₦airaland Forum

eepeepook:
“If you love something, let it go.”

This is an amazing example.

advanceDNA:
I love women...
Without shishi in their pocket, they will put you under pressure, say u are wasting their time and make you work on their own time to achieve their own aim in life.............while the reality is that they have no where to go because their plans B, C & D is not set,

How can u want to come into my life without shi shi, to increase my expense yet you are making it look like you are doing me a favor..

Baba...give urself brain ooooo

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

immortalcrown:
Her desperation for marriage seems to be the secret of her love for you.

Marry when you are willing and capable, not because you are being pressured.

She is waiting on you for marriage because she has not found another man that meets her requirements. But you might think that she is rejecting good men for your sake. A woman who is desperate for marriage goes into it with a man not because she loves him nor because he loves her. She goes into the marriage because he is ready.

If she is yours, she will not be able to find another man until you are ready to marry her. If she finds another man now that you are not ready, she is not yours. Don't ask her to wait for you. What if she waits and you later choose another person?

immortalcrown:
Her desperation for marriage seems to be the secret of her love for you.

Marry when you are willing and capable, not because you are being pressured.

She is waiting on you for marriage because she has not found another man that meets her requirements. But you might think that she is rejecting good men for your sake. A woman who is desperate for marriage goes into it with a man not because she loves him nor because he loves her. She goes into the marriage because he is ready.

If she is yours, she will not be able to find another man until you are ready to marry her. If she finds another man now that you are not ready, she is not yours. Don't ask her to wait for you. What if she waits and you later choose another person?

abiolert2:
My opinion is this telling her to wait for another two years when she will be 31 years is not easy. What if you decide not to marry her, and you marry someone else there or back here in Nigeria, for me I think you have to let her know your current financial situation there in Canada, for her to really believe that you are very serious with her, send some of your family members to go and see her family and if possible pay a little token just to secure her trust and that of the family that you are indeed a son in law to be, if you don't have this plans , I suggest you just allow her to go. My opinio.

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

abiolert2:
My opinion is this telling her to wait for another two years when she will be 31 years is not easy. What if you decide not to marry her, and you marry someone else there or back here in Nigeria, for me I think you have to let her know your current financial situation there in Canada, for her to really believe that you are very serious with her, send some of your family members to go and see her family and if possible pay a little token just to secure her trust and that of the family that you are indeed a son in law to be, if you don't have this plans , I suggest you just allow her to go. My opinio.

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

omolasho:
Ogbeni stop this grammer o!
With your level of education and exposure, one would entrust you to make an acurate and spontanous decision abt this matter- well thats what premarital sex does; it weakens your zeal and makes you contemplate your life purpose.

You; your LIFE PURPOSE is the price.
she; YOU are the prize.

If her creed is not in consonate with your plan, LET her suit herself. because if you compromise and fail in your life quest she SHALL still leave you for a more discretional guy in future.

END OF STORY!

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Kobojunkie:
All these wombwatchers members,oga o! .... Biological clock this and that's . .even women of over 50 are now able to have healthy babies thanks to advancements in medical science. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

That woman should equally be worried about her financial and psychological health as OP is. Yes, OP should leave her alone, not because of her biological clock, but mainly because he is not on the same wavelength as the woman; love is not meant to be used as a cage to cage those who love us. Someone said, "If you love someone, if you love someone, set them free!"

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

Juliearth:
I think your girlfriend is worried that all her wait may be in vain as you may settle with a foreigner. Alot of Nigerians do that.


If you truly love her, you can have a small-scale wedding. Get her wedding list and she should make sure that it is hugely subsidised. Opt for a parlour traditional ceremony to save cost. Tie to knot in a court instead of a white wedding. You can delay making babies until you both are ready.


When you carrying out these marriage rites, it would be easier for her to relocate to your country. If both of you are hustling over there, the chances of succeeding would be higher.

NigerianAngelo:
Marry her immediately. She's right. And things could get better after that.

Time is important. It has a joy on its own.