₦airaland Forum

Nnamdipapa:
Run for your life.

The purpose of marriage is for the two to combine assets and benefit from the effect synergy. Not for two liabilities to combine or an asset with a liability.

You will regret bitterly ten years down the lane. Keep her as a fwb or gf while you build yourself and evaluate other options.

Omo you want make he keep 38yr old woman as fwb, you want him the woman to course him? If not interest just let her go

You met your wife when she was 38?

Allwell96:
That's the stage I married my wife and since then, no regrets. We've been married for over 10years now.

Celsony:
Omo you want make he keep 38yr old woman as fwb, you want him the woman to course him? If not interest just let her go

Depends on his age and if she has other benefits.

Are you from american?

Love800:
Shebi dem say 16 na under-age!

I nor con dey understand again oh!

Do it then come back to tell us.

Nnamdipapa:
Check around, you will find some working class ladies who are comfortable with such arrangements. Nothing is special about marriage or a woman living with you

Hmm! As long as you don't have a woman at home with you, you are not a complete man.
Forget the issue of wanting freedom.
It is a recipe for constant fornication.

ledaman:
Hmm! As long as you don't have a woman at home with you, you are not a complete man.
Forget the issue of wanting freedom.
It is a recipe for constant fornication.

You don't know what you are taking. You talk like a regular local Nigerian with no real world experience, I have a woman in the house more than 18 years now and I am in the best position to offer advice.

Why the hell do I want to be complete and what is your definition of "a complete man?".

I never ever want to be a " complete man", I want to be a free man who is not caged down by a woman or traditional family.

Are you the one that Added that picture?
You or the FP moving MOD

My own is,how can someone that is 38(both male or female be struggling?)

Except you are physically challenged or that you were successful but something happened.

But 20 years of adulthood,even if you aren't rich but you should be average

Truth is,even if I were a man,I will be wary because just after 6 months,pressure for marriage will come in.

In addition to what uyail said,dating young has its advantage
.

I married early,very early.i wasn't pressuring or reminding anyone or asking deep questions or testing or googling "is this man serious about me".

We will meet knack and go on outings . It was sex sex sex and billing. No witholding sex to test his commitment.

Same can't be said for a marriage oriented lady who will be calculating how long to date before having sex and having rules.i didn't play the 80/20 rule.



@gerrard59

Dimaya:
don.'t unless You're certain God is leading you, or you don't want kids.

95% of a woman's eggs are gone by 37. So, if you're wanting children, she might not be able to give you at that age. just keep that in mind.

Liesssss infact women of that age are more likely to birth multiple babies, you people should stop all this wicked propaganda against older women.

Good morning, Yes I can marry her. Can we talk if yes. Quote me and reply me. I will drop my Whatsapp number. Thanks

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

Nnamdipapa:
You don't know what you are taking. You talk like a regular local Nigerian with no real world experience, I have a woman in the house more than 18 years now and I am in the best position to offer advice.

Why the hell do I want to be complete and what is your definition of "a complete man?".

I never ever want to be a " complete man", I want to be a free man who is not caged down by a woman or traditional family.

Who is caging you?
I said earlier, you want to marry yet you needed freedom! You are a confused specie

ledaman:
Who is caging you?
I said earlier, you want to marry yet you needed freedom! You are a confused specie

Abuses and insults, what else do I expect ?

Nnamdipapa:
Abuses and insults, what else do I expect ?

No insult, just the truth
You can't be married and have total freedom cest fini.

Nnamdipapa:
Abuses and insults, what else do I expect ?

You wrote I talk like a local and no experience of the world you said.
You didn't see it as insult, probably it's a complement in your dictionary.
Park well abeg!

if you like her do it, no listen to rubbishes online, a friend of mine married 1

Esthered:
Why do you need online validation or invalidating to make to make your decision?

I thought love conquers all.

Marriage isn't all about love unless you want to cry premium tears.

shekauvsbuhari:
Marriage isn't all about love unless you want to cry premium tears.

