₦airaland Forum

There’s something I’ve been thinking about seriously, and I feel I need to handle it carefully.

I have a girl I’m currently dating who has been staying with me. I had actually told her that she should go and come rather than make my place her permanent home.

Earlier this year, when her rent was due, she asked if she could move her things to my place. I said no at the time because I already knew that situations like this could eventually arise. Instead, I decided to assist her with part of her rent. The interesting thing is that the room is still available and currently has no occupant.

However, now that she is staying with me, whenever I bring up the issue of her going back to her place, she tends to avoid the discussion. Honestly, I’m getting tired of the situation, and at this stage, I feel confused about how best to handle it.

I have deliberately avoided using force or speaking harshly to her because I do not want to hurt or disrespect her. A friend even advised me to use force since she has been unwilling to leave, but I do not believe that is the right approach. I would rather handle the matter calmly and respectfully.

I have also tried to explain to her that asking her to return to her place does not mean that I am avoiding her or ending the relationship. I even suggested that she could come and stay with me at least three times a week, so that we could still spend time together while maintaining separate homes. My intention is to create some healthy space, not to reject her or make her feel unwanted.

At this stage of my life, I feel I need to be very intentional about marriage and the woman I eventually settle down with. I don’t want circumstances, convenience, or the fact that someone is already living with me to pressure me into settling for a relationship I’m not completely sure about.

The situation has also affected other potential relationships I was considering before now, and some of them have ended because of her presence in my life.

I care about her, but I also feel that I need some space and clarity to properly evaluate the relationship and decide whether she is genuinely the person I want to build my future with. I don’t think it is right for me to simply continue with the current arrangement because it has become convenient or difficult to change. At the same time, I want to resolve the situation peacefully, without force, insults, or unnecessary conflict.Those who had been in similar situation please how did you handle it?

Guy this thing has happened before. You are going to get her pregnant.
Then you guys will live happily ever after.

This I have seen.

Lastly that thing you're trying to achieve in life you won't achieve it since you'll be looking after a baby. And baby needs to eat.

malcom1X:
Guy this thing has happened before. You are going to get her pregnant.
Then you guys will live happily ever after.

This I have seen.

Lastly that thing you're trying to achieve in life you won't achieve it since you'll be looking after a baby. And baby needs to eat.

My fear exactly, I think she’s intentionally staying in order for that to happen. I pray it doesn’t happen that way.

There was no boundaries from the beginning how long she stays when visiting!!!!!!!!

Setting boundaries now implies two things to her, you want space for other women and tired of her in your life as a prospective wife.

This your girlfriend already consider herself as your wife, just waiting to get pregnant and ask you to pay her bride price.


You must act with clarity and conviction of your life purpose not her expectations and hope for the relationship but yours as a man.

You guys are dating not married, no woman has the right to determine the future a man cos you guys are in relationship.

You need space for your productivity and clarity and that’s not negotiable for your peace.

Hold her hands, look straight into her eyes calmly and tell her she’s going to her place by month end and that’s not negotiable if truly she cares about you and the relationship.

Be the man your soul craves not the one she’s craving you to be.

He who wants equity must come with clean hands.

You dey opue her regularly?

Codevalley:
My fear exactly, I think she’s intentionally staying in order for that to happen. I pray it doesn’t happen that way.

U pray ??
Abi u should stop fornicating with her ??

If woman wan get belle for you… the only way to stop it is to not sleep with her….
because if u say u are smart by using condoms, she will fvck another guy and still pin the baby on you….
What they will ask is ….did u sleep with her or not?? U use condom na story for the gods

Why is it so hard for guys to hold their ground. You are just whining, you will come back to inform us when you impregnate her

Radarada oshi

Being very vulnerable and weak when dealing with women, especially the one you're in relationship is a very bad thing. It usually brings serious problems at some point because she tends to manipulate you into not having a say in the relationship.
OP you are a very weak man because your girl doesn't heed to your words and you always excuse her excesses. Always stand to your words, let your NO or YES be your final decision and don't give in easily to her demands cos the soft hands you use to follow her at the beginning of the relationship is now what she is abusing effortlessly.
The deeds has already be done and know you will have to pay the price for your ignorance and foolishness

She will derail your life, you will make a lot of wasteful sacrifices that could have been used to better your life, and it will end in wailing and gnashing of teeth. Belle dey load for you like this. Enjoy!

Codevalley:
There’s something I’ve been thinking about seriously, and I feel I need to handle it carefully.

I have a girl I’m currently dating who has been staying with me. I had actually told her that she should go and come rather than make my place her permanent home.

