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Will I Regret Not Having Children - Family - Nairaland

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Will I Regret Not Having Children by Bullfallo(m): 5:46pm On Mar 27
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a life of faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a life of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want to adjust resources from my lifestyle

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by CoronaVirusPro: 5:57pm On Mar 27
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that said same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by thesicilian: 6:11pm On Mar 27
You'll likely regret the decision. Or maybe not. But it may not be the best feeling on earth to grow old and suddenly realize it's been a great mistake not to have kids.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 6:28pm On Mar 27
Bullfallo:
■ Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me. Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public. If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a live if faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a live of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want adjust resources from my lifestyle
Many people in Nigeria made the same decision. They may not be as loud as those who worship at the shrine of child-bearing, but they live and exist in that same Nigeria with everyone else. If your mind is made up to have no kids and also not to adopt, then do some research on how others have been able to live in the same Nigeria without kids. undecided

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Klass99(f): 6:31pm On Mar 27
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would pass or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Klass99(f): 6:41pm On Mar 27
Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

This two statements are contradictory. Marriage and children are life choices, as in things people do as a matter of choice, you always have a choice.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Classcaptain1(m): 6:45pm On Mar 27
Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion. In fact opposite of the popular views or majority behavior. I don’t send or give a Bleep what anyone think about me.

Example is that people live there live on public opinion. They create a life of public presentations just to please public and get validated but i am not of public views. I do my things the way it pleases before considering public.

If I have billions of dollars like dangote the choice might have been different. I don’t live a live if faith. I must have concrate evidence of things or resources before i made any vita decisions. I hate to borrow or beg. I live a live of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want adjust resources from my lifestyle
You will definitely regret not having a shudrens.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Acidosis(m): 6:47pm On Mar 27
Bullfallo:
Not wanting to have a child isn’t a choice per say. I hate to put myself into pressure or do things just because others are doing it, my lifestyle has always be different from public opinion.

This justification is somewhat weak. It won't take you too far before you "fold."

I live a live of comfort. I am rich and comfortable but not for many mouths. Because I don’t want adjust resources from my lifestyle.

Another weak reason. The responsibility of child raising does not rest solely on the man. Even if you choose to be with a full-time housewife, it is still cheaper to train a child (financially) than marry a wife. Certainly more expensive to be with a girlfriend. So what are you afraid of, really?

You can't completely dissociate yourself from a norm so long as you remain a social being. There are many things you may not want to do to impress anyone, like dancing on tiktok, hosting a big wedding, etc. Others like attending a school, getting a job, or having kids are not necessarily meant to appease the public.

There are many justifiable reasons why a man may not want a biological child, though. But your reason has to be strong enough to avoid regrets.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by ibechris(m): 7:06pm On Mar 27
How old are u...and why this decision of urs?




Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 7:18pm On Mar 27
I want to marry myself

Does anybody else feel like that?

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Villa12(m): 7:23pm On Mar 27
CoronaVirusPro:
The future will educate you better. I don’t think anyone can educate you about that.

If you really want to have a glimpse of what it looks like, check all those class of people that same in their youthful ages, reality humbled them in their old age and started having kids at the dying hour.

Reality will “Personally” dawn on you. How you accept it, will determine your mental state and response.

Just be patient. 20 years from now will tell a lot.
There are many men and women that had kids but living a life as if they do not have kids, even at old age. Their children are poor, likewise their parents. They literally live from hand to mouth courtsey with the support of well-wishers. Society only address them with the name of their child/ren but there's no positive impact of these children in their lives. This abound in Nigeria today.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 7:25pm On Mar 27
FaceTanke:
I want to marry myself. Does anybody else feel like that?
What does it mean to marry oneself? undecided
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Jewessgratitud3: 7:49pm On Mar 27
Whatever rocks your boat. You don't have to conform to society Norms and beliefs. Do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't encroach on anyone's space.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 7:57pm On Mar 27
Kobojunkie:
What does it mean to marry oneself? undecided

Like I want to get married to myself

Is it even illegal?

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Xosh: 8:08pm On Mar 27
If I by any chance happens to have all the money in the world,I'd still live my normal simple life.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 8:09pm On Mar 27
FaceTanke:
■ Like I want to get married to myself. Is it even illegal?
The legal definition of marriage in Nigeria is an agreement between a man and a woman. undecided
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 8:12pm On Mar 27
Kobojunkie:
The legal definition of marriage in Nigeria is an agreement between a man and a woman. undecided

But in some climes now

Man marry man

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 8:15pm On Mar 27
FaceTanke:
■ But in some climes now Man marry man
Yes, in some climes but Nigeria is not there yet. undecided

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by CoronaVirusPro: 8:21pm On Mar 27
Villa12:
There are many men and women that had kids but living a life as if they do not have kids, even at old age. Their children are poor, likewise their parents. They literally live from hand to mouth courtsey with the support of well-wishers. Society only address them with the name of their child/ren but there's no positive impact of these children in their lives. This abound in Nigeria today.

Now depends on your financial status, and you only have examples with the worst scenario.

Now make same example with a positive scenario. Average family’s with over 5 kids and all are successful.

