-

staceyo: hmm,marriage.well l donnot want to say l regret entering into this with who l thought is my best friend but sometimes l am pushed to say it.
My first year of marriage was fun,we did everything together,told ourselves everything. l had just finished service before the wedding,my husband was taking good care of me even though he would complain that he spends more than his salary. then our son came along,my hubby was so excited.before the baby l remember how my hubby would rush back home to be with his wife.
This is the third year in marriage and things have changed.l had to take up a marketing job,l have been under serious pressure from office,l cry everyday n night and my hubby has enough resources to tell me to resign n help me startup a business but he just looks at me,make very discouraging statements that l even vowed never to tell him anything that happened. now he tells me he wants to start up a business with a friend.
We moved to a new location and then hubby became worse,he doesnt come back home to be with his family,it is either he has gone out to play lawn tennis or he is hanging out with friends. when l was pregnant with the secondbaby,he must go out starting from friday night,saturday and sunday.l endurr everything,like l had a chioce. even after delivery,he continued to hang out n then even on a tuesday night my dear hubby wants to hangout with friends.
l asked him if he has a girlfriend he has to see almost everyday n he said no that he has just changed to an outgoing person.
l feel my marriage crumbling,but l cant telll any1,every body thinks my marriage is perfect but am fed up.
l remember when l wanted to paint the kids room with my money,he told me l cant do anything in his house since l didnt tell him.his house and not our house.l could go on and on,but would stop here,l would not mind some sort of advice.

Hmmm! my dear, he is still urs. remember aw u both started, wake him in d middle of d nite or wen u guyz are in good terms.
call him dat name u used to call him den, remind him of ur u started, tell him wots he is doing now, dat which is hurtin u
open up to him let him feel ur pain, try to knw those frnds he do hang out with.

And also pray for him,cos he is ur crown. pray for ur home.
send him text wen he is out to knw aw work is going, tell him d kids are waiting for him.

I tink with dis he will realise himsef.

remain bless

All I can say is that I wish many young girls that have their head up their arsse are reading this thread.

Sagamite: All I can say is that I wish many young girls that have their head up their arsse are reading this thread.

Word!


Why is it that its mostly ladies that r always on the losing end(let me not use abusive)?
Is it bc of high xpectation in marriage or what?
( Just thinkin aloud)

Marriage is about 4 things

http://www.lifestyle.aabnigeria.com/ls/love-life/marriage-is-about-4-things

Its well.

first year in marriage wasn't easy. for a really harsh person like me, God designed the 1st year to humble me. She got pregnant d first month and d sicknesses started , d doctor got tired of us, night n day she vomited n had pains n cried. I cooked, washed, cleaned vomit etc. Ran home from work several times to attend to her, the whole thing really humbled me n I earned her respect. The baby came n now I can yab her. I learned not to shout, but to b quiet n patient. inspite of our short comings, we've learnt to bond well. I keep learning every day, satisfying a woman is no small deal.

sniyi1: first year in marriage wasn't easy. for a really harsh person like me, God designed the 1st year to humble me. She got pregnant d first month and d sicknesses started , d doctor got tired of us, night n day she vomited n had pains n cried. I cooked, washed, cleaned vomit etc. Ran home from work several times to attend to her, the whole thing really humbled me n I earned her respect. The baby came n now I can yab her. I learned not to shout, but to b quiet n patient. inspite of our short comings, we've learnt to bond well. I keep learning every day, satisfying a woman is no small deal.

A man like me.

@ Sniyi1; what can i say?
I'm so proud of you..Lol
Please keep up the good work; you will forever earn her love,respect and admiration (your children inclusive).
My head swells with joy whenever i see a man who shares ALL family responsibilities with his wife.
A billion likes!

Good evening everyone, this is the 30th month of our marriage. It has been quite eventful and I am blessed to have the husband God blessed me with.
We have a major challenge shaa,I am a Christian but he is a muslim,we got married in church,registry,traditionally however a nikkai was done the day I got to his home.
I decided to be a good wife and follow his religion,but I am beginning to feel very empty deep inside me. I pray and sstill try to do solo fellowship with God, but the need to return to church is so great and overwhelming.
I discussed it with my husband and he insisted that he would not allow me go to church.
I am so confused...
Our earlier agreement was that I was free to worship God as I please;later on ,just about a month to our introduction he said he was going to call it off since he realised he wants a muslim wife ;out of desperation I agreed to try my best to be a muslim{my family must not hear}
Apart from this everything is so rosy and perfect .

