₦airaland Forum

jeromestarks:
BEWARNED! THIS IS A LONG READ.

I have noticed that at some point in every new relationship or friendship I started, the person must test my love for him/her by making me jealous to see my reaction. Check out the following cases.

Case1:
When I got admission into the uni, I met this great guy that i shared hostel with. We became close friends; sharing food together, doing assignment together, washing together etc. We even went to classes and church programs together. These went on for about 4 months or so.
Suddenly, this guy wokeup one beautiful Saturday and called a guy in the next room to escort him to the launder! I was like "what!"
We use to go washing together. Why call this guy and not me? I didn't say it out. I just wondered and pretended not to care.
Before I knew it, he had started cooking and sharing food with the other guy. Soon, he became best friends with this other guy.
I kept my cool and moved on with my life.
We graduated and everyone went his way. Note, we didn't fight. We do talk once awhile but it wasn't as it were.


Case2:
I went for an interview and I met this guy there. He had a car. We got the job and became close friends.
This guy always drove me home after work. We would talk about politics, women, alcohol, life goals etc.
This went on for about 2 months then suddenly, one evening after work, this guy called another colleague of ours and offered to ride home with him. I wanted to still follow them since I didn't plan on going home alone (I didn't hold transport fare). To my surprise, this my guy said he was not going home directly. That he wanted to see someone first. The other guy hopped in his car and they drove away. They got in his fvcking car and drove away.
Demnn! I thought in my head "today ehhh, you go trek. Who say make you no get your own car?"
I was heading towards the exist when one woman in her 50s offered to drive me home. Lucky for me, she was going to see her son who happened to be my neighbor. Guess what? I got home and met my friend's car parked at his gate.
We met with my friend the next day at work and he seemed to be very observant of me. Trying to see my reaction. I greeted him normal. Smiled and walked into my office.
Since that day, our friendship cracked. I didn't follow him home anymore.
I later learnt, through office gossipers, that he wanted to see my reaction that was why he ditched me that day.

Case3: My girlfriends.
I have dated a handful of women and I can confidently tell you that at some point in our relationship (3-4months later), ALL of them tried to make me jealous.
One girl I dated on campus hugged a guy in my presence and looked at me as she did it. I didn't flinch. Days later, this girl called off the relationship.

Another girl I dated in my neighborhood told me the names of guys crushing on her. She showed me text and chats they sent to her. I didn't flinch. I pretended not to feel threatened. Smiled and said " these guys really like you ooo". The following week, this girl called of the relationship.

The third girl woke up one morning, called me and said "if another man asked me out and he is very cute and has a lot of money, what would you do?"
I replied " nothing! If he's better than me and you chose him, I will be happy for you. I can't compete or fight my fellow man because of a woman"
She literally hissed on the phone. The following month, we broke up.

There was this girl that I dated too. After some months into the relationship, she started to form busy. I would call and call, she wouldn't pick up. She would wait until I called like 5 times before she would pick and say "I'm kinda busy now please"
I stopped calling. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. And that was it.
After two months, she called me and I replied " who is on the line?" She hug up and that was the end.

Another girl who was my ex. Started showing me green light (Calling to ask how I am doing, asking if I have eaten, texting me , blah bla blah balablue). So I asked her if we can chill at my house. She quickly told me that she has a boyfriend. I said ok no problem. I requested for the guy's number, called him and we talked like friends. I then called her back and told her that the guy is a great guy. He will be perfect for her. I sent the screen grab of my chats with her boyfriend in which I told him to keep her and take good care of her because she's like a sister to me.
The moment she saw the message, she blocked my line.

The latest one was a girl whom after we had been together for over 6 months, started to tell me about a certain guy that was very caring to her and how she had grown to like him a lot. She told me he makes her laugh and calls her all the time. In my mind I was like " this one want me to struggle to impress her. You dey whine?"
One day, she brought up the guy's name as we were talking and I said "Omo, this guy will be perfect for you ooo."
Boom! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Who do you think is the problem. Is it me or them?

Can u repet the question sir?(no oofencsece)

MrCork:
Can u repet the question sir?(no oofencsece)

The moment I saw your moniker, MrCork, I knew you had nothing serious to say. You're not a serious human being.

jeromestarks:
The moment I saw your moniker, MrCork, I knew you had nothing serious to say. You're not a serious human being.

U write story like teletubby robot & then wonder y women ignore u...no full stop..no coma..no paragraf..& then u come to nairaland beggin us to help u..why wunt she leave u?
Brother do u dont were glasssses??((no oofencsece))

jeromestarks:
BEWARNED! THIS IS A LONG READ.

