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Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? - Romance (6) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? (32845 Views)

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Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by yorex2011: 9:19am On Dec 22, 2014
Girls are a confused lot jor... Many sha. Not all
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 9:42am On Dec 22, 2014
delishpot:
Which clearly contradicts what you said at first. You said both player and good boy get dumped equaly and I said no. That players tend to get ladies/ guys who latch unto them and want to make things work out while the good ones are heart broken easily by a bad partner( player) who doesnt give a rats arse about them. Which we have all withnessed at one point in time. Players hardly ever get dumped good ones are easily dumped or used.
It does not contradict anything. Look at your words.

The playa hardly gets dumped because he lacks emotional connection. If she wants to go, he does not care. He has others. So it looks like he never gets dumped.

Have you not seen ladies fighting ton get a nice/good guy back? That is the latching on to a playa but due to the long emotional attachment, it seems only the good thus get dumped and only the bad guys have ladies fighting over them.

If a girl hates good guy, why cry when they lose a genuine good guy.

As I said, it is a myth. The playa is emotionally shielded because or his lack of devotion. The good guy is in so long until she shows another side of her.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by delishpot: 10:11am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
It does not contradict anything. Look at your words.

The playa hardly gets dumped because he lacks emotional connection. If she wants to go, he does not care. He has others. So it looks like he never gets dumped.

Have you not seen ladies fighting ton get a nice/good guy back? That is the latching on to a playa but due to the long emotional attachment, it seems only the good thus get dumped and only the bad guys have ladies fighting over them.

If a girl hates good guy, why cry when they lose a genuine good guy.

As I said, it is a myth. The playa is emotionally shielded because or his lack of devotion. The good guy is in so long until she shows another side of her.
Player hardly gets dumped cos he has a way of pickibg the good girls not because he picks girls that always dump him and he moves on.
On the other hand, the good boy always lands the crazy girl. The female version of a playboy. Thus the way I see it, opposites attract not that players and good boys get same class of women.
A player hardly leaves time for anyone to dump them even. So I dont believe that a player gets dumped frequently. A player dumps before the victim realizes it.
Yes players get dumped(once in a blue moon) and he is quick(pretend) to move on, but by the time 1 woman dumps a player, 10 have dumped the good boy. Its not about emmotional response here, its about tge frequency at which one gets dumped compared to tge other.
So yes, when a player is dumped he moves( or at least seems to) move on without much hassle while a good boy finds it hard to reconcile his loss with facts. But, that is by the way side. We are talking about tge frequency at which a good boy is dumped (regardless of hiw he reacts to it) versus how frequently a player is dumped.
And yes, you are right why cry over a person in his/ her right sense who has on purpose thrown away good food and settle for rotten apple?
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by thegoodjoehunt3(m): 10:21am On Dec 22, 2014
delishpot:
Player hardly gets dumped cos he has a way of pickibg the good girls not because he picks girls that always dump him and he moves on.
On the other hand, the good boy always lands the crazy girl. The female version of a playboy. Thus the way I see it, opposites attract not that players and good boys get same class of women.
A player hardly leaves time for anyone to dump them even. So I dont believe that a player gets dumped frequently. A player dumps before the victim realizes it.
Yes players get dumped(once in a blue moon) and he is quick(pretend) to move on, but by the time 1 woman dumps a player, 10 have dumped the good boy. Its not about emmotional response here, its about tge frequency at which one gets dumped compared to tge other.
So yes, when a player is dumped he moves( or at least seems to) move on without much hassle while a good boy finds it hard to reconcile his loss with facts. But, that is by the way side. We are talking about tge frequency at which a good boy is dumped (regardless of hiw he reacts to it) versus how frequently a player is dumped.
And yes, you are right why cry over a person in his/ her right sense who has on purpose thrown away good food and settle for rotten apple?
You are wrong here. Go and check on the records of good guys. They go, there is this girl I love so much who dumped me. It is not series of women but a devotion to a woman they love and want to make it work. So the report of 10 girls dumping is not true.

On the other hands, playas get dumped regularly but they are sleeping with another girl to realise they have been dumped. Even as he is with his present girl, he is planning to hit another. So if the present one leaves, he does not care.

So the good guy is dumped less. Even when the girl dumps him, she wants him back when she realises her mistake.

So the good girl loves bad guys is a myth.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by delishpot: 10:25am On Dec 22, 2014
thegoodjoehunt3:
You are wrong here. Go and check on the records of good guys. They go, there is this girl I love so much who dumped me. It is not series of women but a devotion to a woman they love and want to make it work. So the report of 10 girls dumping is not true.

