₦airaland Forum

wfjimmytobby:
There is this calm girl and decent I met about a year and half ago. We met and vibe then start about a week after we met.

She was loving real, not materialistic and very smart, this make me fall more for her..

She was in her final year in school when we meet and she didn’t let her studies affect our relationship. She was always active, infact she was more dedicated and active than me. So I made up my mind that after she is done with school and all I should be able to probably settle down with her.

So fast forward to a month ago, she suddenly changed. She stopped talking to me reply my messages and kept asking her what’s wrong she ain’t giving me any answer despite all my efforts..

Then after that she asked me to leave her alone…though she didn’t block me on her socials and she is not doing any suspicious it really shocking to me. For a girl that craves for my attention all this time and after have already start giving her my 100% she suddenly switch and wants me to leave her alone..

It really surprising and after I thought about everything the only wrong was that I do get mad at her if we had an appointment and she didn’t turn up that’s all..we didn’t even fight or argued much through out the time we were together…now in the situation the question is should I just give up on her and move on or I should give it more time hoping to get answers to what’s wrong…

even COMMITMENT and OAT for marriage one dey let GO!

wfjimmytobby:
There is this calm girl and decent I met about a year and half ago. We met and vibe then start about a week after we met.

She was loving real, not materialistic and very smart, this make me fall more for her..

She was in her final year in school when we meet and she didn’t let her studies affect our relationship. She was always active, infact she was more dedicated and active than me. So I made up my mind that after she is done with school and all I should be able to probably settle down with her.

So fast forward to a month ago, she suddenly changed. She stopped talking to me reply my messages and kept asking her what’s wrong she ain’t giving me any answer despite all my efforts..

Then after that she asked me to leave her alone…though she didn’t block me on her socials and she is not doing any suspicious it really shocking to me. For a girl that craves for my attention all this time and after have already start giving her my 100% she suddenly switch and wants me to leave her alone..

It really surprising and after I thought about everything the only wrong was that I do get mad at her if we had an appointment and she didn’t turn up that’s all..we didn’t even fight or argued much through out the time we were together…now in the situation the question is should I just give up on her and move on or I should give it more time hoping to get answers to what’s wrong…

Ofcourse she has noticed your seriousness with her, and probably she doesn't need a serious relationship now or she is not ready yet. I think she is at a crossroad, she is probably trying to make a decision. Your attitude now and the way you handle the situation matters when you have not gotten any word from her yet. Stop blabbing on her social platforms, send her a message via whatsapp, tell her that she may probably be at a crossroad or you perceive she is going through an issue that is bothering her mind and she doesn't want sharing. Tell her you think it may be proper to give her space and time for her to make up her mind.

Be gentle in handling the situation.

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

Hmmmm...you are really a nice man.
But if you are still dating her,i feel its better you support her to start up a business,so she will learn how to make money for herself.
A girl that is self sustained is focused enough not to create unneccessary drama for you.
You can support her financially time to time,but salary thing can make any woman lazy,possibly looking for other things to entertain her since she is not occupied and engaged.

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

U put ur babe for 100k monthly Salary

How much you put your mama?

You said she was smart. The only thing you think you did wrong was get mad at her when she did not show up for "appointments". In your mind that's not enough for her to keep away. Most likely... being smart ... you have shown some of your true colours and she wants no part of that. If you can get so angry for her not showing up for a date ... which is a minor bump in a relationship ... how will you behave when there is a pot hole? Again... she's smart ... why should she stick around to find out? Don't be waiting for an explanation.... when it comes to women in particular.... actions speak louder than words ... she is done with the relationship... finished. If this wasn't the reason... then simple.... she found someone else... maybe you didn't show any intention ... wanting to meet her family... marriage intent ... just appointment after appointment. Part of life ... learn .. adjust... move on .

Sonnobax15:

Young man,leave that banny alone and move on with your life. Focus on your goals and that ought to be your most important thing in life right now.

As for her, she's long gone bro. I mean that's how bannies are wired. You'll just be surprised to discover that someone whom you guys used to vibe so well, can just suddenly change and be behaving like a witch without any reason at all

I've had my own taste to their witchcraft. That's why anything wey concern relationship for now dey increase my anger issues 😡

That girl wey you dey carry for your keke don dump you?

Your subscription don expire, move on!
E happen to me too

Tenrack:
I second this. Spoil your woman make another man no snatch am. A word is enough for a fool.

Thanks boss

No matter how whorish they have been before hand, they start looking for a stable relationship in final year or 300 level.

She's looking for who will marry her and has got someone who is more ready or richer than you. Hence her ghosting you.

