So we just got divorced with my wife yesterday after being married for 7years with 3 children.

Please how can one handle the life after divorce such as what neighbors will be saying (gossip), children involed & the depression.

Your inputs will go a long way to help me. Thank you.

The thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.

How you married her and what led to the divorce will determine the right way to handle the divorce.

So, how did you marry her and what caused the divorce?

immortalcrown:
How you married her and what led to the divorce will determine the right way to handle the divorce.

So, how did you marry her and what caused the divorce?

I'm not talking about how to being her back, I'm talking about how to heal and move on...

Meektunz:
I'm not talking about how to being her back, I'm talking about how to heal and move on...

Preventing another wrong marriage is the best way to heal. Tell us how you married her and what caused the divorce, so that we can tell you how to heal and prevent another mistake.

Neighbors my foot! Focus bro… If your kids are not staying with you or when they are not around carry another bunda come around. I assure u that neighbors go update your ex… No mind dem, dem go still gossip if uno divorce

Amebor ooshii..Wetin concerns you with d story

immortalcrown:
Preventing another wrong marriage is the best way to heal. Tell us how you married her and what caused the divorce, so that we can tell you how to heal and prevent another mistake.

TheZeezle:
Amebor ooshii..Wetin concerns you with d story

What concerns you with my comment is what concerns me with the story. Therefore, you are an amebo.

Who dey play with this one?

immortalcrown:
What concerns you with my comment is what concerns me with the story. Therefore, you are an amebo.

TheZeezle:
Who dey play with this one?

Ask yourself this question.

The thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.

.

Don’t be like that, talk to her dad first since you guy were married. Don’t let things slide that way bro

Meektunz:
The a nothing thing is, the first day she packed some of her stuufs from my house to her parents house, nobody called me from her house to ask what the problem is, then yesterday she packed the rest and left with the 3 children and still nobody has called me in her house to know what happened. I'm sure they are all thinking I'll come and beg after w or 3 days.

It's painful but some heal while others live in pain for the rest of their lives

By the way, is the divorce official

tommy589:
It's painful but some heal while others live in pain for the rest of their lives

By the way, is the divorce official

Well, not official bro... After the repeated issues we've been having then we all agreed to go our separate ways and she packed her things and left with the children.

TheZeezle:
Don’t be like that, talk to her dad first since you guy were married. Don’t let things slide that way bro

Her Dad is late... I've spoken severally to her mum but whenever I complain to the mum on something, she always has a way of defending her.

Meektunz:
Well, not official bro... After the repeated issues we've been having then we all agreed to go our separate ways and she packed her things and left with the children.

You have no business living in that neighborhood again if you want to quickly move on. Are you experiencing sleepless nights yet? Oh sorry, it was yesterday

tommy589:


You have no business living in that neighborhood again if you want to quickly move on. Are you experiencing sleepless nights yet? Oh sorry, it was yesterday

Just yesterday bro and the sleepless night has started. Always thinking since morning. I think you're right about changing house but my rent is still yet to expire

Meektunz:
Just yesterday bro and the sleepless night has started. Always thinking since morning. I think you're right about changing house but my rent is still yet to expire

Do you have friends or family to move in with? I advise you not to do this alone

Wait for her to come beg just like she’s waiting on you to come beg. In that time of waiting you will both forget yourselves. 1-2 years from now and nobody has broken the silence you will both assume the other party already moved on.

She will probably keep the kids away from you as a bargaining chip. Depending on the kind of guy you are, you can fight to see your kids and be in their lives or you can just go have other kids.

Chai.. sorry ehn, konibaje

Meektunz:
Her Dad is late... I've spoken severally to her mum but whenever I complain to the mum on something, she always has a way of defending her.

Worst mistake!! Never you ever bother taking issues to mother in-laws they would rather support and defend their daughter. Instead go to uncles or her elder brothers if any.

Sisterhood is real bro.

Meektunz:
Her Dad is late... I've spoken severally to her mum but whenever I complain to the mum on something, she always has a way of defending her.

This will make front page. Let me add my contribution. You know how you survived heartbreaks back in school? This is no different. Neighbours, na them help you marry the girl? How is the divorce their problem? Face your 9 - 5 and continue living. You're a bachelor once again. See fine Gen Z girls everywhere. Na now you go use vex knack the ones wey enter your eyes. Face your job, face your hobbies and create new ones.

Meektunz:
Her Dad is late... I've spoken severally to her mum but whenever I complain to the mum on something, she always has a way of defending her.

No wonder,am sure she was raised by a single mum,those ones have no respect for man,very stubborn nd act bossy most times
Sure her mum will support her,but let me tell u a secret she can't stay in the same house with her mum for long cox two of them have similar characters,try to be looking after ur children nd don't cut off from them no matter what.

If possible change where u stay currently cox of divorce stigma if u 're a type that care abt ppls opinion abt ur life is but never cut off from ur kids,
Good luck

It's pathetic you are going through this phase in your life, being divorce can have it's prons and cons depending on the reason the marriage sunk. I am also separated going 2years now and the experience has been somehow. What lead to our divorce was that she cheated, the marriage last 5years with kids and was difficult to move on at first but you gonna be fine and get yourself on track. Be ready for the emotional and psychological pain, emotional rollercoaster, sadness, depression and anger, don't bottle those emotions but rather express them cos you have lost something very valuable that you labor for, it's normal to feel that way. Go for counselling cos you gonna need it, you need to talk to someone to remain sane, get closer to God for insight and direction.
Despite the fact that I have moved on with another lady, I still feel pained and wishes my marriage never crashed cos it's not easy starting a fresh, the thought is killing. Be strong, focus on your hustle to have money cos it will help in your healing and give you the confidence to move on and start again, you gonna be fine laslas but it will take lot of time. To me, you already got kids, if you can take custody of the kids, pls do and focus on them, for now forget about marriage cos the next woman you will end up with might be worst than the one you had, be happy and stay positive, you might be tempted to frolic with and have sex with any woman now cos of the freedom you got, but mind you, you should trend with caution so you won't get damaged.
Avoid drinking , drugs and smoking cos those will look like a succour for you but not gonna be helpful.

