Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank account na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male users and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

Are you a lady?

Eriokanmi:
I can't believe this coming from a female. A woman can ask her man for anything, not because she can't afford it. She just wants that from her man. She didn't ask for a car, expensive clothing...but a bag of rice which her man can easily afford. If she's desperately in need of a bag of rice for her mum, she'd gladly buy it without involving her husband. He may not even notice anything. Women save money for anything they're committed to doing, even if it takes a year to raise that money.

There was a time my wife asked me to buy yam tubers for her parents, not because she couldn't afford them. She can always ask one of her siblings to drop the tubers at her parents' place without me knowing. I bought those tubers. On my birthday, what she bought for me was worth 100 times more than the cost of the yam tubers

You guys should quit talking rubbish. He has his own family that's his immediately responsibility and the wife's family is not his responsibility. What stupid in-laws are you guys talking about? Wtf is in laws?

LikeAking:
Stingy man!

If she is the type of woman wey they try, buy for her. But I’d she is the sturborn type dont buy anything for her.

Is it your money? Somebody else will make money and another will want to tell him how to spend it. If he refuse he is termed stingy.

Only beggers know who is stingy , if you are don't beg you will never know

Allow others make their life decisions for themselves, if them no want give let them be you didn't struggle with them.

The interesting thing is that the moment people shout stingy stingy and you yield to them, same people will never look your way when you fall.

It is good that you're putting money aside for the baby.

That said, your wife is carrying the baby and if she has pleaded with you to buy rice for her mum, you should consider doing it for your wife.

A good compromise will be to give your mother-in-law N30k cash in envelope or transfer instead of buying N60k bag of rice.

Another 30k to your mum too will bring everything to N60k.

Although that will go against your plan, it will please your wife and buy you peace.

If I marry and my wife asks me to buy something for her mother if she knows I'm not financially Buoyant at that moment, I'll divorce her

Nonsense talk

No wonder you are offpointing 😅😅

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

See this man saying whooping sum.

OP , abeg use like 20k, not 100K

Make your wife complete the rest

2024 is Repentant... Dominique and Klass99 just make me dey see 2024 with hope.

MatrixReloaded:
My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

Why you go give your mother in law 10kg of rice?
Is she allergic to 50 kg, oga you no follow at all.

Stephench:


You guys should quit talking rubbish. He has his own family that's his immediately responsibility and the wife's family is not his responsibility. What stupid in-laws are you guys talking about? Wtf is in laws?

What's is this one saying? Some family issues aren't worth discussing in a public domain. Kids would always spill trash to derail the discussion.

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

His mother in-law or his mother, if he can exclude his mother then the mother in law should never be an exception unless the OP has low cognitive abilities.

That money isn't whooping, OP do what suits your financial plans. The wife can do the buying for her mother.

DeLaRue:
It is good that you're putting money aside for the baby.

That said, your wife is carrying that baby and if she has pleaded with you to buy rice for her mum, you should consider doing it for your wife.

A good compromise will be to give your mother-in-law N30k cash in envelope or transfer instead of buying N60k bag of rice.

Another 30k to your mum too will bring everything to N60k.

Tomorrow, you people will complain about how children abandon their fathers.

Give 30k to this mom, another 30k to the other mother. What about the father, Mister?

You people (men especially) should continue.

Stephench:
If I marry and my wife asks me to buy something for her mother if she knows I'm not financially Buoyant at that moment, I'll divorce her

Haba, divorce just like that

cyrusmillz:
I don't understand these kind of men on this forum . Always complaining.... I thought you guys are supposed to be the head of the family ni.

Yes..he's head of his own family...not head of another family's family. His own family's need nah hin priority!!

Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank account na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male users and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

if what u said above is d real truth...from ur heart.... congratulations then....ur home will b blessed

You are not human and you are too selfish for that reason...it is because you had decided in your mind not to buy anything for your own blood mother is the reason why you are insisting not to buy for your mother in-law.
Baby that hasn't come.
The baby will come very sound and healthy...amen! But this isn't enough reason why you will not buy for your both mothers, if it is just 25kg for each every of them...it is joy of Christmas. And 400k is more than an enough saving for the new coming baby..though depend on how you cut your cloth.
Congratulations for the coming of your new baby.

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Stamp your fit and stand by your decision. Naso one idiot wanted me to put her mom on monthly salary. I dodge bullet

Nothing my man

Zonefree:


A wife that can't afford one bag of rice for her mother is a BIG liability to her husband.

- A man will kneel and beg a woman to marry him.

- Same man will pay bride price

- Same man will organize and foot the weeding bills.

- Same man will pay for hospital bills

- Same man will also take care of the wife's family

All just for procreation?

Wetin man dey gain for marriage

Acidosis:



See what this vendor is offering for 290k (promo price o) with just few clothes. No food, bed, or brea$t pump, etc. These are basic/essential items according to the vendor, but of course, I know it's possible to improvise.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C04RWowo3Ra/?igsh=M3F4aG83OGg5YzF0

Things are very expensive. I spent about 150k in 2021 being a first time mum.
You're right, with inflation it can get up to that and more.
No baby drawer, bathtub......among what she's offering o.

Why most you carry your family come social media,the time you fk am you nor ask opinion
Time to buy rice for her you they you our opinion oga go buy rice for her

MatrixReloaded:
My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

Thank you jare.

I have been waiting for this kind of comment

Don't mind the op

cyrusmillz:
I don't understand these kind of men on this forum . Always complaining.... I thought you guys are supposed to be the head of the family ni.

Heads of families are born to die early abi? .

dominique:
Tell her to get the rice for her mum with her own money if she feels her mum is badly in need of it. Don't under any circumstances give into her pressure or emotional blackmail. Once you start, the entitled behaviour and demands won't stop. However I don't support your idea of not wanting to give anytime a dime. Tis the season of sharing love and gifts. Gift at your own discretion

Apt

Esthered:

Things are very expensive. I spent about 150k in 2021 being a first time mum.
You're right with inflation, it can get up to that and more.
No baby drawer, bathtub......

Exactly. First time moms will love to have most of the basic and essential stuff. Inflation is the real monster. 150k in 2021 is 300k+ in 2023.

I'm not against your refusal to buy rice for your mother inlaw, but your mom?
Nothing can stop me from showing my mother love, especially this period

I don't know the purpose of bringing this online, sincerely. What should we do now?
A grown up man, behaving like a teen.

Foolishness

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Hope your wife is buying stuff for your mum as well?

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

..
How did you make 1.7 million

You are the head of your family. Just use wisdom and discretion in your decisions

Tell her to buy it with her money that you will pay her back. Case closed. After all, it is her mum and not yours or is she buying for your mum too?

MatrixReloaded:
My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

List the items your wife bought for 100k.