Wahalur

bazoodo:
Hi everyone

Is it advisable to marry a struggling 38 year old woman? Yes she's employed but financially not stable. ?? Any pros and cons?

Thank you

get me her phone number
She is lucky she have me now

Before I change my mind

Esthered:
Do you mean if the woman was the one asking?

Ahhhh!

How does he want to head a home with struggling finance? His ego will not allow him to make the marriage work even if she's willing to marry him.
Where's Soul E and Princess Ure today....

The Bible says who builds a house without first counting the cost.

But doesn't being partners mean anything to you females ..


From my understanding, partner fo everything together ... I mean everything...

Silentgroper:
But doesn't being partners mean anything to you females ..


From my understanding, partner fo everything together ... I mean everything...

We understand partnership. Would his ego and patriarchy allow him or he'll always retort "is it because you have money"

The laws here doesn't protect us if such union goes south. So he had better get his finances together.....

My facilitator's maid was sent away from the house she built by her husband and he married another woman who lives with him in her house. She had to flee back to Lagos to start all over again as the couple almost killed her.

Tightpussy2024:
In addition to what uyail said,dating young has its advantage.
I married early,very early.i wasn't pressuring or reminding anyone or asking deep questions or testing or googling "is this man serious about me".
We will meet knack and go on outings . It was sex sex sex and billing. No witholding sex to test his commitment.
Same can't be said for a marriage oriented lady who will be calculating how long to date before having sex and having rules.i didn't play the 80/20 rule.
@gerra.rd59

The aspect of knack and bill is being practised today, but the vulnerability is wearing out. Men are arguing that they want virgins, but they still want to knack. The women are billing, so they don't lose out entirely. Generally, Nigerians are prudish in a hypocritical way.

Truth is,even if I were a man,I will be wary because just after 6 months,pressure for marriage will come in.

Well, this is one of the reasons some of us steer clear of our age mates so we don't get pressured unnecessarily. I am not a fan of wasting someone's time. Looking at it closely, marrying early has strong advantages. However, the state of the global economy and the rise in individualism have made it look unattainable and unrealistic for many.

Esthered:
We understand partnership. Would his ego and patriarchy allow him or he'll always retort "is it because you have money"

The laws here doesn't protect us if such union goes south. So he had better get his finances together.....

My facilitator's maid was sent away from the house she built by her husband and he married another woman who lives with him in her house. She had to flee back to Lagos to start all over again as the couple almost killed her.

She built ..

Did she have the house in her name ??


If yes, why didn't she pursue legal action??

Is she doesn't, I have nothing to say except the husband fvck up ..



How should the laws protect you females ..


Does the law protect us males in such unions too??

The ego and patriarchy thing is so stale and is not the reality in this modern age ..

I'm sure no guy would allow his ego and patriarchy nonsense get in the way of his woman wanting to support him ..

Your lots just use that to hide away...

Gerrard59:
The aspect of knack and bill is being practised today, but the vulnerability is wearing out. Men are arguing that they want virgins, but they still want to knack. The women are billing, so they don't lose out entirely. Generally, Nigerians are prudish in a hypocritical way.


Well, this is one of the reasons some of us steer clear of our age mates so we don't get pressured unnecessarily. I am not a fan of wasting someone's time. Looking at it closely, marrying early has strong advantages. However, the state of the global economy and the rise in individualism have made it look unattainable and unrealistic for many.

Men are being very disingenuous and selfish.
Before billing wasn't attached to men not until men will run after sex.

Ask women that bill men to their teeth why they do,they will tell you that men will run after sex.

Men want free sex ,and to discard whenever they wish then start talking of post nut clarity or the lady starts hearing stories when it's time for commitment.

If women insist on no sex till marriage,let women close their legs,and men close their pockets, they will not agree. Most women will accept this offer but men wouldn't. At least it's a win win situation no one lost anything,if at all someone did,if things go south,it's the woman,her time.
But men no go gree.

