuffs to put food on the table. When she doesn't sell, she sells her body for peanuts to buy pepper and oil to make even the cheapest dried akro soup.

Her father had remarried and stopped caring about their welfare, a federal government worker in a good money-spinning ministry. He got transferred to another state and started a new life.

When I knew Sarah, she already had a child, a small saloon and four more mouths to feed. She would work in the morning and at night she would visit lounges. Life was hard, and so cigarettes and drinks became her god.Sarah till date is a chimney and she does so even in the presence of my husband, he no longer minds.

One cold night a couple of years ago, after we shared drinks at my place. She narrated how she and her siblings suffered.

" Sis, say my brother travel abroad, no be my power,na say God don look us say we don too suffer. David go gather wound for his body, from one Lebanese and Indian company to another, na so machine go dey cut cut his body. So so blue ink full him body"

I watched with tears how she broke down completely, spilling her wine all over my tiles.

"Sis, na 20 naira e take to lose my virginity, 20 naira!"

", My father...Wetin' we do am?!"

Two years ago and some months , she got a huge break. She called me to follow her to Transcorp Hilton and made me promise that I 'behave' myself.

We met this man, well groomed. We were half into the conversation when she looked at me with a forced smile, and said to me
" Sis, this is the man that raped me"

The spring rolls in my mouth turned into vinegar, my heart began to pound, and I could only see everyone but the man blurry. I eventually kept my cool but was silent the whole evening even as the man apologised profusely. My baby was beginning to cry, and I took the opportunity to leave their table because I was feeling sick and nauseated.

In less than 6 months after that encounter, he had secured a bigger and well-equipped saloon for her and had given her enough to travel out to buy hair.

Let's talk about David. David suffered oooo. I remembered one time I was going through her old pics and saw a younger version of David, sickly with his tummy protruded.

" My sister, na poison. My father come one day,, carry am go makurdi, na so person call my mother say make she come do carry her pikin before them kill am.My mother enters Moto, and as she stops for Keffi, she stand for Road dey beg for Moto wey go carry her reach makurdi, no money na. We carry am waka from one church to another before God just save that boy. "

I looked at the picture again and gently dropped it, still overwhelmed with internal grief. The first time I saw David in person after he graduated from the University ( he sponsored himself with the help of his sisters), I asked in bewilderment,

" So na this boy your father abandoned?"

Standing before me was a young man, fair, built and with a height I reckoned would be above 6. In inches. No wonder white women couldn't get off him as soon as he landed in Europe. He got married to one and life in that family changed in a flash. I enjoyed it for I got a cut from my father's kinsman when he bought a property.

Their father is no longer with the second wife, as she left him after three kids. He married a third and is now a retired pensioner.

Last night, while shopping together, Sarah was laughing and I asked, " Babe why you dey laugh"?

" When my father comes to my house, him dey ask me why I leave one bedroom go enter 3 bedrooms with my son. I tell am palee, this house no be rent o, na my house be this o."

" So wetin' him come talk?" I inquired.

"Wetin' him one talk again? Shebi waist pain wey my mama dey go through na say he left her when she was in her twenties. The woman has not seen Preek 4ck till today, because she carries church for the head. Woman wey him marry when she dey 17 years."

I choose to use the word ex-wife, but they never really divorced because the bride price paid is still binding. The fact that this woman who has suffered so much will soon be a mother-in-law to a German BMW Engineer in a few days is overwhelming. I wasn't surprised their last girl will end well, she's always looking like something out of foreign red carpets all the time. Like David, she is tall slim, surprisingly Conservative and intelligent.

Palee will be coming again to grace the marriage of one of the daughters he abandoned. Can't imagine his regret when he sleeps in a well-furnished duplex, away from the slum where he abandoned his children and wife many years ago, only to find out the first son from his loins bought that for his mother.

E go to pain am.

But one thing is certain or I think I noticed, David and Sarah still bear the hurt. The other kids have moved on, and don't mind being in their father's life.

Kobojunkie:
Let what slide? Are you kidding?

And stop dragging God's mention into these silly things you folks do to yourselves!

ORIAYO70:
■ Is either u r a kid or u just want to act this way, I just said I grew up in such situations,
■ how will u feel that ur dad is a Principal of a school in Lagos State n failed to send none of his children to University, he told us from Ss1 that he's tired.... Note we did not go to private is public school... I pick up charge of my life from ss2 to master degree level, now on stroke, he lives with me, the kind of pains he caused mysf n sibling from childhood, he's not worthy of our water, Do d little u can do for him n receive ur blessings shikena talking from experience

Coivdgiveaway:
There is no dad beat Dad, he just didn't have enough capacity to provide.
Deep down, he is sad he isn't able to provide the best for his seeds

Life isn't as easy as you think it is

DrFunmisticGlow:
Yinmu