Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady - Romance

Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady - Romance - Nairaland

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Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Donsilase(op): 12:53pm On Jan 06

Good day family,

As far as I could remember my issue started when I was in secondary school, back then I use to crush on this particular girl, for the 2 years i was in the school I tried my best to make this girl fall for me but this girl kept rejecting me. That made me felt less of myself and killed my confidence to approach a lady because of fear of rejection. To make matters worse I managed to have a girlfriend after my secondary school but the relationship which lasted for 3 years but didn't work, It was as if I was forcing the relationship to work until I finally heard the girl was about to get married to someone else. That event made me isolated myself from women and focus on building my life. Now I'm in my early 30s and I need to settle down but my love life is so messed up that I can't even keep a regular communication with a lady for straight 1 week before getting bored let alone a relationship. I tried a couple of times but its not working, I have lot of female numbers on my phone but I don't chat with any of them, I don't even have female friends except the old ones.

How do I help this

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Stephen0mozzy: 12:57pm On Jan 06

Start online, then start dressing well to look confident with yourself.

Make sure you have some kind money that makes you happy with what you do and with your life - but don't put money upfront to woo a woman.

When you move to physical approach, start first by simply asking for directions from a fine girl. Then move to asking a girl who's walking that you want to walk with her (compliment her dress or shoe, ask about the area, but don't ask for number - rejection may make you run back to your shell).

Small small, you go get am clear.

When you finally get a girl that is interested in regularly talking to you, make sure she's actually an interesting person, not those ones that are hungry 6 times a day. Talk about life, trending topics, tease her, don't love bomb her - give her space, let her also initiate conversations, basically build a decent friendship, but no allow am turn to Friend zone or friends with benefits; throw am toast and then you'll have a girlfriend worth loving.

13 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Elegantspiker(m): 1:00pm On Jan 06

May be you still haven't developed yourself well enough.

Courage cannot be sort for if appearance (good clothing) finance and intellect are intact.

3 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by KingDashx(m): 1:23pm On Jan 06

Guy go borrow car, if you no get car.
She go answer you well well

Once I carry my papa c350 dey run errands, once I park you go see them dey say are you going my way, women you less I swear.
Them no even care weather if I be serial killer.

10 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by ayoncox: 1:25pm On Jan 06

Start taking yourself seriously, register in a gym centre and work on your physical posture, have a book list, learn everything that will make you highly valuable, focus on yourself. Instead of having girlfriend focus on having many ladies as friend and interview them to pick your best option. Meanwhile its not profitable to put your life around wooing a lady

8 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by larryking78(m): 2:44pm On Jan 06

FIRSTLY, HOW OLD ARE YOU? ARE YOU FINANCIALLY BOUYANT? HAVE YOU FINISHED SCHOOLING, HAVE YOU SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED A TRADE TO EARN A LIVING? IF YOU ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS WELL, LADIES WILL APPROACH YOU?

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Gidiblue: 2:46pm On Jan 06

larryking78:
FIRSTLY, HOW OLD ARE YOU? ARE YOU FINANCIALLY BOUYANT? HAVE YOU FINISHED SCHOOLING, HAVE YOU SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED A TRADE TO EARN A LIVING? IF YOU ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS WELL, LADIES WILL APPROACH YOU?

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Love800(m): 2:52pm On Jan 06

The same way you purchase a product or goods.
Show value.

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Gidiblue: 3:00pm On Jan 06*

Donsilase:
Good day family,

As far as I could remember my issue started when I was in secondary school, back then I use to crush on this particular girl, for the 2 years i was in the school I tried my best to make this girl fall for me but this girl kept rejecting me. That made me felt less of myself and killed my confidence to approach a lady because of fear of rejection. To make matters worse I managed to have a girlfriend after my secondary school but the relationship which lasted for 3 years but didn't work, It was as if I was forcing the relationship to work until I finally heard the girl was about to get married to someone else. That event made me isolated myself from women and focus on building my life. Now I'm in my early 30s and I need to settle down but my love life is so messed up that I can't even keep a regular communication with a lady for straight 1 week before getting bored let alone a relationship. I tried a couple of times but its not working, I have lot of female numbers on my phone but I don't chat with any of them, I don't even have female friends except the old ones.

How do I help this

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by helinues: 3:02pm On Jan 06

Firstly make sure you are at least financial sufficient for your own responsibility for a start

Start dressing nicely, not necessarily expensive wears oo

Try and add cologne, trust me na attractor.

The rest, you don't need to approach, just be simple when you are around ladies without rushing conversation. Curiosity would make them to start the conversation

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by helinues: 3:06pm On Jan 06

KingDashx:
Guy go borrow car, if you no get car.
She go answer you well well

Once I carry my papa c350 dey run errands, once I park you go see them dey say are you going my way, women you less I swear.
Them no even care weather if I be serial killer.

