₦airaland Forum

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From what you wrote above, yes, u Ma'am don't understand the true meaning of submission and also maybe partly based on you past experience. I am Married and i submit to my truly loving husband, however me being in submission does not require all those you listed above.

tolutara:
^^^^^^^^^^

From what you wrote above, yes, u Ma'am don't understand the true meaning of submission and also maybe partly based on you past experience. I am Married and i submit to my truly loving husband, however me being in submission those not require all those you listed above.

Exactly

GL:
as for the question on why the resistance to submission, i'd say it's because times have changed a great deal and some traditional ideas about submission have become impractical, yet people still hold on to them.

nowadays girls are raised as equal to boys, even more pampered in some families. they are encouraged to excel academically, and otherwise, and are increasingly outperforming guys. parents and teachers spend 20+ years pushing girls to be the best, to learn to stand their ground, to fight their way through to the top. the main focus of young girls' lives is expected to be academic excellence, and a successful career afterwards.

yet, it is expected that they would one day get married and all of a sudden start playing second fiddle. after all the time and resources spent on ensuring that she attains competence and independence, it's understandable that a woman would be dissatisfied with an arrangement that has her will constantly being bent to another's.

Words of a cetified feminist

^^Tell dem,make dem hear. .He who has ears 2 hear,let him hear.

tolutara:
^^^^^^^^^^

From what you wrote above, yes, u Ma'am don't understand the true meaning of submission and also maybe partly based on you past experience. I am Married and i submit to my truly loving husband, however me being in submission does not require all those you listed above.

you're married and i can't argue with your experience, so maybe i really don't know what submission truly means. afterall i've not had any personal experience as yet. but i've been hearing the word "submission" long enough to know people generally mean different things when they speak about it. obviously, some have more positive meanings and for others it's quite negative. i have some married friends (still in their 20s) who live under all sorts of restrictions, and they justify everything their husbands put them through with "submission". however, i'm not anti-submission. i'm simply against the kind of submission that strips a woman of her will and individuality.  

of course, i know that there are many women for whom submission is not a burden. odd thing though, is that most of the girls who i think are victims of "submission" always justify things, and tell stories of other women who have it worse. maybe marriage somehow changes a woman's expectations and perceptions. well, i can only hope when i personally experience submission in marriage, i would see it in an absolutely positive light.

@ jennykadry,

u say "feminist" like it's an accusation; i don't see myself as one, i don't care for the whole political movement but i'm very concerned about my happiness and rights and all that. i'm sure that even u would agree that women were so much more submissive in the past and that it's impractical to expect such from today's woman. so maybe it's not so much me, as the society and the way girls are raised that is feministic.


@ chaircover,

i understand your point, and like i said b4, i'm all for submission. i'm quite a submissive person naturally. i generally have no problem with leaders or following rules, and i'm all for the husband being in charge. just that there should be enough room for self-expression and individuality for the woman. i'm all for being answerable to the husband as long as i'm allowed some autonomy.

i know women don't have to surrender to abusive relationships, still i worry about it because i know several young girls who are enduring some form of abuse so early in life. many won't even agree that they are being abused until things get too bad, and the ones that agree keep making excuses, like they'll win the guys over eventually. of course God can do anything, but what happened to self-preservation? even more worrisome is that just about all these friends were really strong willed girls (and they still are in matters outside their marriages).

Some women sef! I guess they are the ones screwing their husbands at night, riding him till they 'come'. Okay o, but the moment a woman shows she doesn't understand what submission is all about, I build another house for her and allow her to rule from there. We only meet to say 'hi'at our kids birthdays and other social functions.

^^^^^^^ Nawa o,

^^^^ No be small thing o!

Only those WOR-WOR, MGBEKE 'Goshen' babes desperados to catch and stay with man at all costs can be bothered with the 'submitting' drivel! Any which way you choose to 'slice' or 'dice' it. . . .the word 'submit' is an offensive term in healthy marriages. . . unless CHRISLAMIC SLAVE TRADE MARRIAGES BY FORCE!

Submission is the willingness to submitting to authority.
The elites and or financially stable ladies are the ones who finds it difficult to submitting to their husbands because they can live comfortably without a man.
The good point is that their husbands has no option than to cheat on them

mutter:
@jennykadry
if my husband leaves me today, who knows? I probably would be better off financially, because his extended family would fall out of the picture.
You just seem to be looking at a minor percentage of women who are able to fend for themselves. You are not looking at the vast majority of women.
YES if I could not give my kids what they need to make it in life, I would stay with the man no matter how bad he treated me. I would stay with the man to make sure my kids get a better chance in life.
That sacrifice I expect every mother to make.

