₦airaland Forum

Joemavel:
That's an abnormal family. I'm raising kids and I shower them with love, my own family growing up we aren't perfect but when in need that's when you see and know you got people. I am talking about a normal family and not those abnormal ones.

pansophist:
Some have kids but end up disowning two, why the rest are just zero people.

Some have kids, and died before their kids grew. Some have kids, but the kids don't care about their parents.

Some people adopted kids, and the kids turned out to be better then their biological ones.

Just know that the future is not certain. And in any decision you make, be sure that you understand the potential challenges that will arise from there.

As a guiding principle, make sure you're not having kids as a backup for old age pension, loneliness and to make them a photocopy of the dreams you couldn't accomplish. You'll he so disappointed.

FaceTanke:
Do you think I will be arrested and prosecuted if I marry myself publicly or privately?

jelel6:
I think to have or not to have children should be a MAJOR decision. Unfortunately, we have been programmed to get a Job, marry, and have children. Me included. So what should have been a major decision to make ends up being trivial.
But there's nothing trivial about birthing, raising, and caring for children. Not every person in the world is going to be able to commit to, and then have the capabilities to shoulder such responsibilities.
Fact is, if Nigeria was a less judgemental society. A few more people would be contented with the happiness and pride they find in other sources besides children.

Jeezuzpick:
Not so, my sister. I won't tell people who can't have kids to kill themselves, for instance. I have close friends who are childless and really want kids.
However, I can see the old people around me and I know for sure that their grown kids mean a lot in their lives in their old age.

Kingrshd3:
You got me with these points of yours 😉

May God just make us be fortunate to have kids that will be reproductive and be ourselves in the old age 😞.

because my immediate family these happened too and I as d last born was only the son that even remember or care for my parents while the rest elder 4 are just not part of the family as my mother would say if truly she have seen d future she would have prefer to give birth to me alone ☹️☹️☹️


Look at life when am not with them at old age all her children would have just left her depressed 😔

pansophist:
Yes na. That's how it goes.

I've said it here before that many parents in reality have no kids, or have maybe just one true child out of maybe five children.

Lots of people are zero people. They are just available, but empty. Existing but not alive. A problem to everyone from birth to death. Their absence has more value than their presence.

They only take, cannot give. Their vanity is their calling. To ball and chill, and let life pass them by, wasting away every resources thrown at them.

The point is to have good children, not just children. You try. You're responsible for looking after your parents.

I know it's hard, but it's solemn. You'll be at peace with yourself, and God will richly bless you.

Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

kay29000:
Dude, no finality to Joshua Selman's case. He is just 43. He can decide to marry in a couple of years or next year. I have a friend that used to always say he would never marry in his 20s, and even in his 30s and early 40s he kept saying it. I was shocked when I saw his wedding pictures at 43. The thing shock me.

Dainy1:
Some people will come on this post and start ranting now. Even those that intentionally indulge themselves in abortion that have permanently damaged their womb and chances of giving birth and some that sacrifice their fertility to some spiritual occultic orth and exchange their chances of having children with money.
Even those that are longing to get married and have beautiful children but have not succeed yet.
They will all come here and start forming now. Just wait and see

CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

mariahAngel:
Here's what the bible says in the book of Psalms 127:3-5 3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.

4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.


Also, the book of Psalms 128 says 1 Blessed is everyone that feareth the LORD; that walketh in His ways.

2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.

3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.

4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD.

So, you decide.
May God grant you wisdom to make the best decision.

lalalista:
I want to have children but I don't want to marry. I don't like living with a man. They disgust me sometimes. I love being on my own

CoronaVirusPro:
If everybody was manufacturing poverty, who are the benefactors of wealth, economy’s and jobs. Oh! So you don’t know the people who lead the world 30-40 years from now are just being birthed today?

And why do you lots always compare every scenario with the worst. You never compare instances with the positives. You talk about how poor Mr. X is, but will never talk about how successful Mr. Y. Why are you always compelled to always align with the worst?

Shaddymie:
Honestly, time will tell, I've been married for more than a decade and yet to have a child, I tried everything humanly but all to no avail, I still trust God, he'll answer me one day.
See it has not been easy, aside seeing my mates and people around me have children and I don't have, it's really getting to me that, I don't have anyone to talk to or send an errand, if I don't get it my husband will and at times I'll have to go far.
What I'm saying is, not only pressure from people will make you feel you don't have but, the boredom and not having yours to send on an errand at due time, because people will make you feel you don't have a child. Not trying to convince you, it's your choice, it is well with any decisions you choos.

Kobojunkie:
Accept Jesus Christ so what will happen abeg?

For those who worship at the shrine of marriage and child bearing while operating under some delusion that the God of Israel and His Son, Jesus Christ, equally share in the same, kindly note the following statements made by Jesus Christ of those who will qualify as His followers.

A. God's special blessing/permission is given only to those who would choose to live as Eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God.

