₦airaland Forum

Early this year, I met this fine girl. Young. Fresh. Smooth skin. We exchanged numbers, started chatting, and the vibe was flowing smooth. Then along the line, she dropped the bomb:

She’s married. With a child. Going into her third year of marriage.

The fact that she never mentioned her husband from the jump… That alone should tell you everything about where her mind already was.

The moment she told me, I didn’t waste time. I replied calmly:

“Wow, your husband is a lucky man. God bless your home.”


Then I deleted her number.

Three weeks later, she messaged me again.

“Why did you suddenly stop chatting with me?”

I told her the truth: “You’re married. I’m respecting boundaries.”

Then I added playfully, “Besides, I’m Chike kind of guy… I’m a player… I shouldn't be seen around married women .... ”

She laughed. And that laughter opened the floodgates.

The next thing I knew, she was pouring everything out… how unhappy she is, her husband’s flaws, the disappointments, the frustration. Mother in-law wahala… his cheating tendencies and other tension in the home… She even admitted she was already nursing the idea of cheating… or leaving the marriage entirely.

Pause.

A married woman comfortably telling a random dude all her marital problems…

That’s how marriages die quietly.

But here’s where the story becomes interesting...

Instead of playing the “you deserve better” game so I could smash her, I spent the next two hours giving her the HARSHEST, MOST BITTER TRUTH she probably ever heard in her life.

I told her straightforwardly:

“There’s nothing outside. Like, literally...
Nothing.

The moment you leave your marriage, 95% of the men you meet… including me… will only want to sleep with you. That’s it. We won’t marry you. We won’t commit to you. We’ll just smash and move on.

You’re seeing your husband’s flaws because you live with him. Every man has flaws. You won’t see mine until you marry me. Every marriage will go through tough seasons. Stop letting social media deceive you… there is no perfect marriage out there.”

I didn’t stop there.

I then gave her practical, realistic strategies to start doing for the next 30 days to inspire her husband to change. Real psychological advice when it comes to dealing with men. Not prayer and fasting alone… real strategy.

Then I told her: “Do it and update me in one month.”

Two months passed. No word from her.

Then last month, my phone rang from an unknown number.

It was her.

First, She apologized for disappearing. Then she told me how her husband’s behavior had changed drastically. How the tension in the house melted. How respect and love returned to the home.

She said she would have regretted leaving her marriage for the rest of her life.

Then she thanked me for “saving her home.”

Before we ended the call, I playfully asked: “So where is my 50k marriage counseling fee?”

To my shock, she asked for my account number and sent 30k.

“Manage that one,” she said, laughing.



Anyways…. Here's the reality:


The biggest killer of marriages today is telling your marital problems to the wrong person.

As a woman, If you open up about your marital frustration into a bitter, single or “independent” woman, she will tell you:
“Leave him sis. There are better men out there.”

If you open up about your relationship problem to a weak, opportunistic man… he will pretend to be a better man while stylishy positioning himself to sleep with you. He’ll tell you everything you wants to hear just to get between your legs.

Very few people will tell you the truth like I did with that lady.

Most men will exploit your vulnerability just to smash you.

Most women will tell you to leave the marriage…just because they want you to be single like them.

This is why so many marriages that could have been saved are dead today.


The real reason so many marriages die quietly: they open up to the wrong people.

I then gave her practical, realistic strategies to start doing for the next 30 days to inspire her husband to change. Real psychological advice when it comes to dealing with men. Not prayer and fasting alone… real strategy.

A lot of women don't know how to train their husbands or don't know they might need to.

You, Sir, give me hope.

@OP, you have done well. Na man you be!

Mr. marriage counselor.. wehdone sir.

Can I shock you?.. the woman you counselled will go on to meet other guys and sleep with the ones she find attractive.
The problem wasn't the husband but the woman herself, majority of them are unappreciative of good guys and always feel there is something better for them elsewhere, reason they end up cheating and leaving their marriages.

@OP You did well for telling her the truth.. the world needs more men like you.

I will come back for a summary. I no get time to read potential lie.

Op, evidence of some of the conversation you both had, or forever hold your peace. 😌

Mariangeles:
Op, evidence of some of the conversation you both had, or forever hold your peace. 😌

You don't have to believe him. He dropped the story here for people to learn moral lessons and not to expose the woman or make her a laughing stock

People Wil wake up early morning be constructing lies, recycled nollywood movie

Mariangeles:
Op, evidence of some of the conversation you both had, or forever hold your peace. 😌

Shuooo.....na court case? What do you want to do with the evidence when there's alot of lessons to learn from the Op and even an opportunity to comment his effort at saving a marriage that was potentially heading for the rocks

That guy that has been disturbing you when he knows you are a married woman, what he will give you isn't love, he will only use you to practice the different sex styles he has seen and finally dumps you after having his fill. Go and check the statistics of married women that got married to the person they cheated on their husbands with, it is almost zero.