That simply means without the material car, you can't get a girl on your own

2 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by RealityKings1: 3:47pm On Jan 06

Start by telling her you want to buy her something and if she wants. But make sure it's through her friends and not directly to her😅

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by KingDashx(m): 3:54pm On Jan 06

helinues:
That simply means without the material car, you can't get a girl on your own

car helps bro.. I get more attention with it, some usual snap inside it.

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by helinues: 4:02pm On Jan 06

KingDashx:
car helps bro.. I get more attention with it, some usual snap inside it.

We are saying the same thing bro

Without you things...

Back then, I will park somewhere and take a bike to a date. Na date no be show off. If you no happy say I no get car , then you are not for me. Na me you wan date no be car

2 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by ElasmoBranchii(m): 4:08pm On Jan 06

The thing about confidently approaching girls is you have to become outcome independent. Meaning that you should not care what the outcome is whether you get a number or reaction from her or not. It doesn't matter. Don't be afraid to fail or say something ridiculous.

When I started, I followed a linear progression.
The first week I greeted everyone I saw on the road. Some people won't even reply to your greetings but that was my first lesson, that the goal isn't to get a reaction from them but to take the action and greet them.

From there the next week I would approach girls that I liked the way they looked and say "Excuse me, I'm actually about to go but I thought you looked cute/pretty/fine" then say "Okay have a good day" and leave.

The week after that I would go up to them and say "Excuse me, I think you are attractive and I would like to get to know you" then talk to her for some minute if there is time. Don't worry about what to say, just vibe by asking her questions about herself, teasing her, touching and good eye contact.

But telling girls you like them directly is poor game unless they are attracted to you already even if you have money they will just see you as maga but you need to start from somewhere to build your confidence.

Also this is very important, make sure you look good and smell good. Look like you take good care of yourself.

10 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by KingDashx(m): 5:06pm On Jan 06

helinues:
We are saying the same thing bro

Without you things...

Back then, I will park somewhere and take a bike to a date. Na date no be show off. If you no happy say I no get car , then you are not for me. Na me you wan date no be car

true.. na now I understand you bro, they like shiny things lol

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by BigYash: 8:11pm On Jan 06

Just go like you are talking to a fellow guy man. They will reject you,that's it. Out of 5 girls,one or two or even all will listen to you. Don't ever plan what to say,just go with the flow

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by osazsky(m): 8:31pm On Jan 06

What is there...when talking to her imagine that she is in the toilet pooing and everywhere they smell..this will boost ur confidence it's a trick I used for over 30 years

5 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Kobojunkieee: 8:42pm On Jan 06

Donsilase:
✓ Good day family,
As far as I could remember my issue started when I was in secondary school, back then I use to crush on this particular girl, for the 2 years i was in the school I tried my best to make this girl fall for me but this girl kept rejecting me. That made me felt less of myself and killed my confidence to approach a lady because of fear of rejection. To make matters worse I managed to have a girlfriend after my secondary school but the relationship which lasted for 3 years but didn't work, It was as if I was forcing the relationship to work until I finally heard the girl was about to get married to someone else. That event made me isolated myself from women and focus on building my life. Now I'm in my early 30s and I need to settle down but my love life is so messed up that I can't even keep a regular communication with a lady for straight 1 week before getting bored let alone a relationship. I tried a couple of times but its not working, I have lot of female numbers on my phone but I don't chat with any of them, I don't even have female friends except the old ones.
How do I help this

What you need.is not a romantic relationship but to focus your energy on your emotional and social well-being. From what you wrote about your past relationship, you seem to be going at relationships in a forced manner, and that there is indicative of issues at your core that are yet to be resolved. Please, invest your time in instead building your emotional and social intelligence along with learning to (healthily) love yourself. 🥱🥱

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Stephen0mozzy: 8:46pm On Jan 06

osazsky:
What is there...when talking to her imagine that she is in the toilet pooing and everywhere they smell..this will boost ur confidence it's a trick I used for over 30 years

Ah! Oga JB... wetin happen to imagining that she's in a car with you? That she's your childhood friend? That she's in an exam hall asking you for expo? You just carry your imagination go where sheeeit for dey smell? Mehn

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by BigYash: 6:27am On Jan 07

Stephen0mozzy:
Ah! Oga JB... wetin happen to imagining that she's in a car with you? That she's your childhood friend? That she's in an exam hall asking you for expo? You just carry your imagination go where sheeeit for dey smell? Mehn

Na omo B

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Talkisneeded(m): 12:15pm On Jan 07

They will not tell you the truth,at your age,game is no longer a determinat,money is key…
But you still need to have game,money will make them look your side,game will keep them in….

Wish you Goodluck…

But again,what’s life without proper bedmatics skills seff,I’m here to solve all your woes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Traay: 12:52pm On Jan 07

KingDashx:
Guy go borrow car, if you no get car.
She go answer you well well

Once I carry my papa c350 dey run errands, once I park you go see them dey say are you going my way, women you less I swear.
Them no even care weather if I be serial killer.