I have seen on Nairaland where all members of the family are doctors and lawyers. Don’t you think the parents will be one of the most fulfilled humans on Earth? Nurturing a day old baby to success.

No one is compelled to have a baby, but be sure and certain that’s what you really want. So you won’t later be raising babies at the dying hour.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 8:29pm On Mar 27
Kobojunkie:
Yes, in some climes but Nigeria is not there yet. undecided


Is it really illegal to marry myself?
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 8:31pm On Mar 27
FaceTanke:
Is it really illegal to marry myself?
For a thing to be considered Legal, there ought to exist provisions right there in the law allowing such an act. undecided

1 Like

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 8:32pm On Mar 27
Kobojunkie:
For a thing to be considered Legal, there ought to exist provisions right there in the law allowing such an act. undecided

Do you think I will be arrested and prosecuted if I marry myself publicly or privately?
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 8:36pm On Mar 27
FaceTanke:
■ Do you think I will be arrested and prosecuted if I marry myself publicly or privately?
No clue! undecided
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by FaceTanke: 8:40pm On Mar 27
Kobojunkie:
No clue! undecided

I think it's a loophole I can exploit
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kelklein(m): 10:07pm On Mar 27
Honestly I didn't understand most of the points made by the op.. except for the topic..

Can anyone help throw more light..🤔

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Etosha: 10:29pm On Mar 27
If ur character is good, please leave a copy of yourself for Earth if you can.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Trevor125: 11:52pm On Mar 27
Klass99:
When I first felt the desire to be child free and not have children I was in my 20s. Several people told me the feeling would change or I would change my mind as time goes by.

As the years went by my desire didn't wane neither did my mind change. The desire only grew stronger and my mind more convinced that motherhood is not for me.

I have no regrets so far and I don't see myself regretting the choice. Home ownership and companionship with a good man, matter to me more than biological children do.
why do i feel,i know the person talking!!🤔
Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Kobojunkie: 12:00am On Mar 28
Etosha:
If ur character is good, please leave a copy of yourself for Earth if you can.
Good character? So child-bearing process copies over good character from parents to children? You mean sort of like Hitler's father and mother copied their "good character" over to Hitler abi? ROFLMAO!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Bullfallo(m): 12:48am On Mar 28
CoronaVirusPro:


Now depends on your financial status, and you only have examples with the worst scenario.

Now make same example with a positive scenario. Average family’s with over 5 kids and all are successful.

I have seen on Nairaland where all members of the family are doctors and lawyers. Don’t you think the parents will be one of the most fulfilled humans on Earth? Nurturing a day old baby to success.

No one is compelled to have a baby, but be sure and certain that’s what you really want. So you won’t later be raising babies at the dying hour.



i know where you are going. Something like training children as a form of investment. When you talk about children and successful. You failed to be successful and you are basing your believe on faith that the children will be successful. If the parents is nor successful why would they think the children would be successful

9 Likes

Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by CoronaVirusPro: 12:57am On Mar 28
Bullfallo:
i know where you are going. Something like training children as a form of investment. When you talk about children and successful. You you failed to be successful and you are basing your believe on faith that the children will be successful. If the parents is nor successful why would they think the children would be successful

Children are not a form of investment. If you can train 5 kids to be successful, you definitely an already successful person prior to having them.

To have been opportune to train kids to that level means you already successful. You can’t use poverty to raise kids as investments. It takes money.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by MemoriesAndMe: 3:09am On Mar 28
It's a two-way street, you may or may not regret having kids. But, it may turn out lonely, scary and unfulfilling when you get old.

It may be difficult to find a lasting partner that will share same views with you as most women with African mentality would prefer to eventually settle down and be called a mom. So, you may eventually end up bouncing from one to the other if you don't want to be lonely.

Many people end up having kids but not all of them end up reaping the efforts they put in raising the kids, especially the fathers.

Some people end up getting married and having kids, they end up getting divorced with one of the parents taking the kids away from the other, implying one ends up lacking the feelings parents enjoy from their parenthood experiences.

Some people end up raising kids that end up growing to become wayward and end up being problems to them even at their old ages. So, would anyone say such parents are happy having kids?

On the flip side, when you grow up and no one knows you with any child at all, no one would even tell you before you start feeling inferior around everyone around you. When you get to your fifties and go to see people's families at their homes and their kids start calling you "uncle", their wives start giving you attitudes in case her husband is your guy and y'all want to head somewhere. Women tend to assume someone like that is irresponsible and may not want their hubbies to relate with you.

Don't even be surprised when all your promiscuous friends end up bringing all their sidechicks to your home - you have no kids and it's cheaper than hotels to be around you with their chicks.

Eventually, you will start reflecting and may end up just keeping to yourself and staying away from society as that may not seem like a fulfilled life to many people.

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Re: Will I Regret Not Having Children by Dainy1(m): 3:46am On Mar 28
Some people will come on this post and start ranting now. Even those that intentionally indulge themselves in abortion that have permanently damaged their womb and chances of giving birth and some that sacrifice their fertility to some spiritual occultic orth and exchange their chances of having children with money.
Even those that are longing to get married and have beautiful children but have not succeed yet.
They will all come here and start forming now. Just wait and see

9 Likes

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