Pukkalolo:
Early this year, I met this fine girl. Young. Fresh. Smooth skin. We exchanged numbers, started chatting, and the vibe was flowing smooth. Then along the line, she dropped the bomb:

She’s married. With a child. Going into her third year of marriage.

The fact that she never mentioned her husband from the jump… That alone should tell you everything about where her mind already was.

The moment she told me, I didn’t waste time. I replied calmly:

“Wow, your husband is a lucky man. God bless your home.”


Then I deleted her number.

Three weeks later, she messaged me again.

“Why did you suddenly stop chatting with me?”

I told her the truth: “You’re married. I’m respecting boundaries.”

Then I added playfully, “Besides, I’m Chike kind of guy… I’m a player… I shouldn't be seen around married women .... ”

She laughed. And that laughter opened the floodgates.

The next thing I knew, she was pouring everything out… how unhappy she is, her husband’s flaws, the disappointments, the frustration. Mother in-law wahala… his cheating tendencies and other tension in the home… She even admitted she was already nursing the idea of cheating… or leaving the marriage entirely.

Pause.

A married woman comfortably telling a random dude all her marital problems…

That’s how marriages die quietly.

But here’s where the story becomes interesting...

Instead of playing the “you deserve better” game so I could smash her, I spent the next two hours giving her the HARSHEST, MOST BITTER TRUTH she probably ever heard in her life.

I told her straightforwardly:

“There’s nothing outside. Like, literally...
Nothing.

The moment you leave your marriage, 95% of the men you meet… including me… will only want to sleep with you. That’s it. We won’t marry you. We won’t commit to you. We’ll just smash and move on.

You’re seeing your husband’s flaws because you live with him. Every man has flaws. You won’t see mine until you marry me. Every marriage will go through tough seasons. Stop letting social media deceive you… there is no perfect marriage out there.”

I didn’t stop there.

I then gave her practical, realistic strategies to start doing for the next 30 days to inspire her husband to change. Real psychological advice when it comes to dealing with men. Not prayer and fasting alone… real strategy.

Then I told her: “Do it and update me in one month.”

Two months passed. No word from her.

Then last month, my phone rang from an unknown number.

It was her.

First, She apologized for disappearing. Then she told me how her husband’s behavior had changed drastically. How the tension in the house melted. How respect and love returned to the home.

She said she would have regretted leaving her marriage for the rest of her life.

Then she thanked me for “saving her home.”

Before we ended the call, I playfully asked: “So where is my 50k marriage counseling fee?”

To my shock, she asked for my account number and sent 30k.

“Manage that one,” she said, laughing.



Anyways…. Here's the reality:


The biggest killer of marriages today is telling your marital problems to the wrong person.

As a woman, If you open up about your marital frustration into a bitter, single or “independent” woman, she will tell you:
“Leave him sis. There are better men out there.”

If you open up about your relationship problem to a weak, opportunistic man… he will pretend to be a better man while stylishy positioning himself to sleep with you. He’ll tell you everything you wants to hear just to get between your legs.

Very few people will tell you the truth like I did with that lady.

Most men will exploit your vulnerability just to smash you.

Most women will tell you to leave the marriage…just because they want you to be single like them.

This is why so many marriages that could have been saved are dead today.


The real reason so many marriages die quietly: they open up to the wrong people.

Good one

This is where you see that women are out to dis troy men

"she asked for my account number and sent 30K"


Na that one I know say na creative writer dey drive the vehicle 🚜🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑

You a real man. Real men have boundaries. God bless you brother. I don’t know your location, we could hang out for drinks. All expense on me. I love guys with boundaries. Wish all men were that way seriously.

Pukkalolo:
Early this year, I met this fine girl. Young. Fresh. Smooth skin. We exchanged numbers, started chatting, and the vibe was flowing smooth. Then along the line, she dropped the bomb:

She’s married. With a child. Going into her third year of marriage.

The fact that she never mentioned her husband from the jump… That alone should tell you everything about where her mind already was.

The moment she told me, I didn’t waste time. I replied calmly:

“Wow, your husband is a lucky man. God bless your home.”


Then I deleted her number.

Three weeks later, she messaged me again.

“Why did you suddenly stop chatting with me?”

I told her the truth: “You’re married. I’m respecting boundaries.”

Then I added playfully, “Besides, I’m Chike kind of guy… I’m a player… I shouldn't be seen around married women .... ”

She laughed. And that laughter opened the floodgates.

