₦airaland Forum

Dzzzz:
If you fail to plan,you plan to fail..If you like no plan your life,make you go fly inside marriage,you go cry pass new born baby…If you can’t take care of yourself then you have no business with marriage..

Person fit plan him life to the T make country, unexplained events or immigration policies change am for you.

Life ma risk.

I must married this year... It won't pass this year. .. ..just wait mk I switch on my beasts mode 🤕

bentenny:
As a man,do not marry if you are not financially stable.
E get why.
Remember that I said financial stability not wealthy.

Does the word "financial stability" exists in a third world country?

You mean a man taking five home lessons to earn 100k a month is financial stability?

Remember that a country's policy can turn everything upside down.

Op, you're right. I'm 33 now. My neighbours look at Me like I'm gay. I don't bring every dick and Harry home I see wearing skirt. For Me to bring to my apartment, you must have only 3 qualities.
1. Passion for your job or huddle
2. Empathy for others
3. Be patient.

The 3rd May shock many ladies. I was not born into wealth. I am making my own wealth.

Imagine my parents called Me that they hard something to tell Me. I thought it was about their health or their usual financial support needed from Me. Only for Me to visit and they started this marriage talk... I was angry, frustrated and depressed...

Do you know how stressful it is to date... Start all over when the person doesn't meet up with the basic mindset. I'm not saying she should be perfect. Just have that mindset of being psychologically sound...

aybabz101:
Its not only about money these days @ op.... a lot of things are going on in the society....

I know a lot of guys in their mid thirties and with great career, and they are just not interested....same with women....

I think its sudden societal changes particularly with guys between 1990 and 1997....

These guys seens to be the last set of people with home training...and when they are looking into the dating market they are seeing Gen Zs or semi-Gen Zs that they just somehow dont plum together...

again, ladies borm between 1990 and 1997 were just too engrossed in their career, and when they woke...., men don scarce...

most men these days just need to acclimatize to the idea of dating their agemates or older women......

that is my take...

Boss, more blessings... You understand Me perfectly... Dating a Lady now becomes herculean because of the Gen Z mentality.... They let social media tell them that they are the prize... Just bill the guys... Imagine chatting with Lady yesterday for the first time, weeraay say she no get Data, she dey hungry and she's also not feeling fine... Boss I'm not making this up... I'm tired...

Amarabae:
Happy to be back after a long period of break

So you're still not married till now ?

I used to be one tormentor right here on nairaland back in the day

TheStoriesOfMan:
Person fit plan him life to the T make country, unexplained events or immigration policies change am for you.

Life ma risk.

That one follow ,even Nigeria Dey change person destiny..

So he now wants to marry to prove that he is not gay?

You people are not serious at all

Let him go and marry when he's not yet financially bouyant

He will eventually wish he was actually gay

Amarabae:
Growing up,I used to think that marital pressure is a feminine thing, like it is something you as a girl growing up in a conservative African home must brace yourself up to face and conquer.

As maturity and exposure beckoned, I discovered that it is not gender based, even young men especially in their 30s also face this "pressure to marry" though subtly to a large extent.

Getting off the phone recently with an old time friend, he told me how the economic situation in Nigeria has been preventing him from settling down admist pressure from family and friends about him getting married; mind you, he is 37!!

What shocked me is that a neighbor of his is even suspecting him to be gay!!!
You should know some amebo Nigerians especially in some busy neighborhood, the lgbt conscientiousness has thrived so high that any young man who is not a womanizer or yet married at some point gets suspected to be one of the rainbow people.

I have to take my time to counsel him because from the voice, I detected a young man slipping into the degenerative arms of depression!!

To all the 30+ bachelors here!
Listen to me.

We live life once!
Don't allow societal pressure to push you into taking a decision you are not prepared for.
Marriage is not a child's play, it involves both emotional, social and financial stability.

It is a 50-50 journey with unpredictable outcome
Just focus on building yourself, chasing your dreams and making your a bit financially stable.
I am emphasizing on financial stability because it is extremely important for a marriage to be smooth!

You don't have to be a millionaire to start, NO
But get to a point where you can sustain two people (new wife and potentially a baby) for 30 days.

