₦airaland Forum

Sapio

Do what u have to do
Be responsible to your kid

I wonder why some are weeping more than the bereaved

My inner soothsayer says she was never pregnant. You should have calmed asked to take her for a test.

pickabeau1:
Sapio
Do what u have to do
Be responsible to your kid
I wonder why some are weeping more than the bereaved

Thank you...
I sincerely appreciate your kind words.

BuddhaPalm:
My inner soothsayer says she was never pregnant. You should have calmed asked to take her for a test.

She was.. saw test results.

Sapiosexual22:
She was.. saw test results.

Possibly 'manufactured'.

BuddhaPalm:
Possibly 'manufactured'.

With the morning sickness, and the latest stunt pulled by family to show up at my family's doorstep without any invitation or informing me, i strongly doubt it.

Sapiosexual22:
With the morning sickness, and the latest stunt pulled by family to show up at my family's doorstep without any invitation or informing me, i strongly doubt it.

She and her family are not well! When did it become by force to marry? Were they thinking that useless old school stunt they pulled will make you marry her? What does your family say about all this? I know they must be very disappointed in you.

The deed is done. She has as much blame as you in this whole saga. Afterall, she is an adult and was not rap£d. There was no talk of marriage between you two before now. What makes her/them think a pregnancy will automatically change everything? She wanted a child to validate her "fertility", she got it. She shouldn't rope you into an emergency marriage.

My advice; stay calm, don't fret. Keep watching them to see their next move. Let them know from your actions, that you cannot be bullied into marrying her. Please, do be a part of the child's life. Be responsible for him/her. Be the best father you can be but leave marriage out of it.

I'm sure you have learnt you lesson. What were you doing living with a single desperate lady and straffing raw? Knowing fully well that you donot want to be committed to her incase of any mishap. You even got your own accommodation but still decided to squat with her. E don set now, you dey remember say she senior you.

^^^

Oga poster above me, did you read the OP post very well? Where in the entire post did you see that the pregnant lady and her family are trying to force marriage out of the guy Do you need glasses to read the post again? I have some I keep just for cases like this.

The girl in question wants nothing to do with the OP presently. She's gotten the validation she needs that she's not infertile and OP wants her to terminate. That's summary for you, incase you can't read it again.

@OP
It is highly unlikely that the lady will terminate the pregnancy. Haba, put yourself in her shoes naa. Do you know what she went through the entire time she was married and unable to conceive. You know how our naija in-laws can be now. They might have been cruel to her and called her names, including barren.

Now she's gotten just one chance to prove the world wrong and you want her to throw it away. Sorry dude, I also wouldn't if I were in her shoes. Also, when you were straffing her and enjoying your life, you didn't remember she's older than you abi? To you she was a walking kitten to relieve your sexual tension, now you turn around and scream victimisation.

Biko answer your father's name, carry your cross and be a man. She's not asking for marriage. Please be an adult and accept responsibility for that innocent child coming into the world.

@op: Don't you think you've done enough "damage"? Besides, you've made your stance perfectly clear on this issue, so do yourself a favour and stay away from her and the baby - assuming she ignored your evil suggestions.

Godmother:
^^^Oga poster above me, did you read the OP post very well? Where in the entire post did you see that the pregnant lady and her family are trying to force marriage out of the guy Do you need glasses to read the post again? I have some I keep just for cases like this.

The girl in question wants nothing to do with the OP presently. She's gotten the validation she needs that she's not infertile and OP wants her to terminate. That's summary for you, incase you can't read it again.

Unfortunately, the OP deleted his latest update as regards the stunt the girl and her family pulled yesterday when they went visiting his family uninvited. If you read it, you will see that she and her family want EVERYTHING to do with him and do want his commitment.

But since the OP deleted the update, i will let this slide.

Sapiosexual22:
ok

Why did you delete your post? Scared of anything?

Sapiosexual22:
With the morning sickness, and the latest stunt pulled by family to show up at my family's doorstep without any invitation or informing me, i strongly doubt it.

No no no, if marriage wasn't in the picture don't let anyone force you into an unhealthy union that will affect the sanity of the unborn child. Because probability is that you will come to hate this lady on the long run.

But OP, you said there was a chemistry and love between both of you or was it just infatuation?. If you love her, age and money is secondary , so you can still work on the relationship. But my guess is you don't love her like you thought.

Therefore if you don't love her but she insists on keeping the baby, I will advice you to accept that child but also insist you cannot marry her. She will only be a baby mama. She can't eat her cake and have it.

Godmother:
^^^Oga poster above me, did you read the OP post very well? Where in the entire post did you see that the pregnant lady and her family are trying to force marriage out of the guy Do you need glasses to read the post again? I have some I keep just for cases like this.

