₦airaland Forum

Take what is best for you and leave the rest

I think u are very much right on this. 101% right.

This is why many married men are not compatible with their wives today because of age disparity.

Vikto17:
A girl of 18 - 23yrs have zero financial strength, have no career of her own. she is coming in as a full time burden to you.

Majority of them are not mentally ready for marriage , they have no ideal knowledge of what they want.. she will love you today, wake up tomorrow and develop feelings for another,, many of them will hate you in future for taking away their youth with marriage..

Majority of them are not virgins.. they are sexualy exposed at a very early age..

In conclusion if a younger woman is not bringing finances, not bringing a good career and not bringing virginity,, how are they better than a woman in her late 20s or 30s..
As man of 33yrs l have dated a lot of them and God knows l will be deceiving my self if l will be taking any of them to the altar,, beyond sex most of them have zero knowledge about life and it realities..just tik tok and social media trends..
Guys who married their age mates and mature girls seems to be enjoying life to the fullest quietly and we are here trying to follow societal norms..
As a man think deeply about this in your free time.. l am done with all this small girls honestly..

Sucre6:
Bro, don't stress yourself trying to save them, allow them marry the whoring stage ladies nah them go regret am, I have dated 18-25 before and in all all still want to LovePeddler no matter what u give to them, and I have dated girls above that age bracket and 90 percent of them won't bug u with airtime, data abi my gas ton fininsh send money, because most of them are financially ok to a point and they are matured mentally and ready for marriage, if you marry a whoring phase girl, she won't even starting small or anything all she wants is what she want and if she doesn't get it, as at when due, she seeks it outside, in fact I no talk again because experience is a better teacher, anyone that want to settle for them, allow them, they go soon come nairaland open long thread they lament how their newly married wife is behaving

Advice to any man who wants peace of mind, avoid ladies still in their whoring stage when you want to settle down. Look at Regina Daniel smoking like mad just because she had issues with her husband, ladies who got married above 27 years won't behave that way even if she has issues with her husband

Vikto17:
A girl of 18 - 23yrs have zero financial strength, have no career of her own. she is coming in as a full time burden to you.

Majority of them are not mentally ready for marriage , they have no ideal knowledge of what they want.. she will love you today, wake up tomorrow and develop feelings for another,, many of them will hate you in future for taking away their youth with marriage..

Majority of them are not virgins.. they are sexualy exposed at a very early age..

In conclusion if a younger woman is not bringing finances, not bringing a good career and not bringing virginity,, how are they better than a woman in her late 20s or 30s..
As man of 33yrs l have dated a lot of them and God knows l will be deceiving my self if l will be taking any of them to the altar,, beyond sex most of them have zero knowledge about life and it realities..just tik tok and social media trends..
Guys who married their age mates and mature girls seems to be enjoying life to the fullest quietly and we are here trying to follow societal norms..
As a man think deeply about this in your free time.. l am done with all this small girls honestly..

if they are bringing fresh kpekus what else do you want them to bring ? Money?virginity? Pls be realistic

Ganicus676:
Finally someone shares my pain....



I met a girl this year that I'm 13 years older than, and the relationship has been mentally draining, the age range dey shine like sun, so frustrating, sometimes I feel like to cut cane and dash her some strokes...


I've all but broken up with her, but I want make we meet make I tell her face to face cause me no dey break up on phone....


No wonder I've always liked older women since I small, na marriage pressure wan make me date downwards and I never see any better reason to continue...

I married my wife at her early age and my friend who is same age with me married a lady who was a year older than him which some of our guys made jest of him, today my friend has had a very stable marriage, her maturity is always on display wherever you find them,
we that married very young wives have gone from one crisis to the other that has been mentally draining, our young wives were learning things they should have learnt outside in our house and we are suffering for it, those who couldn't cope anymore got separated or divorced.

You can date a girl who is still in her whoring phase but thinking that her youth and beauty will make up for her inadequacies in marriage is a big lie and emotionally draining.

