₦airaland Forum

killjoy:
lol y na? am I in trouble?

No...how can? Just forget if u re not comfortable with that.

jmoore:
I will marry.
I will live long.
I will sleep with one woman(my wife) for the rest of my life.


He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from God..

same as me, i'll love her till i grow old.

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blackdiamond1:
Hi OP,
I'm not advisingu to get married or fall in love or anythinglike that. I mean y would u do something u hate so much?

But from ur post and responses it seems u are angry and bitter abt some heartbreak from a lady u dated for 2 yrs( I may be wrong tho). She has taken those 2 years from you, don't let her make u miserablle for life. Don't make one singe human being have such effect on u, no body is worth it.
You really can't tell what future pain God was preserving you from and made her leave. What if she stayed and married u and made ur life hell. I mean if she leaves u and u know ur worth, its her loss. Yes u spent money, you can make much more. You gave her 2 yrs of ur life, u have ur whole life ahead of u, u loved her, u can love another(yes u can if u let go of that hurt )

NB : I am a woman a good woman for that matter and so I think its unfair that u generalise that we are all bad, gold diggers, obtainers, etc. We have some really hard working women who are independent financially and never look up to a man for nothing.

You don't want to marry? fine, u advise men not to marry? Great! but abeg sofly dey yab us u hear? TNX in advance and I wish well.

Peace!

Lolzzz. noted hon. I'd try n let go of d hurt Bt I'm a new man nw. women don't feature in my world. muah...

nnafather:
No...how can? Just forget if u re not comfortable with that.

awww. hope I didn't hurt ur feelings. u can took to me on dis thread u knw

killjoy:
readers discretion adviced: this is a long post. get a bowl of popcorn and your glasses. turn off the TV , you don't want to get distracted. if it took me time to write such a lengthy post, I wonder why you should complain about reading it. below are the reasons.

1. We're too different to live together: women love people and relationships, men love objects (like cars, houses, gadgets, game consoles etc), a man's lot is his career, a woman's is marriage (according to the curse after the fall of man), women are indirect, men are always direct, men want sex before they develop feelings for women, women can't have sex without emotional attachment first(unless they r who.res, even if they are who.res lolzzz), a man wants to hv sex, a woman wants to make love (I swear she doesn't even mind just cuddling), men see having dinner as a time to quench hunger, women see having dinner as time for bonding, let me continue? A married man without money feels unfulfilled, a wealthy woman without a man feels similarly, I can go on and on! But no time, my point, you need a lot of patience, tolerance, understanding, endurance, compromise etc to survive in marriage. But life is too short, stay single and be free to be urself or get married and spend the rest of your life struggling to be another person. Continue reading, this is just one of seven.

2. Love doesn't exist: if you intend to stake your future with a woman on an emotion as erratic as love, then you need to have ur head examined. Love is an emotional convulsion which, like other sicknesses, are recovered from with time. Experience has thought me that a woman's love is only skin deep, but you can accentuate it with money. Ohhhh how women react to the smell of cash. Bleep love and go make some muller.

3. You don't need a child: the world will remember you by the kids you left behind. That's a big fat lie!! You don't need a carbon copy of yourself roaming the earth after your demise to ensure your immortality. Instead, the world will remember you by the feats you surmounted! Obama will be remembered not as the father of, I don't even know his child's name and I don't give a fvck bout it! But as the first black US President. Mother Theresa never had a child, Einstein's legacy is not his kids but his discoveries. My point! You are not remembered by the kids you had but the records you set. But if you badly want a kid, adopt one, or get a baby mama and impregnate her but never, never get married just to have kids. marriage is too great a price to pay.

4. There is absolutely nothing new marriage has to offer you: just be honest with yourself. A family? You already belong to one (or do you think you just appeared out of thin air?), love? Your mother loves you like die, trust moi. A woman to manage your home? Get a maid! pay her well and she will manage your home without complications like disrespecting you, PMS, etc. Sex? Gone are the days men marry for sex ooo!!! Sex is damn cheap, you don't need marriage to enjoy it. By the way, what makes you think getting married entitles you to sex when you want it, ie, if at all?? U never jam female Hitler. Continue reading, I'm not even close to the end.

