Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank account na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male users and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

Weldone ma

You have some valid points there; but I haven't seen where the op mentioned having 2 kids already and/or being pressured to have the third child!

Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank account na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male users and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

Fact is, if you decide to buy the rice or not the only effect will be your pocket. No one is indispensable. If it is a burden, don't. Don't be one of those people with 90% of their financial obligations isn't theirs to carry.

LikeAking:
Stingy man!

If she is the type of woman wey they try, buy for her. But I’d she is the sturborn type dont buy anything for her.

.
(I hate stubborn women. .

Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank account na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male users and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

To make a long story short, raising children dey expensive. .

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

Why? Won't the mother eat? Won't the mother take care of herself after delivery?
Let's be realistic by guiding people rightly. There is nothing bad buying rice for the mother-in-law but giving her 1m? Please don't push the young man. I.7m will be like 700k by the time he start spending from that money. Please follow your mind but after all of that, remember to treat your mother-in-law well when she visits for the child birth

Klass99:
You are making a very sensible decision and I applaud you for it. You didn't have to lie about being broke sha, you would have told her hoha everything you said here. If she wants a bag of rice so badly for her mother let her make it happen from her own pocket and bank account na.

I say this as a woman who is sick and tired of seeing men on this forum behave like sissies, allowing their wives/women, to dictate or run things anyhow. For example, she mounts pressure on you for a 3rd or 4th child and you succumb, she mounts pressure about japa/relocation, you succumb and start running yourselves into financial debt, she mistreats the help and you stay silent, claiming women are powerful like that or some sort of nonsense to that effect which you people say.

I read comments at times by male users and think to myself when will some of these jackasses, be the men that they were created to be and lead their households right? You do the heavy financial lifting but allow someone to add to that financial burden with an extra child, an extra mouth to feed and more school fees to pay, when there was nothing wrong with the two kids you had already.

Children are expensive and you are preparing well for your first child, don't allow anyone derail you from that plan. Is it not the same rice we have been eating since the beginning of the year? What is now special about a bag of rice for Xmas? I really hate the pressures people mount on themselves and others during this season, we have turned the whole matter into something else.

Meanwhile I have a bag of 50kg rice for sale at 50k .

Op, I think you see women with brain and better thinking. Any reasonable woman should think with her head and assist in times like this than pushing you unnecessarily

Okere18:
You r buying 400k baby stuff for the on coming baby, you r not serious, get few good stuff for your baby and get your mother in law even if it's half bag for 25k and still save some money. 150k can buy ur baby stuff.

This is not possible, 150k can't buy baby stuff

Baby bath is close 10k
Hanger 25k
Rack 35k
Bed-10k
What of clothes, diapers, toiletries, hospital bill

edunaragold:
bro pls listen to me too,I already had kids and I swear I was on you shoes once ,pls if you love your baby,learn to sacrifice to her and keep it as an important record,your wife will later remind you when u have small issue,that u did not buy a bag for her,to justify the issues get her half bag and watch reactions ,think about it,you won't lose anything,what if that's the last favor her mom wish for ,do it ,for now divide your self now to pls both than pleasing them for a longer time,I give u my word ,u will be just fine,I wish I could rewind the hands of time but I did not I was too blind caring for my daughter,than my wife wish,what if her mom dies next yr or today Godforbid,at list u will know peace with the brothers ,that last yr u tried .pls 🙏 buy half to show u tried ,it won't take a blood out of u,and it will moltivate your wife too,pls listen to me, tomorrow make u self get mouth and respect for were her in-laws dey , double respect for u,next yr u won't buy ,now she is pregnant do it for the unborn baby, keep your mother inlaw incheck ,by using your wife advice as a chess pond to keep her mom eyes away from your marriage.

problem with most africans we rush to cover up bad character of elders/wife/hubby by doing things for the sake of peace without that their are actually rewarding bad behaviour from elders/wife or hubby

The men is right, he has equally made a decision that affects both side so is not biased he focused on his family and i support his decision

