₦airaland Forum

VenExchangee:
I was into one girl, she came to visit, time to go, I called bike man, the bike man said he wants to cook If he should come now or later after cooking, I asked the girl she didn't say anything then I told the bike man to come, when he came, she told me to tell him to go back, which I did but after 4 mins he said I should tell him to come, I pleaded with the bike man, after he dropped her, that was the last day I spoke to her, picked her call or reply her chat, na this morning I block her for Whatsapp

For this single act, you'll definitely live long my bro.

socoharley:
*love bombing......but I knew such emotions were too early as she was just trying to unlock my bank account

Baba any sorji guy wey done run street go always know. Wetin we be dey do back to back. The real yahoo boys na girls . Naija girls wey sabi do love bombing and romantic manipulation pass another thing? Na their primary occupation be that. The only difference na be say their own na local and na facie dem dey run. If she is not sacrificing anything, I would just know she's not into me.

A lady who lost her dad before the age of 13

A single mom

A lady who has been in a long term relationship with a yahoo boy


If you ignore these things you will suffer and may end up paying with your life. No jokes

Boxnaijatv:
We've all done it. Saw the sign clear as day, felt that small alarm go off somewhere in our chest, and still convinced ourselves "maybe it's not that deep" or "people can change." Then months (or years) later, we're sitting there like "ah ah, but I saw this coming now."
‎
‎Let me start us off honestly:
‎
‎For me, it was someone who talked badly about every single one of their exes — like every single one was "crazy," "toxic," or "the problem." At the time I thought "ah, this person has just had bad luck with people." Fast forward into the relationship myself, and guess who eventually became "the crazy ex" in somebody else's story? Should have picked up on that pattern immediately — when everyone before you is "the problem," you're just next in line, not the exception.
‎
‎Some common ones I've seen people mention over time:
‎
‎🚩 "I don't really have close friends" — and thinking it makes them more focused on you, when really it can mean isolation later
‎🚩 Love bombing early — excessive attention, gifts, "I've never felt this way before" within the first few weeks
‎🚩 Getting weirdly upset over small things very early — a preview of how conflict will actually be handled later
‎🚩 Money inconsistencies — vague about income, spending habits, or debt, brushed off as "we'll figure it out"
‎🚩 Watching how they treat waiters, drivers, or people who "can't do anything for them"
‎🚩 Jealousy disguised as "I just love you too much"
‎🚩 Anger issues explained away as "I'm just passionate" or "that's just how I am"
‎🚩 They talk about family in a way that quietly foreshadows exactly how they'll eventually treat you
‎
‎The scary part isn't that we don't see these signs. Most of us do. We just talk ourselves out of taking them seriously — "maybe I'm overthinking," "nobody's perfect," "the good outweighs the bad right now." And by the time the red flag fully reveals itself, we're already emotionally invested, sometimes years deep, sometimes with kids or finances tied in.
‎
‎So let's hear it — what red flag did YOU see clearly, ignore anyway, and later regret not taking seriously? Doesn't have to be dramatic, even the "small" ones that turned out to matter a lot. Let's help someone reading this recognize theirs before it's too late 👇

Poor handwriting

writetopoker:
Ever getting close to a lady who have more of male companions and love sitting out with different men and claims they are just friends

No red flag obvious pass this one

Being a single mother. 🤦

Very normal bro

Don't rush yourself abeg. Also make sure you kearn from your friends or those around you so you don't do the same mistake as them

vick00:
I don't know why I have never been in more than 2 relationship all my life. I only care about how I will eat and live a better life. Do you think it is normal?? I'm 27

pappilo:
Omo see voltron. My ex defended her sister… say if him sister dey disrespect their papa, who I be wey dem no fit disrespect.

Broooo!!! Na your story muzz be pass, which kind kele you go follow so.
Shey no be all these street girls wey no dey sabi their mate??

Nothing irritate me pass that calling any guy pet names. My love, babe,.....nonsense

Demigod22:
Boundaries. Dating someone that doesn't know where to draw the line. Every guy celebrating birthday must be on her status with poem. She can call any guy my love because they are just words. Cooking for other guys, not knowing when to cut another guy off because she doesn't understand boundaries.

Entitlement. He must pay for my house rent, buy me a new phone, give me allowance, do this for me or do that for me.