What about the wife? Will she not contribute? Someone may be tempted to ask!
My dear, yes , a supportive lady ought to support but big brother, You should not take the risk of entering into marriage with a meagre source of income and be hoping on the lady you want to marry to support.

Many went this path and it produced mixed results
Grow your finances
Develop yourself
Take your time, don't make the move out of pressure , It is your life to live and your decision to make.

I have gotten to the point in life even as a lady that I will not live my life according to other people's wishes
If you are not ready, don't enter!
Enter when you are ready .
Love you all plenty
Oriaku cares

Wetin Una dey see for inside this marriage sef?

How can I become interested in getting married, for I have no interest in it, as I am.

Please help.

franchasng:
Well done madam.

Please continue with your message, it's a good message that every Nigerian bachelor must take serious.


Being someone that witness the two sides of life in Naija and off on constant basis, I can comfortably tell you that it's not easy for Nigerian men of today, all thanks to failed APC regime. That is why I keep criticizing Tinubu's government anytime I have a chance to say or write a word.


The number of people asking and begging for help to feed, to stay afloat, to pay rent, to pay school fees, etc is now at the rooftop level in Nigeria. Civil servants and presumed working class Nigerians are now like jobless people because their salaries cannot even sustain them for a week if they were to feed properly, cloth properly, house properly and live well. It's a sad situation in Nigeria now and reason every Nigerian irrespective of tribe must take 2027 Presidential election very serious as if he or she is contesting the election to ensure Tinubu is voted out at all cost because he failed woefully and still bragging in his failure without showing any sign of remorse which shows that he would do worst if he returns back for a second tenure.


I keep wondering how a bachelor in Nigeria today will have the courage to get married with the situation of Nigeria's economy.

Traveling interstate in Nigeria by road is now a suicide mission, something we use to take as fun driving from Lagos to East, stopping over at Benin and meeting with hundreds of other travelers, some travelers even catch girlfriends and boyfriends there, while those coming back to Lagos from East stopped at Ore with joy and travelers had fun, the only fear back then was armed robbers and it's only for those traveling at night, but today, interstate travelers now fear kidnappers more than armed robbers yet there is a President.


Nigeria's situation do make me feel so depressed sometimes when I think about it.


Please to all bachelors in Nigeria, please take the Op's advice very serious, don't rush into marriage if you don't have a good and stable income because you will regret your life and the marriage will be a nightmare. You are better off single than enter marriage today with unstable and insufficient income.

Uncle, this is way too long for a comment. Create a thread and I'll read it

Amarabae:
Growing up,I used to think that marital pressure is a feminine thing, like it is something you as a girl growing up in a conservative African home must brace yourself up to face and conquer.

As maturity and exposure beckoned, I discovered that it is not gender based, even young men especially in their 30s also face this "pressure to marry" though subtly to a large extent.

Getting off the phone recently with an old time friend, he told me how the economic situation in Nigeria has been preventing him from settling down admist pressure from family and friends about him getting married; mind you, he is 37!!

What shocked me is that a neighbor of his is even suspecting him to be gay!!!
You should know some amebo Nigerians especially in some busy neighborhood, the lgbt conscientiousness has thrived so high that any young man who is not a womanizer or yet married at some point gets suspected to be one of the rainbow people.

I have to take my time to counsel him because from the voice, I detected a young man slipping into the degenerative arms of depression!!

To all the 30+ bachelors here!
Listen to me.

We live life once!
Don't allow societal pressure to push you into taking a decision you are not prepared for.
Marriage is not a child's play, it involves both emotional, social and financial stability.

It is a 50-50 journey with unpredictable outcome
Just focus on building yourself, chasing your dreams and making your a bit financially stable.
I am emphasizing on financial stability because it is extremely important for a marriage to be smooth!

You don't have to be a millionaire to start, NO
But get to a point where you can sustain two people (new wife and potentially a baby) for 30 days.

What about the wife? Will she not contribute? Someone may be tempted to ask!
My dear, yes , a supportive lady ought to support but big brother, You should not take the risk of entering into marriage with a meagre source of income and be hoping on the lady you want to marry to support.

