Married But Lonely - Family (7)

Married But Lonely - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Married But Lonely by Teymanhenry(f): 3:58am On Jan 24

Loneliness in marriage often comes from silence, not absence. Pride, ego, and poor communication make us withdraw instead of speaking up. We expect perfection from our partners, forget they’re human, and slowly create distance through unmet expectations.
Other causes include unresolved conflicts, emotional neglect, lack of appreciation, poor listening, busy schedules, and constant comparisons.
The solution is simple: choose humility over pride, communicate clearly, ask instead of assuming, appreciate small efforts, make time to connect, and resolve issues early.
Marriage thrives not on perfection, but on understanding and intentional effort.

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Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 4:02am On Jan 24*

Teymanhenry:
➜Loneliness in marriage often comes from silence, not absence. Pride, ego, and poor communication make us withdraw instead of speaking up. We expect perfection from our partners, forget they’re human, and slowly create distance through unmet expectations.
Other causes include unresolved conflicts, emotional neglect, lack of appreciation, poor listening, busy schedules, and constant comparisons.
The solution is simple: choose humility over pride, communicate clearly, ask instead of assuming, appreciate small efforts, make time to connect, and resolve issues early. Marriage thrives not on perfection, but on understanding and intentional effort.

Like every relationship, it takes two to make marriage work. If you are the one doing all of the work, as OP described, loneliness is the likely end that awaits. Loneliness is like pouring water into a basket. The only way to treat it is to stop wasting energy and begin pouring it all back into yourself instead. 🥱🥱

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Re: Married But Lonely by bibiking7(m): 4:05am On Jan 24

If it was all good before then became stale. The time spent in writing this post could also have been spent talking to your spouse to find out whats really going on.
You know your spouse well. The internet in-laws dont know your spouse as much as you do. Some people mirror affection and attitude.
If you are telling us how lonely you feel, why not tell your spouse too. Make an effort. The write up sounds like you have found someone else and just looking for justification.

Communication is very very important

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Re: Married But Lonely by RosyIsBlessed: 4:42am On Jan 24

That means one party has left the marriage already. Just the body remain inside the marriage

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Re: Married But Lonely by REALretep(m): 4:43am On Jan 24

Sexyrosey:
I really appreciate this post, my husband is not abusive towards me, he provides and to a large extent I can say he is a good person and a good father, but a terrible husband( emotionally unavailable and a “traditional man” ) who believes that the only thing is owes his wife is food and shelter.

My marriage is 8 years, and I must say, and my children are still small so I'm stuck with them most of my free time. And to make the whole matter worse we relocated to a new state, away from all my friends and family.

I just needed to vent, in hope that I will feel better afterwards

I get you now.
Your husband is emotional inert. I was once like that though but I was delivered from it before getting married 😃 It took a relationship I had before meeting my wife to open up my emotions and be able to feel and give it.

It's going to be difficult (in fact...almost impossible) to change your husband's stance.

If you believe in Jesus and the power in His name, and you are putting on your whole Armour of God, you can use your supernatural authority as a believer to change him

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Re: Married But Lonely by LagosG: 4:46am On Jan 24

Sexyrosey:
. You’re right, and that’s the painful truth most people don’t want to admit.
It’s easier to complain than to reflect.
Easier to feel entitled to love than to actively give it. But that’s not always the case, some of us are just unfortunate to end up with spouses whose emotional side is non existent no matter what you do.

Please just talk to your partner I take God beg you.

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Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 4:49am On Jan 24

REALretep:
✓ I get you now. Your husband is emotional inert. I was once like that though but I was delivered from it before getting married 😃 It took a relationship I had before meeting my wife to open up my emotions and be able to feel and give it.
It's going to be difficult (in fact...almost impossible) to change your husband's stance.
If you believe in Jesus and the power in His name, and you are putting on your whole Armour of God, you can use your supernatural authority as a believer to change him

if you were to find yourself with a woman who left you lonely like OP is now...say 5 years from now you find that you, like OP have been pouring water into an empty basket.. would you also buy into this Jesus and the power of his name will make it all magically ok somehow suggestion you may have the Op? 🥱🥱🥱

Re: Married But Lonely by Freshandfitpod: 4:50am On Jan 24

Kobojunkie:
if you were to find yourself with a woman who left you lonely like OP feels, what would you do? 🥱🥱🥱

marry two more wives.