On the other hands, playas get dumped regularly but they are sleeping with another girl to realise they have been dumped. Even as he is with his present girl, he is planning to hit another. Son if the present one leaves, he does not care.

So the good guy is dumped less. Even when the girl dumps him, she wants him back when she realises her mistake.

So the good girl loves bad guys is a myth.
Hmnnn, you have some points there.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by toreoluwa(f): 10:31am On Dec 22, 2014
to me oh,,to me personally oh,i dnt really fink deres sumtin wrong wit u,u're cool,oky,,, jez dat we ladies dont lik to hear the truth,,,, we lov to listern to lies,,,,.we prefer guys dat gives us challenges.after all "all guys 're d same".i guess dat aw motto....be ursef be reall ...am vry sure one day a lady dat will luv u for whu u're will surely comes ur way...waitin for dem comment oh
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Chuksteric(m): 10:33am On Dec 22, 2014
hahaha.... bro try nekede or imsu girls. distance helps alot and futo girls feel important even the ugliest of them.... hope this helps
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Chuksteric(m): 10:37am On Dec 22, 2014
Kingscee:
Check your Peniis size and call me later
jeeezzzzz!!!!!
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by youngice(op): 10:54am On Dec 22, 2014
Chuksteric:
hahaha.... bro try nekede or imsu girls. distance helps alot and futo girls feel important even the ugliest of them.... hope this helps
I don roam owerri like mad man
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Chuksteric(m): 10:56am On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I don roam owerri like mad man
keep calm and wait till you find the right person
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by PerfectlyPerfect(m): 11:09am On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
[i]I won't deceive my self I'm a nice guy to the core
I'm the kind of guy that holds the door open for a lady
I call her by 6:45 to be the first to start her day. I don't shout at her , I'm a nice guy but I'm not a pushover
I don't take shiit (what I considered shit might vary from what others considered shit)
But I have perennial bad luck with women ,looks can be deceiving , I have the looks a player and also my startup lines and catch phrases are straight out of the players manual,I tried to be a player but it never worked out for me
Maybe it because I'm the only guy among 3 girls and mom ensured and still ensures that I treat all women like queens ,im yet to meet a lady that hasn't given me her her number and I'm very picky but I've only had 2 successes in all my dating attempts, admittedly I'm quite young (very early 20's) , but in all the ladies I've woed I've observed a pattern it goes like this


I'm in an 'all guys uni (FUTO) and I'm in my early 20's with a young fac
@OP, i graduated from FUTO dis year so i can quite undestand what you are going through. i would advise you to shun FUTO chics. you can straff them but no relationship. they usually form tushed but most of them are broke-asses and will try to suck you dry. Go to IMSU if you want tushed babes, though you'll need cash and they rili like futoites. my current babe is an Imostar. Poly Nekede babes are the easiest to get but i don't usually roll with them because they're usually not tushed and they might end up moving into your lodge. i don't know about imo poly and Alvan babes. Another thing, no matter how much of a nice guy you are, always have a lil bit of a bad boy attitude, dress well and know when to tell a babe to shut up if she starts nagging.
wish U luck
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 11:10am On Dec 22, 2014
GeneralShepherd:
Never listen to a woman's advice on women!
grin grin
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by ideology(m): 11:15am On Dec 22, 2014
Hmmmm …
If I should comment

One of the things men are yet to learn is to have a focus in life they really wanna be successful.
How many people who are successful in life started out with chasing ladies and stopping any woman they see on the road.

Until some men stop chasing ladies or stopping ladies because she looks good or beautiful; until then … complains will keep rising. Don't forget that there are many beautiful women infact as it is written the beautiful ones are not yet born. Will you keep chasing every lady you see.


Men; define your life, have a focus, who would you love to have as a wife, where are you seeing yourself in the next 5, 10, 25 years??

if we all learn these lessons, you won't stop just any girl on the road, mall, cinema. Etc.

Be yourself!!

being nice can be natural, but I don't think being nice includes opening doors, drinking garri and buying her Brazilian hair, and some other things I hear some guys do.
our love propels us to give, our time, money and energy to ensure the lady is happy. That doesn't mean turn to a fool.

Most times we complain of ladies but We are the ones making them believe that is the right way.
Making it worst, the elderly men.