I have noticed that at some point in every new relationship or friendship I started, the person must test my love for him/her by making me jealous to see my reaction. Check out the following cases.

Case1:
When I got admission into the uni, I met this great guy that i shared hostel with. We became close friends; sharing food together, doing assignment together, washing together etc. We even went to classes and church programs together. These went on for about 4 months or so.
Suddenly, this guy wokeup one beautiful Saturday and called a guy in the next room to escort him to the launder! I was like "what!"
We use to go washing together. Why call this guy and not me? I didn't say it out. I just wondered and pretended not to care.
Before I knew it, he had started cooking and sharing food with the other guy. Soon, he became best friends with this other guy.
I kept my cool and moved on with my life.
We graduated and everyone went his way. Note, we didn't fight. We do talk once awhile but it wasn't as it were.


Case2:
I went for an interview and I met this guy there. He had a car. We got the job and became close friends.
This guy always drove me home after work. We would talk about politics, women, alcohol, life goals etc.
This went on for about 2 months then suddenly, one evening after work, this guy called another colleague of ours and offered to ride home with him. I wanted to still follow them since I didn't plan on going home alone (I didn't hold transport fare). To my surprise, this my guy said he was not going home directly. That he wanted to see someone first. The other guy hopped in his car and they drove away. They got in his fvcking car and drove away.
Demnn! I thought in my head "today ehhh, you go trek. Who say make you no get your own car?"
I was heading towards the exist when one woman in her 50s offered to drive me home. Lucky for me, she was going to see her son who happened to be my neighbor. Guess what? I got home and met my friend's car parked at his gate.
We met with my friend the next day at work and he seemed to be very observant of me. Trying to see my reaction. I greeted him normal. Smiled and walked into my office.
Since that day, our friendship cracked. I didn't follow him home anymore.
I later learnt, through office gossipers, that he wanted to see my reaction that was why he ditched me that day.

Case3: My girlfriends.
I have dated a handful of women and I can confidently tell you that at some point in our relationship (3-4months later), ALL of them tried to make me jealous.
One girl I dated on campus hugged a guy in my presence and looked at me as she did it. I didn't flinch. Days later, this girl called off the relationship.

Another girl I dated in my neighborhood told me the names of guys crushing on her. She showed me text and chats they sent to her. I didn't flinch. I pretended not to feel threatened. Smiled and said " these guys really like you ooo". The following week, this girl called of the relationship.

The third girl woke up one morning, called me and said "if another man asked me out and he is very cute and has a lot of money, what would you do?"
I replied " nothing! If he's better than me and you chose him, I will be happy for you. I can't compete or fight my fellow man because of a woman"
She literally hissed on the phone. The following month, we broke up.

There was this girl that I dated too. After some months into the relationship, she started to form busy. I would call and call, she wouldn't pick up. She would wait until I called like 5 times before she would pick and say "I'm kinda busy now please"
I stopped calling. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. And that was it.
After two months, she called me and I replied " who is on the line?" She hug up and that was the end.

Another girl who was my ex. Started showing me green light (Calling to ask how I am doing, asking if I have eaten, texting me , blah bla blah balablue). So I asked her if we can chill at my house. She quickly told me that she has a boyfriend. I said ok no problem. I requested for the guy's number, called him and we talked like friends. I then called her back and told her that the guy is a great guy. He will be perfect for her. I sent the screen grab of my chats with her boyfriend in which I told him to keep her and take good care of her because she's like a sister to me.
The moment she saw the message, she blocked my line.

The latest one was a girl whom after we had been together for over 6 months, started to tell me about a certain guy that was very caring to her and how she had grown to like him a lot. She told me he makes her laugh and calls her all the time. In my mind I was like " this one want me to struggle to impress her. You dey whine?"
One day, she brought up the guy's name as we were talking and I said "Omo, this guy will be perfect for you ooo."
Boom! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Who do you think is the problem. Is it me or them?

nlfpmod

why don't you ask this question on reddit and/or Quora, and let us know the answers?

These experiences shouldn't bother you. Clearly these people are the problem. Just try to keep an open mind and forge ahead.

A novel.

Juliearth:
These experiences shouldn't bother you. Clearly these people are the problem. Just try to keep an open mind and forge ahead.

sweeery dont mind dat yeye OP jeromestarks boy....he sufarrrrin from a ilness called japa Jolongpapalick mangonekalis orange: A sickness u get from woman rejection. He askin us to give him moiney. can u imagine!!!! ((true Story))

jeromestarks:
Hmmmm🤔.
Maybe I have pride. But who doesn't?

