tommy589:
I can not imagine how you feel

Have moved on...life is too short to be living in the past. Just wanted others to learn one thing or another. This babe cook for me few days to this introduction. We were chatting normally. We even had sex like everything was good. If I had not visited I wouldn't have suspected anything.

Irreplaceable01:
Have moved on...life is too short to be living in the past. Just wanted others to learn one thing or another. This babe cook for me few days to this introduction. We were chatting normally. We even had sex like everything was good. If I had not visited I wouldn't have suspected anything.

You make moving on look so easy

tommy589:


You make moving on look so easy

After crying my eyes dried, exhausted every means to get her back... Almost entered depression if not for strong support system (family and friends). What else should I have done? She told me she has moved on, the guy that did introduction was her ex that has been disturbing her for marriage_ from same tribe. She's not showing any remorse whatsoever. I even went as far as meeting with her pastor and told him everything....I can't kill myself, my life is not in my hand.

Irreplaceable01:
After crying my eyes dried, exhausted every means to get her back... Almost entered depression if not for strong support system (family and friends). What else should I have done? She told me she has moved on, the guy that did introduction was her ex that has been disturbing her for marriage_ from same tribe. She's not showing any remorse whatsoever. I even went as far as meeting with her pastor and told him everything....I can't kill myself, my life is not in my hand.

How you were able to move on within the space of Feb. to March is what amazes me

I have had my own fair share of broken heart,the last was my first marriage that ended in the tenth year Keeping face is what I do so well but it takes me more time to heal

Zonefree:

K

Jobless oaf,klass aptly defined you.

Irreplaceable01:
After crying my eyes dried, exhausted every means to get her back... Almost entered depression if not for strong support system (family and friends). What else should I have done? She told me she has moved on, the guy that did introduction was her ex that has been disturbing her for marriage_ from same tribe. She's not showing any remorse whatsoever. I even went as far as meeting with her pastor and told him everything....I can't kill myself, my life is not in my hand.

Her pastor ke? After she had supposedly flushed your baby down the toilet? For what purpose?

NL moderators, please kindly move post straight to front page. Man eyes dey see shege.

You implied she was 7 moths pregnant or did you mean to say 7weeks?

If 7 months how can she use the excuse that she mistakenly thought she was pregnant but she wasn't especially since you claimed that you had sex with her just days before the Introduction?

Also if you regularly spoke to her aunt, why do you think the aunt did not inform you that the family did not approve of the marriage?

[quote author=Irreplaceable01 post=129142279]
The next day 12th February, I matched back to the house with my soldier friend to ask her about the warfare of the unborn child,this girl replied that she thought she was pregnant but she's not. Omoh, how can someone be thinking she's pregnant for 7months? I spent money to Register her for antenatal, do send money for provisions,buy fruits and all that. It was obvious she had aborted the pregnancy/quote]

allow me laugh here I know it's a mistake but I like how the soldier went for warfare. Are you sure you made her pregnant or the other guy did it? Are you sure it is your baby? Only the mom can tell who the father is if the other bros cannot score and you helped them put the ball into the net. The family has given you big statement, stay out of it. Move on and leave the flesh of another bone for dog wey get am.

tommy589:


How you were able to move on within the space of Feb. to March is what amazes me

I have had my own fair share of broken heart,the last was my first marriage that ended in the tenth year Keeping face is what I do so well but it takes me more time to heal

I guess everyone has their own way of dealing with things. I made several efforts within the period to make her change her mind. She clearly stated that the deal has been done. At first I was completely pissed up but later, the love I have for her softened my heart so I started trying to reach her. She agreed to meet and even went with me to do an ultrasound to really confirmed if the baby was still intact. Lab guy confirmed it was no more.

What am I suppose to continue fighting for? My family told me they are willing to pay everything I spent on her and totally give her space, But the money is really not my problem. She's gone, the baby is gone.

worksmart:
You implied she was 7 moths pregnant or did you mean to say 7weeks?

If 7 months how can she use the excuse that she mistakenly thought she was pregnant but she wasn't especially since you claimed that you had sex with her just days before the Introduction?

Also if you regularly spoke to her aunt, why do you think the aunt did not inform you that the family did not approve of the marriage?

she was 7months pregnant. I don't know why the aunty kept everything a secret from me. I regularly buy wine to visit her, we will gist, laugh and all. Give the kids money and all. She thanked me for the food stuff I sent the family for Christmas. Even me and her younger sister used to talk. Infact, a week to the day of the introduction, I send money to the younger sister cause she complained of having issues with her bank. Everything was just looking ok. They all played the script well.