Oya pay me well before you see puna,men will not still gree.they will start grumbling on why dey need to pay for sex.

What men want is free and unrestricted access to sex while withholding and hoarding their commitment .

There is an age somewhere women will reach when they are tired of men they will just take up hookup or be mistresses of an alhaji and have their peace.

Tightpussy2024:
Men are being very disingenuous and selfish.
Before billing wasn't attached to men not until men will run after sex.

Both genders are selfish. Generally, many human beings aren't selfless.

Ask women that bill men to their teeth why they do,they will tell you that men will run after sex.

Men want free sex ,and to discard whenever they wish then start talking of post nut clarity or the lady starts hearing stories when it's time for commitment.

If women insist on no sex till marriage,let women close their legs,and men close their pockets, they will not agree. Most women will accept this offer but men wouldn't. At least it's a win win situation no one lost anything,if at all someone did,if things go south,it's the woman,her time.
But men no go gree.

Oya pay me well before you see puna,men will not still gree.they will start grumbling on why dey need to pay for sex.

What men want is free and unrestricted access to sex while withholding and hoarding their commitment .

There is an age somewhere women will reach when they are tired of men they will just take up hookup or be mistresses of an alhaji and have their peace.

Yes. Unfortunately, many men haven't or don't want to come to terms with this simple fact. Men want the milk without buying the cow. Fair enough, but women have realised that they are being cheated, so they price the milk rather than giving it out freely.

I don't believe in free sex, especially in the Nigerian context, and actually do advocate for paid sex. It's our hypocritical and prudish state that make our men to seek free sex yet condemn/mock the women for offering it. My wish is to check Southern Africa and the Caribbeans to gauge their attitudes towards "free sex".

Yes, many women can stay without sex. Even married women who ordinarily should be ready to have continuous sex with their husbands arrogantly deny their husbands sex.

Paid sex should be promoted. It's the fairest thing to do

Gerrard59:
Both genders are selfish. Generally, many human beings aren't selfless.


Yes. Unfortunately, many men haven't or don't want to come to terms with this simple fact. Men want the milk without buying the cow. Fair enough, but women have realised that they are being cheated, so they price the milk rather than giving it out freely.

I don't believe in free sex, especially in the Nigerian context, and actually do advocate for paid sex. It's our hypocritical and prudish state that make our men to seek free sex yet condemn/mock the women for offering it. My wish is to check Southern Africa and the Caribbeans to gauge their attitudes towards "free sex".

Yes, many women can stay without sex. Even married women who ordinarily should be ready to have continuous sex with their husbands arrogantly deny their husbands sex.

Paid sex should be promoted. It's the fairest thing to do

My niece is telling me of a guy she is in talking stage with. From all she has told me,it is her pant he wants to see. Shishi he no get.its house date they have been doing then he will give her Fanta he saved from party and his mother chinchin.

She asked him why he has never spent on her,he said money is not love. I told her to tell him that anyday he asks for sex,she should say,"sex is not love too"

Gerrard59:
Both genders are selfish. Generally, many human beings aren't selfless.


Yes. Unfortunately, many men haven't or don't want to come to terms with this simple fact. Men want the milk without buying the cow. Fair enough, but women have realised that they are being cheated, so they price the milk rather than giving it out freely.

I don't believe in free sex, especially in the Nigerian context, and actually do advocate for paid sex. It's our hypocritical and prudish state that make our men to seek free sex yet condemn/mock the women for offering it. My wish is to check Southern Africa and the Caribbeans to gauge their attitudes towards "free sex".

Yes, many women can stay without sex. Even married women who ordinarily should be ready to have continuous sex with their husbands arrogantly deny their husbands sex.

Paid sex should be promoted. It's the fairest thing to do

I don't believe in this balancing or kumbaya you do. When I criticise men for something,it's peculiar to men.when I criticise women,it's peculiar to women.