The next thing I knew, she was pouring everything out… how unhappy she is, her husband’s flaws, the disappointments, the frustration. Mother in-law wahala… his cheating tendencies and other tension in the home… She even admitted she was already nursing the idea of cheating… or leaving the marriage entirely.

Pause.

A married woman comfortably telling a random dude all her marital problems…

That’s how marriages die quietly.

But here’s where the story becomes interesting...

Instead of playing the “you deserve better” game so I could smash her, I spent the next two hours giving her the HARSHEST, MOST BITTER TRUTH she probably ever heard in her life.

I told her straightforwardly:

“There’s nothing outside. Like, literally...
Nothing.

The moment you leave your marriage, 95% of the men you meet… including me… will only want to sleep with you. That’s it. We won’t marry you. We won’t commit to you. We’ll just smash and move on.

You’re seeing your husband’s flaws because you live with him. Every man has flaws. You won’t see mine until you marry me. Every marriage will go through tough seasons. Stop letting social media deceive you… there is no perfect marriage out there.”

I didn’t stop there.

I then gave her practical, realistic strategies to start doing for the next 30 days to inspire her husband to change. Real psychological advice when it comes to dealing with men. Not prayer and fasting alone… real strategy.

Then I told her: “Do it and update me in one month.”

Two months passed. No word from her.

Then last month, my phone rang from an unknown number.

It was her.

First, She apologized for disappearing. Then she told me how her husband’s behavior had changed drastically. How the tension in the house melted. How respect and love returned to the home.

She said she would have regretted leaving her marriage for the rest of her life.

Then she thanked me for “saving her home.”

Before we ended the call, I playfully asked: “So where is my 50k marriage counseling fee?”

To my shock, she asked for my account number and sent 30k.

“Manage that one,” she said, laughing.



Anyways…. Here's the reality:


The biggest killer of marriages today is telling your marital problems to the wrong person.

As a woman, If you open up about your marital frustration into a bitter, single or “independent” woman, she will tell you:
“Leave him sis. There are better men out there.”

If you open up about your relationship problem to a weak, opportunistic man… he will pretend to be a better man while stylishy positioning himself to sleep with you. He’ll tell you everything you wants to hear just to get between your legs.

Very few people will tell you the truth like I did with that lady.

Most men will exploit your vulnerability just to smash you.

Most women will tell you to leave the marriage…just because they want you to be single like them.

This is why so many marriages that could have been saved are dead today.


The real reason so many marriages die quietly: they open up to the wrong people.

Mariangeles:
Op, evidence of some of the conversation you both had, or forever hold your peace. 😌

Shey you want make everywhere blur ni? You dey ask for evidence from someone that concocted tales by moonlight to entertain himself and other gullible people (like him).

Naija women dey take advice? Taaa! They will only lament to you as a way of venting or releasing their pent-up anger. They have already decided (long ago) what they wanted to do. All your advice and marriage counselling na mosquito sound to their ears.

If a woman says she wants to leave her husband, chances are she had already left him in her mind. My friend's wife was packing her things in bits without Bros realizing it. The day that she decided to leave completely, she and my guy still knack that morning. Only for Bros to reach house and realize that she had left. When I spoke to her to try to salvage the situation, na that day I begin dey fear women.

OP dey whyne himself. But what can I say? It's a good thing he's entertaining us with his tales by moonlight sha.

#Picks_tooth

People who are saying that op is lying have probably never truly lived.

I have been exactly in op position but mine was with an ex. .

After several years of no communication, she chatted me up with "hi".

I have to call her immediately because it's be a long time. We talked and I noticed deep sadness in her voice.

After a month of our reconnection, I asked her what's the problem was. After forth and back denial she opened up to her marital crisis.

I immediately played the devil's advocate by siding the man.

After several arguments I gave up and concluded that her husband is one at fault. Man is a real dog and she has evidences. And for 4 years no child yet and man is not bothered.

She was planning to leave of which I encouraged her.

Then she threw the grenade "if I leave would you still want me?"

Thank God it was a chat, I just logged out and I felt bad supporting her decision to leave. I can't have her back, never.

Unlike op, I couldn't find the courage to tell her the stone-cold truth, so I told her half baked truth.

ravensckar:
Shey you want make everywhere blur ni? You dey ask for evidence from someone that concocted tales by moonlight to entertain himself and other gullible people (like him).

Stranger things do happen, so...

Naija women dey take advice? Taaa! They will only lament to you as a way of venting or releasing their pent-up anger. They have already decided (long ago) what they wanted to do. All your advice and marriage counselling na mosquito sound to their ears.

