Venchy:

OMG....why are we full of jealousy and envy, this poor guy is only asking for people's opnion and doesn't deserve to be slargeg off.

This is exactly the reaction of Nigerian Police that's suffering from chronic hunger, telling me this not Ameria, what an ass.

My broday from another mother, the truth is that NIGERIA is a lovely country but presently insane because of our Useless Leaders.

Please keep juggling both side as you are privileged to do so for my obvious reasons.

(1) No Medical facilities in Nigeria as you can see, our leaders are always flying abroad for treatment but MANDELA never stepped out of SA....fact, (2) your children can go to park for recreation which there's none in Lagos other than their SHOPRITE or whatever it's called (3) No Electricity, (4) Nigerian roads are DEATH TRAP and to summarise it all 10% of Nigerians are to be trusted and the rest are Crooks, haven't said that, you might be selling drugs cos because majoriy of us are on the fast lane.

Every nation have their own issues but Nigeria seems to be getting worse and it's very sad.

Money is nothing but health is Key to everything which SA will offer.

Appendicitis killed my friends Mum in 2008 when I visited Nigeria, took time to visit her at GBAGADA GENERAL HOPITAL where she was been treated and I can only stay for 5 min because the Ward looks like Makoko but I honestly don't know what it's like now.

playmode:

If you read his post and mine ,he mistakenly assumed that i get my kidnapping news from SA media and i was just pointing out to him that i got all the information from Nigerian media.I don't want people to have the impression that SA is poisoning Nigerians' minds against their own country because that will be unfair and untrue.People also need to realize why i initially started this thread so that they don't think my concern was fabricated.

claremont:
Like what?!

Your "home" is wherever you and your family can enjoy a comfortable existence without looking over your shoulders, it's not necessarily where you were born. If you and your family are comfortable in SA, then stay there.

Rossikk: Another diaspora goat. Anyone notice that the majority of people trying to scare the op are those who don't actually live in Nigeria themselves? Most haven't been back home in several YEARS yet they are offering 'advice' to the op. op please ignore them. They are trying to justify to themselves why they themselves are 'runaways'. They have no clue.

Rossikk: Where did this lying criminal sneak out of? There are parks in Lagos especially on the island, but frustrated criminals, rapi.sts, and drug dealers like you are barred fom such places. Can't be bothered with the rest of the exaggerated horse manure you posted.

euromilion:

Man so u kno ochinawata then am sure u knew Joseph they re from same place and sometimes togada in mimosa,is nwayi awka dead?.where is sabo and pope?do u remember alaowerri dat u guys killed?

I stayed in safari hotel.wat was ur name?do u kno konukos and osuofia?

Rimbaldi:

Like I said earlier, there is no need debating this issue. I am beginning to think that you opened this thread for some other reason. IF NOT, WHY DONT YOU CLOSE THE THREAD AND COME BACK HOME ON SHORT VISITS AND SEE THINGS FOR YOUR SELF? AFTER ALL YOU HAVE HEARD DIFFERENT SIDES TO THE STORY OR ARE YOU A LEARNER? Aannh! Aaaanh! You sef?

Rimbaldi:

The reason why so many diasporans spend donkey years running Naija down with their mouths only to come back and ...oh! A lot of their peers are actually doing well for themselves. They make it sound like Naija is the only place crime and scams exist. The only difference is other nationalities will not run down their nations in ur presence, no matter how bad the situation is. Bad as e bad,

filipinnos are moving in,
Lebanese are too
so also are Americans and brits
SAfricans too
And with the whole Africom thing, the French and US numbers will increase.
Indians and Chinese will own Nigeria by the time the op brings himself to a decision.
And the influx of foreigners keeps increasing since ur govt is begging them for so called DFI(direct foreign investment).
Meanwhile by the time the op discovers that he doesn't really have Nigerian kids, he would have grown old. SA WIVES WILL NEVER COME HOME PERMANENTLY WITH YOU. E NOR DEY HAPPEN BEFORE, NOR BE UR OWN CASE E GO USE START.

collins2good: i believe you are talking about another nigeria, because the one am staying right now, i do wake up everyday with bad news everyehere

collins2good: i believe you are talking about another nigeria, because the one am staying right now, i do wake up everyday with bad news everyehere

wesley80: @OP, Person wey no read your post well go think say you dey stay for Kensington Palace Gardens in London!
Any of these ring a bell? Marikana mine riots - 32 dead, Worse crime rate in the world, home of Soweto all stars, Rape more common than pure water sachet, ubiquitous male-nyash observers (homo thingz), Wetinnnnnnn no be South Africa again?
Truth SA is years ahead of Nigeria with great infrastructure and much different challenges but please please please dont regale us with tales of superb everything cos we know that just like our dear Naija, not everything is superb. Dont use your 504 to remind me my Fathers beetle is crap - no be person dey ride Ferarri? Bros abeg park well jare.