Afodot0022:
It's pathetic you are going through this phase in your life, being divorce can have it's prons and cons depending on the reason the marriage sunk. I am also separated going 2years now and the experience has been somehow. What lead to our divorce was that she cheated, the marriage last 5years with kids and was difficult to move on at first but you gonna be fine and get yourself on track. Be ready for the emotional and psychological pain, emotional rollercoaster, sadness, depression and anger, don't bottle those emotions but rather express them cos you have lost something very valuable that you labor for, it's normal to feel that way. Go for counselling cos you gonna need it, you need to talk to someone to remain sane, get closer to God for insight and direction.
Despite the fact that I have moved on with another lady, I still feel pained and wishes my marriage never crashed cos it's not easy starting a fresh, the thought is killing. Be strong, focus on your hustle to have money cos it will help in your healing and give you the confidence to move on and start again, you gonna be fine laslas but it will take lot of time. To me, you already got kids, if you can take custody of the kids, pls do and focus on them, for now forget about marriage cos the next woman you will end up with might be worst than the one you had, be happy and stay positive, you might be tempted to frolic with and have sex with any woman now cos of the freedom you got, but mind you, you should trend with caution so you won't get damaged.
Avoid drinking , drugs and smoking cos those will look like a succour for you but not gonna be helpful.

bro, you're just speaking as if you're me. You understand exactly how I feel and what I'm going through. Honestly moving on seems impossible, the worst part right now is that ive got no one to talk to. My life seems so miserable right now. Do you know that I've lost appetite completely? Any food I taste right now seems so bitter in my mouth. Sincerely bro it's not easy. The depression is too much for me to handle. From yesterday night up until this moment i count sleep.

Dyfynezz12:

No wonder,am sure she was raised by a single mum,those ones have no respect for man,very stubborn nd act bossy most times
Sure her mum will support her,but let me tell u a secret she can't stay in the same house with her mum for long cox two of them have similar characters,try to be looking after ur children nd don't cut off from them no matter what.

If possible change where u stay currently cox of divorce stigma if u 're a type that care abt ppls opinion abt ur life is but never cut off from ur kids,
Good luck

brother, I'll try my best to cater for the children to the best of my ability. I really wish i can change environment right now due to the stigma like you said because it's really killing me, but I've got absolutely nowhere to go and my rent is yet to expire until September. How can i handle the stigma?

meobizy:
This will make front page. Let me add my contribution. You know how you survived heartbreaks back in school? This is no different. Neighbours, na them help you marry the girl? How is the divorce their problem? Face your 9 - 5 and continue living. You're a bachelor once again. See fine Gen Z girls everywhere. Na now you go use vex knack the ones wey enter your eyes. Face your job, face your hobbies and create new ones.

well spoken but my major problem is that I work from home so I'm always at home. I wish my kind of job is the type that I'll go out in the morning and come back later.

You are not the first man to be divorced nor will you be the last.


F….uck what people think. There is a theory called “let them” let people think and believe what ever they want and have whatever perception of you they like and live in peace without even caring to change their mind, you know you, who cares what they think?

Stop trying to be liked or perceived by people a certain way it is time consuming and useless. Let them think and say whatever you just live well for your self as long as you’re happy that’s all that matter. Try it.
it is one of the most powerful thing you could ever mastered.




About you healing that’s a you thing and your own personal responsibility. Cuz I am not in your life nor am I your therapist to know or tell you how to heal.

Healing will be dependent on how much you love/loved your wife
If you wronged her and mess up far too many times


To conclude divorce is not the end of the world, just because people divorce doesn’t mean they never loved each other but people grow and change, living with another human for such a long period of time is almost unnatural and marriage requires that.

Maturing is realising that divorce is better than staying in a miserable marriage.

I also wish your wife well and I hope she find her happiness because I know what many women go through in the name of marriage. Most women are taking most of the burden and rarely even getting the bare minimum treatment from their husbands. Most single women are far happier than most married women, it ain’t no wonder women are mostly the one filing for divorce.

Meektunz:
brother, I'll try my best to cater for the children to the best of my ability. I really wish i can change environment right now due to the stigma like you said because it's really killing me, but I've got absolutely nowhere to go and my rent is yet to expire until September. How can i handle the stigma?

Limit the number of times ur neighbours see u
Go out to work early,when u close ,stick around somewhere till it's nightfall nd then come back nd go straight to ur room.
Make urself scarce.
Dnt worry this Tinubu regime is very tough on everyone,ur neighbour's will soon forget abt ur problems nd start facing theirs.
Good luck

The greatest mistake you will do is to go back and beg. Move on. Take care of yourself and thrive to become better version. This isn't the end , it's a New beginning.

Meektunz:
well spoken but my major problem is that I work from home so I'm always at home. I wish my kind of job is the type that I'll go out in the morning and come back later.

Them dey forbid learning new habits inside house?