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Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? (4514 Views)

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Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Dpsychologist(op): 10:39am On Oct 26
DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS REALLY WORK?

I know people who are genuinely committed to their long distance partners, but I also know how easily one person can be faithful while the other is secretly entertaining someone who lives nearby. Sometimes both partners are cheating. In other cases, one person has simply lost interest but is afraid to end the relationship.

However, not all long distance relationships are the same. I think there are three major types, and each comes with its own reality.

1. THE SEPARATED LOVERS

These are couples who met, dated and built a relationship before circumstances separated them. One partner gets posted for NYSC, secures a job in another state, travels abroad or relocates for further studies.

They already have shared experiences and a foundation to build on. Their challenge is maintaining emotional intimacy while living separate lives. With time, new friends, work schedules, financial constraints and reduced physical contact can change the relationship. The question is whether they can remain committed while growing in different environments.

2. THE RECONNECTED LOVERS

These are people who met briefly, attended the same school or knew each other casually before reconnecting online and eventually starting a relationship.

They may have seen each other physically, but they have not necessarily spent enough time together to understand each other's character, habits and expectations. They can develop strong feelings through daily conversations without knowing how the other person behaves during conflict, financial difficulties or other real life challenges.

3. THE VIRTUAL LOVERS

These are people who meet online and start dating without ever meeting physically.

They may talk for months, exchange pictures, make promises and even discuss marriage. Yet important things may remain unverified. Is the person genuinely single? Are their intentions sincere? Do their actions match the identity they present online?

Some virtual relationships lead to successful marriages, but others collapse when the partners finally meet and discover that the person they imagined is different from the person in reality.

THE NIGERIAN REALITY

NYSC, unemployment, job opportunities, relocation and the search for a better life can separate couples who genuinely want to be together. Transport fares, demanding jobs and family responsibilities can also make regular visits difficult.

Meanwhile, social media makes it possible to maintain a relationship across states or countries, but it also makes it easier to entertain other romantic options without a partner knowing.

Someone may genuinely be too busy or financially constrained to visit. Someone else may use the same excuses while making time for another person. The challenge is learning to distinguish genuine circumstances from repeated neglect.

Distance does not automatically cause cheating, and physical closeness does not guarantee faithfulness. The real issues are trust, compatibility, communication, commitment and whether both people are working towards the same future.
MY QUESTIONS:

1. Which of these three types do you think has the best chance of surviving, and why?

2. Can you genuinely trust someone you see only a few times a year?

3. Would you date someone you have never met physically, or do you consider that too risky?

4. If a couple has been in a long distance relationship for years but has no realistic plan to live in the same place, should they keep waiting?

Finally, is long distance the real problem, or does it simply reveal how committed two people were from the beginning?
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Jennyclay(f): 11:14am On Oct 26
Somedays it feels like it’s working, somedays it feels like it’s a disaster & so lonely, and somedays are just flat, no single feelings despite giving 100% communication undecided

I don’t enjoy long distance relationship, anywhere you go, you must carry me along undecided
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by yarimo(m): 11:18am On Oct 26
Long distance relationship is an avenue for two people to fool themselves codedly
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Bigsin(m): 11:19am On Oct 26
Jennyclay:
Somedays it feels like it’s working, somedays it feels like it’s a disaster & so lonely, and somedays are just flat, no single feelings despite giving 100% communication undecided

I don’t enjoy long distance relationship, anywhere you go, you must carry me along undecided
Aiit, Ms handbag. Wanna go to France? wink
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by itzadorable333:
Jennyclay:
Somedays it feels like it’s working, somedays it feels like it’s a disaster & so lonely, and somedays are just flat, no single feelings despite giving 100% communication undecided

I don’t enjoy long distance relationship, anywhere you go, you must carry me along undecided
Hehehe to avoid stories that touch?
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by OlaOfLagos(m): 12:56pm On Oct 26
Well detailed explanation as a matter of fact, I learnt one or two from this thread 👏

But the answer to your questions still remains “NO” long distance relationship na f00ling not even in this modern day society where the dating pool is messed up.

Even the once that are close and see everyday we still find it difficult to trust them everybody eyes don open
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by ebubeson: 4:16pm On Oct 26
Long distance relationship
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by njokuuche77(m): 4:17pm On Oct 26
It worked for me and led to marriage. Now 7 years plus in marriage 😁
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Calibrator: 4:18pm On Oct 26
As long as the four of you are working in tandem.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by zuby4real10(m): 4:18pm On Oct 26
Long distance relationship can never favour man cos he will end up sending money without any benefit.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by flexxyworld(m): 4:21pm On Oct 26
Long distance or short distance. It about the individual in the relationship. Intentionally communicate more when you guys ain’t seeing, plan to see often and depends on what both are looking for in the relationship. So it’s about the intention of those in the relationship. The distance doesn’t always matter
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Gotocourt: 4:22pm On Oct 26
If it's a rich and promising career grin.

My O B A N J E gf just told me we should get married during a steamy session shocked.