You are the one who needs double lenses with thick frame not Phema. The poster said her family members wants to come and pay his dowry. They want to do introduction with his family by force.

My candid advise; stay away from her atleast for now, she knows you can't marry her and don't let her pressure you into doing it because a child is involved...

If she call on you for help especially with the baby matter pls do not hesitate to turn-up it's your child. Just be there for her from a distance!

Phema:
Unfortunately, the OP deleted his latest update as regards the stunt the girl and her family pulled yesterday when they went visiting his family uninvited. If you read it, you will see that she and her family want EVERYTHING to do with him and do want his commitment.

But since the OP deleted the update, i will let this slide.

Why did you delete your post? Scared of anything?

So we're being fed with half baked stories? To help with the sympathy votes?

Typical. Nairalanders never fail to disappoint.

EfemenaXY:
So we're being fed with half baked stories? To help with the sympathy votes?

Typical. Nairaland never fails to disappoint.

I'm beginning to think that too.

OP, get used to it, you are now a baby daddy.Nothing you say to that woman will make her abort her pregnancy. Start gathering money for child support. Get real and be there for your child. As for them forcing you to marry their daughter, don't fall for it

I'm only surprised That the Op was expecting less trouble.

Bro, You can't walk on hot coals and expect no Hurt. You moved in with a single and probably desperate woman, feading from and sleeping with her and still hoping to come out clean

It is all your fault, Just find a way sort things out in the best possible way. Forget about termination cos she won't do it. No woman in her condition would want to do such.

@ Sapiosexual22

My gut instinct tells me you've been played very nicely.

Op, next time you wanna straff someone who you have no intention of settling down with, you will use polybag, not even cd.

Holla us when it is time for the naming ceremony of your bundle of joy. Oniranu

Kanwulia:
We now know why Goodluck is still married to Patience!
After "deflowering" her and putting her through countless terminations!
About time you BOYS waited till you are ready to START PHOCKING UNCONTROLLABLY!

After what YOU know the woman went through with her marriage and the pregnancy issue, you TURNED OUT TO BE EVEN WORSE THAN HER EX HUSBAND!

Any man that asks any woman TO KILL HIS OWN UNBORN CHILD IS A SOCIOPATH!

You are a COWARD and need to castrate yourself before you breed MORE FOOLS like yourself!

Grow up to be a man and stop thinking with your "SHYTE-HOLE"!

Glad the lady has a supportive family.
You need to GET LOST. . . . AND STAY LOST!!!!

WORD!

Scam. No pregnancy abeg...

bellong:
What did you do wrong?

You turned yourself to divine counsellor and failed to know or see where to draw the boundary...

You didn't know when to back out, you were secretly nursing the ambition of taking your counselling to the next level.......

You were sleeping in the same room with a lady who is not a relative free of charge (have you heard the word, flee from every appearance of evil).

You were drilling a borehole without covering the drilling bit and you expect not to reach the water table?

You failed to define the relationship and also failed to think about everything you are thinking now. Putting the cart before the horse.....

You failed in your responsibility as a counsellor to her. She told you reason why her first husband ditched her, yet you are suggesting abortion. You are an enemy of progress in her book.

You couldn't come to terms with holding your vessel in dignity and many more.

What can you do?

Strike out abortion completely from your plans.

When she comes around, apologise for suggesting she have an abortion and both discuss what to do with the pregnancy and how to take care of it.

Decide if you will marry her or not. If you are not, part ways and reach a reasonable conclusion on how to take care of the innocent child.

Word

Bellong, you a better counsellor

So simple...
...you're just being irresponsible, the whole issue is your fault, because the lady didn't impregnate herself.

If you weren't interested in fathering a child yet, you know what you should have done.

The right thing to do and the hard thing to do, are usually the same.

You don't need anyone to tell you what you did wrong.

[b]To all that have had something reasonable to say, my appreciation knows no bounds. God bless you!
In response to those who have said i have been feeding half baked story, from my own purview, i reserve the rights to share my story. Going by some seemingly irresponsible comments from the thread, i could cut it off but for the quite few adroit comments i came about, i will post the update again not just because i want to learn from the wealth of advice and admonition but to make others who are following the thread secretly to learn from my own story.


As much as i was so disappointed to have failed my parents. They did handle the issue better than what i expected.
Her said sister and her husband, without any prior information, went to see my parents behind me. Going by the fact that, their name and address was only a google search away. My parents called me the same moment they arrived that they had some people with him now saying that i impregnated someone. I was shocked beyond disbelief! My feet were shaking and thoughts racing as to why they did that. If i had at any point refused to pay the bills or had absconded, that was when i personally felt they had the whole right to have gone ahead to see my parents without running it through me. The said Aunt and her husband, i can't even say this is what they look like.