B. Women who choose to live as Eunuchs — Childless— for the sake of the Kingdom of God are the ones who have God's blessings; women who have children are told to cry for themselves and their children's sake.

C. Your marriages are of this world of men and not of the Kingdom of God
For those completely without eyes, Jesus Christ made it clear that His followers are in this world but are NOT of the world.

Jesus Christ called for those who are single and even the barren, not for those who wish to have children. So keep God's mention off these things.

Uchesis:
You will want your child to get married in future and have his/her own children/family, and still be taking care of you.


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Are you not a person with entitlement mentality?

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Imagine Dangote waiting for his son to send him money when he old and retired.

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You better have a plan B bro, incase your kids can't meet up

Kobojunkie:
Can you also see the many old people out there who either lost all their kids over the years or got abandoned by them, some od them worse off than others who never had kids to begin with? They are all in that very same community you all live in.

Uchesis:
■ Jesus didn't marry, neither did his disciples. God doesn't have a wife, neither satan the devil. Angels don't marry, infact all the angels are male. Yet no one is asking them why?

CoronaVirusPro:
You are still soaked in the old way of doing things. Let me tell you how kids are being raised in 2024. Parents don’t expect from kids again, they set them up!

Get them the best educational tools, invest heavily in their education, make big long term investments in their name, get them a dual citizenship, and support them mentally and morally.

I won’t be needing their money at old age. If I have gotten them that far, do you think I am poor or would be anything from them?

Rollingdollar:
You may regret it. Let me tell you someone's experience. When i was undergraduate i had one professor as friend, his wife died some yrs back without a child before her demise and after her dealth the prof refuses to remarry and have children. He said to me their no need for him to remarry since he doesn't want children. This man loves his job so much and the money keep rolling in. He built a very big duplex, has a very nice car and he is healthy. Few yrs later after i graduated and started working. I got posted to delta state , so i don't use to see him often again. This yrs i got my posting back to the state he reside and that gives me ample time to check on him. When i got their he looks old and depress. Geting closer i obverse he suffered stroke and it seem even the university forced him to retire due to his health. The first thing he manage to asked me was. Hope you are married ? I responded, yes and he added make sure you have kids now that you are young don't end up like me. I went round his house , more than six rooms they all look dirty, the whole compound look empty, the cars all parked some sold off . He said he had to deactivate most of his bank apps and ussd because most family and domestic workers he employed now steal from him because they knew he didnt have the strength to monitors most thing again. He said had it been he had a child of his own. That child might probably be the one to be in charge of most crucial things in his life now that he is old

Paracetamol01:
@ Op ...a child will grow up to father the father. Think about this words when you are sick,old, and helpless

DeepSight:
As sad and pitiful as this story is, the fact still remains that it is a selfish reason to have children. And so many of us have this thinking on this subject: "Who will take care of you in your old age."

While it's an understandable thought, it remains a shallow and self centred reason for something as profound as bringing another soul into the world.

I am yet to hear anyone say something such as - "I want to have a child in order to impart what learning, talent and vision I can to the future of humanity." Rather it's always all about how lonely I will be, who will take care of me, how jealous of my friends I will be.... Me, me, me, me.

Shallow.

Uchesis:
So whats the difference between you and a man who has no kids but has invested and secured his future financially up to any age he lives on this earth and can afford to take himself anywhere in the world he choses? Infact you will envy that man and wish you were him.


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And if you won't be needing their money, what will you need from them? Don't they have their own life to live anymore?

Jewessgratitud3:
Whatever rocks your boat. You don't have to conform to society Norms and beliefs. Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't encroach on anyone's space.

okoroemeka:
and I am beginning to wonder what type of good man will marry a woman that does not want children, especially when having children is now the major reason men are getting married ,,anybody that does not want children both biological or adopted is copying the oyibo lifestyle,those people have homes that take care of elderly people but here in Nigeria you will die and rot to skeleton on your bed nobody will give a shit about you, offsprings is the best old age insurance policy in Nigeria,when your strength will fail,your eyesight,health,mind,that is when you need a loyal person by your side

Kobojunkie:
Can you also see the many old people out there who either lost all their kids over the years or got abandoned by them, some od them worse off than others who never had kids to begin with? They are all in that very same community you all live in.

Shaddymie:
Honestly, time will tell, I've been married for more than a decade and yet to have a child, I tried everything humanly but all to no avail, I still trust God, he'll answer me one day.
See it has not been easy, aside seeing my mates and people around me have children and I don't have, it's really getting to me that, I don't have anyone to talk to or send an errand, if I don't get it my husband will and at times I'll have to go far.
What I'm saying is, not only pressure from people will make you feel you don't have but, the boredom and not having yours to send on an errand at due time, because people will make you feel you don't have a child. Not trying to convince you, it's your choice, it is well with any decisions you choos.

Jeezuzpick:
■ How common are those? If they're common around you, you need to change location.