Lolz @ sagamite's siggy.

deesmom: Good evening everyone, this is the 30th month of our marriage. It has been quite eventful and I am blessed to have the husband God blessed me with.
We have a major challenge shaa,I am a Christian but he is a muslim,we got married in church,registry,traditionally however a nikkai was done the day I got to his home.
I decided to be a good wife and follow his religion,but I am beginning to feel very empty deep inside me. I pray and sstill try to do solo fellowship with God, but the need to return to church is so great and overwhelming.
I discussed it with my husband and he insisted that he would not allow me go to church.
I am so confused...
Our earlier agreement was that I was free to worship God as I please;later on ,just about a month to our introduction he said he was going to call it off since he realised he wants a muslim wife ;out of desperation I agreed to try my best to be a muslim{my family must not hear}
Apart from this everything is so rosy and perfect .

Don't worship anyone's delusional God in the name of being a good wife.

Don't let anyone force you to do such.

Call his bluff on his blackmailing scheme.

As far as I am concerned, nothing is rosy if your husband has such a ******* mentality.

deesmom: Good evening everyone, this is the 30th month of our marriage. It has been quite eventful and I am blessed to have the husband God blessed me with.
We have a major challenge shaa,I am a Christian but he is a muslim,we got married in church,registry,traditionally however a nikkai was done the day I got to his home.
I decided to be a good wife and follow his religion,but I am beginning to feel very empty deep inside me. I pray and sstill try to do solo fellowship with God, but the need to return to church is so great and overwhelming.
I discussed it with my husband and he insisted that he would not allow me go to church.
I am so confused...
Our earlier agreement was that I was free to worship God as I please;later on ,just about a month to our introduction he said he was going to call it off since he realised he wants a muslim wife ;out of desperation I agreed to try my best to be a muslim{my family must not hear}
Apart from this everything is so rosy and perfect .

was this very very important matter discussed before you got married? what was his stance back then?

Sagamite:



A man like me.

lol

Nice thread

We need to get sagamite a wife! And I mean it!

stillwater: We need to get sagamite a wife! And I mean it!

Haters will always hate.

Continue wishing me bad luck in life o, hater.

I reject your curse of life in jail, IJN.

Sagamite:

Haters will always hate.

Continue wishing me bad luck in life o, hater.

I reject your curse of life in jail, IJN.

So you don't want to ever get married?

NL member:

So you don't want to ever get married?

God forbid bad thing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhuuBh6-ego

Sagamite:

God forbid bad thing.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhuuBh6-ego

Cool

deesmom: Good evening everyone, this is the 30th month of our marriage. It has been quite eventful and I am blessed to have the husband God blessed me with.
We have a major challenge shaa,I am a Christian but he is a muslim,we got married in church,registry,traditionally however a nikkai was done the day I got to his home.
I decided to be a good wife and follow his religion,but I am beginning to feel very empty deep inside me. I pray and sstill try to do solo fellowship with God, but the need to return to church is so great and overwhelming.
I discussed it with my husband and he insisted that he would not allow me go to church.
I am so confused...
Our earlier agreement was that I was free to worship God as I please;later on ,just about a month to our introduction he said he was going to call it off since he realised he wants a muslim wife ;out of desperation I agreed to try my best to be a muslim{my family must not hear}
Apart from this everything is so rosy and perfect .

I really feel for you concerning that - u set yrself up and put yr need for a husband before yr need for satisfying God and yr hapiness. Dnt u knw its d same old story muslim guys do EVERYTIME they get married to a 'christian girl'? Forced conversion earns them heaven in their religion. Well, u got lots of fasting and prayers to do, first of forgiveness for being disobedient, then for grace to stay on the right part cos of yr eternity. As for yr husband's conversion, dats another matter entirely o, shey u sef knw say e no sure

Marriage is about 4 things

http://www.lifestyle.aabnigeria.com/ls/love-life/marriage-is-about-4-things

Hmmmmmm lucky you

emmysharp:

I really feel for you concerning that - u set yrself up and put yr need for a husband before yr need for satisfying God and yr hapiness. Dnt u knw its d same old story muslim guys do EVERYTIME they get married to a 'christian girl'? Forced conversion earns them heaven in their religion. Well, u got lots of fasting and prayers to do, first of forgiveness for being disobedient, then for grace to stay on the right part cos of yr eternity. As for yr husband's conversion, dats another matter entirely o, shey u sef knw say e no sure

For the cheeky record, I just want to say to deesmom, you will never be able to or know how to satisfy God. Because no one knows anything about God, not even the people that wrote your medieval fairytales mixed with horror and psychotic threats reflective of the backwardness of their times.

But you surely sacrificed your happiness for a husband.

