Nice thread, i must confess i'v learnt alot of things.....i pray with God true love, joy and peace will be present and active in my marriage....same prayer goes to both single and married on this thread....hoping to share my experience soon...cheers

Wow! 1st time of going thru every page of a thread on nairaland. Quiet interesting I must confess.
For those already through the challenging stage, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Those still at trying period, keep hope alive, may God grant you the grace to scale through.
@ Ops thanks for the 'evergreen' topic, I have always trust God for my own marriage & with what I learnt here, His grace will definitely see me through

What an eye opener.

Will keep on reading. Thanks you guys and more importantly OP

I truly don't understand why I never find the wonderful threads like this one before they're a dozen pages into the game. Well, I guess it's better late than never.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and was created to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, a lot of people (young and old) tend to look forward to a romantic love story, which usually never happens. Put bluntly, marriage is like going to university or college. You strive to get into it. You enter it with a lot of awe and expectations and then reality sets in. If you don't study, you can't pass. The more effort you put into studying your course materials, the more prepared you are for the exams that definitely show up. Marriage is the same. You study, understand, adapt and it becomes more and more easier to relate with this person that you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

My 1st year of marriage wasn't perfect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so. She was beautiful, educated, independent and extremely smart. We courted for 3 years before we got married (that doesn't mean I'm endorsing long courtships). However, for the 1st time in my life, I made up my mind not to have s3x with my partner and it really helped us get to know each other without s3x being a big distraction. When we got married, I was so terrified that we might not be compatible s3xually because she was a virgin and I was the worst of the worst who had done almost everything under the sun. It was never a problem. We were made for each other and s3x was awesome. Most importantly, we were friends and could talk about anything. This helped us in averting the usual relationship strains because we could talk about them and iron things out. Being patient is maybe the most important part of a marriage, because no one is perfect. The 1st year was good, the 2nd year was better, the 3rd and 4th years were great and the 5th year was awesome. I'm pretty sure the 6th and remaining years would have been blissful, but unfortunately, she passed on to glory during the 6th year after a brief illness and the fairy tale came to an abrupt end. That was in 2004

I kind of lost all motivation for relationships after that. I have 2 wonderful kids from her and they are my soul and joy....the reason I live. I have a thread that details my experiences as a widower - https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower. I've also contributed on various threads on how wonderful my marriage was (https://www.nairaland.com/2598/tell-us-marriage/20).

Now, here I am...9 years later and I've finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's a survivor of a bad marriage and really messed up divorce. I guess God needed me to experience what a wonderful marriage can be like and then brought me in contact with a woman who never experienced one. She's like a wounded lion that has to be patiently brought back to recovery and I'm blessed to be the one to show her that happy marriages truly exist. The patience I've gained all through these years serves me so well now and we will be married early next year. I never thought that I would even feel love for another woman, but here I am 9 years later (a pretty long time to be prepared don't you think?).

All things work together for good, to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. I truly believe that and I've been given a second chance and I want to prove the pessimists wrong. Miracles can happen twice and you can actually have a wonderful marriage - twice in a row.

It takes a lot of patience and a lot of understanding (and love makes it a lot sweeter). I pray we all experience the joy of marriage.

serubawon: I truly don't understand why I never find the wonderful threads like this one before they're a dozen pages into the game. Well, I guess it's better late than never.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and was created to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, a lot of people (young and old) tend to look forward to a romantic love story, which usually never happens. Put bluntly, marriage is like going to university or college. You strive to get into it. You enter it with a lot of awe and expectations and then reality sets in. If you don't study, you can't pass. The more effort you put into studying your course materials, the more prepared you are for the exams that definitely show up. Marriage is the same. You study, understand, adapt and it becomes more and more easier to relate with this person that you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

My 1st year of marriage wasn't perfect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so. She was beautiful, educated, independent and extremely smart. We courted for 3 years before we got married (that doesn't mean I'm endorsing long courtships). However, for the 1st time in my life, I made up my mind not to have s3x with my partner and it really helped us get to know each other without s3x being a big distraction. When we got married, I was so terrified that we might not be compatible s3xually because she was a virgin and I was the worst of the worst who had done almost everything under the sun. It was never a problem. We were made for each other and s3x was awesome. Most importantly, we were friends and could talk about anything. This helped us in averting the usual relationship strains because we could talk about them and iron things out. Being patient is maybe the most important part of a marriage, because no one is perfect. The 1st year was good, the 2nd year was better, the 3rd and 4th years were great and the 5th year was awesome. I'm pretty sure the 6th and remaining years would have been blissful, but unfortunately, she passed on to glory during the 6th year after a brief illness and the fairy tale came to an abrupt end. That was in 2004

I kind of lost all motivation for relationships after that. I have 2 wonderful kids from her and they are my soul and joy....the reason I live. I have a thread that details my experiences as a widower - https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower. I've also contributed on various threads on how wonderful my marriage was (https://www.nairaland.com/2598/tell-us-marriage/20).