Let me tell you why they run away from you. You never accept the fact that u are wrong, you will always justify your actions even if someone points it out for you.

That is exactly what you are doing right now

MrCork:
sweeery dont mind dat yeye OP jeromestarks boy....he sufarrrrin from a ilness called japa Jolongpapalick mangonekalis orange: A sickness u get from woman rejection. He askin us to give him moiney. can u imagine!!!! ((true Story))

LOL! From where did you concoct this story?

Wainey:
Let me tell you why they run away from you. You never accept the fact that u are wrong, you will always justify your actions even if someone points it out for you.

That is exactly what you are doing right now

You're right a little. Just a little shaa oooo.
One girl got really mad at me for this. She wanted to put emotional blame on me. I had to reject her and her blame game.
(I'm doing it again, aren't I?)

190:
corkyjoe is here again fooling himself abi

Are you talking about me? I will slap you oooo.

Truvelisback:
A novel.

I warned you from the beginning naaa.

Juliearth:
These experiences shouldn't bother you. Clearly these people are the problem. Just try to keep an open mind and forge ahead.

Awwwn. You so sweet.

ClassicEvilSpir:
why don't you ask this question on reddit and/or Quora, and let us know the answers?

It will be too loud and the people I'm talking about might see it.
Just leave it here abeg.

MrCork:
sweeery dont mind dat yeye OP jeromestarks boy....he sufarrrrin from a ilness called japa Jolongpapalick mangonekalis orange: A sickness u get from woman rejection. He askin us to give him moiney. can u imagine!!!! ((true Story))

I will slap you. Continue playing with me you hear. You will tell me if I'm your mate. Don't worry.

jeromestarks:
I warned you from the beginning naaa.

It's a nice story and it would be a nice movie script. Na story like this our movie producers dey find.

jeromestarks:
I will slap you. Continue playing with me you hear. You will tell me if I'm your mate. Don't worry.

u create dumb thread like sakodelick pakogarapist & then u wonder why women reject u....why wunt they reject u. \U need help sir!!!(no oofeoncse)

MrCork:
u create dumb thread like sakodelick pakogarapist & then u wonder why women reject u....why wunt they reject u. \U need help sir!!!(no oofeoncse)

You don old for this nairaland Corky

LifeofDream:
You don old for this nairaland Corky

How sir? Am a recent member sir!

jeromestarks:
Awwwn. You so sweet.

Have you ever done introspect? I'm not saying you are the problem because I think these things happen to people who are nice, but an introspect is necessary. Try to figure out if there are loopholes in your life that you should fix.

jeromestarks:
You're smart. That would have been the best reply but, a woman who tried to make me jealous is a turn off.
Once I get jealous, the game is over.

Yeah
These ones are call manipulator.
Big turn off for sure

But they are these ladies ( including men) who genuinely want to know they stand and how much you esteem them, and that lead to such question.

MOG6670:
Yeah
These ones are call manipulator.
Big turn off for sure

But they are these ladies ( including men) who genuinely want to know they stand and how much you esteem them, and that lead to such question.

That's true.

Fattprince23:
No I can't do that. I had a girl like that doesn't ask all this questions but whenever a dude is disturbing (a whole lot where then) and it comes up, I laugh and tease her (like telling her she's the hottest for street oo or she should make like 3 or 4 her side dude na since some were asking to be side dude anytime she tells them she's already with me) but one day she ask what if life happens she meet someone else she loves, I just told her"Que Sera Sera" whatever will be, will be. So anytime she wants to ask me some of these girl's foolish questions I just smile and she replies herself with "I know, Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be". That even made her love me more. Because I told her real love isn't feeling, it's actions

Yeah, I understand this.

But notes that these type of girls are just 3% of 10%
They are understandable and adaptable to any change. So that response can only work in a situation where by you meet such ladies

But majority of ladies ( men included) will feel inferior and replaceable after getting such response from there fiance

jeromestarks:
BEWARNED! THIS IS A LONG READ.

I have noticed that at some point in every new relationship or friendship I started, the person must test my love for him/her by making me jealous to see my reaction. Check out the following cases.