Many went this path and it produced mixed results
Grow your finances
Develop yourself
Take your time, don't make the move out of pressure , It is your life to live and your decision to make.

I have gotten to the point in life even as a lady that I will not live my life according to other people's wishes
If you are not ready, don't enter!
Enter when you are ready .
Love you all plenty
Oriaku cares

The pressure weighs differently

For a woman, the older they get the riskier it gets…

A woman going pass 35 entering 40 and still not married may have issues having kids… it’s the biological clock and all.. women hit peak fertility at mid 20s.

DDexter99:
Boss, more blessings... You understand Me perfectly... Dating a Lady now becomes herculean because of the Gen Z mentality.... They let social media tell them that they are the prize... Just bill the guys... Imagine chatting with Lady yesterday for the first time, weeraay say she no get Data, she dey hungry and she's also not feeling fine... Boss I'm not making this up... I'm tired...

Kick her out with the best kick you’ve got… imagine you want to kick a powerful shot to score a thriller goal in WC final, give her that kind of kick out of ya way…

It’s nonsense men that enable this kind of nonsense behavior… I don’t take such nonsense

Amarabae:
You don't have to be a millionaire to start, NO
But get to a point where you can sustain two people (new wife and potentially a baby) for 30 days.

Is marriage to Nigerian girls a joke to you?
Marriage na 30days?
Yoo need money to sustain staying married to a Nigerian girl especially the ones from poverty homes (you would think they'd be cheaper and understand how to manage, na they are even more expensive to maintain)
Every relationship to Nigerian girls is birthed on your ability to provide and that graduates into the marriage.
Once you start to do otherwise, you'll have two men in the home.

Please do not give advice you do not know Jack about

VeeVeeMyLuv:
Manchelors

Unclechelors

Brochelors

Babachelors

Me I be grandpachelor, Great grandpachelor and Ancestorchelor combination.

Yeah ... I like this line , it involves Emotion , social and Financial stability ..As you've listed ..
And me I add Intention to them..
We really need to be intentional about our dear lives ...
The reason why I keep saying we need Self Discovery , if you dig deep on this , you will know what you wanted and who fits into your life.. I got my fingers burnt because I substitute emotions for intention and the pain to this moment still hurts . I keep asking myself rhetorically, why I do this to my dear life !!! ... You see , when a man or woman keep sounding like this ( well .. maybe... I think ... Hmmm.. let me try .... Will it ... ) ,your not being intentional there , you're just emotional and something like what we're discussing now does not needs that ... Life is a fight for territory ,if you stop fighting for what you want , what you don't want will automatically set in

Amarabae:
Happy to be back after a long period of break

Will you marry me

TheStoriesOfMan:
Does the word "financial stability" exists in a third world country?

You mean a man taking five home lessons to earn 100k a month is financial stability?

Remember that a country's policy can turn everything upside down.

A financially stable man in my opinion is someone that can take care of his bills and can 'manage' to assume responsibility of more than one person.
A man who can feed himself properly or can't take care of his bills without begging or consistently borrowing has no business getting married.
A man who is struggling financially cannot sustain himself adequately let alone take up the responsibilities of others.

bentenny:
A financially stable man in my opinion is someone that can take care of his bills and can 'manage' to assume responsibility of more than one person.
A man who can feed himself properly or can't take care of his bills without begging or consistently borrowing has no business getting married.
A man who is struggling financially cannot sustain himself adequately let alone take up the responsibilities of others.

I understand and you are correct.

If WHAT IF some economic downturn or change in technological shift happens, what also happens to the financial stability of a man?

Even at that, financial stability in a third-world country is a very brutal reality.

TheStoriesOfMan:
I understand and you are correct.

If WHAT IF some economic downturn or change in technological shift happens, what also happens to the financial stability of a man?

Even at that, financial stability in a third-world country is a very brutal reality.

I totally agree with this.

Sex is marriage. Let no one deceive you. If you have sex with someone, you have entered your first marriage.

You can marry and decide to be childless if you have no money.