Single mother, this is subjective. However, no matter how good a woman is, as long as she's a single Mom, I am not doing.

I respect people that can immediately cut off bullsh1t . No be to allow one yeye love cover your eye

pappilo:
Disrespect/No regard

Whilst I can handle/take disrespect from the person I am seeing, one must properly deal with any disrespect from their family member immediately otherwise you go still meet am for front.

I am 12 years older than my ex. She is 2 years older than her sister. Whenever we are together with her sister na so she go dey send me message, dey take hand call me.

Let me give an example. We were all together on holiday and I was in a hotel lobby chatting with the said sisters husband. Na so the girl dey take hand beckon me, I pointed to her husband and shook her head and she motioned for both of us. Na so we waka go meet she and my ex. The girl then said to me and her husband "go and bring down our suitcases from the room". This wasnt her first time but this was the worst one. Me wey I get bad mouth but I have always held my tongue. I later complained to my ex yet again.

It happened again just over a month ago at a party and because I didnt want to cause no drama I waited till we go home and told my ex that she should tell her sister that the next time she talks to me like that I will slap her.

Omo see voltron. My ex defended her sister. She was not even having it dey shout ontop my head say if him sister dey disrespect their papa, who I be wey dem no fit disrespect. Na so I know say that relationship don finish. I will take some disrespect from the person I am seeing because that come a with the territory but you see from family members especially when you cosign it. That will never fly

Continue friendship for what. That way she can manipulate you or de chop you

Abeg cut her off. To me no difference btw dating such and being friends with such people

Osuman:
Telling me no sex before marriage, but making videos calls with men older enough to be her father, leaving school of nursing to spend weekend in the hotel and telling me her close friend invite her to the hotel to spend time together because of the issue between us without her parents knowing she is in town not in school, changing her Whatsapp chat to disappearing message. Baba she don chop that can 35k from me oh but ehn that is the end we continue our friendship but no more spending. I don too mumu

How are you coping, have you complained to her or even her mom ? Is there changes? If no changes , what is your plan? Can you manage it and continue ?

mjbaba:
She liked buying food rather than cooking.

I thought she would change after marriage

She didn't. I come home several times to meet no food yet we have foodstuff

Check well. Is there a reason she doesn't like sex? Maybe due to a past experience or so? If yes , then you guys should seek professional help

If No, then my bro maybe she just doesn't like having it with you.

Toktee:
When it comes to seex she seems not to like it and kept giving excuses that we should waite till marriage ....I believed her but after marriage it's now worst.

I de tell you. No stress at all

naturefellow:
it's normal bro. You don't know the heartache you're missing. Keep it up.

At the right time, the right one will cross path with you and everything will align.

mjbaba:
She liked buying food rather than cooking.

I thought she would change after marriage

She didn't. I come home several times to meet no food yet we have foodstuff

baba this is not right, painful to read. I hope things change for you

socoharley:
*love bombing......but I knew such emotions were too early as she was just trying to unlock my bank account

Sense want finish okoro😂

Threedoorsdown:
I respect people that can immediately cut off bullsh1t . No be to allow one yeye love cover your eye

No be the first time o and even I did not expect this to lead to ending the relationship. It has happened many times over the past 5 years from this same sister. The rest of her family her lovely. On this day their were just too many Bleep ups, she dey send me message, no give me food for party wey dem dey run. I just decided that I had to draw the line with the disrespect. I probably wouldn't have slapped her if it happened again but I wouldn't have kept quiet like before, I would have given her a proper response.

What ended the relationship was that my ex supported her sister's bad behaviour fully. Dey tell.me.dontbtalk about my sister, I dont 2ant to hear anything about my sister. That means she had probably not spoken to her about incidents in the past or spoken to her about it lightheartedly.

E no go better for love. She sef no believe say na 'small' ting like that go end every. Person wey don do major Bleep up before wey I no end relationship. E shock am!

This thread sweet

Bro no be only say she support the sister, for the sister to de disrespect you like that mean say your ex don tell am nonsense about you . So your ex sister's husband still de mumu de go. Na wa o

pappilo:
No be the first time o and even I did not expect this to lead to ending the relationship. It has happened many times over the past 5 years from this same sister. The rest of her family her lovely. On this day their were just too many Bleep ups, she dey send me message, no give me food for party wey dem dey run. I just decided that I had to draw the line with the disrespect. I probably wouldn't have slapped her if it happened again but I wouldn't have kept quiet like before, I would have given her a proper response.