Case1:
When I got admission into the uni, I met this great guy that i shared hostel with. We became close friends; sharing food together, doing assignment together, washing together etc. We even went to classes and church programs together. These went on for about 4 months or so.
Suddenly, this guy wokeup one beautiful Saturday and called a guy in the next room to escort him to the launder! I was like "what!"
We use to go washing together. Why call this guy and not me? I didn't say it out. I just wondered and pretended not to care.
Before I knew it, he had started cooking and sharing food with the other guy. Soon, he became best friends with this other guy.
I kept my cool and moved on with my life.
We graduated and everyone went his way. Note, we didn't fight. We do talk once awhile but it wasn't as it were.


Case2:
I went for an interview and I met this guy there. He had a car. We got the job and became close friends.
This guy always drove me home after work. We would talk about politics, women, alcohol, life goals etc.
This went on for about 2 months then suddenly, one evening after work, this guy called another colleague of ours and offered to ride home with him. I wanted to still follow them since I didn't plan on going home alone (I didn't hold transport fare). To my surprise, this my guy said he was not going home directly. That he wanted to see someone first. The other guy hopped in his car and they drove away. They got in his fvcking car and drove away.
Demnn! I thought in my head "today ehhh, you go trek. Who say make you no get your own car?"
I was heading towards the exist when one woman in her 50s offered to drive me home. Lucky for me, she was going to see her son who happened to be my neighbor. Guess what? I got home and met my friend's car parked at his gate.
We met with my friend the next day at work and he seemed to be very observant of me. Trying to see my reaction. I greeted him normal. Smiled and walked into my office.
Since that day, our friendship cracked. I didn't follow him home anymore.
I later learnt, through office gossipers, that he wanted to see my reaction that was why he ditched me that day.

Case3: My girlfriends.
I have dated a handful of women and I can confidently tell you that at some point in our relationship (3-4months later), ALL of them tried to make me jealous.
One girl I dated on campus hugged a guy in my presence and looked at me as she did it. I didn't flinch. Days later, this girl called off the relationship.

Another girl I dated in my neighborhood told me the names of guys crushing on her. She showed me text and chats they sent to her. I didn't flinch. I pretended not to feel threatened. Smiled and said " these guys really like you ooo". The following week, this girl called of the relationship.

The third girl woke up one morning, called me and said "if another man asked me out and he is very cute and has a lot of money, what would you do?"
I replied " nothing! If he's better than me and you chose him, I will be happy for you. I can't compete or fight my fellow man because of a woman"
She literally hissed on the phone. The following month, we broke up.

There was this girl that I dated too. After some months into the relationship, she started to form busy. I would call and call, she wouldn't pick up. She would wait until I called like 5 times before she would pick and say "I'm kinda busy now please"
I stopped calling. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. And that was it.
After two months, she called me and I replied " who is on the line?" She hug up and that was the end.

Another girl who was my ex. Started showing me green light (Calling to ask how I am doing, asking if I have eaten, texting me , blah bla blah balablue). So I asked her if we can chill at my house. She quickly told me that she has a boyfriend. I said ok no problem. I requested for the guy's number, called him and we talked like friends. I then called her back and told her that the guy is a great guy. He will be perfect for her. I sent the screen grab of my chats with her boyfriend in which I told him to keep her and take good care of her because she's like a sister to me.
The moment she saw the message, she blocked my line.

The latest one was a girl whom after we had been together for over 6 months, started to tell me about a certain guy that was very caring to her and how she had grown to like him a lot. She told me he makes her laugh and calls her all the time. In my mind I was like " this one want me to struggle to impress her. You dey whine?"
One day, she brought up the guy's name as we were talking and I said "Omo, this guy will be perfect for you ooo."
Boom! That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Who do you think is the problem. Is it me or them?

nlfpmod

I didn't read your post properly because i don't have the time but i will state what i deduced.

A lot of people won't fvck with you if they can't easily use and play you, those women ditched you because they know you can not be manipulated by their silly games know this and know peace. It is very hard to meet genuine people out there that your relationship will be base on mutual respect instead of one person trying to take advantage of the other, especially relationships with women. Those women that cut you off also didn't really have interest in you or like you as you thought, even bad boys that are plain evil in all aspect have several women that are obsessed with them.


The Problem you have is in doubting yourself for not having so many fake people that don't really give a fvck about you in your life, even people with genuine bad characters still have several friends and lovers.

What i can really advice you is that when it come to relationship with women, you can play the aloof game in the beginning of the relationship like the 1-2 months but you have to show more interest if you really want the woman around or else expect to lose her, same with men too you have to show you are interested in their life and family somehow not just doing things together.

