₦airaland Forum

The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

I can relate! I know the depths of what you are saying.
Trust me, you can work it out and still awesomely desirable.

You can still get all the spice you want you only may not need to increase your body count any longer.

Break free from those shackles and redefine what love may be to you in marriage. You can unlearn and relearn.

I’m a single guy, and there are days the loneliness hits me deeper than I expect. Sometimes it feels heavy, like something is missing. There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone but 🥲

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

If I ask you now...when was the last time you were all over your spouse? Initiate a surprise outing,? When was the last time you seduced your partner....?? Make your spouse feel desired...?? When was the last time u got home first and sent ur spouse a message that made him rush home to be with you...

The thing is y'all like one sided effort.....y'all expect the other person to keep the spark alive.....it's always the responsibility of the other person.....not me....

If u ask them too....they probably have the same complain as you......

Life happens....pple have to go to work and get tired when the day is over....if y'all are not deliberately intentional with investing in your relationship.....the spark will just fizzle out and become the everyday norm....

Ibkay32:
I’m a single guy, and there are days the loneliness hits me deeper than I expect. Sometimes it feels heavy, like something is missing. There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone but 🥲

Go register in a gym and also join an organisation into charitable activities it will sort out your issues

Felimax:
I can relate! I know the depths of what you are saying.
Trust me, you can work it out and still awesomely desirable.

You can still get all the spice you want you only may not need to increase your body count any longer.

Break free from those shackles and redefine what love may be to you in marriage. You can unlearn and relearn.

Would you not ask what she did for her husband to cut her off, if truly she is married?

Of which I do not believe that she is married. It looks like she is crying and dying to be married but she just bent it so that one guy would come and fall for her trap of tears

advanceDNA:
If I ask you now...when was the last time you were all over your spouse? Initiate a surprise outing,? When was the last time you seduced your partner....?? Make your spouse feel desired...?? When was the last time u got home first and sent ur spouse a message that made him rush home to be with you...

The thing is y'all like one sided effort.....y'all expect the other person to keep the spark alive.....it's always the responsibility of the other person.....not me....

If u ask them too....they probably have the same complain as you......

Life happens....pple have to go to work and get tired when the day is over....if y'all are not deliberately intentional with investing in your relationship.....the spark will just fizzle out.....

. You’re right, and that’s the painful truth most people don’t want to admit.
It’s easier to complain than to reflect.
Easier to feel entitled to love than to actively give it. But that’s not always the case, some of us are just unfortunate to end up with spouses whose emotional side is non existent no matter what you do.

Dtruthspeaker:
Would you not ask what she did for her husband to cut her off, if truly she is married?

Of which I do not believe that she is married. It looks like she is crying and dying to be married but she just bent it so that one guy would come and fall for her trap of tears

Yeah, typical.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work the way it sounds in your head, no matter how good it feels in theory.

Dtruthspeaker:
Would you not ask what she did for her husband to cut her off, if truly she is married?

Of which I do not believe that she is married. It looks like she is crying and dying to be married but she just bent it so that one guy would come and fall for her trap of tears

Instead of trying to step on someone who is down, why not try empathy? some words of encouragement or simply look away

None is perfect including your spouse and yourself. So I wouldn't bother myself with whatever you did or he did that made things go south. Start by loving yourself first the way no one else can. Nobody has it all and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Make time for yourself. Sometimes loneliness gets heavy especially when no one is there after all the world shuts down. Live more, laugh more, love more and fear nothing because one day you will wake up to find out there's really not enough time to even live so why focus on the negatives? Life is too short it's why I only focus on the positive in everything and shut down every form of negativity and it has made me a far better man than I ever was. Enjoy your life. You will never have the chance twice.

Life with it's burdens,


Everyone's fighting their own peculiar battles. Hang on right there, miss!

I'm not a motivational speaker, you might just hang around for the elders to wade-in in the discussion.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

oya enter street na. Body go tell you.

Sexyrosey:
Yeah, typical.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work the way it sounds in your head, no matter how good it feels in theory.

But you saw all these signs prior, yet you shuuk head because he was ready ba

Ibkay32:
I’m a single guy, and there are days the loneliness hits me deeper than I expect. Sometimes it feels heavy, like something is missing. There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone but 🥲

I'm also single. Beta start to dey learn to love yourself and your own company.

There are many questions i will like to ask but i will let you ask and answer them. Marriage is a life long journey its best to always do it with who loves and you love too. I may not know the genesis but a relationship the partner is not willing to work things out. I'd advise you seek peace, its either you tell the hard truth or keep living this way because over time you'd become a bitter person.
Sorry, but i feel there was no love initially and maybe the marriage was forced. Hope you find peace and healing. 🙏

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

Ibkay32:
➜I’m a single guy, and there are days the loneliness hits me deeper than I expect. Sometimes it feels heavy, like something is missing. There are moments I just wish I had someone to talk to someone who would listen, understand, and remind me that I’m not alone but 🥲

. Loneliness is resolved by way of loving oneself — inner work inside of oneself, and sourcing validation from the inside rather than from external sources. As OP has clearly shown, marriage does not and cannot resolve that problem. Even if her husband suddenly changes, that inner emptiness will never leave her until she resolves that emptiness that has been exposed by her subconscious. 🥱🥱🥱

Sexyrosey:
➜The Loneliness No One Talks About. It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you. To be married, yet feel emotionally single. To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.
People think loneliness only comes from being alone. But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you. I miss being wanted. I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort. I miss feeling like I matter. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay. Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible. Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.
This is not about perfection. It’s about presence. About romance. About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.
➜ The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.
And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

1. The problem with these statements of yours is that it fails in recognizing the source of lack — loneliness — you feel. Loneless is a result of inner emptiness . No amount of external affection, attention, connection, romance, passion, etc., can cure emptiness. The solution has to come from within yourself —self-love.