I am talking from experience, for your peace of mind don't marry someone you will spend a good part of your brain cells daily trying to teach the vicissitudes of life and they will even be thinking they did you a favour by marrying you and blaming you later when they start getting matured of taking away their youth and putting them in hardship this is despite every effort you make as a mam to take care of them and all their burdens, the OP knows what he is saying.

Okoroemekah:
if they are bringing fresh kpekus what else do you want them to bring ? Money?virginity? Pls be realistic

You can pay for fresh Kpekus even in a brothel, if a woman gives you hell and make your life miserable she will stand in your front pointing that 'fresh Kpekus' at your face and instead of erection you will get a retraction of your blokos.

Be serious for once, this topic is important for some people reading this

ManknowThyself:
LoL

Age is not maturity, you can 60 and think as if you are 20. You can be 20 and be reasonable like 60! when it comes to women, marry with compatibility.

It's what they fail to understand. Sometimes back I met a 20 year old girl on this forum who is way more, interesting, intelligent, mature in mind and attitude to many of the older ladies. That she's above 30 doesn't make her marriage ready. In fact most of those 30s ladies mostly only want the status of "wife" and "Mrs" but aren't ready for all that comes with it. Compatibility is just the key like you said. Later the same people like op will open another thread of lamentations when they find out the hard way that they have been used and they married who no really send them but is only looking out for herself.

Okoroemekah:
if they are bringing fresh kpekus what else do you want them to bring ? Money?virginity? Pls be realistic

what fresh about their kpekus ... most of them have not less than 15- 20 body count... some of them have outnumbered some women in their 30s already

kiddaz:
It's what they fail to understand. Sometimes back I met a 20 year old girl on this forum who is way more, interesting, intelligent, mature in mind and attitude to many of the older ladies. That she's above 30 doesn't make her marriage ready. In fact most of those 30s ladies mostly only want the status of "wife" and "Mrs" but aren't ready for all that comes with it. Compatibility is just the key like you said. Later the same people like op will open another thread of lamentations when they find out the hard way that they have been used and they married who no really send them but is only looking out for herself.

There is always exception we are talking about majority here... out of 50,of this young girls how many of them are well behaved like the girl u met on nairaland?
Is just like saying boys of 20yrs are more experience than men of 40 yrs because u happened to find one brilliant boy

[quote author=Vikto17 post=137939282]There is always exception we are talking about majority here... out of 50,of this young girls how many of them are well behaved like the girl u met on nairaland?
Is just like saying boys of 20yrs are more experience than men of 40 yrs because u happened to find one brilliant boy ..
do what work for you bro,,u will learn the hard way... by this time last year l see even girls of 27yrs as old and expired... when reality hit u ,, wen u are Ready to finally pick a wife u must definitely adjust ,unless u will blindly go and experience it .

Vikto17:
There is always exception we are talking about majority here... out of 50,of this young girls how many of them are well behaved like the girl u met on nairaland?
Is just like saying boys of 20yrs are more experience than men of 40 yrs because u happened to find one brilliant boy

Same way you're labelling all younger ladies as bad for marriage because of your personal experiences. See do what works for you and let others live.

kiddaz:
Same way you're labelling all younger ladies as bad for marriage because of your personal experiences. See do what works for you and let others live.

were in the post did u see me make any generalization... u are desperately trying to drag an argument were there is none ,,, did l hold u on the throat and ask u not to marry them? why all this defense mechanism?
If you are a guy man u can't use one girl you met on nairaland to make a hasty generalization on a topic like this... date more ,, relate with more of them and then make ur assessment...and if you are not convince u can exist the topic to another one

ManknowThyself:
LoL

Age is not maturity, you can 60 and think as if you are 20. You can be 20 and be reasonable like 60! when it comes to women, marry with compatibility.