Now, here I am...9 years later and I've finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's a survivor of a bad marriage and really messed up divorce. I guess God needed me to experience what a wonderful marriage can be like and then brought me in contact with a woman who never experienced one. She's like a wounded lion that has to be patiently brought back to recovery and I'm blessed to be the one to show her that happy marriages truly exist. The patience I've gained all through these years serves me so well now and we will be married early next year. I never thought that I would even feel love for another woman, but here I am 9 years later (a pretty long time to be prepared don't you think?).

All things work together for good, to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. I truly believe that and I've been given a second chance and I want to prove the pessimists wrong. Miracles can happen twice and you can actually have a wonderful marriage - twice in a row.

It takes a lot of patience and a lot of understanding (and love makes it a lot sweeter). I pray we all experience the joy of marriage.

serubawon: I truly don't understand why I never find the wonderful threads like this one before they're a dozen pages into the game. Well, I guess it's better late than never.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and was created to last a lifetime. Unfortunately, a lot of people (young and old) tend to look forward to a romantic love story, which usually never happens. Put bluntly, marriage is like going to university or college. You strive to get into it. You enter it with a lot of awe and expectations and then reality sets in. If you don't study, you can't pass. The more effort you put into studying your course materials, the more prepared you are for the exams that definitely show up. Marriage is the same. You study, understand, adapt and it becomes more and more easier to relate with this person that you plan to spend the rest of your life with.

My 1st year of marriage wasn't perfect, but I wasn't expecting it to be so. She was beautiful, educated, independent and extremely smart. We courted for 3 years before we got married (that doesn't mean I'm endorsing long courtships). However, for the 1st time in my life, I made up my mind not to have s3x with my partner and it really helped us get to know each other without s3x being a big distraction. When we got married, I was so terrified that we might not be compatible s3xually because she was a virgin and I was the worst of the worst who had done almost everything under the sun. It was never a problem. We were made for each other and s3x was awesome. Most importantly, we were friends and could talk about anything. This helped us in averting the usual relationship strains because we could talk about them and iron things out. Being patient is maybe the most important part of a marriage, because no one is perfect. The 1st year was good, the 2nd year was better, the 3rd and 4th years were great and the 5th year was awesome. I'm pretty sure the 6th and remaining years would have been blissful, but unfortunately, she passed on to glory during the 6th year after a brief illness and the fairy tale came to an abrupt end. That was in 2004

I kind of lost all motivation for relationships after that. I have 2 wonderful kids from her and they are my soul and joy....the reason I live. I have a thread that details my experiences as a widower - https://www.nairaland.com/20511/adjusting-life-widower. I've also contributed on various threads on how wonderful my marriage was (https://www.nairaland.com/2598/tell-us-marriage/20).

Now, here I am...9 years later and I've finally found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. She's a survivor of a bad marriage and really messed up divorce. I guess God needed me to experience what a wonderful marriage can be like and then brought me in contact with a woman who never experienced one. She's like a wounded lion that has to be patiently brought back to recovery and I'm blessed to be the one to show her that happy marriages truly exist. The patience I've gained all through these years serves me so well now and we will be married early next year. I never thought that I would even feel love for another woman, but here I am 9 years later (a pretty long time to be prepared don't you think?).

All things work together for good, to them that love God and are called according to His purpose. I truly believe that and I've been given a second chance and I want to prove the pessimists wrong. Miracles can happen twice and you can actually have a wonderful marriage - twice in a row.

It takes a lot of patience and a lot of understanding (and love makes it a lot sweeter). I pray we all experience the joy of marriage.

. It refershing to know dat there are still people who wait til marriage and ve very good sex life. Now everyone is on a fast lane and it looks old fashioned. Uncle seru God wil bless your new marriage and grant you all long life. Everyday wil be a testimony for you

zeb04: . It refershing to know dat there are still people who wait til marriage and ve very good sex life. Now everyone is on a fast lane and it looks old fashioned. Uncle seru God wil bless your new marriage and grant you all long life. Everyday wil be a testimony for you

If she is a virgin, I won't force or ask her for sex, but if she isn't, well let me say NL girls opened my eyes to this phrase "He must be good in bed".

passionate88: If she is a virgin, I won't force or ask her for sex, but if she isn't, well let me say NL girls opened my eyes to this phrase "He must be good in bed".

