₦airaland Forum

This thread is not to throw shades on the female gender but aimed at echoing the sad reality many guys must face if they ever want to marry.

The tradition of bride price especially in many African societies presents a significant and often painful dilemma for grooms in the modern era.

Men are expected to fulfill substantial financial and material demands to the bride's family to validate the marriage and legitimize their future children. This tradition places a massive economic burden on the groom.

However, the core of the dilemma lies in the stark contrast between the groom's sacrifice and the bride's premarital experiences.

The very women whose families command such high payment may have previously engaged in relationships where other men "graced their beds" easily and willfully, receiving the same intimacy without any enduring sacrifice or payment.

This creates a deep sense of injustice for the groom, who must pay exorbitant rates to legally "keep" his wife, yet perceives himself as paying for a pleasure others enjoyed freely.

This disparity fuels the feeling that men are forced to uphold a costly tradition even though the traditional cultural value of exclusivity (virginity) is frequently absent.

They too enjoyed her for free also but have only chosen to keep enjoying her permanently while you watch and wait for opportunity

It's not sad to me. As long as you are not a virgin as a man, u should not be worried about
Non virgins. I for one can't date or marry a virgin.

Instance:
It's not sad to me. As long as you are not a virgin as a man, u should not be worried about
Non virgins. I for one can't date or marry a virgin.

This is the way we have learnt to console ourselves as guys but deep down we know what's up. Where do you even want to see virgin marry?

Pray you find a fairly used lady cos many of them have been terribly used.

We just dey spend money on a lady wey another man don scatter.

So sad

I will marry a virgin.

jmoore:
I will marry a virgin.

Hilarious,when you yourself is not a virginatu.

Generally marriage is not worth it.

Caaz:
Hilarious,when you yourself is not a virginatu.

Ain't funny.
And I have never been with you.
Speak for the men you know.

otherway:
This is the way we have learnt to console ourselves as guys but deep down we know what's up. Where do you even want to see virgin marry?

Pray you find a fairly used lady cos many of them have been terribly used.

We just dey spend money on a lady wey another man don scatter.

So sad

CRY MORE..... ONLY BOYS THINK THIS WAY, MEN THINK ON HOW THEY WILL BUILD THERE HOME...... VIRGINITY OR NO VIRGINITY, EVERYTHING WILL END ONE DAY. BUT PEACE OF MIND NA FOR ETERNITY. BESIDES, PERSON FIT BE VIRGIN AND THE WHOLE THING GO JUST DEY STIFF AND DRY LIKE DESSERT WHILE NON VIRGIN GO DEY WET AND NICE ALWAYS..

Rexymania:
Generally marriage is not worth it.

Marriage has been existing for thousands of years.

Reach 70 years first before you try to demarket marriage.

Rexymania:
Generally marriage is not worth it.

Reallly, then u need the question the kind of home u re from. The laughter, the gist, the amebo, the ride and die. The quarel and the let me go home before my wife and children gets worried about me is not worth it... Menh, u need love ooooo

Instance:
It's not sad to me. As long as you are not a virgin as a man, u should not be worried about
Non virgins. I for one can't date or marry a virgin.

What you fail to understand is that Men Virginity is different from womens virginity.
Why do you think women reduce their body count and men increases their body count

It's easier for a woman to get laid than for a man to get laid, meaning if a woman has more than 1 body count she is a free distributor. But if a man get more than 1 body count we should hail him.

A key that can open any lock is a good key, a lock that can be open by any key is a bad lock

Everything in this world is a scam
We just try to live with it
Heaven is truly our home.
I don tire for lies and scam shit that promise happiness

gunners160:
CRY MORE..... ONLY BOYS THINK THIS WAY, MEN THINK ON HOW THEY WILL BUILD THERE HOME...... VIRGINITY OR NO VIRGINITY, EVERYTHING WILL END ONE DAY. BUT PEACE OF MIND NA FOR ETERNITY. BESIDES, PERSON FIT BE VIRGIN AND THE WHOLE THING GO JUST DEY STIFF AND DRY LIKE DESSERT WHILE NON VIRGIN GO DEY WET AND NICE ALWAYS..

Crinkum Crankum.. You have made you point by saying you don't mind paying bride price on a lady that has gone through many men and that in itself validates this thread.

Any other thing you are ranting about is totally inconsequential

tanigororo:
What you fail to understand is that Men Virginity is different from womens virginity.
Why do you think women reduce their body count and men increases their body count

It's easier for a woman to get laid than for a man to get laid, meaning if a woman has more than 1 body count she is a free distributor. But if a man get more than 1 body count we should hail him.

A key that can open any lock is a good key, a lock that can be open by any key is a bad lock

Please lecture that simp.

It's like you folks are just obsessed with women matter!

Every time, women this, women that. Shey una no get work ni?