Adding my 2 cents:
When you eventually marry, Take birth control more serious than love [You can read it again]. If you earn less than 500k whether as salary or biz project, limit your self to ONLY ONE CHILD. Society and Church that will keep cheering you will not come through when the bills start coming in. Your quality of life and your family will greatly depreciate (including untimely death) if you have 3 children and above with less than 500K income{That's even depending on your city of residence.

franchasng:
Well done madam.

Please continue with your message, it's a good message that every Nigerian bachelor must take serious.


Being someone that witness the two sides of life in Naija and off on constant basis, I can comfortably tell you that it's not easy for Nigerian men of today, all thanks to failed APC regime. That is why I keep criticizing Tinubu's government anytime I have a chance to say or write a word.


The number of people asking and begging for help to feed, to stay afloat, to pay rent, to pay school fees, etc is now at the rooftop level in Nigeria. Civil servants and presumed working class Nigerians are now like jobless people because their salaries cannot even sustain them for a week if they were to feed properly, cloth properly, house properly and live well. It's a sad situation in Nigeria now and reason every Nigerian irrespective of tribe must take 2027 Presidential election very serious as if he or she is contesting the election to ensure Tinubu is voted out at all cost because he failed woefully and still bragging in his failure without showing any sign of remorse which shows that he would do worst if he returns back for a second tenure.


I keep wondering how a bachelor in Nigeria today will have the courage to get married with the situation of Nigeria's economy.

Traveling interstate in Nigeria by road is now a suicide mission, something we use to take as fun driving from Lagos to East, stopping over at Benin and meeting with hundreds of other travelers, some travelers even catch girlfriends and boyfriends there, while those coming back to Lagos from East stopped at Ore with joy and travelers had fun, the only fear back then was armed robbers and it's only for those traveling at night, but today, interstate travelers now fear kidnappers more than armed robbers yet there is a President.


Nigeria's situation do make me feel so depressed sometimes when I think about it.


Please to all bachelors in Nigeria, please take the Op's advice very serious, don't rush into marriage if you don't have a good and stable income because you will regret your life and the marriage will be a nightmare. You are better off single than enter marriage today with unstable and insufficient income.

1st 6 months after child delivery is financial consuming. if you aren't loaded, u fit craze.

kwaso2:
Adding my 2 cents:
When you eventually marry, Take birth control more serious than love [You can read it again]. If you earn less than 500k whether as salary or biz project, limit your self to ONLY ONE CHILD. Society and Church that will keep cheering you will not come through when the bills start coming in. Your quality of life and your family will greatly depreciate (including untimely death) if you have 3 children and above with less than 500K income{That's even depending on your city of residence.

God bless your wisdom.

I don't even think 500k is enough to cater for a family of 3 in Nigeria now. Maybe when the only child of the family is below 5 years and probably still in kindagarten or attending government school, maybe it can work fine if not, I doubt 500k monthly will cater for a family of 3 to feed, cloth, school and live well.

Very beautiful writing dear Amarabae.

In fact even those that are divorced, separated, in failed marriages, abusive marriages etc.
Will look at the single once and ask them this stupid question WHY ARE YOU NOT YET MARRIED? OR WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

I purposely started avoiding my married best friend. She will complain how her husband gamble on all those sport bet sites, how irresponsible he is, how she made a huge mistake marrying him, That he deceived her into the marriage . After all this lamentations she will ask me when is my guy coming to see my parent for marriage

Dear married people,
We singles whether Guys or Ladies are not holding your destiny, live us alone and face your family.

NO ONE WAS BORN MARRIED You were once single before you got married, so when our own time come we will also get married too. Please learn how to mind your business.