The mother-in- law can ask other kids for help period

Op, her mother is now also your mother. The most high blessed her to bring your wife into your life and the blessings continue in her stomach for all! The universe or your diety will bless you for buying and giving your in-law mom a simple bag of rice.

writeprof:


It's very compulsory you send something to your MOTHER and MOTHER IN LAW especially this Christmas season, EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE. BUT YOU EVEN HAVE. You don't need your wife to prompt you. It's part of what makes a married man, a responsible person. I did exactly that today. The amount is inconsequential but the results are what will make your marriage enjoyable. Please, be careful of not creating enemies for your unborn child, it's too early. I hope the way you were saying "my baby, my baby ' is not the way you talk even to your wife about the child. WISDOM IS PROFITABLE TO DIRECT. GOD BLESS YOU.

who said it its compulsory ?


A son/daughter in law never get anything in return

Adults/Elders lets also practice to return the favour lets exchange gifts not only receiving

Nicepoker:
If she can't buy rice for her own mom. I think she is a liability.

I think she is. A total and complete liability. You can't buy it for your mum na me make I come buy am.

Does she even have any work she dey do sef? I doubt it.

Buy even if it is half bag of rice and give your mother in-law after, all she will still come for ọmụgwọ when your wife finally puts to bed.

When a purpose of a thing is not known , misuse or abuse is inevitable ..

Like i was taught at FBI , if you're saving money for another purpose and you diverted it to
another purpose , my friend , you're a looter and you've looted the fund .. you're corrupt like our politicians

Offpointng:


But OP you did not try, you have a whooping sum of 1.7m I see no reason why you shouldn't allow ur mother in law have atleast 1m outta the money. and since the budget for the baby is 400k, you'd be left with 300k. Man you'll still have alot at ur disposal

What manner of idiocy and foolishness is this?

Many uncultured men. What is d world turning into? Its either the people are trolling with these comments or they are mentally deranged. May God protect us from evil me. There are 3 women important in a man's life. Treat these women right and see how life will be better for you. Your mother, wife and mother in law. Their prayers will go a long way in your life. Someone commented that the girl could not afford a bag of rice. What if she's presently not working due t relocation as she just got married or she's carrying a high risk pregnancy? If u love your wife, such love will be extended towards her family. It might not be monetary. You shouldn't be told to gift your mother in law and your mum Christmas gift. Let's try to be responsible and empathetic. We can do better as humans and d world will be a better place. When your mum innlaw is at peace with u, she won't even be able to influence her daughter negatively.

DeLaRue:
It is good that you're putting money aside for the baby.

That said, your wife is carrying the baby and if she has pleaded with you to buy rice for her mum, you should consider doing it for your wife.

A good compromise will be to give your mother-in-law N30k cash in envelope or transfer instead of buying N60k bag of rice.

Another 30k to your mum too will bring everything to N60k.

Although that will go against your plan, it will please your wife and buy you peace.

the wife is selfish their are expecting a child, they need the money more than her mother, the mother can get presents from her other children

Zonefree:


A wife that can't afford one bag of rice for her mother is a BIG liability to her husband.

GBAM!

Nigerian men need to stop marrying women that bring nothing to the table and just drain their finances.

Buy the rice and share for both mothers.

After the baby comes, you will still use the same my baby is more important than everyone?

I fault your wife insisting you buy what she and her siblings cannot buy for their mum though.....

Still buy the rice for both mums too.

Icesnow:
Many uncultured men. What is d world turning into? Its either the people are trolling with these comments or they are mentally deranged. May God protect us from evil me. There are 3 women important in a man's life. Treat these women right and see how life will be better for you. Your mother, wife and mother in law. Their prayers will go a long way in your life. Someone commented that the girl could not afford a bag of rice. What if she's presently not working due t relocation as she just got married or she's carrying a high risk pregnancy? If u love your wife, such love will be extended towards her family. It might not be monetary. You shouldn't be told to gift your mother in law and your mum Christmas gift. Let's try to be responsible and empathetic. We can do better as humans and d world will be a better place. When your mum innlaw is at peace with u, she won't even be able to influence her daughter negatively.

lets not rush to blame men

1 where is the husband of this mother in law ?