5. Marriage is expensive: a woman's problems end when she gets married (at least on financial level), while a man's problems just begin. Most ladies don't have plans of making money(some stop after getting married). for a woman, after graduating from uni, a husband is top on d list above a job ie, if a job is on the list. Guys, stay alone and worry for one. Apart from financially, marriage drains you emotionally. You have to deal with a partner suffering from PMS five days in a month for life (by the time she reaches menopause, you'd be probably dead) and when she ain't suffering PMS, its worse cos she is pregnant!! Don't forget regular mood swings, test games, among other complicated female emotional ailments. Plus wait till you get divorced before you know how much financially and emotionally expensive marriage could be. That brings us to...

6. It may end up in divorce: possible causes of divorce. She gains weight, sex with one person for years gone stale and boring, the love (or whatever dumb ass name you call it) fades, you want a new woman, (men are polygamous by nature, hard truth. Deal with it), she is no longer the woman you married, (true, women do change after marriage for many reasons, that is story for another day), you cheat on her, she cheats on you, many many more. Don't scar yourself with a painful divorce. Stay single and happy.

7. You get to focus on your dreams without distractions. Like I said earlier, a man's career is his lot (or curse). As s man if you haven't got a successful career, you will probably die unhappy and unproductive. The compromise you have to make to keep her happy will retard you from achieving your dreams to the fullest. Pleasing a woman and pursuing your dreams are mutually exclusive. don't get married.

disclaimer: its ironic when people say honesty is a virtue yet can't bear to hear (or read) the truth.

nota bene: I am not prejudiced towards women. I hate all equally.

My dear u are hugely on point. Any person that doubted this statement of fact, just dey deceive himself joor. But my brother we can't run away from it becuz of the negative side of it.

ferdimako:
So anybody without a wife is gay? Even ur sis runs fast to marry a rich bastard...well none is called that when the kid is with d man or d man shows to show concern.

ko kanye
doro ama kip fwckin puc1.
#bigd1ck fwck puc1.
Ama marry ur sis& ama giv her belle

austine4real:
ko kanye
doro ama kip fwckin puc1.
#bigd1ck fwck puc1.
Ama marry ur sis& ama giv her belle

I don't understand Yoruba very well. Lemme get d APP..yaba yaba

stanmorry:
My dear u are hugely on point. Any person that doubted this statement of fact, just dey deceive himself joor. But my brother we can't run away from it becuz of the negative side of it.

But u just read d negatives. Try make money and know there is no love from a woman. Na ur cash...even when they make more than u..unless when u a dead u see her using her cash.

ferdiii:
I don't understand Yoruba very well. Lemme get d APP..yaba yaba

ok u'r stayin @ yaba left i wll com& check u

ferdiii:
Married pple come begging unmarried ones and we help them. They are in trouble!

Help them with what exactly?

More naive advice?

That a married person will even come to meet an unmarried person for marital advice clearly indicates that the guy has his priorities misplaced. A serious married person will never approach an unmarried person for serious advice. Talk about a one eyed man asking a blind person to describe a color.

ILIDEFI:
Thank God for your life. Can't say sex is like a child's play to me now, cos I passionately look forward to it, in marriage. But one thing is clear, that God has been my source of strength and discipline. Yet to taste the pudding, as I'm saving it for marriage.

Lolz

killjoy:
as a matter of fact, d good tins marriage has to offer to a man r tins he can enjoy while still single. wot I withheld r more downsides to marriage. my parents r separated n seem happier that way. my friends Dada died of heart attack caused by his wife, look marriage shud be a no go area for a man who intends to live eida happy or long or both.

your case may not be that of another. my grandma used to tell me tales of her love"my grandpa", how they met accidentally and that he was the best thing that happened to her. similarly my grandpa confessed at my very before that without his wife at his side he would not have reached d ripe age of 119. so my dear dont allow your parent's case to astain you from the joy of marriage. for me, you might be going through some psycological stuffs cos of these cases you hinted.

blackdiamond1:
Hi OP,
I'm not advisingu to get married or fall in love or anythinglike that. I mean y would u do something u hate so much?