If we check very well, the OP will probably be a TEEN who thinks everything about marriage revolves around knacking. Which one be "enjoyed for free?". "Fairly used" and all the nonsense descriptions that depicts women as commodities.

Marriage goes beyond knack. Being a virgin doesn't mean the lady will make a good wife. e.g ISRAEL DMW's wife. And being a non virgin doesn't mean she'll become a terrible wife e.g una mama, sisters and wives.

As far as I'm concerned, women are not commodities that you'll equate with all these nonsense descriptions. Make una dey respect women nau, abi una no get mama for house ni?

Instance:
It's not sad to me. As long as you are not a virgin as a man, u should not be worried about
Non virgins. I for one can't date or marry a virgin.

You lie. If you have dis virgin any girl.. You should not be worried. But if you haven't disvirgind someone's future wife,and you want to marry a non virgin wife. That kind person suppose worry,cux he is being cheated already

Exodus chapter 22 from 16 to 17 has provided a guideline

otherway:
This is the way we have learnt to console ourselves as guys but deep down we know what's up. Where do you even want to see virgin marry?

Pray you find a fairly used lady cos many of them have been terribly used.

We just dey spend money on a lady wey another man don scatter.

So sad

Your gender like paying higher , for overused..

ravensckar:
It's like you folks are just obsessed with women matter!

Every time, women this, women that. Shey una no get work ni?

If we check very well, the OP will probably be a TEEN who thinks everything about marriage revolves around knacking. Which one be "enjoyed for free?". "Fairly used" and all the nonsense descriptions that depicts women as commodities.

Marriage goes beyond knack. Being a virgin doesn't mean the lady will make a good wife. e.g ISRAEL DMW's wife. And being a non virgin doesn't mean she'll become a terrible wife e.g una mama, sisters and wives.

As far as I'm concerned, women are not commodities that you'll equate with all these nonsense descriptions. Make una dey respect women nau, abi una no get mama for house ni?

this is a man writing and not those boys. They think marriage is all about getting married to a virgin or not. Lubbish. Look for some one that compliments u and u are gud to go. U can marry a virgin and see hell and u can marry a non virgin and be ok . Besides, life is beyond Virgin or no virgin. People have moved on beyond that kind of rubbish talk. People are talking about progress not this foolish topic ... Majority of them are boys still in university or just finish there NYSC.... They don't understand nothing about life..

gunners160:
CRY MORE..... ONLY BOYS THINK THIS WAY, MEN THINK ON HOW THEY WILL BUILD THERE HOME...... VIRGINITY OR NO VIRGINITY, EVERYTHING WILL END ONE DAY. BUT PEACE OF MIND NA FOR ETERNITY. BESIDES, PERSON FIT BE VIRGIN AND THE WHOLE THING GO JUST DEY STIFF AND DRY LIKE DESSERT WHILE NON VIRGIN GO DEY WET AND NICE ALWAYS..

Bro the culture is destroyed .. porn and wokeness and materialism has finally destroyed the ideal marriage and relationship sense .. the west is poison 100%

Where Dem dey knack for free?

No person can come out boldly to say hin dey knack for free nah, either one way or the other you go sha pay for anything wey concern woman even if nah sweet😊😊you still pay.

ravensckar:
It's like you folks are just obsessed with women matter!

Every time, women this, women that. Shey una no get work ni?

If we check very well, the OP will probably be a TEEN who thinks everything about marriage revolves around knacking. Which one be "enjoyed for free?". "Fairly used" and all the nonsense descriptions that depicts women as commodities.

Marriage goes beyond knack. Being a virgin doesn't mean the lady will make a good wife. e.g ISRAEL DMW's wife. And being a non virgin doesn't mean she'll become a terrible wife e.g una mama, sisters and wives.

As far as I'm concerned, women are not commodities that you'll equate with all these nonsense descriptions. Make una dey respect women nau, abi una no get mama for house ni?

Nah me cause your misfortune?

Kobojunkie:
Historically and this applies to pretty much most cultures across the world, bride prices were paid regardless of virginity status -- for both virgins and non virgins alike. So I guess you need to explain to use where you get off believing that bride prices were only required if virginity was for sale?

No sir, the origin of bride price stems from the scriptures and it is only paid on virgins but in today's world, bride price is simply for marital commitment regardless of whether a lady is a virgin.

But then, will you say you are not aware that sexual chastity which includes being a virgin till marriage was the norm especially in Africa and even according to the scriptures.. So what exactly is your point?

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying! 🙄🙄🙄

That chapter which is directed at those of Israeli descent instead insists that a non-virgin not be offered as a virgin, it says nothing of bride prices being offered for virgins alone.

Even the term virgin used in the passage can be construed as single/never married woman as opposed to previously married or divorced woman or widow.