In most cases, it is. As people grow older and get more experienced, they become mature. The exceptions are those who have older siblings and were exposed to life very early. But that is why they are exceptions, not the norm.

ManknowThyself:
LoL

Age is not maturity, you can 60 and think as if you are 20. You can be 20 and be reasonable like 60! when it comes to women, marry with compatibility.

Na this same statement led Peller to abandon his parents home to go and camp a girl that is his senior,
then we all saw him having a mental breakdown on camera while Anthony Joshua, Mbappe and Hakimi still have their mothers around them despite all their money and fame.
You can spot the difference, Peller should be in his parents house buying houses and cars and making money while doing hide and seek with girls until he gets of age,
that's why in many societies in Africa you are not considered as a man until you get to certain age and perfom some rituals.

Maturity most times comes with age don't be deceived by westerners who gave us this slang but won't give driving licence to a 15 year old in their countries no matter how big and matured he is

Gerrard59:
But this is what I've been preaching about notwithstanding the social media rhetoric that it's better to marry very young ladies. Unless you're well to do, it costs more to marry a girl within the age of 18-25 as most are either in school, way too naive about how a family should be run, are unemployed or yet to be employed etc.

It's why you see some men lament that after marrying such a lass, they're compelled to set up a business or sponsor her to learn a trade. In today's world, unless you're a well established man (which takes years to accomplish or from a wealthy home), you need to marry a woman who knows how money works and earns a livelihood - which should be sustainable, legitimate and consistent.

I believe every woman, just as every man, should earn an income. It's an integral part of adulthood, so expecting an 18 or 20 year old to be an income earner so quickly is very unrealistic. For the that reason, as a man in his 30s, your best bet is ladies above the age of 27. At that age, she earns an income from a business or job and knows how to take proper care of herself as an adult before you come into her life.

Stop listening to social media illiterates who are largely unexposed, uneducated, embittered and frustrated. Real life is different o


Actually, it's social media rhetoric. Societal norms have changed to expect the woman to contribute to the household except the man is well established or they live in deep rural areas. Social media rhetoric tells you as a man in his mid-30s to marry an 18 year old, whereas the teen is yet to be employed or earns a consistent, sustainable and legitimate income. How many men are like Pa Ned who can singlehandedly take care of their household and even in-law expenses?

I've told you people many times - stop listening to illiterates who now have access to the Internet. Obasanjo caused it sha.

18-20 fallacy:
There are undergraduates at this age who are in trade while in school. Some of them pay for their school fees through income from their trade.

There are women who are selling in shops at this age. There was someone who brought his problem here asking us if he should marry this woman who was assisting him in his shop, she did not go to school but she was very good and well mannered.

There are 27-35 yo that are so entitled despite working for years.

The message that people must earn income to know how to make a home is a fallacy. It's even worse if you have a woman who, because she is earning money will buy you meals from outside because she has money.

I agree with you to get off the internet and meet real people because that is where you will see the properly brought up child. The internet is just a forest where unknown gunmen and women post. Some people think they will never find Virgins at a certain age. The Internet keeps misleading them

.

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everythingtall3:
Its funny how they are not even few, there are many virgins at 25 to 27 ... I know more than 3 but they are usually weird ladies , some are very cool but about 40 percent of virgin in this age brackets are usually weired.

Define weird here.

Unnecessarily cold lady, attitude issues, low libido. Lesbianism, some of them are not even decent, they are just virgin because they don't like dick penetration, they will sock you dick and do all sort with you but when it's time to penetrate they run away(I don't know what medical case this is but I know about two ladies like this, and they are still virgin till date)...

Don't even argue with me, I'm one those few that had firsthand experience with these set of people.

SixSeven:
Define weird here.

everythingtall3:
Unnecessarily cold lady, attitude issues, low libido. Lesbianism, some of them are not even decent, they are just virgin because they don't like dick penetration, they will sock you dick and do all sort with you but when it's time to penetrate they run away(I don't know what medical case this is but I know about two ladies like this, and they are still virgin till date)...