Earlier this year, when her rent was due, she asked if she could move her things to my place. I said no at the time because I already knew that situations like this could eventually arise. Instead, I decided to assist her with part of her rent. The interesting thing is that the room is still available and currently has no occupant.

However, now that she is staying with me, whenever I bring up the issue of her going back to her place, she tends to avoid the discussion. Honestly, I’m getting tired of the situation, and at this stage, I feel confused about how best to handle it.

I have deliberately avoided using force or speaking harshly to her because I do not want to hurt or disrespect her. A friend even advised me to use force since she has been unwilling to leave, but I do not believe that is the right approach. I would rather handle the matter calmly and respectfully.

I have also tried to explain to her that asking her to return to her place does not mean that I am avoiding her or ending the relationship. I even suggested that she could come and stay with me at least three times a week, so that we could still spend time together while maintaining separate homes. My intention is to create some healthy space, not to reject her or make her feel unwanted.

At this stage of my life, I feel I need to be very intentional about marriage and the woman I eventually settle down with. I don’t want circumstances, convenience, or the fact that someone is already living with me to pressure me into settling for a relationship I’m not completely sure about.

The situation has also affected other potential relationships I was considering before now, and some of them have ended because of her presence in my life.

I care about her, but I also feel that I need some space and clarity to properly evaluate the relationship and decide whether she is genuinely the person I want to build my future with. I don’t think it is right for me to simply continue with the current arrangement because it has become convenient or difficult to change. At the same time, I want to resolve the situation peacefully, without force, insults, or unnecessary conflict.Those who had been in similar situation please how did you handle it?

It's a trap...
Don't get trapped.
Else, you gonna learn the hard way.

Invite your female cousin or your mom over. She will run.

ManknowThyself:
There was no boundaries from the beginning how long she stays when visiting!!!!!!!!

Setting boundaries now implies two things to her, you want space for other women and tired of her in your life as a prospective wife.

This your girlfriend already consider herself as your wife, just waiting to get pregnant and ask you to pay her bride price.


You must act with clarity and conviction of your life purpose not her expectations and hope for the relationship but yours as a man.

You guys are dating not married, no woman has the right to determine the future a man cos you guys are in relationship.

You need space for your productivity and clarity and that’s not negotiable for your peace.

Hold her hands, look straight into her eyes calmly and tell her she’s going to her place by month end and that’s not negotiable if truly she cares about you and the relationship.

Be the man your soul craves not the one she’s craving you to be.

You are absolutely right man, thanks!

A lot of people have advised you to take charge of your life. This is from experience. Please heed to their advice and do not let the woman determine your future. Many have made this same mistakes and are a shadow of themselves.

You're a simp and your simping will soon put you in trouble if care is not taken. If anything happens to that girl in your house, you're finished. Be firm in telling her to leave.

Imagine how you framed your narration. Before a woman acts this way, omo, that relationship must have gone a long way. A lot of sacrifices, both sexually (probably abortion) and financially, would have been made.
We understand that a man will always want to defend his own, but oga, please stop saying you still love her. If your mission is to end the relationship, then do it peacefully and respectfully. Simple!
Before you make any move, if you owe her anything, please settle her in full. She deserves that much respect after everything she has invested in the relationship.

The next belle wey go enter go be pregnancy straight, be wise and cautious.
In fact, stop s*x with her.

Forget this your long gramnar! You are saying this because she allowed you enjoyed and saw everything that made her a woman, now you are tired. Nothing to lose as you didn't pay the normal price of having a woman live with you. AKA free Kpekus.

Women should learn from this, if a guy is not serious about your relationship don't throw all your body at him. Except if you are working class lady, so that any day he comes with these excuses simply pack your things and go concentrate on your job and you can easily avoercome it as your are not idle, and you would always have people coming around you because of your status.

op no deceive youself if you wan really marry and you no intend to marry her just tell her straight to her face

Codevalley:
There’s something I’ve been thinking about seriously, and I feel I need to handle it carefully.

I have a girl I’m currently dating who has been staying with me. I had actually told her that she should go and come rather than make my place her permanent home.

Earlier this year, when her rent was due, she asked if she could move her things to my place. I said no at the time because I already knew that situations like this could eventually arise. Instead, I decided to assist her with part of her rent. The interesting thing is that the room is still available and currently has no occupant.

However, now that she is staying with me, whenever I bring up the issue of her going back to her place, she tends to avoid the discussion. Honestly, I’m getting tired of the situation, and at this stage, I feel confused about how best to handle it.

I have deliberately avoided using force or speaking harshly to her because I do not want to hurt or disrespect her. A friend even advised me to use force since she has been unwilling to leave, but I do not believe that is the right approach. I would rather handle the matter calmly and respectfully.