Keep calm, the new guy may just want to chop and clean mouth and she will coming crying and begging soon.

read this and learn brother!

Tenrack:
Bro I don't understand you oh.

That's, spending money on your woman and for the woman to be spending the same money for guy she really loves. since, you so much believe spending for your woman is only factor that can guarantee loyalty.

koladata:
I can bet 1million naira , she already have someone she's dating.

No just dey waste your time. If she ever comes back to start acting right , it is because her relationship with the new guy didn't work.

Off all the comments I have read you are the only one that got it

When a woman switches off like that without reason and did not block you you didn't do anything wrong. She just had someone else that she feels is better than u

Better start picking up courage to assume the worst. Otherwise by the time she goes for NYSC you go get serious heartbreak. I lost my university girlfriend of almost 4yrs during NYSC, as she go she just change..no more communication or suspicious moods and voices whenever I call her. Heartbreak almost made me go to Borno from Kano state just to see her but I knew it had ended in time. I kukuma find another babe and forgot about her.

Bro start looking for another babe..

wfjimmytobby:
There is this calm girl and decent I met about a year and half ago. We met and vibe then start about a week after we met.

She was loving real, not materialistic and very smart, this make me fall more for her..

She was in her final year in school when we meet and she didn’t let her studies affect our relationship. She was always active, infact she was more dedicated and active than me. So I made up my mind that after she is done with school and all I should be able to probably settle down with her.

So fast forward to a month ago, she suddenly changed. She stopped talking to me reply my messages and kept asking her what’s wrong she ain’t giving me any answer despite all my efforts..

Then after that she asked me to leave her alone…though she didn’t block me on her socials and she is not doing any suspicious it really shocking to me. For a girl that craves for my attention all this time and after have already start giving her my 100% she suddenly switch and wants me to leave her alone..

It really surprising and after I thought about everything the only wrong was that I do get mad at her if we had an appointment and she didn’t turn up that’s all..we didn’t even fight or argued much through out the time we were together…now in the situation the question is should I just give up on her and move on or I should give it more time hoping to get answers to what’s wrong…

IyaTola:
What you're describing is difficult because the change was so sudden and doesn't seem to match the relationship you experienced for a year and a half.

Based on what you've shared, a few things stand out:

She didn't slowly drift away; she made a clear request: "leave me alone."

She hasn't given you an explanation, even after you've repeatedly asked.

You haven't described a major fight, betrayal, or ongoing conflict that would obviously explain the change.

Her behavior before this was consistent, invested, and affectionate.

The hard reality is that when someone asks for space or asks you to leave them alone, you generally have to respect that, even when you don't understand why.

That doesn't mean her reasons are necessarily bad. There could be many possibilities:

She may have gone through a personal issue she doesn't want to discuss.

Her feelings may have changed.

Family pressures or future plans may have influenced her.

She may have become unhappy about something she never communicated.

She may have met someone else.

She may have felt overwhelmed and decided to withdraw.

The truth is that you don't know, and right now neither of us can know.

What I would not recommend is spending months chasing answers from someone who has already asked for distance. That often leads to more frustration and less self-respect.

A balanced approach would be:

1. Send one final calm message (if you haven't already). Something like: "I respect your decision and will give you the space you've asked for. I care about you and wish you well. If there's ever something you'd like to explain or discuss in the future, I'm open to listening."

2. Stop pursuing her after that. No repeated messages, no pressure, no trying to force a conversation.


3. Give yourself a timeline. For example, tell yourself: "I'm moving forward with my life. If she chooses to reach out later, I'll decide then whether I want to continue."


Notice the difference between waiting and being open.

Waiting means putting your life on hold for someone who may never return.

Being open means continuing with your life while accepting that she may contact you someday.

One other thing caught my attention: you mentioned getting angry when she missed appointments. If those incidents happened often or were more intense than you realize, it's possible they affected her more than she expressed. Some calm and conflict-avoidant people don't argue; they quietly absorb frustrations until they eventually withdraw. I'm not saying that's what happened, only that it's worth honestly reflecting on.

My answer to your question is:

Don't keep hoping indefinitely for answers. Respect her request, send one respectful closing message if necessary, and start moving forward. If she genuinely values the relationship and wants to explain, she knows how to reach you.

I'm curious about one detail: when she told you to leave her alone, was it a cold, angry message, or was it more like a polite but firm request? The tone can reveal quite a lot about what may be happening.

You are smart and a very good relationship expert. 👍

She is seeing somebody else. Women aren't that difficult to figure out. Just let her be and focus on yourself. She will around or you will move on.