7842I:

MTN, STANDARD CHARTERED BANK, MULTICHOICE-DSTV, SHOPRITE AND GAME are all operating in Nigeria and are doing well, can anybody tell me what they have in common?

playmode:

Many of what you have said is true but please understand that it is only true depening on your circumstance.Allow me to address your comment analytically :

1. it is always difficult, in fact almost impossible for a Xhosa/Zulu/Afikans(coloured)woman to follow you to nigeria with her kids to stay permanently.

This is not entirely true because it depends on the caliber of woman you marry. You will agree with me that some of our brothers marry prostitutes from hotels like Safari Hotel and expect her to behave decently.
This is where they go wrong,how can you marry a woman who people pay for sex them expect her to be faithful to you? Most of these women who usually make bad wives are Xhosa, only a few are zulu and coloured.

I actually met my wife in swaziland,she was a manager at an IT firm there which I went to solicit a contract from and that is how we started dating. Within 6 months she applied for a job in SA and relocated to SA to be with me. My wife does not have any friend here in SA only business acquaintances because we are very private people. The only friend she has is me. Moreover she is educated, well informed and very ambitious.

If you read one of my older post , you will see that I mentioned that she is the one who started pushing me that we should move back to Nigeria.

My family knows her as she communicates with them every week and even offer carreer advice to my siblings. What I am trying to establish here is that many of our brothers just pick desperate uneducated babes on the street and marry them for papers. That is where they get in to trouble. If they had married an educated, independent woman who is loving and has the fear of GOD they won’t have problem.

My wife has no problem moving to Nigeria ,she knows the customs and culture already. All she wants is some clarity on the security of her family in Nigeria. At the end of the day her family can not stop her from coming to Nigeria. She is a grown woman and is only heeding their advice at the moment out of respect.

2. southafrica has a law that empowers women more and children belongs to their mother in case of separation.

The law does not work like that. There are situations where the court will give full custody to the father.

It all depends on why you are splitting. If you are splitting because you can not work out your difference but will still continue to live in the same compound 1.e your wife stays in the house and the man stay in the boys quarters ,the court will award you joint custody and the terms will be worked out by your lawyers before the judge pronounces finals judgement. This means you and your child we get to spend time with your kids separately.

In the even that one of the parent posses a threat to the well being of the children the court will allow full custody to the other parent.

In the event that you the man is found to have cheated on your wife and caused her emotional pain ,the court will award full custody to your wife and give you visitation rights. You will not be allowed to reside on the same property with.

Like i said it all depends on the situation that leads to the separation. The main reason some Nigerians lose custody of their kids is because they are not conversant with the marital laws of South Africa. This law is the same as everywhere in the civilized and it ensures that woman and men are protected from spousal abuse.

3. the moment you tell your southy wife about relocating to nigeria, she would involve her family and their response is always negative.

I also have to disagree with this brother, not all SA in laws are bad.MY inlaws are very nice people. They even support super eagles during the Afcon cup. SA in laws do not expect much from you other than for you to take good care of their daughter.

Surely if you have a daughter and she tells you she wants to visit sudan, what will be your reaction? Parents are naturally protective of their children so it will be unfair for to hastily judge them.If you tell an SA that you are taking their daughter to USA ,they will not complain.

It is all about perception, Nigeria unfortunately has a not too pleasant image so many people outside are misinformed. Nollywood also worsens the silly exaggerated witchcraft and rituals movies they make. I don’t how many South Africa a week who ask me if juju is used so often by wicked people in Nigeria.

At the end of the we Nigerians do more harm than good in the way we behave overseas ,the movies we make and the news that emanates from Nigeria daily.My in laws never objected to my wife going to Nigeria ,they just want me to promise to look after like any in law will do.

4. more than 40% of dead-wealthy-nigerians were killed by their wife (directly or indirectly) and it must has to do with relocating or dragging of children when you finally wants to go home.
i could go on and on and on....


This maybe true and i have heard stories of such but can not confirm any of it.Again this boil down to the type of women they married.If you marry a decent woman ,chances of her doing is 0%.If their wives genuinely loved them ,they would not have done that.

5. many rich nigerians are in prison just because their wife set them up with the police so she can have all his money, the kids and property, the same wife who has been living with you and who knows all your secret. and once you finish serving your jail term you will be deported.