I have also tried to explain to her that asking her to return to her place does not mean that I am avoiding her or ending the relationship. I even suggested that she could come and stay with me at least three times a week, so that we could still spend time together while maintaining separate homes. My intention is to create some healthy space, not to reject her or make her feel unwanted.

At this stage of my life, I feel I need to be very intentional about marriage and the woman I eventually settle down with. I don’t want circumstances, convenience, or the fact that someone is already living with me to pressure me into settling for a relationship I’m not completely sure about.

The situation has also affected other potential relationships I was considering before now, and some of them have ended because of her presence in my life.

I care about her, but I also feel that I need some space and clarity to properly evaluate the relationship and decide whether she is genuinely the person I want to build my future with. I don’t think it is right for me to simply continue with the current arrangement because it has become convenient or difficult to change. At the same time, I want to resolve the situation peacefully, without force, insults, or unnecessary conflict.Those who had been in similar situation please how did you handle it?

OP. I have been there before and I can imagine how annoying it is right now especially for guys like us who likes our privacy so much.

Women love Free things alot, free food, clothes, free provision etc, they're already to stay with you for as long as that free thing keeps coming. That's the only reason they get married.

Dude, send that girl out by force or violence. Using gentleman approach will never work and the more you use your gentleman method on her, the more she'll never take you serious and will remain there.

Why pay part of her rent in the first place? Una dey try shaa.

I get bored of a girl after she sleeps over at my place and I expect her gone the following morning. Use Force and send that girl out to regain your mental health and sanity back

malcom1X:
Guy this thing has happened before. You are going to get her pregnant.
Then you guys will live happily ever after.

This I have seen.

Lastly that thing you're trying to achieve in life you won't achieve it since you'll be looking after a baby. And baby needs to eat.

Very simple, let her start paying bills. In fact, stop every financial responsibility in the house and watch her.

Nonsense! You want her go and come, yet you call her ya "girlfriend" if ya not ready for "girlfriend" ship don't start one.


All dis fake stories.

Crazy life. The question is thus; if you actually love her as you claim, are you a Christian? Is she submissive to you ? These are valid ground for marriage, Bro, the grass is not always greener, you'll think there's a better offer out there, I promise you, it's not always what it seems , make up your mind, break up the relationship so there's nothing holding you both together or put up with her and get married already, sexual immorality even though we indulge in it is not good. May God have Mercy on Us.

Codevalley:
My fear exactly, I think she’s intentionally staying in order for that to happen. I pray it doesn’t happen that way.

see prayer 🙄🙄 n u think God will answer that...

Jetland:
Very simple, let her start paying bills. In fact, stop every financial responsibility in the house and watch her.

Lol. She'll never do that. For as long as it is the op's house, he'll pay and provide everything 💯.

It's like you don't know women. Women love Free things alot. They only show up and stay in a place where they are benefiting something from

Codevalley:
My fear exactly, I think she’s intentionally staying in order for that to happen. I pray it doesn’t happen that way.

Discharge her before she takes in .

Tell her you've lost your job or bad source of income.

After you don dock her so teh and you don tire, now you need clarity to properly evaluate the relationship and decide whether she is genuinely the person you want to build your future with?

Guy, thunder wey go strike you dey do press up. But then, I no blame you, na d idiot wey no respect her body I blame.

I don't know what the op is afraid here.....since she have been staying alone b4 that definitely means she alone have been footing are bills , which means she's working n getting paid too..... Isn't that a blessing to both of them if they stay under one roof?...,because from here they both can merge their earning together n build from here ... except op is hiding something otherwise I don't see any problem here as long as she's working n getting paid.

Lol... You know one thing the posts in this thread shows? Men do not shy away from calling out your bullshit as a man when you're being a weak man.

They will advise and support you o, but after making sure you see that you're acting foolishly.

Men rock.

ispreloaded:
I don't know what the op is afraid here.....since she have been since alone b4 that definitely means she alone have been footing are bills , which means she's working n getting paid too..... Isn't that a blessing to both of them if they stay under one roof?...,because from here they both can merge their earning together n build from here ... except op is hiding something otherwise I don't see any problem here as long as she's working n getting paid.

I don't think she's OP's spec for a wife. Also, maybe the girl is not lifting her own weight in the house - only sex - maybe she doesn't provide support with any of the living expenses, like food, or that her presence in the house is costing OP much more.

Also, sex don tire OP. He wants more na why he's exploring other "relationships".

What is our business? Did you inform us when you guys start the relationship?