₦airaland Forum

Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

Mikedel80:
Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

Ask her if she’s still interested in making things work out in your marriage, sit down and talk, from her response you’ll get the next step on what to do… except if you’re no longer interested in the marriage, then it’ll be your decision solely but I advise you have a discussion with her her on the matter for the sake of your child

Mikedel80:
✓ Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

From what you posted, what is clear is that you caused your wife to lose respect for you first. If you had worked with her towards adequately resolving the problems she kept raising, she may have gradually regained respect for you and had no more reasons to resist or argue with you. So, yes, you were not a good husband to her. 🤔🤔

I would recommend that since you both already checked out on each other at this point, divorce as soon as possible, rather than continue pouring precious time and life energy into an already leaking bucket. You should both go your separate ways so you can find love and fulfillment through other means or with other partners. 🥱🥱

You could consider patching things like our grandparents and parents did but we have more than enough data today to know they were not happy even at that. And with just this one life to live, you need to decide whether you want to live happy or miserable with someone you don't like but have to force yourself to tolerate. 🥱🥱

As for the children, joint custody is the way to go with the kids spending 50% of their time with each parent so they can receive love of both parents regardless. 🥱🥱

[quote author=Mikedel80 post=138030983]Please my people help judge this family matter..............we will need to hear from the other side

If you no longer "like her"...

And you are "tired" of the marriage. Don't you think you should find happiness elsewhere instead of living a miserable life?

If it's not working move on. I can't imagine what it would feel like living with a partner you don't speak with for a year.

No love like or connection!

brain54:
✓ If you no longer like her...
And you are tired of the marriage. Don't you think you should find happiness elsewhere instead of living a miserable life?
If it's not working move on. I can't imagine what it would feel like living with a partner you don't speak with for a year!

Majority of our ancestors did exactly. That is why many of them could never stop cheating on their wives --- yes, even those in polygamous marriages were not exempt from the foolishness -- even until the end. They were very miserable in marriage. 🥱🥱🥱

Go and sleep outside if conji is disturbing you. I have a friend who said trying to sleep outside made him finally appreciate his wife. Maybe the same might happen to you. At worst, it will give you a clear mind to handle matters.

Mikedel80:
Please my people help judge this family matter.
The truth of the matter is that I have not had sex with my wife for one year now and we live in the same house. The problem is that she killed the chemistry. My dick no longer stands for her. I'm not moved at all even if she is naked. I've lost the attraction and hence the erection for her. The reason is because she became stubborn, disrespectful and not submissive. She argues too much and ready to be combative. She no longer stays in her feminine state. As a result I lost the sexual urge I use to have for her. So I don't touch her It's more than a year we made love and we no longer talk to each other. I don't even know if I can ever have erection for her again. I used to like her when we newly got married. But I no longer like her again. My thing stands very well outside but can't stand for her. I'm tired of the marriage. My not having erection for her is natural. She caused it. I'm not the cause.
What do you think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

You said I caused her to lose respect for me. You maybe correct to certain extent. It's because I'm gentleman if not, I would have beaten her up during one of those her rubbish behaviours. But I let things slide and handled it in a gentleman's way

Kobojunkie:
From what you posted, what is clear is that you caused your wife to lose respect for you for you first. If you had worked with her towards adequately resolving the problems she kept raising, she may have gradually regained respect for you and has no more reasons to resist you and argue with you. So, yes, you were not a good husband to her. 🤔🤔

I would recommend that since you both already checked out on each other at this point-- divorce as soon as possible-- , rather than continue pouring precious time and life energy into an already leaking bucket. You should both go your separate ways so you can find love and fulfillment through other means or with other partners. 🥱🥱

You could consider patching things like our grandparents and parents did but we have more than enough evidence to know they were not happy even at that. And with just this one life to live, you need to decide whether you want to live happy or miserable with someone you don't like but have to force yourself to tolerate. 🥱🥱

As for the children, joint custody is the way to go with the kids spending 50% of their time with each parent so they can receive love of both parents regardless. 🥱🥱

You shouldn't even be coming here to ask for people's opinions... When the love and attraction is no more, it's a sign that it's time you go your separate ways rather than living miserable lives together.

