coogar:

ta! witchdoctors don't sleep.



is just crying more than the bereaved....
hubby lent the money from his own pocket, hubby has told her to forget about confronting the man. the case is open and shut........there's no share to give you as you contributed nothing when the money was lent out.

coogar.. yes the money may have come from his pocket (actually she chipped in)
But the money is not his alone but theirs

she is not obsessed about the money but the lack of responsibility from the fellow who is behaving like nothing happened
That is what rankles her so she is angry on principle

I only lend my colleagues money because i know work fear go make dem return am
if na outsider, if God touch them them fir return am

But generally i would only lend money that if i dont get will not miss




Nice pont though .. ifyalways

ifyalways: I didn't read the whole thread hence I'm commenting based on OP's opening post.

1) Why did u guys go to the wife? Why inform the wife when you've not yet confronted/reminded the man?
2) You and ur hubby decided to forfeit the loan so why the noise? Why raise a storm first?

Long story short : This is not worth the noise, anger. There is no lesson to teach anyone here. Women should learn to know when to jump into "men affair", you never might just know what other non-financial favor that man might be extending to ur husband.

coogar:

this is a very good point - nobody knows where these 2 men meet up to socialise. the money might have been paid back in a viewing centre with several plates of isi-ewu peppersoup and bottles of heineken in a viewing centre.

yes oooo....with some small side entertainment to calm the nerves

ileobatojo:

By the way, the time and energy spent reporting him to his wife could have been spent asking him for your money.

ifyalways: I didn't read yhe whole thread hence I'm commenting based on OP's opening post.

1) Why did u guys go to the wife? Why inform the wife when you've not yet confronted/reminded the man?
2) You and ur hubby decided to forfeit the loan so why the noise? Why raise a storm first?

Long story short : This is not worth the noise, anger. There is no lesson to teach anyone here. Women should learn to know when to jump into "men affair", you never might just know what other non-financial favor that man might be extending to ur husband.

we didnt really called the wife to report her hubby to her, she also came for financial assistance, and we had to tell her what transpired btwn us and her hubby to her, in order to let her know why we felt somehow relunctannt to help out, we actually gave (dash)her some amount we could afford, and we let her know that it was a gift, but, it wont be okay, if we just gave her a token and do not let her know why we were reluctant to give or borrow her the amount she requested.


However, i thank everyone who has come in, in one way or the other to advise, we are learning everyday, and i must confess that my heart is already melt, considering all what i have read here. I thought we are been taken as fools, not knowing that, some other people can be doing such.

Actually, we dont give out what we couldnt afford to lose, but in this case, how can one believe a grwn-up man can lie against ATM and bank, we thought he was sincere and that is way we gave the exact amount he requested for. Well, we have learnt our lesson.


For the upteenth time, let me say it again, im aint annoyed because of the non-repayment of the loan, im a giver, i know and im a living testimony of "givers never lack", but what annoys me is the game he played to get the money and the game hes playing till now. May God help him.

Im not bitter against him, i dont keep malice with him as someone thought here, we crack jokes, we relate well, but i always think we are fools when i see or play with him.

Once again, thank you all, its bygone already, the responses here have already melted my heart and i have decided to let go.

For those saying i want to disobey my hubby, no! Im not and i will never, but no one can always be right everytime, sometimes, as human being, we just want confirmation from maybe 2-3 people to ascertain whether one is right or not, no one is an island of knowledge, sometimes, someone who is most times right may be atimes wrong, if the majority posts here support my confrontation, then, it means, hubby isnt right this time, then, its time to talk it through with hubby since hes not an angel, he can also make mistake in decision making, so count that out, that im disobeying hubby, im only sampling opinions, which is one of the ways one can be wiser.
May God help us all.

CrazyMan:
@bolded part
There's no need to confront him...Do what your hubby advised and let him be...in that way you can be sure that you've gotten rid of him repeating such attitude in future (asking you for money)...truth is shame and guilty conscience wouldn't make him ask you for financial assistance anymore regardless of how urgent his needs are.

So please avoid confronting him.

My ban is yet to be lifted

SpicyMimi: Mistakes we ladies make is trying to get stuppid opinions frm 3rd parties! Like wth? Why should u include strangers into your personal affair? Its crazy mehn! If u r lookn fOr an xcuse to disobey Ur hubby, do it on your own will nd stp lookn fOr pple to encourage u on that.
I dnt just get why you are so bothered about this? Fine he refused nd never cared to pay, let it go...its best cause he won't dare to ask fOr another next time nd if he does, that's when u gonna react. Men Love and adore peaceful wives, don't be a trouble maker nd don't stir up any fuss between the man nd Ur hubby! Its a man to man issue, so just let it go! Biko! Stop listening to those pple askn u to confront nd do wt ever, if anythn happens today, these same pple will judge u nd thrw stones at you, so just obey U̅r hubby nd let peace reign for good.

Did someone cut off this person's head? Why are you running around the thread like a headless chicken? Are you new in the family section or nairaland in general? If you are not ready to read people's 'problems' and offer your advice then buzz off. Jeezzzz..

You don't wanna read people's problems and you are still proffering solution.

