₦airaland Forum

No, they don't

Women elsewhere around the world do fall in love... But Nigerian women, hell No! No money,no love. If you have Two mill, a Nigerian woman will dump you for who has 2.2 Mill. It's simple maths

isrealoski:
“DO WOMEN REALLY FALL IN LOVE?”

Before some of you attack this thread emotionally, calm down first 😄

This is not a “men vs women” war post.

This is a deep observation about human behavior, attraction, survival, status, psychology, and relationships.

Inside this thread, we’ll be talking about:

• Why status changes how people treat you. • The hidden psychology behind attraction. • Why some relationships feel real until life becomes difficult. • Why many people mistake survival for love. • Why I stopped seeing relationships emotionally and started observing them mentally. • The 3 forces that secretly influence most modern relationships. • And the one relationship lesson I discovered after years of observation that changed my perspective completely.

Read carefully till the end.

The final part is the most important.

Now let’s begin.

I grew up in a very comfortable environment.

Not billionaire level 😄 But comfortable enough that life treated us differently.

My father built houses. My father built a church in Somolu, Lagos. At conferences and gatherings, people treated us with respect. People rushed to carry luggage. Seats were reserved. Doors opened automatically.

As a child, you don’t understand these things deeply.

You just think: “This is normal.”

And because of that environment, getting girls back then was extremely easy.

Very easy.

At that age, I genuinely believed love was simple.

I believed attention came naturally. I believed attraction was pure. I believed people simply liked people for who they were.

I was young.

Life had not educated me yet.

SECTION 1: “Love Is a Lie. This Is the Reason.”

Years later, life changed.

I left home. The comfort reduced. Reality became louder.

And suddenly, the same world that once felt soft became difficult to understand.

Conversations changed. Attention changed. Access changed.

That was when I started observing human beings deeply.

One day, one of my guys told me something that stayed in my head for years.

There was this girl that had been turning him down consistently.

No attention. No interest. Nothing.

Then one day, he borrowed his boss’s car.

Everything changed instantly.

The same girl suddenly had time. The same girl suddenly became responsive. The same girl suddenly became interested.

By the third date, they had already slept together inside the car.

Now pause here.

Most people reading this thread will immediately choose sides emotionally.

Some will say: “The girl is shallow.”

Others will say: “The guy manipulated her.”

But me?

I sat down quietly and started asking myself deeper questions.

Was the guy wrong? Or was he simply adapting to a reality he understood?

Was the girl evil? Or was she responding to status, comfort, and perception the same way many humans naturally do?

That experience changed something inside me.

Not into bitterness.

No.

Into awareness.

SECTION 2: “Why Most People Fail in Relationships—and How Awareness Changes Everything.”

One dangerous thing about growing up protected is this:

You mistake comfort for truth.

You think the world is softer than it really is.

Then reality shocks you later.

The older I got, the more I realized that attraction is not always purely emotional.

Sometimes people are attracted to: • security, • confidence, • stability, • lifestyle, • intelligence, • beauty, • ambition, • potential, • influence.

And honestly? Both genders do this in different ways.

Men may overlook red flags because of beauty.

Women may overlook red flags because of potential.

Humans are emotional creatures pretending to be logical.

And logical creatures pretending to be emotional.

That’s why relationships confuse people so much.

SECTION 3: “The Hidden Psychology Behind Every ‘Perfect Match’—And Why Most Miss It.”

Over time, I discovered something about myself.

I’m not attracted only physically.

I’m attracted mentally.

If all we talk about is: “Let’s eat.” “Send money.” “Buy this.” “Take me out.”

My brain disconnects immediately.

But if I tell you an idea, and instead of just listening, you sharpen it further…

Now you have my attention.

For example:

Imagine I say: “If you place three books on a table publicly, people unconsciously feel like completing the set.”

Then the person replies: “Actually, four books may work better psychologically because the missing one feels easier to complete.”

That kind of interaction wakes my brain up.

That’s attraction to me.

Not just beauty.

Mental sharpness.

That’s why many modern relationships exhaust me.

Too much physical attraction. Too little intellectual chemistry.