But from ur post and responses it seems u are angry and bitter abt some heartbreak from a lady u dated for 2 yrs( I may be wrong tho). She has taken those 2 years from you, don't let her make u miserablle for life. Don't make one singe human being have such effect on u, no body is worth it.
You really can't tell what future pain God was preserving you from and made her leave. What if she stayed and married u and made ur life hell. I mean if she leaves u and u know ur worth, its her loss. Yes u spent money, you can make much more. You gave her 2 yrs of ur life, u have ur whole life ahead of u, u loved her, u can love another(yes u can if u let go of that hurt )

NB : I am a woman a good woman for that matter and so I think its unfair that u generalise that we are all bad, gold diggers, obtainers, etc. We have some really hard working women who are independent financially and never look up to a man for nothing.

You don't want to marry? fine, u advise men not to marry? Great! but abeg sofly dey yab us u hear? TNX in advance and I wish well.

Peace!

Well said

eminentme:
u no lie, d females are GREAT source of distraction and retardation to men

If women are don't ever go near one for sex... Nonsense!

ufemia23:
If women are don't ever go near one for sex... Nonsense!

y u harshing because he spoke his mind

ufemia23:
If women are don't ever go near one for sex... Nonsense!

killjoy:
my view isn't biased but based on experience hence in touch with reality. if u don't believe single men hv as much fun as married men, tell me what they r missing.

The only thing that married people enjoy in most marriages these days is just the prestige of being "MARRIED" in quote and be regarded as "MR" or "MRS", nothing more. That is not to say that there are no more marriages made in heaven ooo, my point is this, marriages made in heaven are rare. I am talking from experience.

The woman behind a successful man is his mother, not some stranger who comes into his life to bear MRS. Ladies should stop deluding themselves.

hi op, u made nice points.both men n women must nt get married.if u feel u cant cope with it, den u remain single.note: am married with a kid n i know how hubby struggles to make sure we re comfortable n as a matter fact, recently no babe wants to marry a man who wont make her comfortable.according to ma roomate bck den in skul "am nt ready to suffer with any man".however, my point is if u cant deal with all dese as a man, den u do as op has suggested.his points aint bad at all.

preetygina:
hi op, u made nice points.both men n women must nt get married.if u feel u cant cope with it, den u remain single.note: am married with a kid n i know how hubby struggles to make sure we re comfortable n as a matter fact, recently no babe wants to marry a man who wont make her comfortable.according to ma roomate bck den in skul "am nt ready to suffer with any man".however, my point is if u cant deal with all dese as a man, den u do as op has suggested.his points aint bad at all.

thank u!

preetygina:
hi op, u made nice points.both men n women must nt get married.if u feel u cant cope with it, den u remain single.note: am married with a kid n i know how hubby struggles to make sure we re comfortable n as a matter fact, recently no babe wants to marry a man who wont make her comfortable.according to ma roomate bck den in skul "am nt ready to suffer with any man". however, my point is if u cant deal with all dese as a man, den u do as op has suggested.his points aint bad at all.

This your post just further proves that women are greedy human beings. Thank God this is comin from a lady.

Skmoda360:
same as me, i'll love her till i grow old.

Cool. Good to know. Positive affirmations are a good thing.
It would fare you better though to find a woman who internalizes this concept towards you than the other way around when marriage beckons, and not just "says it" to avoid impending disaster. Women live via emotions, as Men do logic. I do not doubt u meant everything you just said as 'saying it' for you means you believe this to the depths of your mind atm- Logic, but such things are only fleeting for a woman. They defer to their Emotions hence she may say one thing now and truly mean it, and the next deny she ever said such, ie her 'mood/feelings' changed, and she along with them so she may never even remember she had said such leaving u astounded and confused at her behavior. It may sound like I'm generalizing here, but these facts are true across the board. My advice to you, and every other young man for that matter is to study and learn as much as u can about the female folk(and I don't mean from Disney or High School movies) before jumping to life-time commitments, or in the short term, making statements like this ^^^.

