Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him - Family (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 9:52pm On May 25, 2013 |
bellong: Just to clear your conscience to know his reasons! Maybe he has brain tumur, maybe he plans to pay next week, just maybe .....you can't know if you don't ask  |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Idowuogbo(f): 9:53pm On May 25, 2013 |
Vikin:Lmao! Kai! I like ya style o! As a woman, u can't have too many shoes.   |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Acidosis(m): 9:56pm On May 25, 2013 |
ayobase: hahaha... okay o... oga Drogba |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 9:59pm On May 25, 2013 |
ayobase: I totally disagree! There is a difference between "please borrow me some money" and "please dash me some money". If one borrows, the person should endeavour to pay, period! That my cup runneth over doesn't mean u should not repay the money u borrowed. However, if u borrow but can't repay at the said time, u should be civil and considerate enough to tell that person why u haven't been able to pay and when u can pay. Not to treat one like he/she is a fool and thinking u can get away with such act. Some human beings are just so dubious and heartless. They become angels when they want something from u and turn to monsters when its time to pay back. That was how I borrowed a friend a reasonable sum after she begged and begged like her life depended on it. Promised to pay back immediately she recieves her salary. Its been 3months now and I haven't heard from her. She neither picks my calls nor replies any of my SMSs. But I've promised myself and God that I MUST get my money back. I didn't sweat for someone to come cone me off a large sum. , if I were u, I would beg hubby to allow me confront the man. I'm not saying u should be rude, but just remind his dubious ass that he has some debt to pay and ask him when he's gonna pay. Heartless and annoying debtors. . . 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 10:02pm On May 25, 2013 |
Idowuogbo: Yeah, My uncle tried this same thing with me, i did like and didnt ask for the money, this my uncle called me after some months to demand for another,  . so i had to remind him about the one i gave him earlier. I told him I lent him that money, and when am ready I will come for it. The thing here is that he never ask money from me again.The truth here is that, until you solve the problem it will keep reoccurring. Maybe not to you, but to your next door neighbor |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Idowuogbo(f): 10:12pm On May 25, 2013 |
bettymafy:Lailai! Mr MayGodHelpusAll, shey u dey read? If u must confront ur debtor, do it yaself!!! Under no circumstance shud u give Mrs MayGodHelpusAll d permission to confront ya debtor. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by biolabee(m): 10:19pm On May 25, 2013 |
bellong: true.. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by greatgod2012(f): 10:22pm On May 25, 2013 |
Thanks to everyone who has taken out time to advise me, i really appreciate every posts/posters here, may God bless you all. I think i need to clarify some issues on this matter. Firstly, the money given to him wasnt hubby's money alone, it was our money, when hubby couldnt get all the amount the man requested for, he asked me to add more to make up to what the man requested for, afterall, we thought the money will be refunded after 3 days. We were together when hubby handed the money to him. That man claimed that ATMmachine swallwoed his card, so we thought he would actually refund the money after sorting it out with his bank on the said monday. Imagine the gravity of lie he told us in order to pity and assist him. @vikin, he never forget about the money, hes only trying to be smart and ungrateful, so said his wife, even, the wife claims we aint the only people he has done that to, he is even doing it to his wife sef, so said the wife. She even said the same thing her hubby did at where they were living before. Now, what im furious about is not really the non-repayment of the money, but the way he behaves/relates with us as if all is fine is what im angry about. He greets, plays and even ask for some things from us as if nothing is between us. For example, we just bought a car recently, and the man instited that we must "wash" the car for him separately, i was just wondering the kind of shameless man he is. The most annoying thing, according to the wife is that, she doesnt even know what her hubby is using all the borrowed money for, as shes the one who carry bulk of the family's financial responsibilities. I tire o. Once again, thank you all for your responses. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by slimyem: 10:24pm On May 25, 2013 |
,don't be surprised if you confront the man and he says he thought your husband gave him the money not lent.. At least,that was the kinda line someone used on a friend after months of owing him a large sum of money like say na so e easy to dash person money when you sef still dey struggle. The one a girlfriend did to me many years ago,I can never forget as she kept saying "babe,mi o gbagbe owo yen o" for sooo long that it made no sense to ask her for it anymore. But I don wise these days. The last person I lent money wanted to try it with me. It was long overdue and I so frustrated his life with asking for it and made him feel I couldn't care less where he gets the money from as long as I get paid. It strained our relationship but my money showed up which is the most important thing  For the sake of your husband and his insistence that you let it go,please let it but henceforth,know how to deal with such people.Too many Nigerians like that.They shouldn't be tolerated. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 10:27pm On May 25, 2013 |