Never borrow to impress a woman.

cute lhasa pups available for adoption check my siggy👇

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Rejouir: 9:10am On Jan 08

In 2026?

You are still looking for courage to approach a woman.

A woman you would still cater for?

Smh. you are not a serious person.

6 Likes

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Donsilase(op): 4:48pm On Jan 08

Talkisneeded:
They will not tell you the truth,at your age,game is no longer a determinat,money is key…
But you still need to have game,money will make them look your side,game will keep them in….

Wish you Goodluck…

But again,what’s life without proper bedmatics skills seff,I’m here to solve all your woes

I don old reach like that?

Stop giving me old man vibes na

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by MikeofKd(m): 8:21pm On Jan 08

The best advice is that you should first of all work on yourself , groom yourself properly.
Then go out , supermarkets , events , recreational parks , cinemas.
Give the girls you like eye contact , get their attention from afar before you approach them that way they don't seem offended by your intrusion , then talk to them , say a few pick up lines and then proceed to collect their social media handle , Instagram or snap chat anyone ,don't ask for her number.

If you get rejected don't feel bad and don't make a big deal out of it just move on with swag.

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by Philosopher1979: 10:30am On Jan 09

Stephen0mozzy:
Start online, then start dressing well to look confident with yourself.

Make sure you have some kind money that makes you happy with what you do and with your life - but don't put money upfront to woo a woman.

When you move to physical approach, start first by simply asking for directions from a fine girl. Then move to asking a girl who's walking that you want to walk with her (compliment her dress or shoe, ask about the area, but don't ask for number - rejection may make you run back to your shell).

Small small, you go get am clear.

When you finally get a girl that is interested in regularly talking to you, make sure she's actually an interesting person, not those ones that are hungry 6 times a day. Talk about life, trending topics, tease her, don't love bomb her - give her space, let her also initiate conversations, basically build a decent friendship, but no allow am turn to Friend zone or friends with benefits; throw am toast and then you'll have a girlfriend worth loving.

Abeg leave that story.

1 Like

Re: Please Help: How Do I Courageously Approach A Lady by olioxx(m): 11:35am On Jan 09

Donsilase:
Good day family,

As far as I could remember my issue started when I was in secondary school, back then I use to crush on this particular girl, for the 2 years i was in the school I tried my best to make this girl fall for me but this girl kept rejecting me. That made me felt less of myself and killed my confidence to approach a lady because of fear of rejection. To make matters worse I managed to have a girlfriend after my secondary school but the relationship which lasted for 3 years but didn't work, It was as if I was forcing the relationship to work until I finally heard the girl was about to get married to someone else. That event made me isolated myself from women and focus on building my life. Now I'm in my early 30s and I need to settle down but my love life is so messed up that I can't even keep a regular communication with a lady for straight 1 week before getting bored let alone a relationship. I tried a couple of times but its not working, I have lot of female numbers on my phone but I don't chat with any of them, I don't even have female friends except the old ones.

How do I help this

From your post I have spotted some things that I feel could be the issue.

First of all, I think you are one of the Water sign (to those that don't believe in astrology no pun intended), I have some of them as acquaintances and I have observed similar patterns amongst them.

At the first bolded, I think while you were in secondary school the girl noticed you were forcing yourself on her, which is a big turn off for any gender. If a girl desperately want me to be her boyfriend I'll run away, cause I'll feel very uncomfortable. Never try to make a girl like you. Cause if a human is not attracted to someone, there is nothing that can be done.

Secondly, I think you need to do things that boost your confidence. When you see a girl that attracts you and you want to approach do this:
i. If you are nervouse, put your hands in your pocket and chest out while walking to her
ii. When you are close, breathe in and out inconspicously.
iii. Find common ground to chat with her, for example, "I am new in the area, do you know where XYZ church is?" or "Do you normally buy things here, which bread brand is okay?" or "I am about buying this trouser, and the seller said it cost XYZ naira, hope it's not a ripe off?"
Never start with telling her she is beautiful (
I feel it is now crude), please this is 2026 every girl knows she has physical beauty. Those without facial beauty have the body beauty.

Thirdly the problem I see you have is your desperation to get a girl is very visible, that is a big turn off.

Fourth, let me tell you something as someone who grew up amongst women. Women love a guy that is a good communicator and someone with a good sense of humor, with the sense of humor you can once in a while add chessy humor joke.
Another one is be secure in your self, and never start chatting with a girl with a provider complex, she will just be billing you. The way you start with a girl controls the dynamics going forward. Another big thing is eye contact and smirk/smile(if God come bless you with dimples and height) it is finished. When you see a girl you like, my go to is to make eye contact then smile, and stare briefly at the physical asset(best bet is her bum) she has I like. If she look back, thats a green light that she want you to approach, go for it brother. You can do this.

1 Like

1 Reply

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