Many people can date each other physically… but cannot challenge each other mentally.

SECTION 4: “The Invisible Codes That Dictate Who Stays and Who Leaves in Love.”

The more I observed life, the more I stopped asking: “Who is good?” and started asking: “What influences human behavior?”

And honestly?

Most humans are not evil.

Most humans are responding to: • survival, • insecurity, • ego, • attraction, • fear, • opportunity, • comfort, • pressure, • and timing.

That realization changed the way I judge people.

These days, I no longer worship fantasies.

I observe patterns instead.

And one painful truth I discovered is this:

Reality respects value.

A broke man with confidence still struggles. A successful man with confidence gets listened to faster.

Painful truth. But truth.

SECTION 5: “How Your Past Shapes Your Future Relationships—And What You Can Do Differently.”

Maybe that’s why I no longer rush relationships anymore.

Right now, I’m rebuilding myself quietly.

No pressure. No desperation.

In fact, I’ve gone about two years without sex or relationships, and I’m perfectly fine.

Because now I understand something many people don’t:

Love without stability can quickly become stress.

Some people hate hearing that truth.

But people who have experienced financial hardship inside relationships understand exactly what I mean.

Money is not everything.

But lack of money can damage many things.

That’s reality.

SECTION 6: “The Three Lessons My Mother Taught Me About Love That I’m Still Grateful For.”

As I grew older, life slowly taught me three important things:

1. Never allow emotions blind you completely.


2. Never build relationships only on temporary feelings.


3. Peace of mind is more valuable than forced attachment.



Those lessons stayed with me deeply.

Because the older you get, the more you realize attraction alone cannot sustain anything meaningful.

SECTION 7: “If You’re in a Relationship or Considering One, These Are the Three Forces You Must Know Before It’s Too Late.”

After years of observing people, relationships, attraction, and behavior…

I discovered there are THREE kinds of relationships.

1. Survival Relationships. People stay because they need something: money, security, comfort, status, access, support.


2. Emotional Relationships. People stay because of feelings: chemistry, attachment, loneliness, desire, excitement.


3. Mental-Spiritual Relationships.



This one is rare.

Very rare.

This is when two people genuinely sharpen each other’s minds, discipline, peace, growth, vision, and soul.

Not just romance.

Not just resources.

Alignment.

That third type?

That is the only kind of relationship I’m willing to wait for now.

Even if it takes years.

Because once you experience mental resonance with somebody, shallow attraction starts losing power over you.

And maybe that’s why I no longer panic about relationships anymore.

Right now, I’m still building. Still observing. Still learning people quietly.

Ironically, some of my writings have gone viral online multiple times…

Yet I still remain anonymous.

And honestly?

I like it that way.

Anonymity allows you to study human beings honestly.

No fame distortion. No fake energy. No performance.

Just pure observation.

So after reading all this…

Let me ask you, Nairalanders:

Do you think genuine love can truly exist without money, status, or potential…

Or are most relationships secretly built on value exchange from the beginning?

And which of the 3 relationship types do you honestly believe lasts the longest? 👀

Cum4me:
Another wasted time. Useless post see watin u use your hand copy and paste here. Chia Tinubu really finished this country

No dear this come from my genuine curiosity and deep thought

Chatgpt helped clean up also generate image to spice it up.

You should try it dear

No need to hate.

Go through my topics you'll discover at age 19 I was already crashing my first business.

My family take style guide aje

The matter of love no really suppose dey concern guys like that.

Any woman you catch, just make sure say she invest for wetin una dey do. It could be attention, small small favors here and there even if na to buy pure water or coke carry come give you make her do it and then reward her beyond her investment afterwards. Let this first reward be the only one that is beyond her input. Subsequent ones should be commensurate with her input. The reason for going beyond is to place it in her subconscious that you can go beyond. That's all.

In anything you do with any woman, whether old or young, make them invest and you will be OK.

Just see anything with them as business and you'll be fine and not get exploited

Akalia:
I don't like you women for this admission. Even my own wife could be playing along because of benefits the whole time. Geez!!!