Idowuogbo: I really donot care who does the confrontation. As long as that man is reminded to pay his debt. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Idowuogbo(f): 10:29pm On May 25, 2013 |
bettymafy:Issokay..  |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 10:39pm On May 25, 2013 |
Deleted |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by kidsam: 10:41pm On May 25, 2013 |
When your hubby tells you to leave something, please leave it. Why are women so troublesome, you think life is only about comfronting and confronting? Just leave it as your husband has spoken. 2 Likes |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by biolabee(m): 11:06pm On May 25, 2013 |
kidsam: When your hubby tells you to leave something, please leave it. Why are women so troublesome, you think life is only about comfronting and confronting? Just leave it as your husband has spoken. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Idowuogbo(f): 11:10pm On May 25, 2013 |
kidsam: When your hubby tells you to leave something, please leave it. Why are women so troublesome, you think life is only about comfronting and confronting? Just leave it as your husband has spoken.E seun!  |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by ayobase(m): 11:15pm On May 25, 2013 |
bettymafy: The money is hers also, there is nothing wrong if she asks........we should just try learn to live beyond some USUAL and NORMAL measures and protocols! Maybe I gave mine piece as far as Ayobase is concerned.....believe me, you are gonna live longer when you stop disturbing yourself over money matters! When someone owes you, and he/she wouldn't talk about it, then take it as seed sowing or SADAKA! If the person comes next time, give if you have....it doesn't make you a fool.....just that he/she aint seeing as u are! ITS NOT WEAKNESS OR CARELESSNESS! Its still not an issue when you BLATANTLY ask for your hard earned money though! The clause, "he thinks he is smart" is the cause of most unforgiveness and revenge! 1 Like |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by ayobase(m): 11:30pm On May 25, 2013 |
slimyem: ...... The last person I lent money wanted to try it with me. It was long overdue and I so frustrated his life with asking for it and made him feel I couldn't care less where he gets the money from as long as I get paid. It strained our relationship but my money showed up which is the most important thing It strained your relationship of course, and you prefer it that way.....yoruba proverb I always try to eschew "Owo lo n ba oju ore je" I have taken it upon myself to making sure I avoid FINANCIAL crisis with family and friend....I rather let it go......IT GIVES ONE RESPECT! Doing and achieving this, I don't give out money I can't forget about.....and you should know that there are some people you shouldn't even lend money, rather give them to avoid clash! E kuke better make u say u no get than later being at loggerheads! 1 Like |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Idowuogbo(f): 11:32pm On May 25, 2013 |
^hmmmm....... Omode agba! I like. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by ayobase(m): 11:53pm On May 25, 2013 |
greatgod2012: Thanks to everyone who has taken out time to advise me, i really appreciate every posts/posters here, may God bless you all. I perfectly understood your pains! It reminds me of partial stranger I helped paid his school fees via a close friend (like an uncle), plus the fact that we did attend the same church. Gave him the money and took his gen as collateral. After like 4 months, I decided to buy the gen off from him cos he was finanacially down. He bought the gen at the rate of 35K, but I decided to just buy at 30K. And not that I can't get a better and new gen at that same rate, but to help. LOL, he eventually said he can't sell at that rate, so he decided to go sell the gen and to come give me my balance after being sold. He sold the gen as confessed, and at the same amount I wanted buying, but I never hear Bros how far up to this time I dey type this! People could be funny Sister, we should just always pray for God's blessing....you suppose make your husband see reasons why to let go EVEN if he wanna get back the money by force.....that u can't confront doent mean u can't persuade. Na only 3K entered my account since I left my DJ inst with someone I trusted.....if na to do the arithmetic, I should have gone there to pack my insts. But I'm a man of principle.....I go give u long rope until u "te". By then you wouldn't be able to blame or be angry at me for any step I would be taking! 1 Like |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 1:52am On May 26, 2013 |
The only reason why I wouldn't support asking in this case is because hubby asked her to let it go. But seriously, there's no harm in asking. It's your money for God's sake and anything that makes you to see your neighbour and feel like slapping him is not even cool for your health as a human being. Madam, since your husband has asked you to let it go, find a way in your heart to release the money. If you eventually ask and he gets to know about it, he might not like it. Even if the money comes out, he go still dey form 'shebi i told you not to ask' kinda thing, meanwhile, secretly, he's happy the money came out oo.  Another part of it that I would want you to consider however is that as a Christian, I've stumbled on some of your posts where you said you are a Christian, any grudge whatsoever against your neighbour is a sin. Simply put, if you get angry or furious or sad on the sight of your neighbour, something is wrong somewhere. If you can't seem to let it off your mind, maybe it's time to call him and ask! Hubby should understand that women are not good at letting things (most especially, money) go just like that. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 2:03am On May 26, 2013 |