Kobojunkie:
I did but the gal and her parents probably got tired of waiting while you dragged your feet on making a final decision and decided it best to move on. You got her pregnant before marrying her. Did you think that meant she could not move on or what?

If I had a daughter or son, I would not advise her or him to wait around on anyone when it comes to realizing a personal dream or desire.

He got her pregnant before marrying her Like he got her pregnant without her knowledge

Most of your comments stinks honestly.

Man and woman go have sex......when belle show nah the man fault. (They are always the victim)

[quote author=papyjaypaul post=129143948][/quote] You know what I meant. We engineers are hardly story tellers. It's true that only a woman knows who got her pregnant. But if your babe of 5yrs as at last yr, walked up to you to inform you that she took in for you. Will you start doubting if it's yours? Someone that you've gone to meet with her family, she have met yours.

The excuse they are giving is that Edo men_that are not even from my side of Edo_has hurt two of their daughters in the past. So they no longer want to give out their daughter to Edo people. This girl and her family totally kept everything a secret from me. It now look as though they are using her to avenge what was done to their daughters before. And she totally played the script. All I had was good intentions and love for her and her family.

Zonefree:

You were not invited prior to the event is enough reason for you to leave immediately.

But, as a hungry man, they offered you seat, food and drink, you accepted not knowing it's your beloved pregnant babe's introduction.

You're a disgrace to humanity. It's more noble to have a bandit as a son than to have you as a son. Tueh!

I shake my head for you. Your reasoning is very poor starting from your first statement and it shows you lack reading comprehension.

You are the DISGRACE TO HUMANITY here, you big f👀l

Kobojunkie:
I do understand what you are saying. But, you didn't wait for consent before impregnating her. Then you went back to waiting for consent afterward. If my child was in a similar situation, I wouldn't hold it against her if she decided moving on was best.

I think it is best you accept what has happened and look for a way to move on instead.

Which foolish consent before impregnating her are you talking about?? Two adult now need female parent consent before having sex. Does all the guy that Bleep you ask for your parent consent??

This stupid talk of **he impregnate her** is very disgusting.

They both had sex which resulted in pregnancy.....two people actions.

Yashita:


I shake my head for you. Your reasoning is very poor starting from your first statement and it shows you lack reading comprehension.

You are the DISGRACE TO HUMANITY here, you big f👀l

I just don't understand some people here, I thought we are suppose to be mature people with some degree of education in nairaland. How will you reject drink from your supposed inlaw to be. Everyone is just tough online.

She and her junior sister told me it was hosting, that her aunty hosted some people.


Furthermore, when I got there, the guy that came for the introduction and his family were already gone (I later learnt they came from another state). It was guests that were still around that gave me the huge revelation.

So how can you be sure her pregnancy reached 7months and if so how can she expect you to believe that she mistakenly believed she was pregnant?

Irreplaceable01:
she was 7months pregnant. I don't know why the aunty kept everything a secret from me. I regularly buy wine to visit her, we will gist, laugh and all. Give the kids money and all. She thanked me for the food stuff I sent the family for Christmas. Even me and her younger sister used to talk. Infact, a week to the day of the introduction, I send money to the younger sister cause she complained of having issues with her bank. Everything was just looking ok. They all played the script well.

Irreplaceable01:
Thank God there are still intelligent minds here. I kept going back to the post to see if there was a mistake with the writeup.

I sincerely don't know which is more troubling: The seriousness of your case, or the slow compression brazenly display by the two individuals on this thread! (learn to ignore such derailers next time!)
The term Abortion is no longer applicable to a 7month pregnancy - it's cold-murder!!!

The story is not finished yet...I skipped some part before especially as it concerns her mum. Notice that I spoke about meeting with the mum and didn't talk about the mum again.

To continue...my girl stays with her aunty in the same town with me but the mum stays in another state (won't want to mention address/locations). Her mum actually welcome me well, cooked for me and all that. She was such a a nice lady. She accepted me joyfully. Accepted my drinks and all that. I made my intention know to the mum, she asked her daughter if she will want to marry to. She said yes. Her mom told me I have her blessings but she's a lady and have little say in the matter.

Her mom promised to send my message to the other family members ( her uncles). I gave her some money at least to cover transportation and promised to visit anytime I am called upon by the uncles.

Another meetings was held by the family members, (they didn't want me to be present in that meeting) to discuss about the proposal. I ensured to send money for drinks.

After the meetings with the uncles, I asked my girl about the outcome, she totally lied that nothing was discussed because majority of the uncles were not in attendance. I later got to find out that it was at that meeting last yr that they concluded they didn't want anything to do with Edo. But the mum was not in support of them.