Now my question to you is this ,what secret were they keeping Pardon me but from your post it seems you are saying this Nigerian guys were criminals and their wives knew about their criminal activities. I hope that is not what you are saying because if it then i am shocked. I for one do not care for the Nigerians who are committing crimes in SA.I happen to be member of a community policing forums and have gotten quite a few criminals arrested through tips. These boys are damaging our reputation in SA and ruining people's lives with their endless crimes.

I have no secret as i am a law abiding registered tax payer in South Africa so there is no way anyone can set me up.Every penny i make is accounted for and properly documented. Even if they plant cocaine in my house or office i won't go to jail because my lawyers will prove beyond a doubt after providing the court with forensic data that I earn a honest living and was a victim of an attempted set up. I don't think you should use this line of argument because it will make it look like you are sympathizing with Nigerian criminals in SA.

7842I:

Seems like am one of the 15 guys you mentioned, I will never leave naija with the level of wealth I have ammassed here over the years. security problem my foot, na me dey control the vigilante in my suburb and streets, them no born the arm robber wey go try me well, na burning tyres and petrol go settle im case

991:

you certainly have not been anywhere near the repulic of south africa, otherwise you wouldn't dare compare the up-bringing of their children to ours here in nigeria.

playmode:
I actually met my wife in swaziland,she was a manager at an IT firm there which I went to solicit a contract from and that is how we started dating. Within 6 months she applied for a job in SA and relocated to SA to be with me. My wife does not have any friend here in SA only business acquaintances because we are very private people. The only friend she has is me. Moreover she is educated, well informed and very ambitious.

I am trying to establish here is that many of our brothers just pick desperate uneducated babes on the street and marry them for papers. That is where they get in to trouble. If they had married an educated, independent woman who is loving and has the fear of GOD they won’t have problem.

I have no secret as i am a law abiding registered tax payer in South Africa so there is no way anyone can set me up.Every penny i make is accounted for and properly documented. Even if they plant cocaine in my house or office i won't go to jail because my lawyers will prove beyond a doubt after providing the court with forensic data that I earn a honest living and was a victim of an attempted set up. I don't think you should use this line of argument because it will make it look like you are sympathizing with Nigerian criminals in SA.

991:

Hahahaa! what a small world, i know those guys mehn. i know the joseph from Enugu state, Sabo was arrested and deported back to nigeria, pope was in prison when i left, i don't know the whereabout of konukos,
Nwanyi Awka died of breast cancer, they took her to the US for treatment but the cancer reappeared and she died.
i remember the day I had problem with Mr. Alex the owner of Safari on lady's nite. crazy man.
my dear, life was sweet in joburg but nothing to compare with home here. you will be respected more here and opportunity for genuine business is more here.

Toluwarni: Common sense you dont have... F##k you and go and mop the atlantic ocean

noirfavour: The choice is your to make in the end but think about this:

1. Why did you leave Nigeria in the first place if it was home for you? People who sees Nigeria as home only visit abroad for one month maximum not stay there for 13 years.

2. You are in south africa and can always come back to visit if you misses it that much....

3. In those years there I'm sure you must have built for yourself a good life and have good family/friends there although nowhere is perfect.

4. The problems of Nigeria still remain the same; only depreciation are more poverty you will see.
*No light (I live in the center of Abuja and its still that bad), No security,

*Expensive internet for very poor connection; the most common leisure you get living abroad.
* Jobs are hard and for business connection is who knows who otherwise you will burn all your saving without being sure of returns (profit) personal experience. etc.

5.I will personal advice you not to come back because I made the mistake of returning to Nigeria 2 years believing it was home but I was so wrong; and right now I can't wait for the day I will pack my bags and leave, never return again.

6. But to make your decision easier; leave your family there for now, come visit and stay for 3-6 month and your decision process will be completed. You will either love it and enjoy it or you will see all the reasons why you left in the first place But don't be like me who made the decision based on the Idea of Nigeria I had in my head and all the advises I got from people.

Note: Home is where you want it to be not a place where you are born. Remember how hard it was to start a new life abroad if you come back that is how it feels. just like a foreign country with worst conditions.

playmode:



Please stop applying “Agbero” logic and comprehend the reason for the thread.Who are you to ask me to close the thread? If you don't have anything intelligent to offer then don't comment. I did request for mature adults to post, didn’t i?

Secondly please don't assume you know my wife ,this "educated illiterate" attitude of talking about people’s wives that you have never met before is one of the reason why Nigerians are perceived to be uncouth in some quarters. If your brain is overheating and you cannot contribute anything of substance, you can keep quiet and be a spectator. There are at least 30 topics on the front page ,why is this one itching you?

