₦airaland Forum

The story of the Nigerian guy, Qudus Ajeyemi (aka “Spartan”), who was jailed for over 5 years in the United Kingdom, reminded me of something that happened to me during my early days in the UK in 2022.

A few months after I arrived, my workplace organised a team bonding session at a bar in the city. I was actually excited because I felt it would help with integration. I dressed up nicely, and a Pakistani female colleague gave me a lift to the venue. That journey alone had its own drama, but that’s a story for another day. Let’s just say I learned a lesson about speaking carelessly.

Anyway, the event itself started on a cool note: snacks, soft drinks, and small talk. It was interesting seeing colleagues in a different light. People who normally hardly talked at work suddenly became very friendly. Some who were usually well-covered showed up in more relaxed summer outfits.

We played games, did karaoke, and generally had a good time. Then one of our Oyinbo colleagues came in already tipsy, holding a drink and sipping it steadily. Everything was funny to her; whether you said something or not, she would just laugh. At some point, she was even staggering, so we knew she had taken too much. We tried to advise her to slow down, but she didn’t really listen. Personally, I don’t drink. I’ve tried alcohol before, but it’s not for me. I still believe it’s too bitter. I prefer sweets, chocolates, milkshakes, and fizzy drinks. So my head was very clear throughout that night.


Things then took a very surprising turn.

The lady started pulling some of the Nigerian guys aside to talk to them privately. What she was asking for shocked everyone. She openly told one of my friends who is married with two kids that she wanted to have sex with him right there. She even gave him her number and told him they could go anywhere; his place, her place, or another location. To prove she wasn’t joking, she made a very bold offer on the spot. She wanted to 'test the microphone.'

My friend was tempted; after all, he had never been with an Oyinbo before. But he knew the situation wasn’t right.

When he came to tell me, I honestly didn’t even know what advice to give him. At that time, I was single, so I was looking at it from a different angle. I quietly stayed close by, hoping maybe luck would shine on me too. In my mind, I was like, “If I get there, I will cross that bridge.” But nothing came my way. Instead, she moved around to other Nigerian guys, making similar offers. Before we knew it, the news had spread, and we had an emergency “meeting.” The conclusion was simple: nobody should get involved.

We remembered several stories online involving consent issues, accusations, and legal trouble. Everyone became careful. The truth is, many of the men wanted the experience, but they also understood the danger. Nobody wanted to risk their future over a few minutes of enjoyment. At one point, she sat in front of me and kept flirting with a married colleague. I even saw her hand on a grey area on his trousers while they were whispering. But even he couldn’t go further.

Eventually, she got frustrated, made some calls, and left. The event ended shortly after that. I ordered my taxi and went home. Two days later, she came to work like nothing happened. She claimed she didn’t remember anything from that night. Honestly, that shocked me. That was when it really hit me. That night, nobody touched her, but the lesson touched all of us for the rest of our lives.

What if I had taken the chance? What if something had happened and she later claimed I took advantage of her? What would have been my fate? At that time, I was still owing my mother millions of naira for sponsoring my trip abroad. How would I have explained myself?

A situation like that might not even be taken seriously in Nigeria, but in the UK, it’s a completely different ball game.

If you find yourself in such a situation, just know that the consequences can follow you for life. A few minutes of enjoyment is not worth destroying your future. Yes, things in the UK can be uncertain, but there are real opportunities here if you stay focused and patient.

I’m not supporting what Qudus Ajeyemi did, but I can’t lie, part of me feels for him. Coming to the UK at 27 gives you enough time to build your life properly before marriage and other responsibilities come in.

Sadly, he just missed an open goal. He missed the train, and the train doesn't stop twice.

pocohantas:
May God grant you all visas to unlearn the nonsense you have normalised in Nigeria. Else you learn hard lessons. Baba Ijeshas.

pocohantas:
May God grant you all visas to unlearn the nonsense you have normalised in Nigeria. Else you learn hard lessons. Baba Ijeshas.

TheStoriesOfMan:
Mind the way you talk. This is an adult forum, not a kid's washbowl..

Ishilove:
She was intoxicated, therefore incapable of giving consent. It doesn't matter if she offered herself to you. Once she is not of clear and sound mind at the time when she made offer, she is incapable of giving consent and having intercourse with her in that state is taking advantage of her.

You should count yourselves lucky that none of you allowed lust blind your common sense, else you would have made the news for the wrong reasons.

uche87:
https://www.facebook.com/thevillagetowncrier/posts/ppfbid0K9hVdyXqoL3xHfpSQ3SgLCoWDiijBxTjDR9o4dN9p3vsSqDSLNu9LM5ZvFhXP8Uul

Ishilove:
She was intoxicated, therefore incapable of giving consent. It doesn't matter if she offered herself to you. Once she is not of clear and sound mind at the time when she made offer, she is incapable of giving consent and having intercourse with her in that state is taking advantage of her.

You should count yourselves lucky that none of you allowed lust blind your common sense, else you would have made the news for the wrong reasons.

ARISHEM:
What shocked me was the part they say Qudus only touched her twice when she was tipsy.
Just touch with hand o and not a touch with his preeq. And everything about his life crashed

uche87:
https://www.facebook.com/thevillagetowncrier/posts/ppfbid0K9hVdyXqoL3xHfpSQ3SgLCoWDiijBxTjDR9o4dN9p3vsSqDSLNu9LM5ZvFhXP8Uul

spiceadole:
If na Naija ehn, food is ready!
confam Group Intimacy immediately.

The guys will pounce on her, take turns to knack nonsense commot from her towtow,brag about it and shame her everywhere including social media.

"See we knacked a female staff at a party"
"After this,who will marry her?"

She no go even fit show face for work again.