This is years from this post... So u wud rather be everyone's donkey then? Even financially capable enough,will you not crave for emotional attention? I thought you would say you wud die begging the donkey owner?

Sinachee:
Only those WOR-WOR, MGBEKE 'Goshen' babes desperados to catch and stay with man at all costs can be bothered with the 'submitting' drivel! Any which way you choose to 'slice' or 'dice' it. . . .the word 'submit' is an offensive term in healthy marriages. . . unless CHRISLAMIC SLAVE TRADE MARRIAGES BY FORCE!

Submission in marriage is also an insult or curse in Christianity, so?

slimmingcare:
Submission is the willingness to submitting to authority.
The elites and or financially stable ladies are the ones who finds it difficult to submitting to their husbands because they can live comfortably without a man.
The good point is that their husbands has no option than to cheat on them

Story, how many men don't cheat on their wives. Delusional.

mutter:
I am really kind of spoilt and like to get my own way, that`s why I submit to my husband totally.
Submission is the most powerful weapon a woman has against a man.
Submission more or less means, "his will be done", "his wish is my command".
Very simple just get your wish and will to be that of your husband and it will be done.
How easy it is to get a man to do what you want, when you let him take all the decisions.
When you show a man love and respect, he would always try to please you.
I can get anything from my husband. I know how to ask, when and how long I have to ask.
If need be I go down on my knees and beg.
I never do anything without his approval and permission, I never say no to his wish.
When you have a good husband that is no problem at all.
My husband is like my father, mother, brother, sister, best friend, lover, all in one.
A part of me. The only person on earth that takes a decision and I trust fully that it is my best interest.
I not only submit to him, I virtually worship him, if it is allowed to use this word for a human.
He is my pride, my dignity, my hold and my comfort.
In the past he has taken some decisions, that were different from my wishes, but they always turned out to be the right ones.
In the past he sometimes gave me the go ahead but advised me it was a wrong move, I still went on with it, only to realise he was right.
then I have to go back to him to sort out the mess, even if it is only lending a consoling ear.
Now when he starts with his, you can , but I don`t think it would work out.
I just drop the idea immediately. Because he would be right in the end and he is the one to iron out the mistake for me or together with me.
I think another aspect of submission is being able to prevent disagreements, quarrels and heated arguments.
the easiest way to do this, is with simple words like sorry and please forgive me. It works wonders.
We have never had a serious problem in our marriage because we both know how to make use of those words.
Later when the heat is over one can talk rationally about the situation

You get brain

Your marriage is how many years?

Nwaka77:
You have said it all. I read something similar in a pamphlet that came with my booklet "Daily Bread". It also said that submission as the bible notates does not mean that one person lords over the other.


@Poster
What many don't understand is that submission comes naturally to a woman when you treat her with love and respect. Is that not why the bible commanded men to love their wife like Christ loved the church? Do most naija men really understand what it means to love another person like Christ loved the church? It means unconditional love. What I see in most Naija marraiges is conditional love. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church, you will not sit there and watch your family members rain abuses on your wife for whatever reason. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church, you will not marry a second wife all because the first wife could not bear you a son or children. If you love your wife like Christ love the church, you will not be running after university girls and committing adultry all over the place putting yourself and your spouse at risk of catching an STD. If you love your wife like Christ loved the church you will not act like a brute showing little love, affection, respect, or consideration for your wife. If you love your wife like Christ loved the church you will not come on an online forum and bad mouth and bash your wife to strangers you probably will never meet in real life rather than going to her and trying to talk things over and sort out your differences. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church you will not come home after a hard days work and just sit down and stretch your legs while your wife who also works full time outside the home and contributes to the bills slaves away in the kitchen. You will get up and help out any little way you can so she does not get burnt out. If you love your wife like Christ loves the church you will learn to show appreciation through words and actions every so often even if its a peck on your wife's cheek followed by the words "Honey appreciate you. Thank you for all you do." That is what motivates women to please you or as you prefer to call it, submit. I have no problem submitting to hubby because the man is too good and takes that command of loving me like Christ loves the church seriously.

Unfortunately, from what I have observed, the average naija man can care less. You want submission yet you people are constantly on a bashing tirade of the women. I have never experienced so much HATE for women like I have seen on this forum. What have I not read? "Women are necessary evil", "women cannot be trusted", "should I put my will in my toddler son's name?", and the women bashing threads are endless. With that kind of a mind set, I doubt you will be able to show love to your wife like Christ commanded you to. Most of you naija males convince yourself that it is not a good thing to show love and affection to women because in your little minds, you are convinced that a woman will walk all over you if you do. Women are wired to crave affection like men crave S3X. So if you act like an aggressive jungle monkey towards your wife, where will she find it in her heart to submit to you? Don't you know that loving your wife selflessly as Christ commanded and your wife submitting to you go hand in hand?

