eph12:

you guys are getting me wrong o.. you don't have to love someone to have sexual urge for that person. shikena

True that. There's a reason we have the word "lust".

olami100:


Yeah dey are not related! But can u love a gal and not want any sexual intimacy wif her

that you want to have sex with a girl doesn't mean you love her.

I beg broda, lemme ask my daddy

UjSizzle:

Comprehension

I tell ya.

@Poster,

It's relatively possible depending on what the main interest is in the relationship. What we often call love might exist due to personal interest(this you may call decision) and when such interest is not in tandem with sex then the desire will only flash once in a while. Additionally, the physical or emotional closeness of both parties can equally factor out or in the desire or urge to have sex. So, on one hand it is possible not to "have" the desire especially if sex has been ruled out by both parties from the beginning and on the other hand, it is not possible due to our sinful nature that the slightest desire or urge to have sex won't come up if you are seeing each other in compromised places.

UjSizzle:

True that. There's a reason we have the word "lust".

finally someone understands me! thanks

abi she go dey happy cef, say i dey respect her virginity, till we marry.

abi she go dey happy cef, say i dey respect her virginity, till we marry. Wetin D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ worry virginity??

adedayourt:



Seriously, You gotta be kidding!!!!

Mayb u talking bout d love u av for ur sis nd mother.


But to d lady u call potential wife?
Feelings gonna mark present.

But Grace nd Determination wud see u tru.
















Love of kungi is the dwnfall of.....

what about you see a lady down the street with big bo.obs and nyash and you be like wow i wanna hit that.. i guess that's love speaking

babeflenz:
abi she go dey happy cef, say i dey respect her virginity, till we marry.

are u not supposed to be a female?

izaray:
@Poster, dnt let any body deceive u, cos many people have been into a relationship,

dat involves sex, and still end up getting married.

Your prayers should be, God should lead to d right person!

Tho, some guys can still love u and do witout sex o,

but is very rear to get in dis century

gbam, u said it all..

Some people go just cum here dey talk nonsense
Nairaland need to do brain n lieing test for some people ooo
If not dis site go just crash soonest

koolg:
Many hypocrites with useless philosophies here. How will u love someone and then you don't have the desire to be intimate with that person



HOW?

Lol maybe it isn't that kind of love

It's not a desirable state though. I really can't imagine being with someone I'm not sexually attracted to.

eph12:

that you want to have sex with a girl doesn't mean you love her.

Accepted!

eph12:

what about you see a lady down the street with big bo.obs and nyash and you be like wow i wanna hit that.. i guess that's love speaking

That is kugi preparing to rest u in peace



She migth jus be one of dos dat wud wake in d middle of d nite nd strt staring @ u while u sleep

awa:
@Poster,

It's relatively possible depending on what the main interest is in the relationship. What we often call love might exist due to personal interest(this you may call decision) and when such interest is not in tandem with sex then the desire will only flash once in a while. Additionally, the physical or emotional closeness of both parties can equally factor out or in the desire or urge to have sex. So, on one hand it is possible not to "have" the desire especially if sex has been ruled out by both parties from the beginning and on the other hand, it is not possible due to our sinful nature that the slightest desire or urge to have sex won't come up if you are seeing each other in compromised places.

Hmmm this makes a whole lot of sense.

Qualifying sexual urge to mean love, when the urge is the only reason you actually feel something for said person.

But the other half of your post though So if two people rule out sex, it still shouldn't mean the desire dies off. It may not be the primary focus of your relationship, but the thought of it (whenever it does come) shouldn't be repulsive. I think that's what the op meant when she asked if it were possible to love someone, yet not desire them.

temigracie:
...hanhan!!!....


What will now give the love fire, as in real FAYA??.....


..liking someone already, you start having some silly thoughts...Talkless of loving someone.....