N, no, keep your advice to yourself. Worry about managing your brain first, not my home.

nice ... i guess people did not get how the man's wife got involved
May God help us all

greatgod2012:




we didnt really called the wife to report her hubby to her, she also came for financial assistance, and we had to tell her what transpired btwn us and her hubby to her, in order to let her know why we felt somehow relunctannt to help out, we actually gave (dash)her some amount we could afford, and we let her know that it was a gift, but, it wont be okay, if we just gave her a token and do not let her know why we were reluctant to give or borrow her the amount she requested.


However, i thank everyone who has come in, in one way or the other to advise, we are learning everyday, and i must confess that my heart is already melt, considering all what i have read here. I thought we are been taken as fools, not knowing that, some other people can be doing such.

Actually, we dont give out what we couldnt afford to lose, but in this case, how can one believe a grwn-up man can lie against ATM and bank, we thought he was sincere and that is way we gave the exact amount he requested for. Well, we have learnt our lesson.


For the upteenth time, let me say it again, im aint annoyed because of the non-repayment of the loan, im a giver, i know and im a living testimony of "givers never lack", but what annoys me is the game he played to get the money and the game hes playing till now. May God help him.

Im not bitter against him, i dont keep malice with him as someone thought here, we crack jokes, we relate well, but i always think we are fools when i see or play with him.

Once again, thank you all, its bygone already, the responses here have already melted my heart and i have decided to let go.

For those saying i want to disobey my hubby, no! Im not and i will never, but no one can always be right everytime, sometimes, as human being, we just want confirmation from maybe 2-3 people to ascertain whether one is right or not, no one is an island of knowledge, sometimes, someone who is most times right may be atimes wrong, if the majority posts here support my confrontation, then, it means, hubby isnt right this time, then, its time to talk it through with hubby since hes not an angel, he can also make mistake in decision making, so count that out, that im disobeying hubby, im only sampling opinions, which is one of the ways one can be wiser.
May God help us all.

SpicyMimi: Mistakes we ladies make is trying to get stuppid opinions frm 3rd parties! Like wth? Why should u include strangers into your personal affair? Its crazy mehn! If u r lookn fOr an xcuse to disobey Ur hubby, do it on your own will nd stp lookn fOr pple to encourage u on that.
I dnt just get why you are so bothered about this? Fine he refused nd never cared to pay, let it go...its best cause he won't dare to ask fOr another next time nd if he does, that's when u gonna react. Men Love and adore peaceful wives, don't be a trouble maker nd don't stir up any fuss between the man nd Ur hubby! Its a man to man issue, so just let it go! Biko! Stop listening to those pple askn u to confront nd do wt ever, if anythn happens today, these same pple will judge u nd thrw stones at you, so just obey U̅r hubby nd let peace reign for good.

You nailed it.
Have been there....

Becacia_Barbie:
You nailed it.
Have been there....

Thanx

ifyalways: I didn't read yhe whole thread hence I'm commenting based on OP's opening post.

1) Why did u guys go to the wife? Why inform the wife when you've not yet confronted/reminded the man?
2) You and ur hubby decided to forfeit the loan so why the noise? Why raise a storm first?

Long story short : This is not worth the noise, anger. There is no lesson to teach anyone here. Women should learn to know when to jump into "men affair", you never might just know what other non-financial favor that man might be extending to ur husband.

Which one is "men affair"? It is family money. Before I lend out money, I discuss it with my husband and vice versa. Once we got married, it became our money, not his and not mine. So I don't see how my husband can decide to forfeit a loan without discussing it with me first.
And frankly speaking, I am very sensitive about money. So I know that he cannot make such a decision knowing how much it will upset me.
What other posters said is true. All the stories about leave him to God or you are sowing a seed is part of what contributes to the lack of accountability in our society.

debrief08: Nigerians can pet and accept bad behavior.
That's why we have leaders who will continue to rap3 us because we will say "leave them to God".
Confront him, don't only confront him ask for your money back.
Next time even if its your sister get it in writing before releasing even 1kobo on loan.
We don't like paper work and it always gets us in trouble.
Why won't people be acting like idiots when we will "leave them to God", confront him so he will know that even if he can get away with it because others are too docile you are not.
We wonder why we have bad leaders and a horrible society when you can not even stand and take the time to fight for money you have earned.
Sad society.

God Almighty bless you for this reply. A docile society is a city waiting to be enslaved by corruption and greed. How do we fight a theiving government when we are afraid to confront an ordinary neighbor? Spineless whimps!!!

This is why I NEVER lend people money . . . I just don't have the energy for the whole 'pay me back' wahala.

I've been there, done that, now I'm older and wiser!

If I have excess, I can 'dash', but I'm not giving out loans to nobody. Not asking, not giving!

StateOfMind:


Oh,please shut it. Does confrontation only mean tying gele around the waist and creating a scene to you. Confrontation is meeting a person face to face. Drop your advice and leave the mumu statement of women being troublesome.

Dey there dey ask if life is all about confrontation..

So an idiot finally responds with a confrontation. No matter how long it takes (even 4 yrs) an idiot always gets response