Secondly, its time past when 1st time experimental marriage sex was considered "cute". Your woman wants an experienced man bedding her on her wedding nite, not some fumbling clueless novice that keeps poking at her nether regions with his tool trying to discover the 'gates' he's heard and read so much about and keeps asking her "is it there yet, have you/did you cvm?"

as years go by n maturity sets in,most of d people commenting on this thread will change their tune in favor of marriage.at some point u will get tired of waking up with different faces, hanging out with different people.u start craving for some kind of stability, even ur so called success becomes meaningless cos there's no one to share it with.believe me @some point in ur life loneliness creeps in.u become wat d ibos will term" ono na igwe enwe mmadu"(meaning u are in d midst of a crowd but there's non to call ur own)marry if u like, don't marry if u like but I bet u by d time u turn 60 u will be wishing u did get married. if people like George Clonney can finally figure out that bachelorhood sucks I think there's still hope for most of u.
am a woman n this is what I tell most of my female friends:ur man's success is not sexually transmitted hustle to make ur own money cos u will be better off that way.OP not all women are a burden

princefunmi:
Help them with what exactly?

More naive advice?

That a married person will even come to meet an unmarried person for marital advice clearly indicates that the guy has his priorities misplaced. A serious married person will never approach an unmarried person for serious advice. Talk about a one eyed man asking a blind person to describe a color.

with cash and teach their kids...marriage advice ki...i tot no quarrels... why advice? read prettygina comments.

preetygina:
hi op, u made nice points.both men n women must nt get married.if u feel u cant cope with it, den u remain single.note: am married with a kid n i know how hubby struggles to make sure we re comfortable n as a matter fact, recently no babe wants to marry a man who wont make her comfortable.according to ma roomate bck den in skul "am nt ready to suffer with any man".however, my point is if u cant deal with all dese as a man, den u do as op has suggested.his points aint bad at all.

great talk...they bring nothing and expect everything...that is women's definition of marriage. I hope this clears it...those guys looking for suicide u have one way. Those ladies in denials...haha...try disprove.

killjoy:
d reason men shudnt marry is dat marriage is overrated n we can do just fine, if nt even better without it. simple n short

And who said women r d ones forcing u guys into marriage? I wonder why u guys go into relationship then having such notion. In simple and short words, men with such believe about marriage sounds pained.

ferdiii:
Story...no be who dey alive..go thank u?

lolz...... I hear u

Really?

Emaprince:
truth is that women in general makes it seem as if their lives depends on marriage only to get married and become a headache to the man...any woman claiming other wise is just pretending!..that's why a lot of them hate to hear men saying NO to marriage...even the femenists themselves dream of getting married all day!..

@OP
I must commend you and confess you made a lot of good points in your write up..
Honestly,if not for the sake of having kids,I don't even see the need for marriage!..apostle paul wrote(I won't qoute it correctly o) that if you can be able to abstain from fornication,you are better off unmarried than men who are married..this is in the bible o!..so it tells a lot..

I can't tell if my parents had probs cos I never witnessed any ..unless maybe they hid it from us but my mom was a good christain though...
In real life,I've seen men who went from hero to zero after getting married..an uncle(my pop's younger bros) was destroyed by the woman he called wife..they had three kids and the man divorced her after almost seeing his own grave..I can tell more stories but that won't be necessary now...

Personally,I've never had any bad experience in the hands of women maybe cos I'm not a woman freak too..I've dated only one woman in my life..distance parted us and since then,I've been celibate and chasing my money..I'm happy with the result!

Not married o!..but honestly,I'm scared of it!!..especially going by what I see in this site everyday..I mean wives who becomes rich and start misbehaving,woman buying properties with her maiden name,women sleeping around and getting pregnant for another man while husband thinks the kids are his(smh),..if I add thhis together with what I'm seeing in lagos..I resent marraige the more!

No doubt, most women are a pain in d neck, bt d same way u men complain of tis issue is d same way most ladies r feeling because obviously, most men too are guilty of being a burden in marriage...the truth b told.
So, whose fault is it really in marriage then if both parties throw d blames on themselves?

Segirl18:
No doubt, most women are a pain in d neck, bt d same way u men complain of tis issue is d same way most ladies r feeling because obviously, most men too are guilty of being a burden in marriage...the truth b told.
So, whose fault is it really in marriage then if both parties throw d blames on themselves?

We just said we don't want any more and we are happy. And you still don't know the party?