You had asked and I answered honestly. Why are you then getting annoyed? Also, benefits may mean different things to different women. For some, it could mean financial gains and for others, a high emotional intelligence, kindness and gentility, etc

Saying that you don't like us because of my feedback kinda puts you in a certain box in terms of personality which means that you need to work harder at the alternative which is being a good provider or any other thing that makes your wife tick. It's just the way it is

And please I speak only for myself and would like to plead that you do not extend my opinions to your wife's perceived actions or emotional status. We are all wired differently.

Have you ever thought that maybe your definition of love is wrong?

Caramia2020:
Una de ask question o, this morning na women n love.

Every morning na the right morning to ask deep questions. Better than scrolling without thinking.

Gotocourt:
They do, but it takes time. Make her do things for you .
Ensure her natural greedy instincts has been conquered.

@Gotocourt
Solid point. When she invests in you time, energy, effort attachment follows naturally. Psychology backs that up.

helinues:
People should try and expand their circle abi na circus.

Falling in love, I mean true love is not different from being stinky rich which only few people will experience through out their life time

Those who have never experienced true live before can never have an idea how it feels like.

I don't know about this current generation which their relationship mostly start invisible, if you have your list of love map with no exaggeration, there are still plenty of ladies that will love you for who you are.

So you saw a beautiful lady and have all this wild thoughts, how do you think ladies feel when they also see handsome guy they like?

@helinues


This is one of the most balanced replies here. You're right people who've never experienced real love can't describe it.

And your point about women feeling the same pull toward handsome men?

Valid. Attraction is universal, not one-sided.

A woman fighting for survival from hunger and poverty is not capable of loving.
Help them and establish them if you have the means to do so.
But don't love them for they will not love you back.

Akalia:
I don't like you women for this admission. Even my own wife could be playing along because of benefits the whole time. Geez!!!

But it is what it is.

deebrain:
Yes.

Nairaland. I only wanted to write "Yes" and move on with my life but you people insisted that I must write at least 20 characters if I want my comment to be posted.

You can see that I have done that.

Thanks.

DrAda:
You had asked and I answered honestly. Why are you then getting annoyed? Also, benefits may mean different things to different women. For some, it could mean financial gains and for others, a high emotional intelligence, kindness and gentility, etc

Saying that you don't like us because of my feedback kinda puts you in a certain box in terms of personality which means that you need to work harder at the alternative which is being a good provider or any other thing that makes your wife tick. It's just the way it is

And please I speak only for myself and would like to plead that you do not extend my opinions to your wife's perceived actions or emotional status. We are all wired differently.

Apt!!!
This is very sound!

And I've promise myself not all nonsense i will be reading. Time wasted, and Data waisted. chai.

Wondering if tables could turn around that all women are rich and have more money than all men....Is it by then you would know that women are capable of falling in love?

Nature has rules.Attraction has rules
There are things that triggers love from each person.
Know thyself and lead the life that brings joy to your very essense,true love will find you even if you are running away from it.

Soltix9y:
Have you ever thought that maybe your definition of love is wrong?

I think love is different for each person and that's the fundamental issue. People simply love whoever makes their life feel better/complete. Love is always selfish if you look deeply enough for both men and women.

False analysis. Women really fall in love my foot.

In this part of the world taking economic,societal, religious factors into bear. Love is a façade. Most men never get to experience real love. You are loved for what you bring to the table. Moreover how can you meet a 25 year old girl today with 15 body counts and expect her to love you back.

.

LostMyZeal:
The matter of love no really suppose dey concern guys like that.

Any woman you catch, just make sure say she invest for wetin una dey do. It could be attention, small small favors here and there even if na to buy pure water or coke carry come give you make her do it and then reward her beyond her investment afterwards. Let this first reward be the only one that is beyond her input. Subsequent ones should be commensurate with her input. The reason for going beyond is to place it in her subconscious that you can go beyond. That's all.

In anything you do with any woman, whether old or young, make them invest and you will be OK.

Just see anything with them as business and you'll be fine and not get exploited

Nigerian woman invest in you.
If she spend 1k there's a way she getting 100k from you.

isrealoski:
@Gotocourt
Solid point. When she invests in you time, energy, effort attachment follows naturally. Psychology backs that up.