Lucky you

deesmom: Good evening everyone, this is the 30th month of our marriage. It has been quite eventful and I am blessed to have the husband God blessed me with.
We have a major challenge shaa,I am a Christian but he is a muslim,we got married in church,registry,traditionally however a nikkai was done the day I got to his home.
I decided to be a good wife and follow his religion,but I am beginning to feel very empty deep inside me. I pray and sstill try to do solo fellowship with God, but the need to return to church is so great and overwhelming.
I discussed it with my husband and he insisted that he would not allow me go to church.
I am so confused...
Our earlier agreement was that I was free to worship God as I please;later on ,just about a month to our introduction he said he was going to call it off since he realised he wants a muslim wife ;out of desperation I agreed to try my best to be a muslim{my family must not hear}
Apart from this everything is so rosy and perfect .

deesmom: Good evening everyone, this is the 30th month of our marriage. It has been quite eventful and I am blessed to have the husband God blessed me with.
We have a major challenge shaa,I am a Christian but he is a muslim,we got married in church,registry,traditionally however a nikkai was done the day I got to his home.
I decided to be a good wife and follow his religion,but I am beginning to feel very empty deep inside me. I pray and sstill try to do solo fellowship with God, but the need to return to church is so great and overwhelming.
I discussed it with my husband and he insisted that he would not allow me go to church.
I am so confused...
Our earlier agreement was that I was free to worship God as I please;later on ,just about a month to our introduction he said he was going to call it off since he realised he wants a muslim wife ;out of desperation I agreed to try my best to be a muslim{my family must not hear}
Apart from this everything is so rosy and perfect .

1st of all, this is a really great thread, GOD bless u Ronke!
@deesmom, I want 2 encourage u, if u hav given ur life 2 CHRIST, no matter how far u stray away, u will always be welcome home, hence d story of d prodigal son in the bible. If u feel lost today, turn back & don't be afraid, HE will welcome u with open arms.
I dated a Muslim for 3 months, he was kind & loving but HATED it when I tried 2 convert him & I saw d hatred in time, so d rest is history!
There are somethings u should never compromise in life, religion is one of them & so is family. Pls confess to ur family that he blackmailed u. It is well with u!

[quote author=VALIDATOR]Marriage sweet die ooo.Heaven is already here! First year of marriage gave me a feeling that all those who complained in their marriages were just exaggerating things. Till date I find it difficult to understand what is suppose to be causing problems. When we argue or disagree,it is with 49% frowns and 51% smiles and generally ends with me getting stronger errection and she longer forreplay and deeper orgassm. I learned a long time ago that just when u feel u may raise ur voice to drive home your points you should just lie down and u will see how impossible it is to shout at your spouse (You will have to speak with normal voice.Misunderstandings never degenerate unless u raise your voice).It works for me.
Till date she still complains about me sometimes forgetting to flush the toilet and she hates the sight of shiit (mine inclusive). I just say something like "Ooooh I am so sorry. When next you shiit just retaliate by not flushing.I will come do the flushing and we are even." It always ends in smiles.

Till date,I complain about her many shortcomings but we always end up smiling without raising our voices. If i have another heart I still will give it to her.If I live another life I still will spend it with her.LIFE IS GOOD.u are a good man...GOD bless for being a good husband

My second month in marriage to a lady I dated for 6years and I must admit that you can never know it all during dating... My wife is the best and sweetest thing that has ever happened to me (in marriage, far better than the dating era) and thank God I took that decision
For those having series of issues, the importance of communication cannot be over-emphasized

chiboyo: My second month in marriage to a lady I dated for 6years and I must admit that you can never know it all during dating... My wife is the best and sweetest thing that has ever happened to me (in marriage, far better than the dating era) and thank God I took that decision
For those having series of issues, the importance of communication cannot be over-emphasized

yeah right. Read abt communication here:
Marriage is about 4 things

http://www.lifestyle.aabnigeria.com/ls/love-life/marriage-is-about-4-things

This thread is really very interesting.

First year of marriage was spent far apart. My husband got a scholarship to study in the USA he left Nigeria 4weeks after our wedding. So it was still more like the boyfriend/Girlfriend kind of relationship. Went to visit him twice and it was all kind of Rosy.

When he came back he gave up some job offers and scholarship for his phd and relocated to where I work (which I actually think is a great sacrifice). We going to 4 years now. He is a kind man is the best way to describe him. He listens when I talk and sometimes when he can't help (he never helps with housework) but the way he would hail you ehnn.

I am an only girl and grew up in a setting where most stuffs are done for you, so I would say I am a bit spoilt. The demands of cooking and cleaning can sometimes get to me but I am getting used to it.

He is 5years older. So the maturity came in handy.

We are also still waiting and praying God grants us the fruits of marriage. Apart from that I am glad I married my husband.

So far So gooood.

Aliamdulillah

This is the best thread I've seen on NL ever! I love it and the different experiences shared have encouraged me to drop my fears about marriage. Time to "woman"up and stop hanging onto my freedom and personal space and stop scaring off potential husbands like winsh! Lol!

I bless God for the day i discovered nairaland.
i've really learnt alot.