Even a virgin wants you to be good in bed

Just step up your game and stop making it look like there's anyone out there who is really ready to spend her life doing some 'kantinbontun' thing in the name of sex!

alutacontinua:


Even a virgin wants you to be good in bed

Just step up your game and stop making it look like there's anyone out there who is really ready to spend her life doing some 'kantinbontun' thing in the name of sex!

To my own understanding, for someone to be "good in bed" means that he/she must have had alot of practices, is it wrong for me to not want to be jumpin from one girl to another?.

passionate88: To my own understanding,[b] for someone to be "good in bed" means that he/she must have had alot of practices, [/b]is it wrong for me to not want to be jumpin from one girl to another?.

And u think you need lot of se..x partners for that?

rokiatu:
And u think you need lot of se..x partners for that?

All I know is practice makes perfect. I might need to practice alot, and which girl will patiently teach someone hw to do it?.

Aluta n Rokiatu. Pls don't derail the thread

passionate88: All I know is practice makes perfect. I might need to practice alot, and which girl will patiently teach someone hw to do it?.

Know one thing, you can be a virgin, and even marry a virgin and you two can go on to be very great in bed. You don't need numerous partners for that.

The so called peeps who have slept with lot of people are really terrible in bed trust me. They are selfish.. and the number one trait to been great in bed is been unselfish.

@Rokiatu, that's what I meant na, if she is a virgin, I don't mind waiting till we get married b4 we do it. We will learn many things together, but if she ain't one. According to nbright, I must taste and see if we are compactible. I hate hearing stories that touched.

zeb04: . It refershing to know dat there are still people who wait til marriage and ve very good sex life. Now everyone is on a fast lane and it looks old fashioned. Uncle seru God wil bless your new marriage and grant you all long life. Everyday wil be a testimony for you

Thank you very much. I really appreciate that.

This is serious, like the one i read this morning abt his gf not wanting him to suckle, oh goodness i just went back to sleep, it must be a bad dream. sampling all over the land of Babel.

passionate88: All I know is practice makes perfect. I might need to practice alot, and which girl will patiently teach someone hw to do it?.

armyofone: This is serious, like the one i read this morning abt his gf not wanting him to suckle, oh goodness i just went back to sleep, it must be a bad dream. sampling all over the land of Babel.

How is it serious?.

Nairalanders ohh where art thou, dont tell me this is the end of this thread ohh.

Nice thread

Space booked.





Will add my own story one day by God's grace. Till then happy married life to all.

I.must commend all that have and will contribute to this thread.WHAT I LEARNT
1. Communcation is key
2. Argument,disputes,quarel and misunderstanding cannot be over-emphasised, but resolved amicably.
3.Dating and marriage are two different ball games.
4. The challenges and problems faced when we say together forever is called MARRIAGE.

Finally, thanks for sharing.

Wow..one of d best thread so far on NL..cant wait,to share my wonderful experiences one day.

Wao! This tread is th best of its kind. It inspiring and educative. I have really learned a lot. No marriage is rosy all through. It takes time, effort and dedication of the two people involved to make it work. in my fourth month of marriage. Although it has not been easy but I give God all the glory. Am looking forward to sharing my success story and to see my marriage waxing strong in next decade to come. Meanwhile, am still young in the institution and looking forward for the old seniors to keep sharing their experiences in order to nurture us the young ones and encourage us as well. I will not fail in marriage in Jesus name, Amen.

bums:
Mine was sweet and sour.got a a new job a month to my wedding.was only entitled to 4days for both wedding n honeymoon.got married on sat resumed work the next tues.no honeymoon!
I leave home as early as 5:30am get bk bet 9 and 10pm alrealy tired.sex became a duty and burden.
To cap it up got pregnant almost imediately. d stress of work,pregnancy and taking care of the home took its toll on me.I became cranky had several quarels with hubby. was constantly complaining...it was not funny at all
But thank God for given me a very understanding man.we do d house chores together,he took everytin wit maturity praying and beleiving God for a change. Although we still have our challenges but things have eased up a great deal.
Despite all my 1st year experience,I never for once regreted geting married.marriage is the most wonderful tin dat can happen to any woman depending on how well she is able to handle its ups and down.the 1yr of every marriage is very critical cos dats wen the couple get to know their real selves.the era of fantasy is eventually replaced with the rude shock of reality.
By May I'll be 2yrs in marriage.Thank God for the ever increasing love and commitment in my marriage.it can only get better!

my story was exactly like yours except for the caring man part.