To cut the long story short.... Around July of last year the mum got sick, strange sickness that doctors could not diagnose. I was spending money as inlaw to be, but unfortunately we lost her in August. During these period of her mum's sickness, she was already pregnant. Her mom was happy to hear of it and even called me about it. The death of her mum was shocking and painful, she was such a a vibrant and lovely woman. So the marriage plans was put on pending to prepare for burial. Off course, I also spend for burial. But she refused me from attending the burial stating that they wanted to do a small burial for her that will only involve immediate family members.

After the burial, I resume again with pressure for the marriage to be done before she put to birth. Her sister now informed me that their custom don't permit pregnant woman to be wedded till after the pregnancy. I believed these people not knowing they had an hidden agenda.


...

SporaD8:

I sincerely don't know which is more troubling: The seriousness of your case, or the slow compression brazenly display by the two individuals on this thread! (learn to ignore such derailers next time!)
The term Abortion is no longer applicable to a 7month pregnancy - it's cold-murder!!!

I don't just understand those guys, what will I gain by coming to say things that didn't happen on Nairaland. Will Seun pay me. We are both on Nairaland but silent readers.

Irreplaceable01:
It was not a long distance relationship, I was always visiting her aunty she stayed with. I do call her sister we do gist. I even bought food stuff for the family this past December for Christmas. We were together in my house fews days to this introduction. We even chatted the morning of that introduction and we arranged to meet that very day 11th of February which was a Sunday.

It was just a strong urge within me, like am intuition that pushed me to go visit the family that very day. There was no single reason to have suspected such a thing was going on.

I don't understand how seven months pregnancy is not visible enough for the other guy not to see, n besides, sorry to say I guess you were not wise enough for paying for antenatal, when the person doesn't posses symptoms of pregnancy. Or do you mean she aborted 7months pregnancy
You were fooled in various ways expect this story is not true.

Kingray10:

I don't understand how seven months pregnancy is not visible enough for the other guy not to see, n besides, sorry to say I guess you were not wise enough for paying for antenatal, when the person doesn't posses symptoms of pregnancy. Or do you mean she aborted 7months pregnancy
You were fooled in various ways expect this story is not true.

The pregnancy was real, the symptoms were there. She's a very slim girl so the pregnancy was not very obvious.

Secondly, the guy that did the introduction doesn't stay in the same state as her, so it was a long distance arrangement, possible why I didn't suspect it. But the symptoms were there. Why will someone not pregnant be attending antenatal, won't the nurses and doctors detect it? Aside from antenatal I registered her for a lady that does native medicine for pregnant women...that lady specializes in massaging the stomach making sure the baby was well positioned.

Irreplaceable01:
I don't have time to be dragging words with you. I probably could pay your full year salary and not wink.

Stop replying those online agberos, they will drag you into the mud with them and they will be happy about it.

Irreplaceable01:
Let me continue the story; many persons seems to be getting the narrative wrong. Although I'm not a story teller, so try to read slowly, comprehend before replying.


To continue...I was now speaking with the uncle she stays with (He was the first person I went to visit with drink and declared my intention to marry her last two yrs) I asked what was going on, I need clarification as I don't understand. He replied that he was shocked to have seen me that he thought me and her were no longer together. Saying that he told her to tell me that family did not accept me because of my ethnicity (I'm Edo). This girl didn't tell me anything, totally kept me in the dark and none of her family members told me anything like that. I became furious and the Uncle reacted aggressively, telling me to leave his house.

The next day 12th February, I matched back to the house with my soldier friend to ask her about the welfare of the unborn child,this girl replied that she thought she was pregnant but she's not. Omoh, how can someone be thinking she's pregnant for 7months? I spent money to Register her for antenatal, do send money for provisions,buy fruits and all that. It was obvious she had aborted the pregnancy.

I wanted to take it up with her but family advise I let go of everything and move on. People can be wicked sha. Her reason for all these was that family did not want their daughter to marry from Edo

Pls where is she from?

Irreplaceable01:
The person that said "fear woman" was right. Fear that gender and trust them at your own risk.

Let me share my story anonymously. Although I have accepted my fate and moved on but will want others to learn from my experience.


I started dating this delta Igbo girl since 2018.
She was just preparing for her NYSC back then while I was working at the power sector.

We had a very good relationship and bonded well. Late 2022 (four yrs into the relationship), I decided it was time to take the relationship serious and meet with her people.

She happily accepted and told me to reach out to her mom, which I did.