Don't even argue with me, I'm one those few that had firsthand experience with these set of people.

Virgins normally run away from penetration, it's a normal ritual of being disvirgined. I don't need to argue with you. What you define here aren't virgins. Abstinence from sex is who a Virgin is.

What I see is that society is running from the truth. I also notice that this is more of a southern problem than the north. It does not seem that they have been able to balance biology with real life. I don't expect the extremeties of the North but it will be 🤡 for me to say a teenager or youth with all those things on their body ready to explore should wait. Meanwhile if you had a goal you were looking up to as a woman or man, it was much easier to be disciplined and wait till it was time to pop the balloon than all these experiments.

Most people of the past married at a young age. Women married young, men married young. They were not fully independent but they had family support. The human race must have thought they were making progress if 60 years later, they don't know how to solve the simple problem of sexual discovery and putting themselves through so much trial and error just to figure things out. You are now waiting till 30-40 for what exactly? We don't want to till the ground, we want the fruits only.

The more we want to downplay the marriage institution, which is where you are free to explore your sexual desires, the more it is playing us IRL. You want a bae at 25 - 30 but you want them virgins. Let's assume they are virgins, you still complain that they are not experienced, they are afraid simply because you lack discipline. The bridegroom grooms his bride. I don't like western culture but that's the easiest explanation to give you. You are the bridegroom, she's the bride. You guide her, she follows you.
You don't eat your cake and have it. You want virgin women but you yourself are not disciplined enough to hold body from watering anyhow hole 🤡 You are mature enough for the marriage institution because it's a school that teaches you gradually. You need to be committed to that school first. And let it knock some sense into your head. School of Hard Knocks.

the OP said it is his experience.
The dynamics is shifting. It all boils down to the kind of gals dt come your way.

what works for or didn't work for him may not infact cannot be applicable to others.

ideally as we get older , we are supposed to be more wiser and must have gathered enough experience about life but the curve doesn't extrapolate as we expect it to be. You can be 18, 20, 25, 30, 40 and still be dumb.

this marriage of a thing has less to do with age and.more to do with character.

I dnt mean she kneeling down goodmorning sir and goodeveng sir the woman will be saying as character here

How stable is the lady emotionally?
How stable is she financially?
How well can she Handle mental stress?
Is she a chaotic person or the one dt brings you peace?
How well can she cope when you have and when you dnt have?
How well does she relate or manage people?
Are the both of them compatible?

A frnd of mine said he cnt marry a woman above 25yrs. He actually marid one less Dan 25. their marriage is still intact while some of dt same grp have seperated.


shebi Na my 37yrs old female frnd the husband separated Frm.her two mnts ago just for one flimsy reason. she marid wen she was 31 dts 6yrs ago

There are plenty young gals now dt are doing well in business now ooo. I use to underrate them till I hear som of them tell.me how much they make doin a physical bizness.

some of the younger serious ones grow in maturity as they handle cash and transaction in their daily biz not as we assume them to be as financial burden.

I bet to be corrected. A lady of 23yrs working at trade fair or lagos island say for like 5yrs is far more mature Dan some unemployed graduate ladies in their 30's dt has Neva worked before.

Why? Her regular conversation with different people on the street which is the real life itself has equip her to handle not just finance but also how to manage diff people.

All in all. go with what works for you.
either way the argument shifts , that's the individuals opinion not really a generalized fact .

Vikto17:
were in the post did u see me make any generalization... u are desperately trying to drag an argument were there is none ,,, did l hold u on the throat and ask u not to marry them? why all this defense mechanism?
If you are a guy man u can't use one girl you met on nairaland to make a hasty generalization on a topic like this... date more ,, relate with more of them and then make ur assessment...and if you are not convince u can exist the topic to another one

I picked up on your word, guy man. A serious man knows what he wants. In fact, a man at this age already knows this is what I want in a woman. If he sees it, he doesn't waste his time looking for others. He's focused on building his own version of what he wants in life instead of looking here and there.