This thread has really helped me and my orientation about marriage and life in general. God bless Mr. Seun, Mrs Rokiatu, and everyone that contributed. Wish to hear more and share mine soon.

A wonderful thread that got my time and zeal to comment.......My first year was worst especially the first few month. i got alot of choices (men) about 4 guys were down to make me a wife(they all tot me a good girl/wife material) I married the least expected guy....as in if anyone had told me this guy would be my husband i would have said God forbid....we grew from different background, religion, belief......The first 3month was hell....i saw different reasons why i shouldn't have married him, quarreled all the time, told each other the worst words...and again i got pregnant the very night of our marriage (yes i know this cos we never had any form of sex 3 months after due to too much wahala) the hormonal changes caused alot of buohaha which my inexperienced husband didnt know how to deal wit. he would always think i don't love him and i will always cry my eyes out of being neglected and marring the wrong man.......but today, i am the most grateful woman to have him cos i soon realise no man would have tolerated me better than my hubby. We still argues ooo but we have learnt to settle quickly.... I always look forward to going home like a baby who has long waited for her mother so does he.....one key thing that kept us still strong is the fact that we never for once those period invited any third party....we once went on quarreling for a week unknown to my mom who was their to take care of our baby.....that is one strength we cant jeopardize.....marriage is a beautiful thing people just giving ur self to leaning

Such a nice thread. Stumbled on thread last night n am done reading to the last page. I pray for every1 going through trying times in marriage that God will settle them. Can't wait to get married

I'm just a few months ,not a year yet, but honestly , its been eventful.

I have gradually come to learn that noone changes in marriage, so I'm not going to bother changing but to accept ,tolerate , love and learn to understand my hubby.

It has been been beautiful, with good,bad,ugly moments.
My hubby is a great guy,I'm a good woman too, just a little bit of misunderstanding and we probabaly re still liviing in fear cos of previous experiences, this brings doubt at some point.

I thank God for the journey so far and I pray for holy spirit to teach to understand and love each other more.

Its a school worth attending, I have never failed in any school, I start off a bit shaky but I go thru and pass out in flying colors, Since tthres no passing out here, Iam determined to and will go thru this with distinction. It me be my first,my only and my best in Jesus name. Amen

My marriage will be a year next month.....hmmmm, it has been a very wonderful journey. I am writing this with all smiles on my face. We dated for 4years so we kinda got to know a lot about each other before getting married but in all it has been a very beautiful and loving journey.

Our arguments don't last long, we talk about it immediately and we get it settled. A few times we have had arguments that lasted all day, we will strictly ping each other when we are really upset, by the time we both have calm down, we will call and apologize to ourselves.....each one of us always have a part to be blame with.

My husband is such a wonderful man, I am about six months pregnant and he has been the one doing most of the house chores since day one of our pregnancy, he has been very caring and loving and I will choose to marry him over and over and over and over again . When I needed about six pillows to support me while sleeping, my husband choose to sleep on the coach and let me have the bed to myself, he hasn't missed any antenatal checkups......he is usually the only man during our antenatal health talks .

I pray that God who has sustained us from the beginning will keep sustaining us till the end.

lamdec:
My marriage will be a year next month.....hmmmm, it has been a very wonderful journey. I am writing this with all smiles on my face. We dated for 4years so we kinda got to know a lot about each other before getting married but in all it has been a very beautiful and loving journey.

Our arguments don't last long, we talk about it immediately and we get it settled. A few times we have had arguments that lasted all day, we will strictly ping each other when we are really upset, by the time we both have calm down, we will call and apologize to ourselves.....each one of us always have a part to be blame with.

My husband is such a wonderful man, I am about six months pregnant and he has been the one doing most of the house chores since day one of our pregnancy, he has been very caring and loving and I will choose to marry him over and over and over and over again . When I needed about six pillows to support me while sleeping, my husband choose to sleep on the coach and let me have the bed to myself, he hasn't missed any antenatal checkups......he is usually the only man during our antenatal health talks .

I pray that God who has sustained us from the beginning will keep sustaining us till the end.

Lovely.

This is the most interesting and educative thread I have ever read on this forum. May God give us happy homes.

thanks to God that I came across this thread. am really learning. God bless the op and also bless my to be home. will be there in a couple of months and I just can't wait.

Read, learnt n absorbed a lot here...nice.