Men are selfish in the dating game.women operate on a win win situation with men. Men operate on a zero some game with women.

Women are ready to trade sex for commitment.or trade sex for money. They are ready to give and take. Most men that bankroll women are getting sex. Most men that are on committed relationships are getting sex in return.the only exception to this is when women collect transport money and don't show up for sex or put ketchup in their pants to feign period. All those petty things.but not the norm




Men want to have sex and close their pockets and also their heart.

So men are selfish not both genders

Tightpussy2024:
I don't believe in this balancing or kumbaya you do. When I criticise men for something,it's peculiar to men. when I criticise women,it's peculiar to women. Men are selfish in the dating game. women operate on a win win situation with men. Men operate on a zero some game with women. Women are ready to trade sex for commitment.or trade sex for money. They are ready to give and take. Most men that bankroll women are getting sex. Most men that are on committed relationships are getting sex in return.the only exception to this is when women collect transport money and don't show up for sex or put ketchup in their pants to feign period. All those petty things.but not the norm

I agree with this.

Men want to have sex and close their pockets and also their heart.

So men are selfish not both genders

So, nothing like true love? We seem to agree on one thing then.

Tightpussy2024:
My niece is telling me of a guy she is in talking stage with. From all she has told me,it is her pant he wants to see. Shishi he no get.its house date they have been doing then he will give her Fanta he saved from party and his mother chinchin.

She asked him why he has never spent on her,he said money is not love. I told her to tell him that anyday he asks for sex,she should say,"sex is not love too"

To be honest, this is a fair deal. But the same women are upset when a man comes direct with the "money for hand, back for ground" model. You know this model has further fueled the hookup industry and erased chivalry since women are all about money first. I watched a lady on Twitter who lives in Asaba lament that all the men there do is ask "how much?" No man wants to be in a relationship. You see where this is leading everyone to? So far, there is money, fvck and go. If it is fvck when there is money, Nigerian men are so good at it. In return, nothing like commitment again o. After all, all women want is money and show workings.

Gerrard59:
I agree with this.


So, nothing like true love? We seem to agree on one thing then.


To be honest, this is a fair deal. But the same women are upset when a man comes direct with the "money for hand, back for ground" model. You know this model has further fueled the hookup industry and erased chivalry since women are all about money first. I watched a lady on Twitter who lives in Asaba lament that all the men there do is ask "how much?" No man wants to be in a relationship. You see where this is leading everyone to? So far, there is money, fvck and go. If it is fvck when there is money, Nigerian men are so good at it. In return, nothing like commitment again o. After all, all women want is money and show workings.

Your last paragraph became rampant not up to two decades ago.
Men first cheated the game by seeing women pants without offering commitment.

"What are we now," was a thing as far as the 80s.

We didn't wake up one day and decide that no house date anymore.

It's since our grandparents time we always hear story of men chopping and going or getting girls pregnant and running.

This heightened hypergamy is a recent thing.

Where I did my HND,we had a lot of couples cohabiting.the men were as broke as rag. They will collect sex,some times twice of thrice a day.do abortions.still contribute money and where is the relationship today?, this supposedly loyal women are the evening newspapers men are insulting every market day.

If you as a young girl have two aunties in their late thirties that are single and you heard tales from your mother of how they were disappointed by a man will you want to make the same mistake or will rather follow the rich guy at least you know your stand.

When he is tired of you or when your aunty recommend you to a man in marriage you find your husband. Only a unsmart girl is single in her 30s

That is why I gloat at this arranged marriage men are ranting about. As if your relatives that recommended you whom you only see on family occasions know you are dating three married men at once
Or you trumpet it to them when you are travelling to do hookup in Lagos.


Sidechicks to married men are finding husbands and the married men even present in the wedding or supported largely to the wedding. Infact they have more successful marriages than normal good girls because they have heard their married boyfriend complain of their wives.their married boyfriends were coming to them when having issues with their wives so they know the dos and don'ts of dealing with men.Why won't Judy win yul? You have had two failed marriages and three children have come from your vagina already and you expect her not to know the manual of dealing with men?