had a similar incidence like yours too, a friend [older friend ']called me last year October that he needed money for his wife's cesarean operation, that I should lend him 20000,I gave him 10000 out of it, funniest thing was that it was I who went all the way to give him in his house. since then, he never made mention of the money, as if nothing ever happened between us, and I have never asked him. some people are just wicked, due to the nature of my job, I know he's coming back to source help from me someday . am waiting patiently for that day. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by SpicyMimi(f): 2:10am On May 26, 2013 |
Hubby borrowed him nd hubby says 'let it go' just obey him as that is d most important thing here. I wonder why u r asking 4 our opinions in d first place, na we marry u? So u'd rather prefer to obey us nd disobey U̶̲̥̅̊я hubby  Please learn not to bring up family issues here, pple here are humans like u nd most will never bring their problems here bt very good at fueling other pple's problems! Listen to U̶̲̥̅̊я hubby nd dats final. 1 Like |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by SpicyMimi(f): 2:13am On May 26, 2013 |
Idowuogbo:Idowu u dey alwys make sense jawe, even tho u get cray small  1 Like |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 6:53am On May 26, 2013 |
Your husband said don't worry so shut up and don't worry |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by biolabee(m): 7:01am On May 26, 2013 |
ayobase i love ur comments |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by ayobase(m): 7:14am On May 26, 2013 |
biolabee: ayobase i love ur comments Thanks brother! Gud-am! |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by dandollaz: 7:17am On May 26, 2013 |
My sis is better you confront him gentlely and have peace of mind.u n ur hubby has a good heart.but on the side of it he might think that his charms are working while fooling himself. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Nobody: 7:28am On May 26, 2013 |
From d posts I've bn reading here so far,I can say dat men like to swallow shit cos they want to show d world dey r men!incredible! My hard sweat? I will leave it under one condition;hubby will give me back my own and case will be closed.he can then continue with his father xmas bonanza! Of course most men will tell u leave it and d wives will second. That is d one u r aware of.what of those u don't know? Ex,colleques, acquintances,etc That is how family income go down d drain! Money is hard to get and easy to throw away. I will definitely confront him with fire coming out from my eyes! He must pay.what arrant nonsense is that? It is called borrowing no matter how small! Mcheeeew for good wife! Later,if hubby is annoyed(can't even c d reason why)I will become d good wife again.is he not my husband?but first I gat to treat d dat fuckup. 1 Like |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by biolabee(m): 8:04am On May 26, 2013 |
carry go... lady Thatcher!!! yellowpawpaw: From d posts I've bn reading here so far,I can say dat men like to swallow shit cos they want to show d world dey r men!incredible! |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by StateOfMind: 9:04am On May 26, 2013 |
bellong: Well, INTENTIONAL could be one of it. The only reason I would ask madam to forget it is because the owner of the money already asked her to. If it were to be her money, then I'd have encouraged her to go and confront him. I have noticed most debtors refuse to pay their debts because they know they can get away since most creditors too don't ask. Creditors see it as maturity,or say they don't want wahala or they have done it for God, no be your money ni? What's the big deal in confronting the person? And of course, I mean peaceful confrontation. My mum retired last month and during their retirement sendforth, she showed me a colleague of hers (a retiree too) who has been owing her 80k since last year december. She talked about it once in january and since then hasn't mentioned it till they both retired. This woman earned the same as my mum but she just decided not to pay because she knows my mum would not ask. If it was a loan from bank, would she not return it? At least pay something to show you have the debt in mind and because of next time, the creditor can even forgo the rest. I have been persuading my mum to ask for her money but she also keeps telling me to let it go and their won't be a next time..*phew*! Ps-the woman borrowed the money for her iya oko's burial, so it wasn't even a pressing matter! |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by Idowuogbo(f): 9:05am On May 26, 2013 |
yellowpawpaw: From d posts I've bn reading here so far,I can say dat men like to swallow shit cos they want to show d world dey r men!incredible!Kai, u dey vex gan o! Lmao! Even if husy gives u ur share bck, I can tell u'll still b itching to give the debtor a mouthful.Calm down Aunty wa! No need to go all gangster.You've spoken to the wife already, she's promised to pay some bck, I'm pretty sure she's done all the mouth explosion wiv her husy. D best thing to do is watch! Silence gives consent and if at all he get any conscience, den a guilty conscience needs no accuser. |
| Re: Please Advise Me, I Feel Like Confronting Him by StateOfMind: 9:11am On May 26, 2013 |
kidsam: When your hubby tells you to leave something, please leave it. Why are women so troublesome, you think life is only about comfronting and confronting? Just leave it as your husband has spoken. Oh,please shut it. Does confrontation only mean tying gele around the waist and creating a scene to you. Confrontation is meeting a person face to face. Drop your advice and leave the mumu statement of women being troublesome. Dey there dey ask if life is all about confrontation.. 2 Likes |
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