2 Where are the rest of the children of this mother-in- law ?

Lets nit rush to blame to judge the son-in- law without checking people who must be directly involved in the welfare of the mother in law

People have became lazy and greedy by making it as if its duty of the daughter/son in laws to do duties or roles when infact, the children/wife/hubby of that person and other relatives to look after their own. Daughter/son in laws are just a top up, of things that are supposed to be run by children/hubby/wife and blood relatives.

If the wife had said eg hubby me my sisters/brothers we have raised so much for mother is there anything you can top up with ? am sure hubby would for real top up

But unfortunately some wives think, her mums responsibility is now transfer to her husband, which wrong unless in special circumstances


Am not against looking after our own, but lets not be selfish in putting everything on your husband while your other siblings are not putting their heads together

Eriokanmi:
I can't believe this coming from a female. A woman can ask her man for anything, not because she can't afford it. She just wants that from her man. She didn't ask for a car, expensive clothing...but a bag of rice which her man can easily afford. If she's desperately in need of a bag of rice for her mum, she'd gladly buy it without involving her husband. He may not even notice anything. Women save money for anything they're committed to doing, even if it takes a year to raise that money.

There was a time my wife asked me to buy yam tubers for her parents, not because she couldn't afford them. She can always ask one of her siblings to drop the tubers at her parents' place without me knowing. I bought those tubers. On my birthday, what she bought for me was worth 100 times more than the cost of the yam tubers

COMING FROM A WEAKLING AND SOMEONE THAT CAN'T COMPREHEND AN ARTICLE

Bros, in this part of our world, women see their husband as an escape from poverty. It is the norm. The moment u said I do, u have entered a big trap and this is your cross till death
Buy the rice and have peace
Lesson 2. Start learning to keep secrets from this woman particularly your financial strength, if u have 500k, tell her it’s 150k.
A word is enough for the wise.

You are foolish, Why are you coming to Social media?

Jh

MatrixReloaded:
My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

Carry pikin japa to where? she's Liability for now she can't single hand take care of the baby now

Do it.

It’s a gesture of goodwill that says I don’t have much but I still care about you. This same goodwill you will need when the baby arrives and the your wife needs help from her mom or mom in law.

Not everything requires too much analysis. After your baby arrives, you’ll realize how invaluable these women can be in your life. The rice actually costs nothing in relation to the relationship building and developing

MatrixReloaded:
My brother you wan spend 400k ontop baby things? Abeg wetin u dey buy. My daughter is 2 weeks now. The mama spent only 100k for every thing. During delivery na C/S she use. I pay 300k for everything cos na private ward she dey.
If u get that kind money wetin come be 9k for 10kg rice wey u no fit buy for ur mother inlaw. Abeg guy man dey relax make ur wife no do u bad after child birth. Dem dey craze once dem born finish. U go hear say she carry pikin japa.

. Nawa o

Really,OP u mean all the 1.7 is for the baby expenses alone, man don't be selfish even is not up to that 100k u plan to spend, just get those mummyies little things .

Save 4 ur baby...Christmas no dey finish.

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Boss send appreciation to your mother-in-law and your parents too.

You can gift both 50k each.

I'm same fate with you. Expecting a baby, but that didn't stop me. Common na... I no even get 1.7 lm for account self.

Lol

Money when dey dey use train child, dem no dey tie am keep. It just comes like magic

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Why have you not done as she said to make her happy? Why are people stingy with spending?

Nazgul:

Did you read the part where he said he's not getting anything for his own mom. Besides the wife has elder siblings who can take it upon themselves to contribute money to get their mother rice even if it's 25kg. If they choose not to do so why should he?

Based on his financial status in life, would he die if he shoulder the responsibility? I see no reason why as a husband, I won't spend for my mother in-law if my wife is good. I don't need to be reminded. I bought 25kg rice for my wife sister this month. Giving makes me happy and to have more not less.