Anyways, the following day, my Dad invited us both(the pregnant lady) and i explained all that happened truthfully, hammering on the reason why i suggested termination in the first place(Disappointing them). However, since the worst has happened, i told them i will handle all the bills that come with the baby, ONLY after i have confirmed the paternity of the baby via DNA tests. Hence, all receipts of prior payments relating to the pregnancy should carefully be kept and will be refunded after the paternity has been confirmed.

My parents kicked against it and said they were going to take care of the child and the lady, they were also going to see the lady's dad so as to formally inform him of the fact that our family is ready to accept the child and take care of the lady as well. I also did state how desperate she and her family seem to me and that i can't settle down with her. She then said, if my folks were to go see her Dad, he will request for Marriage. Immediately, i told her categorically in clear terms, it wasn't going to happen.

Prior the meet, I have gone through all legal laws in Nigeria and there was none that at any point said anything about marrying just because you get someone pregnant. The only criminal offense as stated under Section 277 of the Criminal law of Lagos is, "Not taking care of the baby and every related expenses."
We await when the meeting will be and i will go and state my case.

But i was visibly shaken that the lady and her so called aunt could have gone to that extent, if things peradventure had been worse, she could send hoodlums or assassins to me or my family. I have stopped every form of communication as requested by her aunt with the lady till we meet at her Dad's.

Thank you!

Permit me to add this, to those saying i have fed on her food and stuffs, i will not blame your ignorance but next time ask questions like some others have reasonably done on this thread. For record's sake, i have paid for EVERY meal that we both ate throughout the span of the time i was with her. Even went as far as paying her utility bills and some of her part-time school bills. So before you go all thinking i was some leech who fed off her, it was the other way round.

Thank you again for your words. I keep learning from life and i'm fully prepared to be a good dad for the child if it medically turns out to be mine. Although, the thoughts of being a father i must confess send cold chills down my spine.
To the Lagosians, have a wonderful public holiday and to other's outside Lagos, a great day at work.
Bless you All.[/b]

I think you can request for the thread to be closed or even deleted

You have decided to be responsible for the kid

I am happy you have decided to accept the baby if DNA proves he is yours.

Believe me, years to come, you will be happy the child came at this time.

Sometimes I do wonder why I didn't impregnate someone while I was in secondary school...

At least the child will be in the university now or preparing to be than now learning how to talk to a 2yr old over active boy....


It is well with you. You have learnt a big lesson of life.

Do not let anyone blackmail you to marrying her if you are not comfortable doing it but make up your mind to be the best dad to the child.

@op i think you have not been fair to this woman you claim to have loved you showed no consideration for her feelings someone you've been sleeping with without protection for months all of a sudden you require a DNA test? You are something.

andromida:
@op i think you have not been fair to this woman you claim to have loved you showed no consideration for her feelings someone you've been sleeping with without protection for months all of a sudden you require a DNA test? You are something.

For months kwa?? Na wa o! Na you dey do am??
wetin i no go see for NL...

Sapiosexual22:
For months kwa?? Na wa o! Na you dey do am??
wetin i no go see for NL...

No be me dey do am but if no be months how long? even if na weeks you use protection? You are not ready for a child yet you didn't protect yourself you put your your life in the hands of a woman you cannot even wife. I would think before you move in with a woman sef she should be someone in case things go south you can wife not just any woman. Awoof sex don turn to belle na you do yourself o. I hope you'll find it in your heart to love the child.

All the best as you try to make sense of everything.

andromida:
No be me dey do am but if no be months how long? even if na weeks you use protection? You are not ready for a child yet you didn't protect yourself you put your your life in the hands of a woman you cannot even wife. I would think before you move in with a woman sef she should be someone in case things go south you can wife not just any woman. Awoof sex don turn to belle na you do yourself o. I hope you'll find it in your heart to love the child.

All the best as you try to make sense of everything.

Yeah... Learnt, digested my experiences while i still forge ahead.
I definitely will love the child.
Thank you again!

Meanwhile, can we stop making it look like it is solely the OP's fault that they had unprotected $ex?

Women do this a lot and it pisses me off, you have the right to request for a condom, if he disagrees, put on your pants or live with the consequences of your approval, it takes two people to have $ex you know? Haba!.

Ishilove:
Op, next time you wanna straff someone who you have no intention of settling down with, you will use polybag, not even cd.

Holla us when it is time for the naming ceremony of your bundle of joy. Oniranu

Ishilove nawa o
Do you have a personal problem with the Op?

DukeNija:
Ishilove nawa o
Do you have a personal problem with the Op?

Nope. Why do you ask?