ManKnowThyself

Gerrard59:
In most cases, it is. As people grow older and get more experienced, they become mature. The exceptions are those who have older siblings and were exposed to life very early. But that is why they are exceptions, not the norm.

People's experience and exposure ground them. Yes, exposure to older people can be a factor but what people get confused is that experiences are different. You can also be surrounded by moomoo adults when you are younger and you'll think that is our life is supposed to be. You keep going on with this mooomooo lessons until you are 40 years old and you can think for yourself. Some people start getting wise at 11 when life throws a curve ball at them and their mates are still under their mom's roof. That's why street kids have some life experience even though they were not refined through education. Some people read books that give them exposure. Life is never linear.

Guyman02:
Na this same statement led Peller to abandon his parents home to go and camp a girl that is his senior,
then we all saw him having a mental breakdown on camera while Anthony Joshua, Mbappe and Hakimi still have their mothers around them despite all their money and fame.
You can spot the difference, Peller should be in his parents house buying houses and cars and making money while doing hide and seek with girls until he gets of age,
that's why in many societies in Africa you are not considered as a man until you get to certain age and perfom some rituals.

Maturity most times comes with age don't be deceived by westerners who gave us this slang but won't give driving licence to a 15 year old in their countries no matter how big and matured he is

At the age Peller is, especially if you make reference to Africa, he is already a man. What is missing from what I see of him is that he lacks mentoring and guidance from MEN.

Where are the elders in his family? I ask the same question about Portable.

Children that are not cooked well become the bad food we smell on the internet. You can't hide your grounding. It will show in your behaviour offline and online.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81JPj8BqBBQ

Guyman02:
Advice to any man who wants peace of mind, avoid ladies still in their whoring stage when you want to settle down. Look at Regina Daniel smoking like mad just because she had issues with her husband, ladies who got married above 27 years won't behave that way even if she has issues with her husband

You are forgetting that her mother follows her to the club and is an older woman....

gerizzim:
the OP said it is his experience.
The dynamics is shifting. It all boils down to the kind of gals dt come your way.

what works for or didn't work for him may not infact cannot be applicable to others.

ideally as we get older , we are supposed to be more wiser and must have gathered enough experience about life but the curve doesn't extrapolate as we expect it to be. You can be 18, 20, 25, 30, 40 and still be dumb.

this marriage of a thing has less to do with age and.more to do with character.

I dnt mean she kneeling down goodmorning sir and goodeveng sir the woman will be saying as character here

How stable is the lady emotionally?
How stable is she financially?
How well can she Handle mental stress?
Is she a chaotic person or the one dt brings you peace?
How well can she cope when you have and when you dnt have?
How well does she relate or manage people?
Are the both of them compatible?

A frnd of mine said he cnt marry a woman above 25yrs. He actually marid one less Dan 25. their marriage is still intact while some of dt same grp have seperated.


shebi Na my 37yrs old female frnd the husband separated Frm.her two mnts ago just for one flimsy reason. she marid wen she was 31 dts 6yrs ago

There are plenty young gals now dt are doing well in business now ooo. I use to underrate them till I hear som of them tell.me how much they make doin a physical bizness.

some of the younger serious ones grow in maturity as they handle cash and transaction in their daily biz not as we assume them to be as financial burden.

I bet to be corrected. A lady of 23yrs working at trade fair or lagos island say for like 5yrs is far more mature Dan some unemployed graduate ladies in their 30's dt has Neva worked before.

Why? Her regular conversation with different people on the street which is the real life itself has equip her to handle not just finance but also how to manage diff people.