2. Capable of love, or performance of love? I am of the mind that one is not able to love if one does not first love oneself. You say you are still capable of love, insinuating that you have been loving all this time before now. Is this really the case? I suggest you consider carefully what you think love is, and consider whether it has instead been you playing a part which you confuse with love. Love comes from a whole inside, not one battling loneliness. Please consider becoming more self-focused so you can once and for all resolve the reasons why you still have yet to love yourself more than anything else first. 🥱🥱

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to redirect your attention inwards.

Show yourself love, compassion, and kindness. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself.

Focus on your own self development, set goals for yourself and enjoy the dopamine boost when you achieve them.

The world mirrors back our beliefs and thoughts, so consider what you’re putting out there. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Don’t let these current feelings trick you into further self sabotage (looking for those things outside your marriage) and cause you to further hate yourself.

When you were doing your wedding , did you invite us now you are experiencing shambles in your marriage, you have the moxie come ask us for advice.


aft to where you came from.

Dtruthspeaker:
Would you not ask what she did for her husband to cut her off, if truly she is married?

Of which I do not believe that she is married. It looks like she is crying and dying to be married but she just bent it so that one guy would come and fall for her trap of tears

Why do you like commenting on things you know nothing about? This has been the mantra of old women since forever - becoming invisible romance-wise while inside they're still the same person they were while younger, desiring the same affections

kiddaz:
None is perfect including your spouse and yourself. So I wouldn't bother myself with whatever you did or he did that made things go south. Start by loving yourself first the way no one else can. Nobody has it all and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Make time for yourself. Sometimes loneliness gets heavy especially when no one is there after all the world shuts down. Live more, laugh more, love more and fear nothing because one day you will wake up to find out there's really not enough time to even live so why focus on the negatives? Life is too short it's why I only focus on the positive in everything and shut down every form of negativity and it has made me a far better man than I ever was. Enjoy your life. You will never have the chance twice.

I really appreciate this

Kobojunkie:
1. The problem with these statements of yours is that it fails in recognizing the source of lack — loneliness — you feel. Loneless is a result of inner emptiness . No amount of external affection, attention, connection, romance, passion, etc., can cure emptiness. The solution has to come from within yourself —self-love.

2. Capable of love, or performance of love? I am of the mind that one is not able to love if one does not first love oneself. You say you are still capable of love, insinuating that you have been loving all this time before now. I suggest you think again about what you know as love and consider whether it has instead been you playing to what you have been made to confuse as love. Love comes from an inside that is whole, not one battling loneliness. Please consider becoming more self-focused so you can resolve the reasons why you do not love yourself more than anything else first. 🥱🥱

. Thank you

Double0h7:
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this at the moment. I think the best thing to do is to redirect your attention inwards.

Show yourself love, compassion, and kindness. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Everything you are missing, you can give to yourself.

Focus on your own self development, set goals for yourself and enjoy the dopamine boost when you achieve them.

The world mirrors back our beliefs and thoughts, so consider what you’re putting out there. We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Don’t let these current feelings trick you into further self sabotage (looking for those things outside your marriage) and cause you to further hate yourself.

. Thank you so much

Sexyrosey:
. Thank you

Just so you know, loving yourself means being honest with yourself. This honesty may lead to you leaving that marriage, which you think you need. Are you ready to begin now, loving yourself —centering yourself —above all else? 🥱🥱

Ego

Thank you for telling her the truth that loving herself would mean her leaving that marriage because it seems she knows the hard truth but refusing to accept it. When peace dies, bitterness sets in...

Kobojunkie:
Just so you know, loving yourself means being honest with yourself. This honesty may lead to you leaving that marriage, which you think you need. Are you ready to begin now, loving yourself —centering yourself —above all else? 🥱🥱

Don't you have hobbies!

Decentralise your woman's love and spread it to other things you enjoy doing. I can never be lonely when books are around me.

QuinQQ:
Why do you like commenting on things you know nothing about? This has been the mantra of old women since forever - becoming invisible romance-wise while inside they're still the same person they were while younger, desiring the same affections

You are obviously not married so, you don't know that this op is not married

Dtruthspeaker:
You are obviously not married so, you don't know that this op is not married

What does married or not married have to do with the fact that old women say they become increasingly invisible into old age while remaining essentially the same person inside??

Kobojunkie:
Just so you know, loving yourself means being honest with yourself. This honesty may lead to you leaving that marriage, which you think you need. Are you ready to begin now, loving yourself —centering yourself —above all else? 🥱🥱

ufy4success:
Thank you for telling her the truth that loving herself would mean her leaving that marriage because it seems she knows the hard truth but refusing to accept it. When peace dies, bitterness sets in...

You people are not taking into account the social disadvantages of being a single old woman. An old woman whose husband has neither abandoned nor beating, you're advising her to leave her marriage! Leave it into what exactly?

QuinQQ:
What does married or not married have to do with the fact that old women say they become increasingly invisible into old age while remaining essentially the same person inside??

That your old women speak is to bend and deceive you young men like the op has done because you people do not know what is going on and that many bad things have women that is as a result of their fault.

Experienced and married people see through their bull defication

Dtruthspeaker:
That your old women speak is to bend and deceive you young men like the op has done because you people do not know what is going on and that many bad things have women that is as a result of their fault.

Experienced and married people see through their bull defication

I don't know what the heck you're talking about.
Women get lots of attention when younger and as they get old the attention goes away.
What's your obsession about marriage in that??