₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
You're still not getting my point. You write that the whole marriage tradition should be abolished, and I countered that it cannot and will not be abolished because every society has their culture and traditions. In my post, I also mentioned that those practices can be abused, just like any man made system. The extortion from family members is one of the forms of abuses that happen in the course of carrying out our cultural practices. You can only call the abusers to order, not abolish centuries old identity pillars of a people.

When I say "abolish" I did not mean cut off the parent's approval. Technically you cannot abolish potential bride groom from getting approval from bride's parents, that's normal in every culture around the world. Parent's approval is necessary for a go-ahead, It is not an African culture, even the dowry payment was practiced in ancient Israel from time.

We DID NOT create it. Remember Laban tricked Jacob in the Bible, that's what they are doing in the South West & Eastern states. Pure Extortion. Thieves!

The "abuse" & "extortion" is the culture that we created that needs to be abolished. We created it OURSELVES to extort, simple!
it is not a century old identity pillars of any thing, families were looking for a way to enrich themselves, so they created it.

tosinhtml:
When I say "abolish" I did not mean cut off the parent's approval. Technically you cannot abolish potential bride groom from getting approval from bride's parents, that's normal in every culture around the world. Parent's approval is necessary for a go-ahead, It is not an African culture, even the dowry payment was an Israelite culture from time.

We DID NOT create it. Remember Laban tricked Jacob in the Bible, that's what they are doing in the South West & Eastern states. Pure Extortion. Thieves!

The "abuse" & "extortion" is the culture that we created that needs to be abolished. We created it OURSELVES to extort, simple!
it is not a century old identity pillars of any thing, families were looking for a way to enrich themselves, so they created it.

No permission from family is not needed anywhere in the world as a couple can just vanish and come back married and nothing stops that
A population of 216 million in your country so do you honestly think that doesnt happen in Nigeria or the world?

With me and my mrs her parents are dead, so how do i meet them? Her 5 brothers love me and have known me for 2 years so i only need to meet 1 elder in reality and im choosing. Her mothers side as they can compromise

The bride price is going to be something simple (repairs to the house of her favourite aunt) as she has no male elders left alive on her mothers side

Fenrir:
I have no problem a bride price, i think its bloody wonderful and i believe it should be legally mandatory worldwide as it would save a lot of women marrying deadbeats, if a man wants a wife and family he should prove he is capable of providing for them

The things i have a problem with are you only want to celebrate YOUR traditions

Interracial marriage means intercultural wedding so the best of brides traditions and the best of the grooms so 50/50 and not cultural domination from 1 side

If a groom is not Nigerian you let him marry you proudly as himself
If something is forbidden in his culture like prostration then you dont demand or expect him to do at all especially with all his people watching insulting his family to stroke the ego of yours

And i mean by greedy and selfish is the introduction process and who you expect to attend

Mother
Father
Siblings
Aunts
Uncles
Cousins
Friends
Religious leaders
Mentors
And bosses

Bleep that!! If not raised to do it, how do you expect a man to cope with it?

The groom and his people travel to the brides people with gifts and money and hosts its your duty to make sure the guests are comfortable with situation so it is just sheer greed and selfishness to expect the gifts and money then also demand who attends as it should only be who the groom wants to meet that day

Only mother, father and siblings are important

Kinsmen are only needed for a traditional bride price if a traditional wedding is happening, if not the immediate family can just give a list of whats truly important to them and the groom gets that

As nothing about a bride price is legally mandatory or set
Its only socially considered mandatory not legally, huge difference

ok…I wish you all the best..

The funny thing here is that we are all saying the same thing.

There are some cultures by some Nigerian tribes that are very unfair and ripe for abuse.

The good news is that many of these cultural practices can be abolished or updated to modern standards.

For instance, two tribes in Niger Delta only charge 20 Naira as bride price, then, you bring a list of household items. In modern times, the list has been reduced to
-bag of salt
-gallon of palm oil
-walking stick and cap for the dad
-wrapper for the mom
-two crates of beer.
*this whole list is less than 100,000 naira. Less than 150 dollars.


Now, it all depends on couples. Some couples avoid this by doing only a small destination wedding. Sometimes, if the family is educated, they remove many formalities of culture.


No culture is perfect- anything can be improved upon.

Fenrir, if you get married to an educated and financially stable person from an exposed family, you can avoid a lot of these unfair practices. But also be slow to criticise cultures

rapheal5:
ok…I wish you all the best..