What ended the relationship was that my ex supported her sister's bad behaviour fully. Dey tell.me.dontbtalk about my sister, I dont 2ant to hear anything about my sister. That means she had probably not spoken to her about incidents in the past or spoken to her about it lightheartedly.

E no go better for love. She sef no believe say na 'small' ting like that go end every. Person wey don do major Bleep up before wey I no end relationship. E shock am!

pappilo:
Disrespect/No regard

Whilst I can handle/take disrespect from the person I am seeing, one must properly deal with any disrespect from their family member immediately otherwise you go still meet am for front.

I am 12 years older than my ex. She is 2 years older than her sister. Whenever we are together with her sister na so she go dey send me message, dey take hand call me.

Let me give an example. We were all together on holiday and I was in a hotel lobby chatting with the said sisters husband. Na so the girl dey take hand beckon me, I pointed to her husband and shook her head and she motioned for both of us. Na so we waka go meet she and my ex. The girl then said to me and her husband "go and bring down our suitcases from the room". This wasnt her first time but this was the worst one. Me wey I get bad mouth but I have always held my tongue. I later complained to my ex yet again.

It happened again just over a month ago at a party and because I didnt want to cause no drama I waited till we go home and told my ex that she should tell her sister that the next time she talks to me like that I will slap her.

Omo see voltron. My ex defended her sister. She was not even having it dey shout ontop my head say if him sister dey disrespect their papa, who I be wey dem no fit disrespect. Na so I know say that relationship don finish. I will take some disrespect from the person I am seeing because that come a with the territory but you see from family members especially when you cosign it. That will never fly

WTF!

Most of my friends are guys, I dont usually have female friends- dem dey crowd bang this one on a regular or she be pasa-passa

I foolishly ignored a slap despite d circumstance i was in n den it gradually progressed into punching n then strangulation. Hm

pappilo:
Disrespect/No regard

Whilst I can handle/take disrespect from the person I am seeing, one must properly deal with any disrespect from their family member immediately otherwise you go still meet am for front.

I am 12 years older than my ex. She is 2 years older than her sister. Whenever we are together with her sister na so she go dey send me message, dey take hand call me.

Let me give an example. We were all together on holiday and I was in a hotel lobby chatting with the said sisters husband. Na so the girl dey take hand beckon me, I pointed to her husband and shook her head and she motioned for both of us. Na so we waka go meet she and my ex. The girl then said to me and her husband "go and bring down our suitcases from the room". This wasnt her first time but this was the worst one. Me wey I get bad mouth but I have always held my tongue. I later complained to my ex yet again.

It happened again just over a month ago at a party and because I didnt want to cause no drama I waited till we go home and told my ex that she should tell her sister that the next time she talks to me like that I will slap her.

Omo see voltron. My ex defended her sister. She was not even having it dey shout ontop my head say if him sister dey disrespect their papa, who I be wey dem no fit disrespect. Na so I know say that relationship don finish. I will take some disrespect from the person I am seeing because that come a with the territory but you see from family members especially when you cosign it. That will never fly

Your weakness started from the onset. The fact that, her family member (not even her parents, for the sake of old age and tradition) like her sister is confident enough to send you on several errands, exposed you as a simp. You F up!!!

Her mom was a single mom of about five children, different dads. So, my ex got about two different step-fathers. I started seeing signs when she never celebrated (on her S/M status) her own father talk less of steps or other men in general..

Another sign was she wanting to control, she takes charge without my approval and gets angry at my corrections! Na once I chase the stubborn witch comot go her mama house back!!!

pappilo:
Disrespect/No regard

Whilst I can handle/take disrespect from the person I am seeing, one must properly deal with any disrespect from their family member immediately otherwise you go still meet am for front.

I am 12 years older than my ex. She is 2 years older than her sister. Whenever we are together with her sister na so she go dey send me message, dey take hand call me.