Fear catch me, very rebellious human lipsrsealed
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by ZaddyJ: 4:22pm On Oct 26
Dpsychologist:
MY QUESTIONS:

1. Which of these three types do you think has the best chance of surviving, and why?

2. Can you genuinely trust someone you see only a few times a year?

3. Would you date someone you have never met physically, or do you consider that too risky?

4. If a couple has been in a long distance relationship for years but has no realistic plan to live in the same place, should they keep waiting?

Finally, is long distance the real problem, or does it simply reveal how committed two people were from the beginning?


Cc nlfpmod seun dominique, Mariangeles, Onegai, farano, Rocktation
I was a product of LDR , it worked for me till I moved to the USA with her now we re family of four ( God recently blessed us with twins) so yes LDR works for me.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by MrSly(m): 4:23pm On Oct 26
Dpsychologist:
MY QUESTIONS:

1. Which of these three types do you think has the best chance of surviving, and why?

2. Can you genuinely trust someone you see only a few times a year?

3. Would you date someone you have never met physically, or do you consider that too risky?

4. If a couple has been in a long distance relationship for years but has no realistic plan to live in the same place, should they keep waiting?

Finally, is long distance the real problem, or does it simply reveal how committed two people were from the beginning?


Cc nlfpmod seun dominique, Mariangeles, Onegai, farano, Rocktation
Oha corpee is like they don gist you about what transpired while you were serving your patria. Kpele.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by schoolboymatt(m): 4:24pm On Oct 26
It works if you can turn a blind eye to shawty shagging another shaft


peace ✌️


I did a long distant once...lasted 3 years.

no be small thing o.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by ZaddyJ: 4:24pm On Oct 26
zuby4real10:
Long distance relationship can never favour man cos he will end up sending money without any benefit.
Not all men my as the case was a reverse for me.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by fergie001: 4:28pm On Oct 26
Long-distance?

Your eye go peel!

In my next life, I no advice my enemy do am/
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Maj196(m): 4:29pm On Oct 26
It works but the two must be willing to put in a lot of work
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Stephen0mozzy:
It depends on your partner.

If your reason for saying NO is only because your partner may be jumping from dike to dike or skirt to skirt, just know that your partner can still cheat even if you're both staying in the same passage house.

Just find a girl that has SELF-WORTH, is independent and doesn't live competition lifestyle that's beyond her means.

Just find a guy that his brain is NOT only activated by nutting every 2 days.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by omooba969(m): 4:35pm On Oct 26
Don't try it, it is emotionally draining, financially draining and exhausting.

Nothing as good as when your lover is within reach. kiss
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by FX(m): 4:37pm On Oct 26
It is the best. I go lie for you
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by geladinho1(m): 4:38pm On Oct 26
If you are loaded and you have strong 💪 mind and heart ❤ it will work
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by FX(m): 4:38pm On Oct 26
That's what will finally kill you. Long distance relationships gives peace of mind. If you know you know. Nobody go see you finish
omooba969:
Don't try it, it is emotionally draining, financially draining and exhausting.

Nothing as good as when your lover is within reach. kiss
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by SmartMaster001: 4:44pm On Oct 26
It works now. It's not everyone you are in a relationship with that will be within your reach. And that scarcity creates more attraction than seeing each others everytime.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by jobytravels: 4:50pm On Oct 26
I have a Book that was written by Victory Wass called Relationship Reset Limbo
Very interesting
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by AcadaWriter0: 4:55pm On Oct 26
Don’s a good night and let’s see if it still works! 😉 AcadaWriter
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by OnyeObowo1: 4:56pm On Oct 26
Maj196:
It works but the two must be willing to put in a lot of work
And that relationship must not exceed 3months... It have to be very short before marriage...
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by Iweakbro: 5:01pm On Oct 26
5 years plus. With a kid. Sighs!
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by itzadorable333: 5:06pm On Oct 26
Dpsychologist:
MY QUESTIONS:

1. Which of these three types do you think has the best chance of surviving, and why?

2. Can you genuinely trust someone you see only a few times a year?

3. Would you date someone you have never met physically, or do you consider that too risky?

4. If a couple has been in a long distance relationship for years but has no realistic plan to live in the same place, should they keep waiting?

Finally, is long distance the real problem, or does it simply reveal how committed two people were from the beginning?


Cc nlfpmod seun dominique, Mariangeles, Onegai, farano, Rocktation
LDR is more successful among introverts, loners, shysters, romantics and the soulful.
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by cr7lomo: 5:08pm On Oct 26
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Re: Do Long Distance Relationships Really Work? by omooba969(m): 5:15pm On Oct 26
FX:
That's what will finally kill you. Long distance relationships gives peace of mind. If you know you know. Nobody go see you finish
We call it long distance bcoz we have to adjectivalise it, but in actual sense it is not a relationship in the real sense of it.

How LDR gives you peace of mind is subject to interpretation and makes your intentions questionable. I'd thought people who are truly in love would do everything to share the same space.
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