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Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by tonididdy(m): 10:54pm On Dec 21, 2014
Princecharmin:
is d fish whose brain u borrowed aware of how u'r misusing it?.....thunder fire u n dat book
































































































ode buruku
grin is d fish whose brain u borrowed aware of how u'r misusing it?.....thunder fire u n dat book
































































































ode buruku
space waste.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Williamso(m): 10:56pm On Dec 21, 2014
Penboy:
lolz... Now, this got me laughing.

grin grin
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by sebali: 10:57pm On Dec 21, 2014
gospi:
Between,WHERE DO PEOplE GET DIS lAdies LIkE bAD GUYS POO FROM? SO MIsLEADING
NO NORMal LADY LIKES A BAD GUY!

Gals dnt do it on purpose it was difficult 4 dem to go against their default mode

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by 2ndking: 10:57pm On Dec 21, 2014
Bimffo:
The reality is Ladies hate Nice guys..

I am not saying you should stop been nice, but if ur Nice level is on 80%, reduce it to 10% and see how it works..

Check out this moniker on Nairaland.. "CharlesNneji1" and get his books or E-books.. Mehn, it will help you alot.. You will be catching all those babes like Fish.. grin and they will swam around you like flies..

PS: Ladies will always be Ladies..
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Sunshinelady(f): 11:08pm On Dec 21, 2014
youngice:
its the other way round , she begins to hate me,
. Lmao, ur honesty is so kool. Mayb u havnt met a 'nice grl'. Wen u do u wuld be surprised @ how u ppl will flow. I tink there are fewer nice ppl in d world, so u hav to be patient, kip being urself (if u r sure u r truly nice), u will meet d right person
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by MizMyColi(f): 11:10pm On Dec 21, 2014
youngice:

Thanks , I tried pretending but it only got worse
BTW its youngice

No Hun, Nooo sad

You shouldn't pretend. You shouldn't.

I've been in your shoes too, and that's why I can relate with how it feels for you.

Our world as we know it is so used to people having manipulative tendencies, having a motive for being nice and just plain wickedness. So it beats the imagination of most people when a person is so nice.....without any string attached really. They'd label you a hypocrite.

But then, I understand that in this world.....there are certain kinds of people who are just that way. They are models of love. Burn them all you want, use them all you want......even if they decide to stop being nice (like they can anyway)......there's this feeling of discontent, this feeling of emptiness that they feel. The reason's simple --- they don't know how to be any less. cheesy cheesy

I take it you're in that category. I am too. But one problem I've had to and I'm still learning to overcome is that of insecurity. I think you should work on that too.

You need to embrace yourself fully......your gifts. It's not a cross, it's not a burden. You need to let your value for self and your worth emanate from within.

Finally, you need to guard your heart. You need to apply wisdom. Y'see, because loving's a default setting in you, you're prone to love and become attached to just about anything lovable and attachable, here's where you need to apply restraint and caution.

It's not a bad thing to think and fall in love carefully.

It's not a bad thing to be self aware and do your best to protect your heart from people who aren't worth it.

Ladies, at times can be mean .... I for one, even though I like to be shown affection and attention ..... I prefer when it's done in moderation. I expect my partner to be sensitive enough to know when it's time to just let things be --- and vice versa.

You just keep living and keep learning. With the right guidance and actions, I'm sure there'll be this lady who shares your values and loves just as much as you do, she might be on NL for all we know!! tongue tongue

cheesy I kid! I kid!
All the best wink

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by youngice(m): 11:15pm On Dec 21, 2014
MizMyColi:


No Hun, Nooo sad

You shouldn't pretend. You shouldn't.

I've been in your shoes too, and that's why I can relate with how it feels for you.

Our world as we know it is so used to people having manipulative tendencies, having a motive for being nice and just plain wickedness. So it beats the imagination of most people when a person is so nice.....without any string attached really. They'd label you a hypocrite.

But then, I understand that in this world.....there are certain kinds of people who are just that way. They are models of love. Burn them all you want, use them all you want......even if they decide to stop being nice (like they can anyway)......there's this feeling of discontent, this feeling of emptiness that they feel. The reason's simple --- they don't know how to be any less. cheesy cheesy

I take it you're in that category. I am too. But one problem I've had to and I'm still learning to overcome is that of insecurity. I think you should work on that too.