I am sure you have married every SA woman that you know that they will never come to Nigeria [b][i]Your post is just the ramblings of a short sighted intellectually challenged goof.[/[/i]b]Stick to the topic ,the next thing you will talking about is what color my wife's underwear is. Jeez, it is extremely hard to keep ones cool around regressive ramblers like you. No form of intelligence whatsoever. If this was an exam you would have failed.

991:

I understand you perfectly well, i was almost speechless the moment i read your wife is Swazi. I must confess that you are very lucky to have met your wife, Swazi people are the best, again kudos to you for living responsibly in SA because it is rare to find people like you.
Finally, i commend your RIGHT decision to come home and settle with your family, i also commend your daringness coming online to share and discuss it with fellow brothers and sisters, though not every comment is worth giving attention but that is online forum for you.
I wish you the best in your undertakings, please plan yourself well and invest wisely when you come, though am not always in nigeria due the nature of my biz but my family is here. we have good schools here for kids, when you settle down you can always visit SA with your family on holidays.
My regards to your wife and kids.

noirfavour: The choice is your to make in the end but think about this:

1. Why did you leave Nigeria in the first place if it was home for you? People who sees Nigeria as home only visit abroad for one month maximum not stay there for 13 years.

2. You are in south africa and can always come back to visit if you misses it that much....

3. In those years there I'm sure you must have built for yourself a good life and have good family/friends there although nowhere is perfect.

4. The problems of Nigeria still remain the same; only depreciation are more poverty you will see.
*No light (I live in the center of Abuja and its still that bad), No security,

*Expensive internet for very poor connection; the most common leisure you get living abroad.
* Jobs are hard and for business connection is who knows who otherwise you will burn all your saving without being sure of returns (profit) personal experience. etc.

5.I will personal advice you not to come back because I made the mistake of returning to Nigeria 2 years believing it was home but I was so wrong; and right now I can't wait for the day I will pack my bags and leave, never return again.

6. But to make your decision easier; leave your family there for now, come visit and stay for 3-6 month and your decision process will be completed. You will either love it and enjoy it or you will see all the reasons why you left in the first place But don't be like me who made the decision based on the Idea of Nigeria I had in my head and all the advises I got from people.

Note: Home is where you want it to be not a place where you are born. Remember how hard it was to start a new life abroad if you come back that is how it feels. just like a foreign country with worst conditions.

wesley80: @OP, Person wey no read your post well go think say you dey stay for Kensington Palace Gardens in London!
Any of these ring a bell? Marikana mine riots - 32 dead, Worse crime rate in the world, home of Soweto all stars, Rape more common than pure water sachet, ubiquitous male-nyash observers (homo thingz), Wetinnnnnnn no be South Africa again?
Truth SA is years ahead of Nigeria with great infrastructure and much different challenges but please please please dont regale us with tales of superb everything cos we know that just like our dear Naija, not everything is superb. Dont use your 504 to remind me my Fathers beetle is crap - no be person dey ride Ferarri? Bros abeg park well jare.

playmode:

Thank you bros ,your advice is worth more than money.




Thank you very much for your advice all ,it is much apprecaited.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

@The rest of the people who replied,i will like to offer my profound gratitude that you took time to share your wisdom with me.They say he who asks for direction never gets lost.

I am first and foremost a proud Nigerian who has genuine love and concern for my country.The truth is that no matter how successful you are abroad,you will always miss home.It just does not feel the same and you start to ache and dream about home.No amount of money or comfort can fix that ache hence why i have made some effort to move home.

Thanks to all your inputs i now have a clear understanding of what i need to do which will be as follow:

(A) Visit Nigeria for a month and survey the environment where i want to be based

(B) Go back to SA and hand over my businesses to capable managers.

(C) Relocate to Nigeria solo and reside in Nigeria for 6 months preparing school and other necessities for my family

(D) At the end of my solo research determine if my family can adapt to the Nigerians lifestyle

(F) Bring my family to Nigeria ,settle down and move on with life


Thank you all and GOD bless.

Rimbaldi:

It is usually best to relocate home alone at first till u get to know how things work here. Ur family can join u if u still want after 6 months to a year.This gives u time to acclimatize with the practices here and provide a soft landing for ur family. U have been away for long and u need a little time to learn about present day Nigeria. Is ur wife white or black? Sometimes the way the western media paints the picture, it makes it look like there's pandemonium here by the second. If south Africans and other nationals are queuing up at our embassies in droves despite the security challenges just to come make a living here, how much more u a son of the soil?

I no know book:



Help me tellam oo. It's after 3 am where he is, over here, it's just after 10 pm. So he should go sleep in his ignorance. It's not yet time for me over here, I'm still trolling.