In whatever you suspect, don’t rule out the fact that another guy is giving her the way you’ve not been. No let anybody lie give you, knacking different from knacking. Just as pussay different from pussay. If your babe make mistake, mistake o, open leg give correct knacker, you don go

Maybe she use you heal, now wey she don heal she no see any reason again, abi wetin you feel?

😂😂😂😂

;

Tenrack:
I second this. Spoil your woman make another man no snatch am. A word is enough for a fool.

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

Lmao

That 100k is too small, you have to increase it to 500k please.

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

Funny man, you neva marry woman you place her on salary of 100k, when you then marry her na 1m you go de give am?
You guys will just be pressuring yourselves, are you her father? What if you do not have the 100k tomorrow to give her after setting such precedent, next thing is to say she left you despite all you have done for her.

She was only using you till she is done with her school, I believe you do spend on her and supporting her financially during her schooling. Let her be bro. If you have been nice to her but your only error is that you use to Bleep up anytime you guys had appointments. She will learn from outside and crawl back to you.

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

one woman don call you 'good guy', op you know what that means

wfjimmytobby:
There is this calm girl and decent I met about a year and half ago. We met and vibe then start about a week after we met.

She was loving real, not materialistic and very smart, this make me fall more for her..

She was in her final year in school when we meet and she didn’t let her studies affect our relationship. She was always active, infact she was more dedicated and active than me. So I made up my mind that after she is done with school and all I should be able to probably settle down with her.

So fast forward to a month ago, she suddenly changed. She stopped talking to me reply my messages and kept asking her what’s wrong she ain’t giving me any answer despite all my efforts..

Then after that she asked me to leave her alone…though she didn’t block me on her socials and she is not doing any suspicious it really shocking to me. For a girl that craves for my attention all this time and after have already start giving her my 100% she suddenly switch and wants me to leave her alone..

It really surprising and after I thought about everything the only wrong was that I do get mad at her if we had an appointment and she didn’t turn up that’s all..we didn’t even fight or argued much through out the time we were together…now in the situation the question is should I just give up on her and move on or I should give it more time hoping to get answers to what’s wrong…

OP no too reason am, there's an 80% someone has outperformed you and won her heart. She won't have any excuse for you but she will despise you.

If you keep begging her to come back, she will despise you more and you will be worth much less than you are now to her.

Harvery Specter once said: "IF SHE WANTS TO GO, LET HER GO"

Nobody fully understands that gender, even they don't understand themselves. She may return, she may not..but move on

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

Don't listen to this nonsense! Let her go.

GOOOGLE504:
one woman don call you 'good guy', op you know what that means

Literal terms
It means im a good guy
Whats is good is good
What is bad is bad.
If you vex me i can increase the money to 500k monthly

Harddiskng:
Lmao

That 100k is too small, you have to increase it to 500k please.

The 100k sef is because she is denying me kpekus if i fit get access to dey knack like 3 times in a week na 500k monthly.

She is seeing another man now

Just let her be.

Don't over-work your mind.

Why women dey behave like that tho
I cant understand

wfjimmytobby:
There is this calm girl and decent I met about a year and half ago. We met and vibe then start about a week after we met.

She was loving real, not materialistic and very smart, this make me fall more for her..

She was in her final year in school when we meet and she didn’t let her studies affect our relationship. She was always active, infact she was more dedicated and active than me. So I made up my mind that after she is done with school and all I should be able to probably settle down with her.

So fast forward to a month ago, she suddenly changed. She stopped talking to me reply my messages and kept asking her what’s wrong she ain’t giving me any answer despite all my efforts..

Then after that she asked me to leave her alone…though she didn’t block me on her socials and she is not doing any suspicious it really shocking to me. For a girl that craves for my attention all this time and after have already start giving her my 100% she suddenly switch and wants me to leave her alone..

It really surprising and after I thought about everything the only wrong was that I do get mad at her if we had an appointment and she didn’t turn up that’s all..we didn’t even fight or argued much through out the time we were together…now in the situation the question is should I just give up on her and move on or I should give it more time hoping to get answers to what’s wrong…

Fiscus105:
That's, spending money on your woman and for the woman to be spending the same money for guy she really loves. since, you so much believe spending for your woman is only factor that can guarantee loyalty.

I was being sarcastic o lol

amancalledgodd:
Pls try to get her
Women are really scarce and needs to be treated well. I put my babe on monthly salary 100k and this june is her birthday.
I have an upcoming surprise for her.
Make i no talk much she dey here dey read. Spoil your woman o

how much do you put your parents and your siblings .I will be ashamed to say something like this and you even sound proud of doing so.simp.wait till that money stop coming and she will just leave you for the next victim