You need to embrace yourself fully......your gifts. It's not a cross, it's not a burden. You need to let your value for self and your worth emanate from within.

Finally, you need to guard your heart. You need to apply wisdom. Y'see, because loving's a default setting in you, you're prone to love and become attached to just about anything lovable and attachable, here's where you need to apply restraint and caution.

It's not a bad thing to think and fall in love carefully.

It's not a bad thing to be self aware and do your best to protect your heart from people who aren't worth it.

Ladies, at times can be mean .... I for one, even though I like to be shown affection and attention ..... I prefer when it's done in moderation. I expect my partner to be sensitive enough to know when it's time to just let things be --- and vice versa.

You just keep living and keep learning. With the right guidance and actions, I'm sure there'll be this lady who shares your values and loves just as much as you do, she might be on NL for all we know!! tongue tongue

cheesy I kid! I kid!
All the best wink
Thanks a million

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by RotrEmmanuel: 11:18pm On Dec 21, 2014
youngice:
I won't deceive my self I'm a nice guy to the core
I'm the kind of guy that holds the door open for a lady
I call her by 6:45 to be the first to start her day. I don't shout at her , I'm a nice guy but I'm not a pushover
I don't take shiit (what I considered shit might vary from what others considered shit)
But I have perennial bad luck with women ,looks can be deceiving , I have the looks a player and also my startup lines and catch phrases are straight out of the players manual,I tried to be a player but it never worked out for me
Maybe it because I'm the only guy among 3 girls and mom ensured and still ensures that I treat all women like queens ,im yet to meet a lady that hasn't given me her her number and I'm very picky but I've only had 2 successes in all my dating attempts, admittedly I'm quite young (very early 20's) , but in all the ladies I've woed I've observed a pattern it goes like this

week 1 everything perfect, she calls I call , lovey dovey shi, love is in the air

week 2 I really have no idea what always happens

subsequently she hates me,absolutely detest me, she doesn't reply pings, see's me and ignores me embarassed embarassed I'm beginning to wonder if I have a problem because the pattern is getting very annoying
PS
I'm in an 'all guys uni (FUTO) and I'm in my early 20's with a young fac
please relationship experts advise needed
Only mature comments

Niaraland love experts
CC
Mizmycoli (Nairaland love expert )
Kachisbarbie ( pretty Lady analyst
is like u have mouth odor! kai!

or how many times do u normally bath in a day? u think It's all about dashing ladies money In the name of mr nice guy abi
.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by IDEApro(m): 11:22pm On Dec 21, 2014
1. Woo a lady

2. Take her out on a date

3. Make yourself unavailable for as long as you want.
I. she calls and you promise to see her, don't go and give convincing reason
b. Give her surprise presents and don't yield to any of her request.
c.women are inquisitive in nature, don't be predictable.

4. bleep her after months of meeting her not within weeks.

5. continue the game of being unpredictable and she will naturally want to discover the real you. The more she try,the good she is obsessed and you see her displaying that weakness to be with you.

...a year later she will beg you to define the relationship because you are unpredictable.

Then tell her ''with the right attitude I will want to spend the rest of my life with you in the near future'' and you are guaranteed a steady bleep.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by lacedup(m): 11:48pm On Dec 21, 2014
Well...d only things nyc in dis lyf are mums...n most baes don't wanna date a mum.. lipsrsealed...#JusSaying
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 11:51pm On Dec 21, 2014
IDEApro:
1. Woo a lady

2. Take her out on a date

3. Make yourself unavailable for as long as you want.
I. she calls and you promise to see her, don't go and give convincing reason
b. Give her surprise presents and don't yield to any of her request.
c.women are inquisitive in nature, don't be predictable.

4. bleep her after months of meeting her not within weeks.

5. continue the game of being unpredictable and she will naturally want to discover the real you. The more she try,the good she is obsessed and you see her displaying that weakness to be with you.

...a year later she will beg you to define the relationship because you are unpredictable.

Then tell her ''with the right attitude I will want to spend the rest of my life with you in the near future'' and you are guaranteed a steady bleep.
you just nailed it bro!