As a man be friendly with everyone of them, have limits and respect yourself. Help anyone that comes your way as much as you can but Don't get fooled.
Love and develop yourself and ensure that you are happy.
There is time for everything.…
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Princecharmin(m): 12:11pm On Dec 22, 2014
doskie:
your elder brother
and your sisters husband.
Lolzzzz..... shocked
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by youngice(op): 12:15pm On Dec 22, 2014
ideology:
Hmmmm …
If I should comment

One of the things men are yet to learn is to have a focus in life they really wanna be successful.
How many people who are successful in life started out with chasing ladies and stopping any woman they see on the road.

Until some men stop chasing ladies or stopping ladies because she looks good or beautiful; until then … complains will keep rising. Don't forget that there are many beautiful women infact as it is written the beautiful ones are not yet born. Will you keep chasing every lady you see.


Men; define your life, have a focus, who would you love to have as a wife, where are you seeing yourself in the next 5, 10, 25 years??

if we all learn these lessons, you won't stop just any girl on the road, mall, cinema. Etc.

Be yourself!!

being nice can be natural, but I don't think being nice includes opening doors, drinking garri and buying her Brazilian hair, and some other things I hear some guys do.
our love propels us to give, our time, money and energy to ensure the lady is happy. That doesn't mean turn to a fool.

Most times we complain of ladies but We are the ones making them believe that is the right way.
Making it worst, the elderly men.

As a man be friendly with everyone of them, have limits and respect yourself. Help anyone that comes your way as much as you can but Don't get fooled.
Love and develop yourself and ensure that you are happy.
There is time for everything.…
I said nice not mugulicious
And yes I have a vision and I have a plan for my life in the next 15 but is it when I'm where I'm want to be I will start looking for q wife under duress
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by ekpurikpu77: 12:20pm On Dec 22, 2014
Hey bro,just remember this rule and stick to it,when you chase a babe hotly,play the coquette and give space to be chased back or else it will be a one way traffick which is not healthy. If you are the only one chasing,you'll end up chasing the babe away.Give space let her chase you back! grin
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 12:27pm On Dec 22, 2014
I'm not nice,I treat women very bad and they can't stop running after me. I guess that's what they like.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by tabisegroup(m): 12:44pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
its the other way round , she begins to hate me,
I, Distinguished member of NL & Respectable NiceGuy.. hereby second d motion !
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by tabisegroup(m): 12:46pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
its the other way round , she begins to hate me,
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by ideology(m): 12:55pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I said nice not mugulicious
And yes I have a vision and I have a plan for my life in the next 15 but is it when I'm where I'm want to be I will start looking for q wife under duress
Looking for wife doesn't entail stopping any lady you see thinking she's the right one.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by InwehAkpevwe(m): 12:55pm On Dec 22, 2014
MizMyColi:
No Hun, Nooo sad

You shouldn't pretend. You shouldn't.

I've been in your shoes too, and that's why I can relate with how it feels for you.

Our world as we know it is so used to people having manipulative tendencies, having a motive for being nice and just plain wickedness. So it beats the imagination of most people when a person is so nice.....without any string attached really. They'd label you a hypocrite.

But then, I understand that in this world.....there are certain kinds of people who are just that way. They are models of love. Burn them all you want, use them all you want......even if they decide to stop being nice (like they can anyway)......there's this feeling of discontent, this feeling of emptiness that they feel. The reason's simple --- they don't know how to be any less. cheesy cheesy

I take it you're in that category. I am too. But one problem I've had to and I'm still learning to overcome is that of insecurity. I think you should work on that too.

You need to embrace yourself fully......your gifts. It's not a cross, it's not a burden. You need to let your value for self and your worth emanate from within.

Finally, you need to guard your heart. You need to apply wisdom. Y'see, because loving's a default setting in you, you're prone to love and become attached to just about anything lovable and attachable, here's where you need to apply restraint and caution.

It's not a bad thing to think and fall in love carefully.

It's not a bad thing to be self aware and do your best to protect your heart from people who aren't worth it.

Ladies, at times can be mean .... I for one, even though I like to be shown affection and attention ..... I prefer when it's done in moderation. I expect my partner to be sensitive enough to know when it's time to just let things be --- and vice versa.

You just keep living and keep learning. With the right guidance and actions, I'm sure there'll be this lady who shares your values and loves just as much as you do, she might be on NL for all we know!! tongue tongue

cheesy I kid! I kid!
All the best wink
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by youngice(op): 12:57pm On Dec 22, 2014
ideology:
Looking for wife doesn't entail stopping any lady you see thinking she's the right one.
I'm picky I don't stop just any lady
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by ideology(m): 1:04pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I'm picky I don't stop just any lady
Being picky is not the solution.
Being picky doesn't guarantee that you are picking the right one.

