₦airaland Forum

pansophist:
Men usually go through this phase of not being desired by women, then as they grow and become established in finances and personal sophistication, their mind did not evolve as well.

The inferiority complex of being overly rejected since teens follows him to the 30’s, hence, he tolerates issues like the poster, something a man that always have female abundance from his teens (eg due to his looks) will never tolerate.

How can you be sponsoring someone and the person is dictating the tunes? It’s like you are just a gatekeeper to your money, not the owner.

She spends more percentage of your financial worth, and blaming you for not meeting up her “high taste”, instead of appreciation and reduce her burden.

Work on your self-worth man. No self-respecting man will tolerate, talk more of accept this.

I don’t think you can repair this relationship, the foundation is built on sand. You need to dump her. Go look for a woman that won’t suffocate you with bills, especially when she is not your wife.

Respect yourself man.

A4alpha:
Oga don't bring very private issues such as this to the public they will soon confuse you, you should be man enough to make a firm decision or don't you have boundaries? Real have are guided by the standard they set as guiding principle of which no man decides for them.

Wake up!!
You are not yet married but you already have a failed marriage, and all faults are on you due to lack of coordination and management skill to head a home.

As for your question, this does not qualify for a red flag because as you make your bed so you lay on it, you lead her into this entitlement by too much disclosure on your part, real men don't tell it all. Again you haven't said she is wayward (every men redflag) if she is good oga keep her but you must work on yourself! you have a lot of work to do in other to change the narrative and possibly shit test her to really determine if she's the woman for you sir.

My one dime.
Merry Christmas

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

muyico:
you first defined money as loves to her! When you cant cont. with it, why you start it in first place?? paying gf sch fee!

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need , I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

Evangelisttj:
The challenge now is that you will be sort of “scared” to leave her because of how far you have gone in expenses.

SatanKeepOff:
✓ Please I need advice.
I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.
At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.
For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.
Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.
Please, I need sincere advice. Am I wrong? Is this a red flag? What should I do?

SatanKeepOff:
Its not like i just jumped at it. When i got to their house, i discovered that they need help... her dad is late and i felt i should help her mum to handle my partners school expenses since her elder brother is in school too and i felt it will be too much on her mum

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

slimman007:
Men like you don't need pity.How on earth will you pay a lady that has entitlement and bunch of liability school fees,are you his parent.so you are carried away by breast,bum bum and banging body or the different sex style she is giving you without examining her character.l keep saying most of the marriage that crash after few years the red flags are there from day one just that either the man or the woman choose to ignore.

A woman you are yet to marry has already start giving you issues just imagine you have financial challenges tomorrow when you married her how will she react to you.
I am certain if you marry her just know you will be miserable all through the marriage infact it will not last.
If you like go ahead and marry an ungrateful woman because she is giving you head now.Your body go tell you las las

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice. I have been thinking about this since yesterday

wildcatter23:


Listen!

I get you!

You are already in a mess. But let me tell you a story. A family member of mine practically raised a lady from humble background. But all he did was never enough.

He sponsored her education and that of her siblings, then he placed the mum on salary.

Yet, this guy decided to take stock of this life and found something.....

He, too, was also from a humble background who through sheer daint of hard work and determination became successful.

He discovered that after he got prosperous, he decided to invite a new Partner with nothing to add or offer him. But by association with this partner, he is bound to share his money and success with but he gets nothing in return.

What annoys him most was that after hustling, this partner feels entitled to his cash like he practically works everyday and hands his paycheck over so that peace would reign.

There was a contract he got to build a house and boys quarters included too was money to purchase the land. He was a trusted fellow.

He questioned the girlfriend what he should do. The lady gave him a list of things to buy, a Murano SUV, clothes, and stuff but nothing about buying land and building that property....

This guy did the unthinkable.

He broke up with this lady even though she was pregnant with a child for him.

He told me back then that she is not an asset. I didn't get him then but I do now. This happened 25 years ago.

So what's my point?

You should have decided by now what you want to do with this barrage of advice of everyone here. This is a public space, agrees. But one thing is certain, moving on with this lady is going to buy you a load of grief and pain.

SatanKeepOff:
Please I need advice.

I met my fiancée early 2025. We started dating and, with time, I felt she was someone I could marry. I opened up to her and also informed her mum about my intention to marry her daughter. Later, I went with my family to see her family. We all had a good meeting. I clearly stated that our visit was only for knocking on the door, not introduction, and that I would return later for proper introduction, collection of marriage list, bride price, and then fix a wedding date.

At the time we met, she was in her final year in a private university. I took over 100% of her school fees and all related academic expenses, which is quite expensive. Because of this responsibility, I had to limit other expenses.

For example:
• I didn’t buy her a birthday gift
• I didn’t give her a Christmas gift
This was because she had already informed me of a large amount needed to sort her academic papers, which I agreed to pay.

However, despite this, she now calls me stingy. She says my money is supposed to be our money. She also complains that I don’t take care of her parents and her younger sister.

This is where my concern is. I know how much I am spending on her education, and that has been my main focus. Yet, she still feels it’s not enough and keeps demanding more.

Now I’m having cold feet. I feel she is becoming too entitled to my finances, and honestly, I’m already getting tired of the relationship.

Please, I need sincere advice.
Am I wrong?
Is this a red flag?
What should I do?

SatanKeepOff:
Thanks for your contributions.

I said i am getting tired because she constantly tells me that i am stingy. someone who pays your school fees sorting fees etc?

Sorry there is this other one, she complains that i am supposed to send her money to buy food items for my house and not me going to the market to buy them myself.

Mcslize:
Stop dating broke girls. Go for a lady that possess the spirit of gratefulness and digitally inclined.

What I mean by digitally inclined is a lady that can put her brain to good use to make legit money online. Ladies like that are resourceful, understand what it takes to earn even 1 naira and know the true value of money.

Such ladies, if you give them even 1 naira, they will thank you from now till tomorrow because they know the true value of money and will even go as far as investing in you too just as you invest in her.

For instance, ladies that trade Forex. Such ladies know how difficult it takes to perfect her trading skills and start making money from trading. They rack their brains analysing charts just to trade from Monday to Friday.

We also have ladies that create YouTube contents. It takes a lady with brain to make videos and edit them and upload for people to watch by teaching them one thing or the other. I fancy ladies like that, that put their brains to good use to make money.

They are very resourceful and grateful for every little help a man offers them.

But you see those ones that has nothing doing? They can't put their brains to good use and learn how to make money, run away from them. Reason being that, such ladies are very entitled and ungrateful. They do not know the effort one puts into making money. When you give them money, they act entitled and ungrateful.

Focus on looking for ladies that are digitally inclined who possess skills and jobs that require brain work. Those ones seem more resourceful than the idle ones. The only thing they know is looking for men that will rescue them from poverty or men they want to use as an escape route.

I am attracted to ladies that have skills and jobs that require brain work, cuz those ones will cherish every little thing you offer them cuz they know life is not easy.

I have given you my little advice based on my experience in life.