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:02am On Dec 22, 2014
lacedup:
Well...d only things nyc in dis lyf are mums...n most baes don't wanna date a mum.. lipsrsealed...#JusSaying
I repeat, all those ladies hate nice guys are myths.

How many romance novels or chick flicks have the hero acting rude and badly to a lady?

Ladies keep reading romance novels and watching telemundo despite the guys acting soft and saying things like, MY LIFE WOULD HAVE ENDED IF NOT FOR YOU.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by dablazor: 12:04am On Dec 22, 2014
MizMyColi:


No Hun, Nooo sad


bn watching u, strange since am not following, i like you. smiley

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by lacedup(m): 12:07am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
I repeat, all those ladies hate nice guys are myths.

How many romance novels or chick flicks have the hero acting rude and badly to a lady?

Ladies keep reading romance novels and watching telemundo despite the guys acting soft and saying things like, MY LIFE WOULD HAVE ENDED IF NOT FOR YOU.

Never said nuffin bout romance bruv...girls lik dah shii...buh Deres a diff between romantic n being p*ss*.... everybody knows wah happens to p*ss*...need I say mor

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Youngtekkey(m): 12:15am On Dec 22, 2014
IDEApro:
1. Woo a lady
2. Take her out on a date
3. Make yourself unavailable for as long as you want.
I. she calls and you promise to see her, don't go and give convincing reason
b. Give her surprise presents and don't yield to any of her request.
c.women are inquisitive in nature, don't be predictable.
4. bleep her after months of meeting her not within weeks.
5. continue the game of being unpredictable and she will naturally want to discover the real you. The more she try,the good she is obsessed and you see her displaying that weakness to be with you.
...a year later she will beg you to define the relationship because you are unpredictable.
Then tell her ''with the right attitude I will want to spend the rest of my life with you in the near future'' and you are guaranteed a steady bleep.


Bad guy, see that's the thing oooo Bro, I have come to discover in recent times too that ladies hate Mr nice guys
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by lebesgue(m): 12:20am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
I repeat, all those ladies hate nice guys are myths.

How many romance novels or chick flicks have the hero acting rude and badly to a lady?

Ladies keep reading romance novels and watching telemundo despite the guys acting soft and saying things like, MY LIFE WOULD HAVE ENDED IF NOT FOR YOU.

My brother, thank you. The fact is these women do not truly like these men. If a woman truly likes you, she no go do shakara. Trust me, there is a guy that she eyeing and not doing shakara for.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:21am On Dec 22, 2014
lacedup:


Never said nuffin bout romance bruv...girls lik dah shii...buh Deres a diff between romantic n being p*ss*.... everybody knows wah happens to p*ss*...need I say mor
Being a nice guy does not mean the guy is a P***y.

It is a myth girls do not like nice guys. When we are talking about a nice guy, I am talking about someone who respects and treats his lady with care.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:23am On Dec 22, 2014
lebesgue:


My brother, thank you. The fact is these women do not truly like these men. If a woman truly likes you, she no go do shakara. Trust me, there is a guy that she eyeing and not doing shakara for.
If she leaves her man for a guy that she is not doing shakara for, sooner or later, she will be eyeing another one. She will say, this my guy does not show me love like this new guy.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by lebesgue(m): 12:26am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
If she leaves her man for a guy that she is not doing shakara for, sooner or later, she will be eyeing another one. She will say, this my guy does not show me love like this new guy.

So where will one find a woman that is not like this?
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:30am On Dec 22, 2014
lebesgue:


My brother, thank you. The fact is these women do not truly like these men. If a woman truly likes you, she no go do shakara. Trust me, there is a guy that she eyeing and not doing shakara for.
If a girl is making shakara, let her go. Find the one that wants you. I agree with you on that point.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 12:32am On Dec 22, 2014
Only a fool would soften himself for a woman. You are a man, you're supposed to be concerned with how to make money and how to improve your physical appearance(weightlifting,etc.). Learn to be successful, don't meddle in all this love wantitin garbage. This is why most males are weak today. Haba.

6 Likes

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by lacedup(m): 12:33am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
Being a nice guy does not mean the guy is a P***y.

It is a myth girls do not like nice guys. When we are talking about a nice guy, I a talking about someone who respects and treats his lady with care.

