₦airaland Forum

I will focus on the male gender because, most women by default are strategic about marriage.

Firstly, if your income did not improve when you got married, it is either you were not strategic or you entered a forward contract ( the risks in the later are higher). As a young man it is very foolish to marry because of infatuation ( which most people call love). As a man, marry because you need a companion that will improve the quality of your life, while you also improve the quality of her life. Marriage should be mutualistic not parasitic or commensal.

It is very foolish for a young man to make 250k and marry a woman that makes 60k , don't do that, as a rule, do not marry anyone that does not earn at least 60% of your total monthly pay, this should be the minimum, hence, aim higher. A man should cultivate a standard, and create a union that will uplift that standard.

...so how about the attitude? definitely you should do your enhanced due diligence before getting close and ask very important questions. Guide your marriage like you would monitor your portfolio hence devout time and energy to make things work. Avoid marrying 'potentials' as much as possible due to unknown risks ( people change and surprises are common in marriage).

Be strategic about this investment and do not let niceties cloud your reasoning. Limit to the barest minimum gifts from ladies that do not meet the criteria ( I nearly fell for this 😭 ), to overcome this temptation, always return the favour so that you don't feel indebted. Remember this investment may lead to success or failure of other investments, therefore, do not marry out of pity 😔 or guilt, set clear boundaries.

Finally, like my early banking days taught me not to extend facilities to people without morals even if I had it all figured out...so I am advising do not begin a relationship with someone that does not meet the criteria even if you tell yourself you just want to tap in and tap out... oftentimes you get stuck.

This was an insightful read ...

I tell men, never marry a broke woman ...
If she doesn't have value with evidence, not potentials, then she's not worth marrying ...

Forget all of this, "marry from the slums and then build her", ideology it's f.oolishness! ...

If her father couldn't do it, then allow her hustle and do it herself! ...

Fahvvy:
This was an insightful read ...

I tell men, never marry a broke woman ...
If she doesn't have value with evidence, not potentials, then she's not worth marrying ...

Forget all of this, "marry from the slums and then build her", ideology it's f.oolishness! ...

If her father couldn't do it, then allow her hustle and do it herself! ...

You grow with the speed of light if you marry a woman with similar income. There is a large room for you to start investing and building wealth early. Imagine getting married and you guys already have about 3-4 cars, you can imagine things and bring it to fruition without stress. You are not bothered with the prices of basic commodities which gives you enough room to focus on wealth generating assets

I completely agree, if you are doing well as a man make sure you marry from your social class!

Nice exposé.....but I think this only applies to a lady u re compatible with...one who believes that running the family is a joint business and she would not hesitate to contribute financially to meet family goals.

In a society where majority of women believe that their money is theirs and the husband's money is for both of them, it will hard apply this principal in reality...... Though, it can work with the few who did not grow up with this mentality.

ogashman:
Nice exposé.....but I think this only applies to a lady u re compatible with...one who believes that running the family is a joint business and she would not hesitate to contribute financially to meet family goals.

In a society where majority of women believe that their money is theirs and the husband's money is for both of them, it will hard apply this principal in reality...... Though, it can work with the few who did not grow up with this mentality.

most ladies who work and earn honestly know what it takes to run a home, hence you don't need to convince them. It is ladies from poor homes and bannies who have no legitimate means of livelihood that thinks her money is hers