Instead of cheating on her, sit her down and open up to her about how you think it's best you both go your separate ways... Or you can even call a family meeting and break the news to them.

I can't tell you to divorce her, but at the end of the day, the ball is in your court.

I truly need this public opinion. People know alot and they can make you see things in another perspectives you never thought of. Some times it helps. It helps look at things in a holistic way
You then conclude and take actions

The problem is that she is a parrot. Before you talk one, she don talk 100. I can't even sit her down to talk to her. I've sworn never to have any discussion with her. She is manipulative also.

floss:
Ask her if she’s still interested in making things work out in your marriage, sit down and talk, from her response you’ll get the next step on what to do… except if you’re no longer interested in the marriage, then it’ll be your decision solely but I advise you have a discussion with her her on the matter for the sake of your child

Mikedel80:
✓ You said I caused her to lose respect for me. You maybe correct to certain extent. It's because I'm gentleman if not, I would have beaten her up during one of those her rubbish behaviours. But I let things slide and handled it in a gentleman's way

You made it seem the animosity that resulted in her actions came out of no where, but it usually never does, especially with women. It builds over time. What that means your gentlemanly self was, in fact, a literal arsehole to this woman to the point she began despising you to the point of going at you. So, yeah, you were not a good husband at all. 🥱🥱🥱

You may have done a lot to appear a good man to outside but were a literal arsehole for a while to the woman you were married to. 🥱🥱🥱

Nobody is perfect. I've not been married before. So I lack experience. I'm learning on the job. But as far as I know, I'm not an asshole. I'm a good man

Kobojunkie:
You made it seem the animosity that resulted in her actions came out of no where, but it usually never does, especially with women. It builds over time. What that means your gentlemanly self was, in fact, a literal arsehole to this woman to the point she began despising you to the point of going at you. So, yeah, you were not a good husband at all. 🥱🥱🥱

You may have done a lot to appear a good man to outside but were a literal arsehole for a while to the woman you were married to. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
Nobody is perfect. I've not been married before. So I lack experience. I'm learning on the job

This has nothing to do with perfection but about being a good husband, something any intentional man can achieve with discipline and fervor. 🥱🥱

And clearly, you did not achieve that with your wife, hence the reason why you brought us the question. That woman did not change overnight.... something triggered that change in her overtime and if you are honest with yourself, you will at least admit that you had a hand in making her that way about you. 🥱🥱🥱

You're making it look like she is a saint. She has done many rubbish that I had to put up with and compromised. I didn't turn bad. I didn't change my characters. I didn't turn abusive. I didn't start insulting her. I let things slide. But e reach her turn, she turn abusive, combative, disrespectful and stubborn. I spent the millions of Naira to marry her. So she doesn't understand what marriage is. If she had brought some millions for the marriage expenses, maybe she will respect the marriage

Kobojunkie:
This has nothing to do with perfection but about being a good husband which any intentional man can achieve. And clearly, you did not achieve that with your wife, hence the reason why you brought us the question. That woman did not change overnight.... something triggered that change in her overtime and if you are honest with yourself, you will at least admit that you had a hand in making her that way about you. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ You're making it look like she is a saint. She has done many rubbish that I had to put up with and compromised. I didn't turn bad.
✓ I didn't change my characters. I didn't turn abusive. I didn't start insulting her. I let things slide. But e reach her turn, she turn abusive, combative, disrespectful and stubborn. I spent the millions of Naira to marry her. So she doesn't understand what marriage is. If she had brought some millions for the marriage expenses, maybe she will respect the marriage

1. Again, you continue to use words that have nothing to do with human beings. 🙄🙄

Your wife does not have to be a saint in this. She merely needs to be a good wife, and none of your complaints regarding her point to her being a bad wife. So, you literally gave me nothing to indicate that she was any of that to you. 🥱🥱

2. Absolutely none of these makes you a good husband though. 🥱🥱🥱

Don’t let your wife stop you from having a side chick..I hope you won’t be pissed,if you find out she’s cheating too?..

Mikedel80:
Please my people help judge this family matter.
ou think I should do guys cos we have a son together and we're legally married.