So here is my stance, the day you males learn to genuinely love your wives [b]un[/b]conditionaly like Christ loves the church will be the day you will no longer have to worry about whether a lady will submit to you. You see how the poster Mutter talked fondly of her husband? Well, do you think if her husband treated her like crap and showed her no love, affection or respect she will be come online and speak so fondly of him? I don't think so. Once you people have learnt to treat women with love and respect (something naija society/culture does not seem to encourage), then you can come back and talk about submission. Chikena!

Good write-up!!! You try but don't you know doing your part also can make the man to change is mind?

You see, This is where marrying a loser comes in , if you end up with a loser  issues like these will definitely arise

@Topic

Being submissive does not mean you can't voice out your opinion when the need arises, you have a say of you own as well. But staying behind a man and letting him know that he is incharge not minding our income helps a man feel worthy of his position as the head of the house.

Men are babies, you have got to treat them as such with care, respect their views and pamper them silly. When I want to go ahead and handle some project by myself I'd always seek his opinion first, men always feel threatenend if their wives does not share their views with them.

If he says no, he does not want me to do it then I just sit my backside down no stress, I am not even interested in sorting out any gender issues, infact he knows that I rely on him for a lot of things especially the difficult things like, checking out why the the TV connection isnt working, stuffs that has got to do with electricities e.t.c , sometimes he even jokes about it and tells me that I dont wanna die but want him to thats why i never deal with some electricity issues It is just a feeling of being the much weaker vessel.

Whenever he travels I feel so completely alone, whenever he is around me I feel safe and I know that there is someone God has set aside to protect me. My rock he is, I stand on that rock without fear of falling off cos I know he wouldnt let hurt come to me, my husband is the pillar(after God) I hold onto , he is the pillar of my home, the pillar that keeps me standing without falling off, the pillar I hold onto in times of mourning, sadness, sorrow, happiness and joy

GOD specifically created the shoulders of men for we women to lean on and cry on, His shoulder is created to be tough and I just go there when I know i cant go any further, it does not mean I cant tell my husband what to do, all I do is stand behind him and show him the right place to go to, whilst being in charge at the same time.

I can only teach my kids what life is all about from my feminine perspective but my husband is there to show my boys how to become strong men and tell my daughters what to expect from men when they grow up

My life would be a misery if I did  not have such a man beside me, and I have no problem with being submissive 24/7, 365 days 52 weeks

Some men rock

I am learning. you've been married for how ;many years now?

mutter:
well if a woman leaves her husband because he is harsh and goes out into the world without being able to cope, she has got a real problem. In a bid to fend for herself and the kids she  might be forced to swallow allot of humiliation from people outside, even have to sell herself. So better  stay in the marriage.
You need to know your own situation might not be similar to many other women.
My husband knows I  a very strong personality with allot of drive so all the more he appreciates my submission towards him.
Have you ever heard of  being diplomatic. If you practice it at work why not at home. 
Do you think because a man married you, it gives you a right to speak and act without control or consideration.
A man is the head of the home.
There is no compromising that. As the head he has to make or sanction all decisions.
If you cannot submit to this you are weak and lack discipline.
Anarchy, chaos and disorder do not require any special qualities

Babe!!! God bless you, is like u see my mind.Gk
Of bless you madam

Outstrip:
What does diplomacy have to do with having a brain. The reason why the so called women you are saying have "harsh" husbands are forced to suffer is because of advice like yours. If they had their own individual things going then they would not have to wait for a man to be there for them to survive. Any sensible person who reads half of what you write should have no faith in you. Talking about because a man decided to marry me then , Are you even aware that you are a human being. Maybe your husband has not told you yet so until then that is debatable. What nonsense. I should bring my husband here to read this drivel. There are some people we know that are just like you. My moms bestfriends mother raised them on her own after her husband left them for an educated woman. She did not sell herself. She worked with her hands and somehow managed. All her children are educated and she did not humiliate herslef by hanging on to a man's balls that did not think she was good enough.
My husband married me as I married him. Nobody forced me and I was not looking for someone to pay my bills. I was looking for a life partner not someone to validate me because I cooked a piping hot pot of pepper soup and told him how he was lord of all he surveyed. I know very many women like you who are single today and still lying to themselves. You have not the slightest idea wht submission in marriage is. You are just simply hoping that if you do not act too smart he will keep feeling the need to protect you from the big bad evil world out there that is so bad for a woman to help herself SMH

Pls to you "what is submission?

Paramount01:
Pls to you "what is submission?

And to you, what is submission?