*shrugs*...different strokes fer different folks bruv...i.jus gav ma two cents...

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:33am On Dec 22, 2014
lebesgue:


So where will one find a woman that is not like this?
The main thing is similarity. Find a nice girl. A true nice girl. Monitor her, if she changes dump her until you find your own.

I believe in a school of thought:

Stop chasing a woman that is chasing after another man. Chase a woman that is chasing you.

Most men think a lady coming after them is cheap and easy. They do not know it takes strength and courage for a woman to let her guard down and let a man know she loves him.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:36am On Dec 22, 2014
aim5:
Only a fool would soften himself for a woman. You are a man, you're supposed to be concerned with how to make money and how to improve your physical appearance(weightlifting,etc.). Learn to be successful, don't meddle in all this love wantitin garbage. This is why most males are weak today. Haba.
I disagree. They are many strong and successful rich men. Men with good physical appearance that their wives cheated on them because they lacked real romance.

Explain a rich and successful man who comes home and finds his beautiful wife in bed with his driver.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 12:38am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
I disagree. They are many strong and successful rich men. Men with good physical appearance that their wives cheated on them because they lacked real romance.

Explain a rich and successful man who comes home and finds his beautiful wife in bed with his driver.

Yes that's true, but the point is no man should weaken himself just to get a female. They aren't worth it.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Harmony10: 12:39am On Dec 22, 2014
Bimffo:
The reality is Ladies hate Nice guys..

I am not saying you should stop been nice, but if ur Nice level is on 80%, reduce it to 10% and see how it works..

Check out this moniker on Nairaland.. "CharlesNneji1" and get his books or E-books.. Mehn, it will help you alot.. You will be catching all those babes like Fish.. grin and they will swam around you like flies..

PS: Ladies will always be Ladies..

Oga I don't agree with your submission that ladies hate nice guys. It is one of the wrong assumptions/theories/beliefs around that make people (girls & guys) end up in bad relationships.

From my observations of the makeup/ form of ladies, they are designed to be led - to crave for an authority figure. No matter how tough a lady may seem, she can be led by a very simple, matured man. She will never feel strongly about you as a man if you can not handle situations - at least handle her with all her craziness. There are two basic way every man can lead any woman - through REAL LOVE or through BRUTAL FORCE. The problem is most men are not capable of REAL LOVE hence they resort to BRUTAL FORCE. But ladies are smart enough to know real Love from fake. So they prefer the tough, hard guy. But the tough, hard guy will never produce a good relationship with her. In the end, guy and the girl end up in a bad relationship.

My advice don't try to be good/nice, be good/nice - there's a whole lot of difference between the two. Secondly, ladies find it difficult to resist Real Love with all its variants - wisdoms, good words, focus and direction, respect 4 dem, independence most esp. MATURITY. LOVE is a lot more matured than FORCE. The problem is that men know how to employ FORCE than to use LOVE!!!

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 12:41am On Dec 22, 2014
aim5:


Yes that's true, but the point is no man should weaken himself just to get a female. They aren't worth it.
I am from the school of thought of being yourself to find the right person for you.

If someone weakens himself for a woman, he is no more himself and he will attract a woman that is not right for him.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by IDEApro(m): 12:41am On Dec 22, 2014
Youngtekkey:


Bad guy, see that's the thing oooo Bro, I have come to discover in recent times too that ladies hate Mr nice guys

Actually they don't hate them but disapprove of them nice guys initially. They dump the nice guys and follow the unpredictable ones but when they are used and dumped they go back to the nice guys begging.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by boluyongp(m): 12:46am On Dec 22, 2014
Let me help you bro.
Here are the golden rules in relating with women. I learned from experience and books.
From the rules, you will realise what you did wrong.