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Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 4:52am On Jan 24

Freshandfitpod:
marry two more wives.

So, OP being a woman should get herself a sidekick? 🥱🥱🥱

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Re: Married But Lonely by HacheNoire: 4:54am On Jan 24

QuinQQ:
Haven't u seen all these women who pour hot water or kill their husbands just on suspicion of cheating.
It's worth risking your life?

At least, you guarantee she will end up in jail, and same time in the quest of finding happiness.

If she can take life, it was pre ordained before I was created like the Bible stated.

But staying I would get stuck with just one entity that’s not making me happy, is outrightly impossible.

Rather die seeking to be cared for than stuck in isolation

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Re: Married But Lonely by Freshandfitpod: 4:57am On Jan 24

Kobojunkie:
So, OP being a woman should get herself a sidekick? 🥱🥱🥱

I mean if you feel lonely as a man.

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Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 5:01am On Jan 24

Freshandfitpod:
➜I mean if you feel lonely as a man.

OP feels lonely, so OP should get herself a couple of sidedicks too, right? 🥱🥱

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Re: Married But Lonely by REALretep(m): 5:09am On Jan 24

Kobojunkie:
if you were to find yourself with a woman who left you lonely like OP is now...say 5 years from now you find that you, like OP have been pouring water into an empty basket.. would you also buy into this Jesus and the power of his name will make it all magically ok somehow suggestion you may have the Op? 🥱🥱🥱

Hi
I know you are hurt and broken.
I know.
I sincerely hope you find true solace... true healing

I can't recommend Jesus to OP in this her situation if I have doubts in the power in the name.
I used to have doubts just like you are saying until my spiritual understanding of scriptures improved.
Putting on the whole Armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) which is not a day's job is what makes the difference

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Re: Married But Lonely by Kobojunkie: 5:16am On Jan 24

REALretep:
➜I know you are hurt and broken. I know. I sincerely hope you find true solace... true healing I can't recommend Jesus to OP in this her situation if I have doubts in the power in the name.
I used to have doubts just like you are saying until my spiritual understanding of scriptures improved.
Putting on the whole Armour of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) which is not a day's job is what makes the difference

Please answer the question asked. 🥱🥱🥱

If you were to find yourself in a similar situation as OP is in now, say 5 years from now, maybe you and your wife become no more than roommates at that point, will you also bite into this "Jesus and the power of his name will make it all magically ok somehow" solution you have the Op? 🥱🥱🥱

Re: Married But Lonely by sonofthunder: 5:28am On Jan 24

Sexyrosey:
I really appreciate this post, my husband is not abusive towards me, he provides and to a large extent I can say he is a good person and a good father, but a terrible husband( emotionally unavailable and a “traditional man” ) who believes that the only thing is owes his wife is food and shelter.

My marriage is 8 years, and I must say, and my children are still small so I'm stuck with them most of my free time. And to make the whole matter worse we relocated to a new state, away from all my friends and family.

I just needed to vent, in hope that I will feel better afterwards

1. Try and love yourself. Have your own fun and activities that are for you. I'm not saying you should redirect your focus or efforts cause that will year your marriage apart.

2. Try and initiate things with your husband. Outings, visits, dates, etc.

3. Discuss what you want with your husband. Anything you haven't constructively tried to trash out with him at least 3 times should not be heard by an outsider.

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Re: Married But Lonely by Ballotelle(m): 5:29am On Jan 24

the problem be when u start to talk and form love with some women they begin to misbehave , seriously speaking. some husband won't chat their wives cause after small chat,,,, the next things would b it's been 5 min I sent u msg u haven't replied, why did u not use my pic as my DP etc , all the above can be communicated in a romamtic manner but all those married women most of them are huh

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Re: Married But Lonely by Ketamine9000mg(m): 5:30am On Jan 24

A lot of people have said many things. I hoped someone would share something like this. My message right now feels like a needle in a haystack. It is possible this happened to me or to a friend, or that AI helped in making it up—it doesn’t matter.

So, let’s go.

My wife is a very beautiful woman. She has her flaws. After we got married, all I could see were her flaws. We grew apart. We barely acted like a couple. We could go for weeks without having any physical contact. At some point, I started having an affair.