True talk

Its not possible

I hope our ladies will tend to understand this, guys tend to tolerate the sexual ground/view of the gal they have plans to marry while and average guy dates a gal for sex. The gal u date is quite different from the one u have plans to marry. Though,bthe guy ll b ready to spend for both of these gals

oracle009:
u ar quite onpoint! Itz NORMAL nd EXPECTED to av a sexual urge towards ur gf/bf/fiance/fiancee xcept u r impotent. Bt it nw dpend on d priorities uv set. E.g. My fiance nd I promised no sex til mariage, yet, d day she visitd my family nd slept overnite wt me, d urge was so intense for both of us. We just knew ds isnt wat we planned. We stopped! Nd evryone slept to continue wateva in drimland. So, d urge is scriptural nd biological, bt puttin it under control is a CHOICE

Wisdom is profitable to direct. Wisdom demands that we do not play with fire because we're presumptuous of not getting hurt. Desist from compromising situations (close door location or romantic advances etc) that can trigger fire (the urge) we might not be able to quench on time.

sometimes what we term as love is lust in a hamper. Some guys just wanna tap it and clean mouth. So analyze that ish properly.

You can't express erotic love without having the urge to make it. There is nothing Agape about the kind of love that brings a man and woman together.

verry possible

bidexmat:
bosun11, If I should give u a constructive answer, u won't be able to take it so beta I make it sound or look mild by making a funny buh true joke out of it. Ur question is glaringly a rhetorical question. N pls u dn't need that question u asked me above. That's demeaning and very rude sire. Bosun ti o je ni o. Ose

i knew this man wont take it lightly...na joke sha....anyway have a nice day.....

Having a desire is diff from having sex it self if you love some1 you may hv d desire of sex bt because you value d love more dan d sex you can discipline ursef until ur weeding nit.

faithugo64:
most ladies believe that a guy who loves you would never want to sleep with you untill he marries you.so here is my question

is it possible to love someone and not have the DESIRE to kiss,hug or have sex with him/her?

Please i don't mean having sex with the person,i mean is it possible not to have the DESIRE(wanting) to be intimate with that person.

NOTE: HERE AM NOT TALKING ABOUT AGAPE LOVE O!!!

Yes nah. I don experience am. No matter how short her clothes were, I never felt like touching her but she was always hugging me, slapping me and patting my laps..

@ OP..

It's natural to have this desire to wanna express your feelings to your partner be it kissing, hugging, touching or even getting into the act..

Lets be sincere for once and try to understand the question the Op asked..
There's no way u won't have a desire to express physically except your desire has been overridden by a powerful belief or emotion with Its root from religion, mode of upbringing or education, social psychology etc.
Even with that, the desire still rear up its beautiful head once in a while..

ocheu:

Secondly, she will understand how much u love her and also she will believe that u have control over yourself.

Does he? Even when he gets it elsewhere?

austelright:
despite her decision i was having it elsewhere because i love sex, i only agree to it because i don't want to loose her.

Hypocrites everywhere on nairaland!

How can you claim you love someone(opposite sex and not family) and not feel sexual urge for that individual? Impossible!

For those claiming holier than Jesus saying till after marriage, where will the sexual urge come from after marriage when it was not there before marriage?

@OP,

Sexual urge is a major requirement for being in love in humans of opposite gender. In fact, for ladies,in most cases, it is ultimate show of love for them.

A good number of people mistake good se.x as love.

But left for me, if ur searching for true love don't have sex just yet cos if u do, you get attached and you'll feel you're in love whereas na LUST dey carry you forward.

As for me I no I love a girl wen I dont have sexual feelingx for ha...not la I dot feel like dowie it...buh cherishs ha.to wait when till shes ready

100Cents:


Yes nah. I don experience am. No matter how short her clothes were, I never felt like touching her but she was always hugging me, slapping me and patting my laps..

Tell me u couldn't read those signs!

You must be one of the guys who gets turn on with short skirts! I gotcha!!!