Let me give an example. We were all together on holiday and I was in a hotel lobby chatting with the said sisters husband. Na so the girl dey take hand beckon me, I pointed to her husband and shook her head and she motioned for both of us. Na so we waka go meet she and my ex. The girl then said to me and her husband "go and bring down our suitcases from the room". This wasnt her first time but this was the worst one. Me wey I get bad mouth but I have always held my tongue. I later complained to my ex yet again.

It happened again just over a month ago at a party and because I didnt want to cause no drama I waited till we go home and told my ex that she should tell her sister that the next time she talks to me like that I will slap her.

Omo see voltron. My ex defended her sister. She was not even having it dey shout ontop my head say if him sister dey disrespect their papa, who I be wey dem no fit disrespect. Na so I know say that relationship don finish. I will take some disrespect from the person I am seeing because that come a with the territory but you see from family members especially when you cosign it. That will never fly

The question is, how did you get to that point, that level of disrespect?
It depends on how you carried yourself around them [the family].

Even tolerating disrespect from a partner is wrong, and has nothing to do with love.

You should not have stood up from where you were seated in the first place, when she beckoned for you to come.
When no be say na your mama.

You must be a jeje guy sha.

What you tolerate will determine how people respect you.

Threedoorsdown:
I respect people that can immediately cut off bullsh1t . No be to allow one yeye love cover your eye

Nah! The guy tolerated too much already.

You need to communicate red flags. If they don't try to do better, you leave them be. No one is perfect

Boxnaijatv:
We've all done it. Saw the sign clear as day, felt that small alarm go off somewhere in our chest, and still convinced ourselves "maybe it's not that deep" or "people can change." Then months (or years) later, we're sitting there like "ah ah, but I saw this coming now."
‎
‎Let me start us off honestly:
‎
‎For me, it was someone who talked badly about every single one of their exes — like every single one was "crazy," "toxic," or "the problem." At the time I thought "ah, this person has just had bad luck with people." Fast forward into the relationship myself, and guess who eventually became "the crazy ex" in somebody else's story? Should have picked up on that pattern immediately — when everyone before you is "the problem," you're just next in line, not the exception.
‎
‎Some common ones I've seen people mention over time:
‎
‎🚩 "I don't really have close friends" — and thinking it makes them more focused on you, when really it can mean isolation later
‎🚩 Love bombing early — excessive attention, gifts, "I've never felt this way before" within the first few weeks
‎🚩 Getting weirdly upset over small things very early — a preview of how conflict will actually be handled later
‎🚩 Money inconsistencies — vague about income, spending habits, or debt, brushed off as "we'll figure it out"
‎🚩 Watching how they treat waiters, drivers, or people who "can't do anything for them"
‎🚩 Jealousy disguised as "I just love you too much"
‎🚩 Anger issues explained away as "I'm just passionate" or "that's just how I am"
‎🚩 They talk about family in a way that quietly foreshadows exactly how they'll eventually treat you
‎
‎The scary part isn't that we don't see these signs. Most of us do. We just talk ourselves out of taking them seriously — "maybe I'm overthinking," "nobody's perfect," "the good outweighs the bad right now." And by the time the red flag fully reveals itself, we're already emotionally invested, sometimes years deep, sometimes with kids or finances tied in.
‎
‎So let's hear it — what red flag did YOU see clearly, ignore anyway, and later regret not taking seriously? Doesn't have to be dramatic, even the "small" ones that turned out to matter a lot. Let's help someone reading this recognize theirs before it's too late 👇

VenExchangee:
I was into one girl, she came to visit, time to go, I called bike man, the bike man said he wants to cook If he should come now or later after cooking, I asked the girl she didn't say anything then I told the bike man to come, when he came, she told me to tell him to go back, which I did but after 4 mins he said I should tell him to come, I pleaded with the bike man, after he dropped her, that was the last day I spoke to her, picked her call or reply her chat, na this morning I block her for Whatsapp

Na the bike man I pity for this nonsense.

Even if the girl didn't respect the bike man, what about you?
Why did you have to call him back to that shenanigan?

As for the girl, that one will not respect nor regard anyone.

[quote author=Kingrshd3 post=140035483

Same reason I left the babe I was supposed to marry but I had no choice than to leave her because she wasn't ready to change....... So glad I made that choice

Camw from broken home

TheMensch:
How can I be a very wicked person abeg?

I'm interested too, I want to learn