I read a lot—relevant and irrelevant stuff. Let’s just say I have a mind that wants to know. I once read a book. It had nothing to do with relationships, marriage, or romance. It was a book that described habits and how to master and change them if you want to. However, the book used an illustration: if you want to be rich, behave in small, daily ways exactly like rich people do. If you want to be a good husband, behave daily the way good husbands behave. Over time, this becomes a habit.

So I started.

I started kissing my wife when she opened the door for me after work. I started spanking her behind when I saw her cooking in the kitchen. I started assisting her around the house. When we sat late at night in the living room, I started resting her head on my lap (we used to sit on different chairs). This triggered something in her, and she started making her own effort to meet me halfway.
When I first started, it was awkward. I kissed her and she gave an expression like, “Which day did this one start?” But over time, it became natural to us, and we started looking forward to it.

Right now, all I talk about is my loving wife. I am now a faithful, loving and happy husband.

Trust me—before marriage, you and your partner had deep love or at least physical desire for each other, and it’s probably just hidden right now. You can ignite it again by doing small romantic things regularly.

John F. Kennedy’ said and I quote “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.”

So I rephrase, ask not what your man can do for you—ask what can you do for your partner.

This might not work, but what else do you have to lose?

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Re: Married But Lonely by Whois(m): 5:32am On Jan 24

Happiness is an individual thing. Nuff said

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Re: Married But Lonely by yemmit90: 5:36am On Jan 24

advanceDNA:
If I ask you now...when was the last time you were all over your spouse? Initiate a surprise outing,? When was the last time you seduced your partner....?? Make your spouse feel desired...?? When was the last time u got home first and sent ur spouse a message that made him rush home to be with you...

The thing is y'all like one sided effort.....y'all expect the other person to keep the spark alive.....it's always the responsibility of the other person.....not me....

If u ask them too....they probably have the same complain as you......

Life happens....pple have to go to work and get tired when the day is over....if y'all are not deliberately intentional with investing in your relationship.....the spark will just fizzle out and become the everyday norm....

Lolz, you never had encounter with a terrible partner, reason you think you can motivate them to love you. Let me tell you this, a bad person is always a bad person irrespective of the gender they belong. And why do you think people settled for divorce? Couples opted for divorce when one of them must have exhausted every peaceful step and love to make it work.

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Re: Married But Lonely by supereagle(m): 5:47am On Jan 24

Many homes are like that.

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

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Re: Married But Lonely by advanceDNA: 5:50am On Jan 24

QuinQQ:
Did you read where she said she's "Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent."?
Bedides, what if he's sending clear signals he doesn't want any of these from you and it actually irritates him. He just want you to be

Lol….. show me what exactly she did from what she wrote…..baba… thats how pple that do next to nothing sound.. Vague!!!
She ddnt say anything specific about how she poured love into the relationship and thats why i was specific with those question…and her response to me was still vague..

If there’s only one thing ive come to know about that gender is that they overestimate their worth in your life.… ordinary to visit you Is seen as huge favour for many of them as they expect you repay by paying their transport to and fro..

They will say they suffered with you & made you who u are when the real picture is she ddnt really have any planB and all the while during ur struggling days you were using your small salary to take care of them and pay all the bills & rent alone….buy land alone, build house alone..etc.. grin

Is it not the same gender that will visit you and be giving you green light with, “i will soon be going oooo”

Baba.. many of them are used to expecting men to keep the spark alive from dating stage…because they already believe they are doing you greater favour by agreeing to date you or have consensual sex…

if u want to find out just how little women do to keep the romantic spark alive...do a survey here and you will hear what most men will say… only few guys will tell you their wives or babe make the first romantic, nice gestures regularly…..they believe sex is ultimate, which they never see as mutual and thats why you will hear them talk about sex as something they “give” you

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Re: Married But Lonely by streetsoldier1(m): 6:18am On Jan 24

Sexyrosey:
The Loneliness No One Talks About

It’s a different kind of pain to feel lonely while lying next to someone who is supposed to love you.
To be married, yet feel emotionally single.
To wake up every day craving affection, attention, and connection… and still go to bed empty.

People think loneliness only comes from being alone.
But sometimes it comes from being with someone who no longer sees you, hears you, or desires you.