RULES
1. Be a bit cocky. Act like you don't give a damn. Act like you don't care and not bothered about things.
2. Don't tolerate any nasty behaviour or words. Tell her you don't tolerate such and its unacceptable. She might be testing you with bad behaviour to see if you can handle her. Women like men who show they are not carried away by their beauty. They feel safe if you can correct them. She might grumble and act bitchy in front of you but in her closet she ll be so happy she has found a real man.
3. Don't do favors for her. She might start with asking you to help hold her hand bag for a minute or two for instance. Humorously turn her down. Its a mugu test if she asks for favours initially. Don't fail it pls. Don't also buy gifts, to her, she feels you are trying to buy her or impress her then she may try acting harder to get (sometimes to collect more gifts)
4. Don't spend too much time with her. All the morning texts and calling all the time shows desperation to her. She'll run away. If a dog is chasing you, won't you run? So, quit chasing.
5. Give her her space. Don't choke her. Women are attracted to men they believe are busy and have a life. Stop fixing meetings all the time. Sometimes she wants to be alone or with her female friends. Let her miss you a little. Scarce resources have more value.
6. Be mysterious. Don't pick her calls or reply texts immediately sometimes. Keep her wondering, play on her jealousy instincts. Be unpredictable, women feed on drama. It also shows you are a busy person.
7. Never let her have her way. Take the lead. Be in charge at all times, don't chicken out or bulge to her manipulations. Be calm and surprise her by not exchanging words sometimes and arguing or getting angry. Show her she doesnt have control over your emotions no matter the nonsense she says or do. It shows her you'll be happy, with or without her. Be the boss and the mature one. She ll soon come running after you.

BONUS: If you are stuck in any situation, just ask yourself "What will James Bond do?". Dude, can you imagine James Bond arguing with a woman or acting lovey-dovey? Never!!! Cos he's the boss bro. Thats why women chase after him, they feel safe cos he's dominant and a real man. Even a guy will feel safe to be in the same car with Mr. Bond.. The ladies left you simply because they didn't feel safe emotionally with you (I'm sorry if I'm too blunt).

I hope this helps. All the best.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by preselect(m): 12:50am On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I won't deceive my self I'm a nice guy to the core
I'm the kind of guy that holds the door open for a lady
I call her by 6:45 to be the first to start her day. I don't shout at her , I'm a nice guy but I'm not a pushover
I don't take shiit (what I considered shit might vary from what others considered shit)
But I have perennial bad luck with women ,looks can be deceiving , I have the looks a player and also my startup lines and catch phrases are straight out of the players manual,I tried to be a player but it never worked out for me
Maybe it because I'm the only guy among 3 girls and mom ensured and still ensures that I treat all women like queens ,im yet to meet a lady that hasn't given me her her number and I'm very picky but I've only had 2 successes in all my dating attempts, admittedly I'm quite young (very early 20's) , but in all the ladies I've woed I've observed a pattern it goes like this

week 1 everything perfect, she calls I call , lovey dovey shi, love is in the air

week 2 I really have no idea what always happens

subsequently she hates me,absolutely detest me, she doesn't reply pings, see's me and ignores me embarassed embarassed I'm beginning to wonder if I have a problem because the pattern is getting very annoying
PS
I'm in an 'all guys uni (FUTO) and I'm in my early 20's with a young fac
please relationship experts advise needed
Only mature comments

Niaraland love experts
CC
Mizmycoli (Nairaland love expert )
Kachisbarbie ( pretty Lady analyst

2 "successes"? in other words. . . two women? . . . two things
1) if you ask me, you only need one "success" and hold on to it.
2) perhaps the women you are after are not nice women. you need a nice woman. nice women recognize nice men. but bad women, who also recognize nice men, tend to ignore nice men until they start loosing their beauty. then they rush the nice men while the nice women are still doing hard to get.

so chill, analyze and re-plan
good luck cool

by the way, where's is ify undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided chei, this girl don go follow another man again. . .
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by marvmurphy(m): 12:55am On Dec 22, 2014
rittyben:
The same reasons why good girls r always treated badly
why do say that?
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 1:16am On Dec 22, 2014
GO MAKE MONEY.
YOU NEED NOT WORRY ABOUT WOMEN NOW.
I FEEL YOU ARE ALL OVER THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIVES IN THE NAME OF "MR NICE GUY".

WOMEN LIKES A GUY THAT IS IN CONTROL AND YOU DO NOT STRIKE ME AS THAT KINDA PERSON.... IF YOU CANNOT CONTROL THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE, THEN YOU NEED TO WORK HARD AND LET YOUR SUCESS CONTROL THEM FOR YOU!

1 Like

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