I'm the type that don't give a fvck about a long time relationship with a woman, 1 or 2 months is enough but if you want to keep them longer than that you you have to play like you are really interested and make some efforts but no woman is really worth that to me. You may also be lucky to meet a woman that will be very interested in you no matter how long you play you are not that interested, i think those women are the real deal you should be seeking for

PureFace1:
I don't read your post properly because i don't have the time but i will state what i deduced.

A lot of people won't fvck with you if they can't easily use and play you, those women ditched you because they know you can not be manipulated by their silly games know this and know peace. It is very hard to meet genuine people out there that your relationship will be base on mutual respect instead of one person trying to take advantage of the other, especially relationships with women. Those women that cut you off also didn't really have interest in you or like you as you thought, even bad boys that are plain evil in all aspect have several women that are obsessed with them.


The Problem you have is in doubting yourself for not having so many fake people that don't really give a fvck about you in your life, even people with genuine bad characters still have several friends and lovers.

What i can really advice you is that when it come to relationship with women, you can play the aloof game in the beginning of the relationship like the 1-2 months but you have to show more interest if you really want the woman around or else expect to lose her, same with men too you have to show you are interested in their life and family somehow not just doing things together.

I'm the type that don't give a fvck about a long time relationship with a woman, 1 or 2 months is enough but if you want to keep them longer than that you you have to play like you are really interested and make some efforts but no woman is really worth that to me. You may also be lucky to meet a woman that will be very interested in you no matter how long you play you are not that interested, i think those women are the real deal you should be seeking for

You have a good understanding about life.

jeromestarks:
nlfpmod

We are almost similar, except that I don talk to my exes, and it's impossible for me to make friends. The highest I do is to greet.
If we were on a greeting level and one day you decide not to greet me for whatever reason. Just forget it. Nothing for this life fit make you and me greet again.

Deep down my heart I really do not want people to return my greetings when I greet so, we can stop doing greetings.

I've realized that I'm more comfortable in a hostile environment than a friendly one.

jeromestarks:
You have a good understanding about life.

I just know a thing or two not much.

You don't have any problem apart from showing little interests and giving too much "i don't care" energy , you know women clock is always ticking unlike men that can start a family anytime they don't want a man that will waste their time so if you date for 1 to 3 months without showing more interests and keep giving the not giving a fvck energy they will think they have no future with you and exit before wasting too much time with you.

I think those women that were trying to make you jealous resorted to playing those silly games when they couldn't really gauge your interest in them. When your reaction was still very aloof they thought you were just wasting their time and didn't like them at all, you should also be more proactive to ditch any girl that play silly games before they do it first.

You should also be more assertive and stop playing a Nice guy when you are not really nice it make you look very fake. You don't have any business talking with any woman boyfriend or trying to act like you care when you don't really give a fvck.

Men too may doubt their friendship with you if you don't show interest in their personal life, family, education etc.

Mind you many people still won't fvck with you even if you do all these for so many reasons known to them but who give a fvck anyway. I like spending most of my time alone and don't want a long term relationship with any woman so i don't really care but if you want friends and women to stay in your life you have to care about all these.

Your a toxic people magnet you're attracted to toxic people and like to make friends and date them change and study the kind of people you're attracted and make friends with and see meet people more loyal and trusting the chances of meeting toxic people in Nigeria today is 7 out of every 10 people u meet choose your friends and relationships wisely

linearity:
You are the common denominator in all these breakups, and they are many, so what made you think you are not the problem?

Do you really read before commenting? He ask a question, if he is the problem or them?

diogo23:
Do you really read before commenting? He ask a question, if he is the problem or them?

Do you understand English Language, especially what is called Indirect Statement or Speech in English?

I answered his question indirectly and he understood it and had since responded to me accordingly.

MOG6670:
Yeah, I understand this.

But notes that these type of girls are just 3% of 10%
They are understandable and adaptable to any change. So that response can only work in a situation where by you meet such ladies

But majority of ladies ( men included) will feel inferior and replaceable after getting such response from there fiance

She's truly a rare gem and I love her too. There was a time we were talking and somehow drifted to talk about the girl I dated before her(we haven't broken the relationship off just distance between us) so she asked if I still love her. I didn't know how to answer, if I say yes she wouldn't believe I love her or if I say no she might start having notion that I will fall out of love if I find another girl. So what I did was to kiss her anytime she asks. She asked more than 15 times and I just continue kissing her. And she kissed back every damn time hoping I will give up and answer till she gave up. No, I didn't answer her and our love story still continued till they moved to a distant place.