If a woman says she wants to leave her husband, chances are she had already left him in her mind. My friend's wife was packing her things in bits without Bros realizing it. The day that she decided to leave completely, she and my guy still knack that morning. Only for Bros to reach house and realize that she had left. When I spoke to her to try to salvage the situation, na that day I begin dey fear women.

OP dey whyne himself. But what can I say? It's a good thing he's entertaining us with his tales by moonlight sha.

#Picks_tooth

When a woman has made up her mind to leave her husband, just know that water has passed garri.
She don talk taya.

So, tell us what your friend did to his wife.
You forgot that part. 😌

Ekaka14:
Shuooo.....na court case? What do you want to do with the evidence when there's alot of lessons to learn from the Op and even an opportunity to comment his effort at saving a marriage that was potentially heading for the rocks

Do you just believe everything you read online?
You gats ask for proof naa.

Mariangeles:
Stranger things do happen, so...



When a woman has made up her mind to leave her husband, just know that water has passed garri.
She don talk taya.

So, tell us what your friend did to his wife.
You forgot that part. 😌

Shey make I give you him number make you ask am?

ravensckar:
Shey make I give you him number make you ask am?

I no go mind.
I no like stories with loose ends.

flokii:
Mr. marriage counselor.. wehdone sir.

Can I shock you?.. the woman you counselled will go on to meet other guys and sleep with the ones she find attractive.
The problem wasn't the husband but the woman herself, majority of them are unappreciative of good guys and always feel there is something better for them elsewhere, reason they end up cheating and leaving their marriages.

@OP You did well for telling her the truth.. the world needs more men like you.

You are correct guy!!! He rejected her and she is ashamed so she will pretend to follow his advice when in her mind, she sees him as a John. She will look for someone else. Even if he shows her he will like to sleep with her now, she will gladly accept the offer.

Mariangeles:
Stranger things do happen, so...



When a woman has made up her mind to leave her husband, just know that water has passed garri.
She don talk taya.

So, tell us what your friend did to his wife.
You forgot that part. 😌

So according to what you typed the man is always at fault abi? Lol na wah. It's always our fault and never the woman's. Typical

screenshot of the 30k first

Even if the story na fake, but OP really just try bring this kind fake story wey make sense.
Cuz most stories for this romance section dey always vex me, e dey like all women are devil and men are angels.
Sirchiboy and that other Keke rider one wey bannies no dey ever finish for im mouth na the worst OP for nairaland, Seun suppose give am award.

No man should ever give his wife the opportunity to seek emotional succour outside but sadly, men create these loopholes.
Inasmuch as there are women who cheat st the drop of the hat, there are others who got into the act because they were PUSHED into it by their husbands who didn't care about the emotional needs of their wives!
The Bible admonished husbands to deal 'wisely' with the wives of their youth so their prayers would not be hindered.
Be there for you wife, not only financially, but most importantly, emotionally.
Give her listening ears. Be the shoulder she can rely on. Share in her dreams, fears and aspirations. Be her biggest supporter. Be her hero.

Let's just have a quick look at this. everything's so perfectly staged. It's all about the little things. a few perfectly crafted sentences to keep the romance flowing. Absolutely flawless, really. No complaints whatsoever.

Mariangeles:
Op, evidence of some of the conversation you both had, or forever hold your peace. 😌

I'm not here to convince you. Stay blessed.

Ikennaford:
People Wil wake up early morning be constructing lies, recycled nollywood movie

I don't even watch nollywood movies... Lol

favour32:
"she asked for my account number and sent 30K"


Na that one I know say na creative writer dey drive the vehicle 🚜🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑

Lol... 30k isn't really anything special to me. I get favors like that every now and then.

Tenses:
People who are saying that op is lying have probably never truly lived.

I have been exactly in op position but mine was with an ex. .

After several years of no communication, she chatted me up with "hi".

I have to call her immediately because it's be a long time. We talked and I noticed deep sadness in her voice.

After a month of our reconnection, I asked her what's the problem was. After forth and back denial she opened up to her marital crisis.

I immediately played the devil's advocate by siding the man.

After several arguments I gave up and concluded that her husband is one at fault. Man is a real dog and she has evidences. And for 4 years no child yet and man is not bothered.

She was planning to leave of which I encouraged her.

Then she threw the grenade "if I leave would you still want me?"

Thank God it was a chat, I just logged out and I felt bad supporting her decision to leave. I can't have her back, never.

Unlike op, I couldn't find the courage to tell her the stone-cold truth, so I told her half baked truth.

It's always funny when I share something I've actually lived through and people immediately call it a lie.

My first thought is usually: "Wow... so they've never experienced anything like this before? What kind of life have they been living?"

This isn't even the first married woman I've turned down. This one just happened to stand out.