Before she invest in you, she already see that you have or can provide what she wants.
But what happened when another comes that can provide twice of that you already had ?

I stopped dating when I discovered too that women don't fall in love. It feels strange now but I get irritated imagining myself in a relationship. I just relate with women on the surface because I have seen the worthlessness in dating "pretenders".

The bible said men should love ,while d women should submit.

The truth is that, women fell in love even more deeper, because they are very emotional in nature. But that love only come with attractions, either How you look, or always dressed, or your profession, or your possessions, power or most importantly fame. That will catch their attentions. They could even easily walk up their ways to where you can notice them or arranged a design or drama to interact with you, they are pretender and manipulators in nature. Don't also forget that, they are strict and observance more than we men. The bottom line is that, they do love based on attractions and expectations that will benefit them.

Soltix9y:
Have you ever thought that maybe your definition of love is wrong?

A vvoman said that men do not value life because they're not created to birth life. Which is why they grape vvomen, leave their çhīldrēñ behind and don't care about their vvomen too.

She went further to say that men can only value the things that they put their sweat, blood and tears into and that's why they don't joke with their possessions; their cars etc Her theory is that men can't safeguard the things that are handed to them.

Well, the last part applies to anyone, man, vvoman and çhīldrēñ. People tend to not properly care for things that were handed to them, or that they never worked hard to achieve.

After watching the video, I immediately checked Google to ask some questions. I asked Google for the estimate of how much the @b0rti0n clinics in Nigeria make annually.

Google didn't provide any number but it pointed that though there isn't an estimated amount of money because it's illegal, however available research indicates that the market for both safe and unsafe @b0rti0n services and post-@b0rti0n care is vast, with an estimated 1.2 to 2.0 million @b0rti0ns occurring annually.

Wait ! Let me repeat it again, the life creators and protectors commit anywhere from 1.2 million to 2.0 million @b0rti0ns, in a year, in Nigeria.

Pulling these numbers is important because it puts things into perspective.

Some vvomen can be so delusional and sentimental because they want to tr@$h men by all means that they make up stuffs.
She has forgotten that some vvomen kpai the lives that they procreated in their own wombs.

The same vvomen that she claimed value çhīldrēñ's lives more than men, that can't leave any çhīld behind because "vvomen create lives" unlike men who take them.....are the ones lining up the pockets of doctors up to 2million times annually.

It's such an absurd and distasteful statement !

At this point, they just open their mouths and say anything.

The idea that only a vvoman can love çhīldrēñ because she birthed them is asinine. That's even why in cases of divorce or separation, vvomen are most likely to be favoured with getting custody of the çhīldrēñ and in most cases, they turn out w0rse.

Why do vvomen believe that we have good vvomen everywhere?
Even the one who spewed this gibberish, low-key positioned herself as a good vvoman too. It's getting cr@zier by the day.

Most of them threatened to kpai their husbands as if they’re not birthed by women.

They are !n$anè.

Joshcoli:
Beautiful... This is indeed beautiful writeup

Thanks 😊

DrAda:
Didn’t go through the post. I just instinctively know that our emotions are mostly transactional. What you give is what you get.

Normally I no say the hard work I put into this work no concern you and I'm not complaining.

But here is the thing.

I compressed years of experience into this thread.

I knew it was gonna go viral even before posting.

With all said.

I'll suggest you go through it slowly.

The thread as something for everyone even you

Take your time go through it my friend you'll pick 1 or 2

FOR SURE

isrealoski:
Normally I no say the hard work I put into this work no concern you and I'm not complaining.

But here is the thing.

I compressed years of experience into this thread.

I knew it was gonna go viral even before posting.

With all said.

I'll suggest you go through it slowly.

The thread as something for everyone even you

Take your time go through it my friend you'll pick 1 or 2

FOR SURE

My dear, I reserve the right to read or ignore any piece of write-up on social media. I have chosen to ignore yours. Is there something in the water that I don't know about?

Na 5% of them dey love o...
The remaining 95% no dey love, dem be calculators....