All in all. go with what works for you.
either way the argument shifts , that's the individuals opinion not really a generalized fact .

how percentage of 18-23 girls fall into this category? give me verifiable link or data of 50 Nigerian girls below 25yrs that are CEO of their business or have built any reputable organization by themselves? you are twisting everything around with the 2 percent u knew and that is not right

Zee

SixSeven:
People's experience and exposure ground them. Yes, exposure to older people can be a factor but what people get confused is that experiences are different. You can also be surrounded by moomoo adults when you are younger and you'll think that is our life is supposed to be. You keep going on with this mooomooo lessons until you are 40 years old and you can think for yourself. Some people start getting wise at 11 when life throws a curve ball at them and their mates are still under their mom's roof. That's why street kids have some life experience even though they were not refined through education. Some people read books that give them exposure. Life is never linear.

Agreed. There are many ways to gain life experiences, but as with everything, it accumulates as one grows older rather than amass all experiences at once.

SixSeven:
I picked up on your word, guy man. A serious man knows what he wants. In fact, a man at this age already knows this is what I want in a woman. If he sees it, he doesn't waste his time looking for others. He's focused on building his own version of what he wants in life instead of looking here and there.

ManKnowThyself

You still speaking off topic,, if l have gotten what l wanted this post wouldn't have existed... you love younger girls l got u,, it is perfectly your choice,, by this time last year l was even more radical than u..
at 30yrs l don't date any girl above 23yrs ,, l pushed and insulted women in their 30s..
gradually the orientation is changing,, l want to get married and none of them met any of the standard on what l wanted...
l sat down make a good observation and come with my experience and the lie l have told myself instead countering it with a superior facts u are here turning everything upside down... using just one girl u met on nairaland ,,help this make sense to me?

SixSeven:
18-20 fallacy:
There are undergraduates at this age who are in trade while in school. Some of them pay for their school fees through income from their trade.

There are women who are selling in shops at this age. There was someone who brought his problem here asking us if he should marry this woman who was assisting him in his shop, she did not go to school but she was very good and well mannered.

There are 27-35 yo that are so entitled despite working for years.

The message that people must earn income to know how to make a home is a fallacy. It's even worse if you have a woman who, because she is earning money will buy you meals from outside because she has money.

I agree with you to get off the internet and meet real people because that is where you will see the properly brought up child. [/b]The internet is just a forest where unknown gunmen and women post.[b] Some people think they will never find Virgins at a certain age. The Internet keeps misleading them

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😀

Sentiment apart, you have a good point brother. That liability aspect they are coming into a man's life with is something that shouldn't be overlooked.

She isn't coming with any value nor coming with even virginity, but just pure financial burden and responsibility. What will I be doing with such young women or ladies?

I once asked a girl one simple question and I quote: As a lady, what are you going to add to my life?

Lots of men are becoming more logical now than being sympathetic and sentimental about the woman they want to settle down with.

Reality will always outweigh sentiment.

Hypnotise:
There are still some virgins 25 - 27yrs, only that they are few

Abeg if you see one, link me up with her. For a lady to still be virgin at 25-27, such a lady has lots of self discipline. But not without making sure that the Ass hole is still intact because I have heard that some do collect from behind while keeping the front intact. Such a lady isn't different from those collecting it from front.

They are sweet with little baggage’s

Vikto17:
You still speaking off topic,, if l have gotten what l wanted this post wouldn't have existed... you love younger girls l got u,, it is perfectly your choice,, by this time last year l was even more radical than u..
at 30yrs l don't date any girl above 23yrs ,, l pushed and insulted women in their 30s..
gradually the orientation is changing,, l want to get married and none of them met any of the standard on what l wanted...
l sat down make a good observation and come with my experience and the lie l have told myself instead countering it with a superior facts u are here turning everything upside down... using just one girl u met on nairaland ,,help this make sense to me?

When I read your first few words and saw that you've made up your mind, there's no need convincing you with whatever conclusions you already have made up.

Your research of a very limited sample size can never be a representation of the world. But one thing I have learned in life is LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. When you get to that point on life, you will be able to seive the wheat from the chaff or the other way round. Do what works for you. I wish you well.