I miss being wanted.
I miss being touched with intention, spoken to with softness, loved with effort.
I miss feeling like I matter.

I’m tired of pretending I’m okay.
Tired of acting strong when inside I feel invisible.
Tired of pouring love into a space that feels cold and silent.

This is not about perfection.
It’s about presence.
About romance.
About feeling chosen, not just tolerated.

The hardest part is knowing that I’m still capable of love, passion, and deep connection — but I’m living in a place where none of it is returned.

And that kind of loneliness… hurts more than being alone ever could.

Lets talk privately.... I got tips for u

1 Like

Re: Married But Lonely by chris81964(m): 6:19am On Jan 24

Why did you assume they the author is a woman?

advanceDNA:
If I ask you now...when was the last time you were all over your spouse? Initiate a surprise outing,? When was the last time you seduced your partner....?? Make your spouse feel desired...?? When was the last time u got home first and sent ur spouse a message that made him rush home to be with you...

The thing is y'all like one sided effort.....y'all expect the other person to keep the spark alive.....it's always the responsibility of the other person.....not me....

If u ask them too....they probably have the same complain as you......

Life happens....pple have to go to work and get tired when the day is over....if y'all are not deliberately intentional with investing in your relationship.....the spark will just fizzle out and become the everyday norm....

Re: Married But Lonely by JoeEeL(m): 6:56am On Jan 24

Love800:
Don't you have hobbies!

Decentralise your woman's love and spread it to other things you enjoy doing. I can never be lonely when books are around me.

Then why waste money on a wedding? Why keep funding d home when ure just a mere appendage?

So a man will spend so much to raise a family only to be neglected and now becomena bookworm. Mtcheew. If u even said find a 2nd wife, I for talk say u make sense

2 Likes

Re: Married But Lonely by Tenrack: 7:07am On Jan 24

thomas2024:
You Dey mind the amugbo😂

I dey pity am. She don dey dey "bored" na their way be that. Before you know she don dey hop another "spontaneous, and intentional" Gbolciois Gbola, then later gets dumped. She go come realize the treasure wey she get before. I've seen this script play out many times. Women no dey learn from others mistake. Dem must experience am by force. 😂😂

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Re: Married But Lonely by JoeEeL(m): 7:08am On Jan 24

lebete3000:
Get a dog or a doll bro. You'll thank me later.
These girls are not who you share your feelings with. You only leave them to do all the talking and sharing, while you bang the hell out of them and move on.
They hate to admit it, but their actions always speak louder than their words.

How will a dog or a doll cure loneliness bro. I'm curious. But yes I agree its mostly waste of time discussing ur life issues with the avg woman. She'll be using it to project ur life and how she fits in. Its always about selfishness

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Re: Married But Lonely by JoeEeL(m): 7:09am On Jan 24

Wotowotoman:
Chat GPT answer spotted. Na wa

As u don deh see hyhphen for the comment ba?

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Re: Married But Lonely by Tenrack: 7:10am On Jan 24

lebete3000:
Get a dog or a doll bro. You'll thank me later.
These girls are not who you share your feelings with. You only leave them to do all the talking and sharing, while you bang the hell out of them and move on.
They hate to admit it, but their actions always speak louder than their words.

Baba won share him inner feelings with a Nigerian girl. grin

😂😂😂

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Re: Married But Lonely by Tenrack: 7:11am On Jan 24

JoeEeL:
As u don deh see hyhphen for the comment ba?

I dey always wonder where dem take dey see that big hyphen use. Na this small one - dey my keyboard. Abi na another planet I dey?

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Re: Married But Lonely by JoeEeL(m): 7:11am On Jan 24

Whyme24:
The only beautiful thing in my marriage are my three lovely kids. Loneliness knows my name. Me and Loneliness no get any biz wen I dey single

Not ur wife ke??

U will later clash with ur woman as she's also claiming those kids in secret just like u. U think woman go just sit down like that without plotting when it comes to kids too?

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Re: Married But Lonely by Tenrack: 7:13am On Jan 24

JoeEeL:
Not ur wife ke??

U will later clash with ur woman as she's also claiming those kids in secret just like u. U think woman go just sit down like that without plotting when it comes to kids too?

Baba don enter am but e Neva realize yet.

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