Be careful of what you eat in the house...even Government supports widows

So until I kill myself in the process of becoming a good husband, then you will give me an award. Whatever, the point is that I feel nothing for her now. I don't know how we can carry on

Kobojunkie:
1. Again, you continue to use words that have nothing to do with human beings. 🙄🙄

Your wife does not have to be a saint in this. She merely needs to be a good wife, and none of your complaints regarding her point to her being a bad wife. So, you literally gave me nothing to indicate that she was any of that to you. 🥱🥱

2. Absolutely none of these makes you a good husband though. 🥱🥱🥱

I don't even care what she does. Like I don't even look or listen. I'm totally not interested in her affairs

Dzzzz:
Don’t let your wife stop you from having a side chick..I hope you won’t be pissed,if you find out she’s cheating too?..

Mikedel80:
✓ So until I kill myself in the process of becoming a good husband, then you will give me an award. Whatever, the point is that I feel nothing for her now. I don't know how we can carry on

1. I already told you that you are best getting a divorce at this point since your combined actions have already resulted in deep-seated animosity that you two are likely never to return from. 🥱🥱🥱

I also made clear that I could never recommend you both try to patch things up or try to manage each other as you are. That sheet did not work out for our grandparents and parents..I can't recommend it to anyone out there including yourself knowing how intertwined we all really are in community. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
I don't even care what she does. Like I don't even look or listen. I'm totally not interested in her affairs

Brother To Brother-Go get yourself one fine lady with big bumper..It helps sometimes and can put you back on track..For the sake of your boy..

That's really serious. I'll see to that. Maybe I'll call a family meeting this January. If there are no ways to go around it, then the inevitable will happen

Kobojunkie:
1. I already told you that you are best getting a divorce at this point since your combined actions have already resulted in deep-seated animosity that you two are likely never to return from. 🥱🥱🥱

I also made clear that I could never recommend you both try to patch things up or try to manage each other as you are. That sheet did not work out for our grandparents and parents..I can't recommend it to anyone out there including yourself knowing how intertwined we all really are in community. 🥱🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
✓ That's really serious. I'll see to that. Maybe I'll call a family meeting this January. If there are no ways to go around it, then the inevitable will happen

What do you need a family meeting for when the writing is clearly on the wall? And what are the possible ways around this except for you to continue living with a woman is nothing but a roommate with a Mrs badge? And that resentment that caused her to lash out on you... do you think you can basically make it disappear as if it doesn't exist? 🥱🥱

Anyways, do you have children? 🥱🤔

Trust me nah. I'm good bad guy. What is paining me is the amount of money and time that I have invested in the marriage. What will I tell my people, my community , my village people, my umunna. It is not easy to dissolve a marriage. Marriage is just not worth the stress.

Dzzzz:
Brother To Brother-Go get yourself one fine lady with big bumper..It helps sometimes and can put you back on track..For the sake of your boy..

Yes. Just one

Kobojunkie:
What do you need a family meeting for when the writing is clearly on the wall? And what are the possible ways around this except for you to continue living with a woman is nothing but a roommate with a Mrs badge? And that resentment that caused her to lash out on you... do you think you can basically make it disappear as if it doesn't exist? 🥱🥱

Anyways, do you have children? 🥱🤔

Mikedel80:
✓ Yes. Just one

Does your wife work? 🥱🥱

No. She sells stuffs online

Kobojunkie:
Does your wife work? 🥱🥱

Mikedel80:
Trust me nah. I'm good bad guy. What is paining me is the amount of money and time that I have invested in the marriage. What will I tell my people, my community , my village people, my umunna. It is not easy to dissolve a marriage. Marriage is just not worth the stress.

You can tell them to eat shit…Wetin concern umunna and community with marriage eh?..If you go kpai for this marriage level,umunna go drink,chop and go home..

Mikedel80:
No. She sells stuffs online

Oh, then you may need to take full custody of the child-- she should pay your child support during the period-- until she is able to get her feet on the ground to the point that joint custody then makes sense. 🥱🥱

I swr. They go come chop rice and drink beer

Dzzzz:
You can tell them to eat shit…Wetin concern umunna and community with marriage eh?..If you go kpai for this marriage level,umunna go drink,chop and go home..

Mikedel80:
I swr. They go come chop rice and drink beer

Na Ogun go kee them umunna,community and village people..