To cut the long story short, I met with some of her family members and made my intention known to them. They welcomed me well and told me they will get back to me with their feedback.

Since October 2022 that I made my intention know to the family, they were delaying the whole arrangement while giving me silly excuses.

I kept my cool because during this period, the girl was not giving me any cause for alarm. I believe her story that her family members didn't want her good (her dad is late).

Last year June,, she took in for me which I accepted and was glad about the whole thing...so I started putting pressure on her about the wedding, so that the wedding can be done before the pregnancy become very obvious , I never suspecting any foul play from her.

To my greatest shock and surprise. On the 11th of February, I just had a strong urge to go visit her family. Getting there I saw them having a party. I inquired of her what was happening. She said her aunt was doing hosting. I will abit relax but still disturbed within me. They gave me food and drinks which I accepted. I was just not comfortable within me. I called some of the persons that were present at the party and inquired of them. Lol and Behold another guy has come to do introduction for my girl

To be continued...

I've read through your story and I totally understand you. But It's a good thing things went the way it did because you just dodged a bullet.
When the family already has too much say in the relationship and the girl seems not to have a mind of her own, it's obvious that whatever union you have with her, the family will be the one controlling it.

Additionally, the girl isn't faithful to you and she belongs to the street. Or did her people matchmake her with the said other guy? That should give you a red flag that the pregnancy self is likely not yours.

Going forward, try to limit the familiarity with the families of your in-laws. The see finish will not make them respect you. Imagine talking to sister, uncle, etc... to do what exactly? Again, man up and take charge of your family.

Again, make sure you date or be with someone who can think for themselves. This life ehn.. May God help and see us guys through

Rickmann:



Pls where is she from?

Her dad is Asaba, her mum is Enugu

Irreplaceable01:
I did seek their consent. Carried drink to the family and visited the mother also. Nobody told me they are not in support of our union. They were just giving one silly excuses or the other. Delaying the whole process without a definite Yes or No. Try to understand.

Don't reply Kobojunkie for your own sanity.

He looks for fault where there isn't. Take my advice

Chevrolet076:


I've read through your story and I totally understand you. But It's a good thing things went the way it did because you just dodged a bullet.
When the family already has too much say in the relationship and the girl seems not to have a mind of her own, it's obvious that whatever union you have with her, the family will be the one controlling it.

Going forward, try to limit the familiarity with the families of your in-laws. The see finish will not make them respect you. Imagine talking to sister, uncle, etc... to do what exactly?

Again, make sure you date or be with someone who can think for themselves. This life ehn.. May God help and see us guys through

Amen to your prayer. I just used the talking to aunty and sister to illustrate the fact that I had communication with these people, yet they kept me in the dark.

Irreplaceable01:
Have moved on...life is too short to be living in the past. Just wanted others to learn one thing or another. This babe cook for me few days to this introduction. We were chatting normally. We even had sex like everything was good. If I had not visited I wouldn't have suspected anything.

When you had sex with her, how did you not notice that a 7 month pregnancy was not there?

I am a married man with 2 kids and I am trying to comprehend how you did not notice either it's absence or presence.

Because a man whose girl is 7 months pregnant should be obsessed with touching her tummy and playing with it all the time.

Krak:


When you had sex with her, how did you not notice that a 7 month pregnancy was not there?

I am a married man with 2 kids and I am trying to comprehend how you did not notice either it's absence or presence.

Because a man whose girl is 7 months pregnant should be obsessed with touching her tummy and playing with it all the time.

I still be JJC for the Matter, pàrdon my ignorance. I never had reason to doubt this girl. We discussed about baby things and name, she was suggesting some Igbo names which I was not accepting. Have even gotten a baby cot. And was planning to import most of the baby things.

Irreplaceable01:
Have moved on...life is too short to be living in the past. Just wanted others to learn one thing or another. This babe cook for me few days to this introduction. We were chatting normally. We even had sex like everything was good. If I had not visited I wouldn't have suspected anything.

my problem is giving my all to whomsoever I am dating, like 💯 dedicated...
When the last one eloped with my kids in the name of not being financially buoyant, I lost every atom of love and dedication, I lost my soul for loving...
Met a lady recently, I took her virginity, this lady is beautiful, like exactly what I needed in a lady..
She is respectful, responsible, supportive and dedicated and believe me, I just can't love her.. I tried every single day to bring myself to love her but I just can't.. Not cheating on her, I do whatever am supposed to do for her but still, the love is not forthcoming... That's what betrayal can do...
I told her, she said with time the love will come that if I dare leave her, she will commit suicide...