Like my people my nationality is Norwegian but ethnicity is norse not nordic

The number 1 tradition of people is after the actual wedding at the celebration im supposed to walk up to her father or uncle whichever is the head and give a ring (a bracelet) and swear an oath that if my woman ever says the words rally the shied, i will go to war against the world for her

And even if my body is battered and broken and shedding my last drop of blood i cannot stop fighting for her until she says lay the shield down
As my people believe a man is his womans
Sword
Shield
Provider
And protector

And shes his peace, if my woman ever tells that father or uncle to return that ring it means divorce and the marriage cannot be saved

But will any nigerian family accept that tradition?
No, because you only care about yours

GracieX3:
The funny thing here is that we are all saying the same thing.

There are some cultures by some Nigerian tribes that are very unfair and ripe for abuse.

The good news is that many of these cultural practices can be abolished or updated to modern standards.

For instance, two tribes in Niger Delta only charge 20 Naira as bride price, then, you bring a list of household items. In modern times, the list has been reduced to
-bag of salt
-gallon of palm oil
-walking stick and cap for the dad
-wrapper for the mom

-two crates of beer.
*this whole list is less than 100,000 naira. Less than 150 dollars.


Now, it all depends on couples. Some couples avoid this by doing only a small destination wedding. Sometimes, if the family is educated, they remove many formalities of culture

No culture is perfect- anything can be improved upon.

Fenrir, if you get married to an educated and financially stable person from an exposed family, you can avoid a lot of these unfair practices. But also be slow to criticise cultures

Found my drømmekvinne actually and leaving for Hawaii to get married in 3 weeks

tosinhtml:
When I say "abolish" I did not mean cut off the parent's approval. Technically you cannot abolish potential bride groom from getting approval from bride's parents, that's normal in every culture around the world. Parent's approval is necessary for a go-ahead, It is not an African culture, even the dowry payment was practiced in ancient Israel from time.

We DID NOT create it. Remember Laban tricked Jacob in the Bible, that's what they are doing in the South West & Eastern states. Pure Extortion. Thieves!

The "abuse" & "extortion" is the culture that we created that needs to be abolished. We created it OURSELVES to extort, simple!
it is not a century old identity pillars of any thing, families were looking for a way to enrich themselves, so they created it.

Don't say things you don't know. Bridal lists were not created to enrich families because everything on the list has a significance. It is human beings that have turned it to avenues to extort.

When you want to marry (that is if you're not already married), feel free to refuse to buy what is demanded on the list. E go shock you

The difference between you people and me is im basically a caveman and i admit that
I struggle to use phones and computers to their full potential and break 6 or 7 in frustration a year

Im using this site on an xbox as i dont want it on my phone

You lot can use technology to its full potential but you get chased by bear or predator and your basically bleeped
I can kill the bear and tame the predator but with tech im basically bleeped

I was born on spitsbergen, thats 650 miles from the north pole so artic cold and i was hunting polar bears with a high powered rifle before 10 years old

I can survive and thrive anywhere in the world but my natural environment would kill you in an hour, you would not even be allowed to walk that island without someone following you with rifle as a polar bear will literally eat you alive, starting with limbs to keep the meat fresh

Your only chance to escape would be to get undressed and throw your clothes as the bear will stop to sniff each piece but then youd die of exposure and eaten anyway

Fenrir:
Like my people my nationality is Norwegian but ethnicity is norse not nordic

The number 1 tradition of people is after the actual wedding at the celebration im supposed to walk up to her father or uncle whichever is the head and give a ring (a bracelet) and swear an oath that if my woman ever says the words rally the shied, i will go to war against the world for her

And even if my body is battered and broken and shedding my last drop of blood i cannot stop fighting for her until she says lay the shield down
As my people believe a man is his womans
Sword
Shield
Provider
And protector

And shes his peace, if my woman ever tells that father or uncle to return that ring it means divorce and the marriage cannot be saved

But will any nigerian family accept that tradition?
No, because you only care about yours

That’s difference between here and there, The lord is your strength….Send invite if you intend to do after party in Lagos…

rapheal5:
That’s difference between here and there, The lord is your strength….Send invite if you intend to do after party in Lagos…

Atheist mate
There is no lord, Jesus was a pervert
The dirty sod went to town on a donkey the sick man
The poor animal got molested

Fenrir:
Atheist mate
There is no lord, Jesus was a pervert
The dirty sod went to town on a donkey the sick man
The poor animal got molested

You mean Theist right? cuz i believe there's God the creator, so tell me more about how Jesus was a pervert...

rapheal5:
You mean Theist right? cuz i believe there's God the creator, so tell me more about how Jesus was a pervert...