Also dear franchasng
Say 500K won't be enough for family living in Lagos, Abuja, Port/harcourt (Always be specific). In Nigeria 99% don't earn up to 500K in a month in Nigeria. Also 95%-99% of Nigerians don't have up to 500K in their account currently (https://dailypost.ng/2026/02/05/95-of-nigerians-dont-have-n500000-in-their-bank-accounts-financial-analyst-aja/). This is not even a Tinubu thing. During Goodluck regime it was reported that 99% of Nigerians didn't have to 100K in their account

People are surviving very very well with less than 100K as their monthly salary in many states. Were I am currently for brief assignment If you visit a restaurant with 500 Naira you will eat to your satisfaction. Other things are little to moderately high but not food, Accommodation and Transportation. PEOPLE IN VERY LARGE CITIES ARE REALLY SUFFERING mostly Nigerians down South



May God help us

The truth is, sometimes it’s not about financial stability. Getting the right partner or someone you are compatible with is hard with this generation of ladies that are so entitled and see relationship which is the first stage of starting the journey to marriage as a means to an end

The forum is a mediocre platform populated with mediocre humans. No shock.

Seeplusplus:
How do things like this make front page?

If marriage was really good, people would be advised daily against going into it. Nigerians love having company in misery. Make una give unaselves sense small. Nothing and nobody will convince me to jump into marriage, especially seeing what married couples go through.

Every relationship to Nigerian girls is birthed on your ability to provide and that graduates into the marriage.

tonididdy:
Is marriage to Nigerian girls a joke to you?
Marriage na 30days?
Yoo need money to sustain staying married to a Nigerian girl especially the ones from poverty homes (you would think they'd be cheaper and understand how to manage, na they are even more expensive to maintain)
Every relationship to Nigerian girls is birthed on your ability to provide and that graduates into the marriage.
Once you start to do otherwise, you'll have two men in the home.

Please do not give advice you do not know Jack about

As for me I will not give room for family,sociatal and peers group influence me I will take a step at a time.

DickenClarq:
Very beautiful writing dear Amarabae.

In fact even those that are divorced, separated, in failed marriages, abusive marriages etc.
Will look at the single once and ask them this stupid question WHY ARE YOU NOT YET MARRIED? OR WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

I purposely started avoiding my married best friend. She will complain how her husband gamble on all those sport bet sites, how irresponsible he is, how she made a huge mistake marrying him, That he deceived her into the marriage . After all this lamentations she will ask me when is my guy coming to see my parent for marriage

Dear married people,
We singles whether Guys or Ladies are not holding your destiny, live us alone and face your family.

NO ONE WAS BORN MARRIED You were once single before you got married, so when our own time come we will also get married too. Please learn how to mind your business.


Also dear franchasng
Say 500K won't be enough for family living in Lagos, Abuja, Port/harcourt (Always be specific). In Nigeria 99% don't earn up to 500K in a month in Nigeria. Also 95%-99% of Nigerians don't have up to 500K in their account currently (https://dailypost.ng/2026/02/05/95-of-nigerians-dont-have-n500000-in-their-bank-accounts-financial-analyst-aja/). This is not even a Tinubu thing. During Goodluck regime it was reported that 99% of Nigerians didn't have to 100K in their account

People are surviving very very well with less than 100K as their monthly salary in many states. Were I am currently for brief assignment If you visit a restaurant with 500 Naira you will eat to your satisfaction. Other things are little to moderately high but not food, Accommodation and Transportation. PEOPLE IN VERY LARGE CITIES ARE REALLY SUFFERING mostly Nigerians down South



May God help us

It is well.


Yes I understand most Nigerians don't earn up to 500k and that is why most of them depend on informal begging of friends, relatives, Church brethren and even neighbors they feel are doing better, thereby putting those ones on financial overdrive.


Many Nigerians depend on their family members (siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, etc), friends and church brethren for survival, that's why it seems like their less than 500k or 200k or 100k monthly salary or income is enough, it's not in reality except for those living in rural areas and less developed towns like you said who combine whatever they do with subsistence or peasant farming.



May God continue to show Nigerians mercy so they can have a better leader come 2027 because Tinubu is not it at all no matter what anybody thinks or says, he can't be compared to Jonathan, you cannot compare Jonathan regime with Tinubu's regime, doing that will be outright wickedness and insensitivity

Gotocourt:
You should not take the risk of entering into marriage with a meagre source of income and be hoping on the lady you want to marry to support.

I just came back from a trip, all my relatives are pressuring me to get married 🙃.

Thanks ma'am.

you dey straf?

Judolisco:
Thank God I'm 29 years not 30

your mate don born four, dey there