I will advise any young girl I see who hasn't seen a husband to date a rich man but don't foolishly get pregnant or get STDs. And when you find husband, discard him.

The problem with women is that they can't separate boyfriend from husband. Men can seperate wife from girlfriend.no matter how much they love a girl,they will put emotions aside and leave her to marry wife.

Smart girls seperate sugar daddy from husband


Marry the girls you disvirgined and 90% of our dating problems are solved skikena

Tightpussy2024:
Your last paragraph became rampant not up to two decades ago.
Men first cheated the game by seeing women pants without offering commitment. "What are we now," was a thing as far as the 80s.

We didn't wake up one day and decide that no house date anymore. It's since our grandparents time we always hear story of men chopping and going or getting girls pregnant and running. This heightened hypergamy is a recent thing. Where I did my HND,we had a lot of couples cohabiting.the men were as broke as rag. They will collect sex,some times twice of thrice a day.do abortions.still contribute money and where is the relationship today?, this supposedly loyal women are the evening newspapers men are insulting every market day. If you as a young girl have two aunties in their late thirties that are single and you heard tales from your mother of how they were disappointed by a man will you want to make the same mistake or will rather follow the rich guy at least you know your stand.

I agree with the bold, and have thought of it as one of the reasons many young women aren't vulnerable. Their elders have drummed their experiences into their heads, experiences they had with men. This also applies to women earning a lot of money, but husbands are solely saddled with the responsibilities.

Sidechicks to married men are finding husbands and the married men even present in the wedding or supported largely to the wedding. Infact they have more successful marriages than normal good girls because they have heard their married boyfriend complain of their wives.their married boyfriends were coming to them when having issues with their wives so they know the dos and don'ts of dealing with men.Why won't Judy win yul? You have had two failed marriages and three children have come from your vagina already and you expect her not to know the manual of dealing with men?

I agree with the bold as well, judging from my female classmates.

I will advise any young girl I see who hasn't seen a husband to date a rich man but don't foolishly get pregnant or get STDs. And when you find husband, discard him.

How many rich men dey Nigeria compared to the number of young women around? At the end of the day, these girls will share one rich man, especially in states with few wealthy men.

Marry the girls you disvirgined and 90% of our dating problems are solved skikena

This is on point. But the sex here takes two to tango. At best, two teenagers. You wouldn't expect teens to marry themselves. The alternative will be for teen girls to say no to sex until they decide to marry. What benefit a man gets while dating such a lady is what I am perplexed about.

Gerrard59:
I agree with the bold, and have thought of it as one of the reasons many young women aren't vulnerable. Their elders have drummed their experiences into their heads, experiences they had with men. This also applies to women earning a lot of money, but husbands are solely saddled with the responsibilities.


I agree with the bold as well, judging from my female classmates.


How many rich men dey Nigeria compared to the number of young women around? At the end of the day, these girls will share one rich man, especially in states with few wealthy men.


This is on point. But the sex here takes two to tango. At best, two teenagers. You wouldn't expect teens to marry themselves. The alternative will be for teen girls to say no to sex until they decide to marry. What benefit a man gets while dating such a lady is what I am perplexed about.

Oga,high school sweethearts are marrying in the country where I reside.some marry after college,some cohabit and become partners for like a decade before marrying.

If they broke up,it will be a case of failed relationship or different goals or growing apart or travelling but not the case of a married man or a man in a committed relationship messaging a 19 year old girl for sex.

People,both men and women should marry young or if not financially ready build a relationship till financially ready.

This is how it's suppose to be.not a married man promising a 16 year old love and iphone just for vagina.

Or men in their late 40s who are struggling looking for a 23 year old FINANCIALLY STABLE girls for marriage in order to dodge providing (we all know the financial class of men that always insist on young girls )