No ii mean im an atheist

Stop advertising your beliefs and ill stop seeing them as a joke
Your nationality mostly fails to understand having different beliefs or a different opinion and expressing it is not offensive however trying to force people to agree is offensive

Like how most of you truly believe your traditions are the most valuable in the world and only want to celebrate yours at weddings and mug the grooms off thats what makes you bigots

No culture or traditions more valuable then others, all are equal but different

All equally man made nonsense that dont actually improve your lives or are relevant in 2024 nearly 2025

Fenrir:
No ii mean im an atheist

Stop advertising your beliefs and ill stop seeing them as a joke
Your nationality mostly fails to understand having different beliefs or a different opinion and expressing it is not offensive however trying to force people to agree is offensive

Like how most of you truly believe your traditions
are the most valuable in the world and only want to celebrate yours at weddings and mug the grooms off thats what makes you bigots

No culture or traditions more valuable then others, all are equal but different

All equally man made nonsense that dont actually improve your lives or are relevant in 2024 nearly 2025

There are things you can’t change so rest and live your life…have a good day…

rapheal5:
You mean Theist right? cuz i believe there's God the creator, so tell me more about how Jesus was a pervert...

Mate, do you even know what fenrir is?

Its the son of loki and the grandson of odin
The wolf that killed the allfather and king of the gods and started ragnarok as odin abused the wolf and fulfilled a self fulfilling prophecy
Fenrir was my military call sign, i was the big bad wolf and predator the afgans had nightmares about

And i can give you 1000 reasons why your god yahweh is a psychopath IF he was real all creation gods are in all of those types of religions

Fenrir:
Mate, do you even know what fenrir is?

Its the son of loki and the grandson of odin
The wolf that killed the allfather and king of the gods and started ragnarok as odin abused the wolf and fulfilled a self fulfilling prophecy
Fenrir was my military call sign, i was the big bad wolf and predator the afgans had nightmares about

And i can give you 1000 reasons why your god yahweh is a psychopath IF he was real all creation gods are in all of those types of religions

You believe all the stories of odin ragnarok and bs but you don't believe there's a creator of heaven and earth, you are a hypocrite, you castigate others belief and proud of yours, tell me how what you believe in is any different from idol worshippers in africa...Isn't the same odin you ancestors sacrifice human and animal to appease....All the bs are online and on Netflix... Descendants of vikings...

rapheal5:
You believe all the stories of odin ragnarok and bs but you don't believe there's a creator of heaven and earth, you are a hypocrite, you castigate others belief and proud of yours, tell me how what you believe in is any different from idol worshippers in africa...Isn't the same odin you ancestors sacrifice human and animal to appease....All the bs are online and on Netflix... Descendants of vikings...

I dont believe any religion at all fella, thats the point, but it doesn't stop the stories being fascinating, i do enjoy reading and learning about different religions as people believe some bonkers stuff in this world, but belief is not required to enjoy the madness in the stories

rapheal5:
You believe all the stories of odin ragnarok and bs but you don't believe there's a creator of heaven and earth, you are a hypocrite, you castigate others belief and proud of yours, tell me how what you believe in is any different from idol worshippers in africa...Isn't the same odin you ancestors sacrifice human and animal to appease....All the bs are online and on Netflix... Descendants of vikings...

So did all countries and cultures at some point in history even Nigerians were pagan before the british brought you christianity, you all had 100s of gods and godesses

Fenrir:
I dont believe any religion at all fella, thats the point, but it doesn't stop the stories being fascinating, i do enjoy reading and learning about different religions as people believe some bonkers stuff in this world, but belief is not required to enjoy the madness in the stories

So you got attracted to the madness....

Fenrir:
So did all countries and cultures at some point in history even Nigerians were pagan before the british brought you christianity, you all had 100s of gods and godesses

No one is disputing that, i actually recorded a song about it narrating how your cousins enslave africans...

Fenrir:
The difference between you people and me is im basically a caveman and i admit that
I struggle to use phones and computers to their full potential and break 6 or 7 in frustration a year

Im using this site on an xbox as i dont want it on my phone

You lot can use technology to its full potential but you get chased by bear or predator and your basically bleeped
I can kill the bear and tame the predator but with tech im basically bleeped

I was born on spitsbergen, thats 650 miles from the north pole so artic cold and i was hunting polar bears with a high powered rifle before 10 years old

I can survive and thrive anywhere in the world but my natural environment would kill you in an hour, you would not even be allowed to walk that island without someone following you with rifle as a polar bear will literally eat you alive, starting with limbs to keep the meat fresh

Your only chance to escape would be to get undressed and throw your clothes as the bear will stop to sniff each piece but then youd die of exposure and eaten anyway

The same polar bear would die in the Nigerian heat.