Exodus 22:16–17 (NIV) ​"If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife. If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, the man must still pay the bride-price for virgins."

​Key Point: The passage explicitly uses the term "bride-price" (or a similar translation like "dowry" or "marriage-price" and ties it to the status of a virgin woman. It mandates the payment even if the father refuses the marriage, indicating a fixed value associated with her virginity


So bro when I put up this thread I wasn't trying to shade the female gender in anyway but just stating the fact.

otherway:
✓ This is the way we have learnt to console ourselves as guys but deep down we know what's up. Where do you even want to see virgin marry? Pray you find a fairly used lady cos many of them have been terribly used. We just dey spend money on a lady wey another man don scatter. So sad

Historically and this applies to pretty much most cultures across the world, bride prices were paid regardless of virginity status -- for both virgins and non-virgins alike. So I guess you need to explain to us where you get off believing that bride prices were only required if virginity was for sale?

Myrepublic:
You lie. If you have dis virgin any girl.. You should not be worried. But if you haven't disvirgind someone's future wife,and you want to marry a non virgin wife. That kind person suppose worry,cux he is being cheated already

Bro I disvirgin a lady who is even married now.
I just don't enjoy de stress. Also loose guarded one gal bcuz she was a virgin.. All dis virgin thing no just count for me... As long as de lady is decent {not promiscuous} I'm cool with you.

Newsmills:
Exodus chapter 22 from 16 to 17 has provided a guideline

Stop lying! 🙄🙄🙄

That chapter, which is directed at those of Israeli descent, instead insists that a non-virgin not be offered as a virgin; it says nothing of bride prices being offered for virgins only.

Even the term virgin used in the passage can be construed as a single/never-married woman as opposed to a previously married or divorced woman or a widow.

Kobojunkie:
Stop lying! 🙄🙄🙄

That chapter which is directed at those of Israeli descent instead insists that a non-virgin not be offered as a virgin, it says nothing of bride prices being offered for virgins alone.

Even the term virgin used in the passage can be construed as single/never married woman as opposed to previously married or divorced woman or widow.

Check my post above

otherway:
The tradition of bride price especially in many African societies presents a significant and often painful dilemma for grooms in the modern era.

Men are expected to fulfill substantial financial and material demands to the bride's family to validate the marriage and legitimize their future children. This tradition places a massive economic burden on the groom.

However, the core of the dilemma lies in the stark contrast between the groom's sacrifice and the bride's premarital experiences.

The very women whose families command such high payment may have previously engaged in relationships where other men "graced their beds" easily and willfully, receiving the same intimacy without any enduring sacrifice or payment.

This creates a deep sense of injustice for the groom, who must pay exorbitant rates to legally "keep" his wife, yet perceives himself as paying for a pleasure others enjoyed freely.

This disparity fuels the feeling that men are forced to uphold a costly tradition even though the traditional cultural value of exclusivity (virginity) is frequently absent.

Must you marry? Why can't you leave woman for men that ready to go that route, have you even gotten your life together? Can you feed your mouth alone? I think that is supposed to be your priority and not woman.


THE TIME YOU GUYS SHOULD USE TO GATHER YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, IN OTHER TO TACKLE FUTURE CHALLENGE, YOU WILL BE USING IT TO WAIL ABOUT WOMAN 24HRS.

YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AT YOUR TWILIGHT.

otherway:
➜Check my post above

You didn't answer my question to you, which is, where do you get this idea that bride price should only be paid for virgins when historically— across so many cultures worldover— that has never been the case.🙄

Another issue with your OP is that it assumes that the insistence by traditionalists that men be full-time providers has something to do with or is connected to the virginity of a woman. I would very much like to understand also where you obtain this preposterous idea of yours from, given that the traditional model of marriage — and this is across so many cultures world over — insists that for the man to become the head of household in marriage, he ought to take on, fully, the responsibility of provider. Essentially, when a man marries a woman traditionally, he not only acquires the title of head-of-household but also assumes the role of provider for the woman in the marriage; this is irrespective of the virginity status of both individuals in the marriage.

Your entire premise seems geared towards perpetuating this victimhood mentality for men, without providing evidence for any of the insinuations made. I wonder if it is the case that you also believe somewhere in there that men are forced into marriage or something.

Fiscus105:
Must you married? Why can't you leave woman for men that ready to go that route, have you even get your life together? Can you feed your mouth alone! I think that is supposed to be your priority and not woman.


THE TIME YOU GUYS SHOULD USE TO GATHER YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, IN OTHER TO TACKLE FUTURE CHALLENGE, YOU WILL BE USING IT TO WAIL ABOUT WOMAN 24HRS.

YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AT YOUR TWILIGHT.

I will feed you for a whole year without even flinching.

Small thing una go dey yarn nonsense. Focus on the topic without being abusive.