What kind of person uses Xbox in 2024? Playstation 5? Hello?

Just take your babe outside Nigeria and get married. Simples

naptu2:
You should know by now that there are trolls that are on Nairaland to advance certain interests.

Troll hunter

rapheal5:
No one is disputing that, i actually recorded a song about it narrating how your cousins enslave africans...

Not my cousins mate, Norway. Had 1 colony and we treated them like equals

And if you actually learn YOUR history the British were not just coming and taking Nigerians the edo tribes were selling them to the British but its convenient how you all forget that
And know its wrong but all countries on earth have used slavery even you, it seems to be part of every countries evolution

And its also convenient where you ignore the part of the bible where it says for your gods chosen people slavery is ok with a list of rules on the treatment of slaves

How can white people be the cause of all evil when Africans were the first humans? We came from you? As race is mutations and adaptation to new environments from when our species left Africa a few hundred thousand years ago

Fenrir:
Not my cousins mate, Norway. Had 1 colony and we treated them like equals

And if you actually learn YOUR history the British were not just coming and taking Nigerians the edo tribes were selling them to the British but its convenient how you all forget that
And know its wrong but all countries on earth have used slavery even you, it seems to be part of every countries evolution

And its also convenient where you ignore the part of the bible where it says for your gods chosen people slavery is ok with a list of rules on the treatment of slaves

How can white people be the cause of all evil when Africans were the first humans? We came from you? As race is mutations and adaptation to new environments from when our species left Africa a few hundred thousand years ago

It's well...Rest and enjoy your weekend..

Fenrir:
Not my cousins mate, Norway. Had 1 colony and we treated them like equals

And if you actually learn YOUR history the British were not just coming and taking Nigerians the edo tribes were selling them to the British but its convenient how you all forget that
And know its wrong but all countries on earth have used slavery even you, it seems to be part of every countries evolution

And its also convenient where you ignore the part of the bible where it says for your gods chosen people slavery is ok with a list of rules on the treatment of slaves

How can white people be the cause of all evil when Africans were the first humans? We came from you? As race is mutations and adaptation to new environments from when our species left Africa a few hundred thousand years ago

It's well....

GracieX3:
The same polar bear would die in the Nigerian heat.

What kind of person uses Xbox in 2024? Playstation 5? Hello?

Just take your babe outside Nigeria and get married. Simples

Gaystation?

Skyrim was only on xbox

And there is no biological difference between a polar bear and grizzly bear except colour and diet, they even breed offspring called pizzly bear and both can survive in nigeria, its about adaptation and prey not heat

Fenrir:
Gaystation?

Skyrim was only on xbox

And there is no biological difference between a polar bear and grizzly bear except colour and diet, they even breed offspring called pizzly bear and both can survive in nigeria, its about adaptation and prey not heat

Are you serious?

The polar bear will suffer and die in any warm region. Check your facts.

GracieX3:
Are you serious?

The polar bear will suffer and die in any warm region. Check your facts.

How did polar bears and grizzly bears breed in wild then?

How were polar bears found roaming the hottest parts of america?

Yes check your facts sweetheart

GracieX3:
Are you serious?

The polar bear will suffer and die in any warm region. Check your facts.

.

If that was true id be dead from the heat here as im adapted for the artic temperatures

GracieX3:
Are you serious?

The polar bear will suffer and die in any warm region. Check your facts.

This is utterly ridiculous as zoos exist and many hot countries keep polar bears in those zoos, lions are from the heat but dont die in cold and wet countries

cococandy:
Don’t let me slap you

What’s this?

Anyway wheres this slap you offered?

Some men pay thousands of pounds per hour for that treatment from a woman, it'd be rude to turn down an offer of it for free

Fenrir:
This is utterly ridiculous as zoos exist and many hot countries keep polar bears in those zoos, lions are from the heat but dont die in cold and wet countries

Go troll somewhere else. Zoos keep their polar bears' enclosure extremely cold with ice

GracieX3:
Go troll somewhere else. Zoos keep their polar bears' enclosure extremely cold with ice

You cant keep an animal like that cooped up indoors 24\7 they get aggressive and lash out

Mum was a head vet in oslo 😁 and travelled the world for work, i was lucky enough to play with every predatory animal you can imagine in my childhood, guess that explains my affinity for wolves and dogs, aye dog eaters 😂