From what I observe, you are not ready. Just focus on being friendly with people you meet.
When the time is right, things will fall into place.

If you continue this way, ladies will still messing you up and you will think you have a problem.

Ladies are complex but simple if you are wise.
99% Don't know what they really want.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by georgesylva(m): 1:53pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I won't deceive my self I'm a nice guy to the core
I'm the kind of guy that holds the door open for a lady
I call her by 6:45 to be the first to start her day. I don't shout at her , I'm a nice guy but I'm not a pushover
I don't take shiit (what I considered shit might vary from what others considered shit)
But I have perennial bad luck with women ,looks can be deceiving , I have the looks a player and also my startup lines and catch phrases are straight out of the players manual,I tried to be a player but it never worked out for me
Maybe it because I'm the only guy among 3 girls and mom ensured and still ensures that I treat all women like queens ,im yet to meet a lady that hasn't given me her her number and I'm very picky but I've only had 2 successes in all my dating attempts, admittedly I'm quite young (very early 20's) , but in all the ladies I've woed I've observed a pattern it goes like this

week 1 everything perfect, she calls I call , lovey dovey shi, love is in the air

week 2 I really have no idea what always happens

subsequently she hates me,absolutely detest me, she doesn't reply pings, see's me and ignores me embarassed embarassed I'm beginning to wonder if I have a problem because the pattern is getting very annoying
PS
I'm in an 'all guys uni (FUTO) and I'm in my early 20's with a young fac
please relationship experts advise needed
Only mature comments

Niaraland love experts
CC
Mizmycoli (Nairaland love expert )
Kachisbarbie ( pretty Lady analyst
Dude learn this very difficult thing which is going for the girls who are obviously interested in u no matter how odd they are. If only u can see beyond what ur eyes sees, then u might be blessed to see their true beauty. I wrote this cos u wrote that u r very picky.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by georgesylva(m): 1:54pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I won't deceive my self I'm a nice guy to the core
I'm the kind of guy that holds the door open for a lady
I call her by 6:45 to be the first to start her day. I don't shout at her , I'm a nice guy but I'm not a pushover
I don't take shiit (what I considered shit might vary from what others considered shit)
But I have perennial bad luck with women ,looks can be deceiving , I have the looks a player and also my startup lines and catch phrases are straight out of the players manual,I tried to be a player but it never worked out for me
Maybe it because I'm the only guy among 3 girls and mom ensured and still ensures that I treat all women like queens ,im yet to meet a lady that hasn't given me her her number and I'm very picky but I've only had 2 successes in all my dating attempts, admittedly I'm quite young (very early 20's) , but in all the ladies I've woed I've observed a pattern it goes like this

week 1 everything perfect, she calls I call , lovey dovey shi, love is in the air

week 2 I really have no idea what always happens

subsequently she hates me,absolutely detest me, she doesn't reply pings, see's me and ignores me embarassed embarassed I'm beginning to wonder if I have a problem because the pattern is getting very annoying
PS
I'm in an 'all guys uni (FUTO) and I'm in my early 20's with a young fac
please relationship experts advise needed
Only mature comments

Niaraland love experts
CC
Mizmycoli (Nairaland love expert )
Kachisbarbie ( pretty Lady analyst
Dude learn this very difficult thing. Going for the girls who are obviously interested in them no matter how odd they are. If only u can see beyond what ur eyes sees, then u might be blessed to see their true beauty. I wrote this cos u wrote that u r very picky.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by ajisjaybay: 1:55pm On Dec 22, 2014
futo boys not always lucky with women go and bath at ota miri the badluck will leave u
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Jsolomex(m): 2:19pm On Dec 22, 2014
Love is a circle.. A nice guy meets a bad girl. the bad girl broke the heart of the nice guy makin him convert to a bad guy, which is same position you are about becomin.. So adventurely the nice guy turns a bad guy, den meets a nice girl ( which he thinks is a bad girl ) he den took revenge( thinking am now d ladies man )... Making the nice girl turn bad... So it goes on an on.. Its a circle, but sometimes being the real you ( mr nice ) you are goin go through some challenges.. Buh you jst have to kip pushing.. Until u meet d one.. And mind you dia is no d one.. Jst kip ur love rate 80% percent to yourself, display 20% to the girl and you are good to go
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by chubbypearl(f): 2:31pm On Dec 22, 2014
(1)BE REAL!!!You cant be all that nice,nobody can be all that nice!(2)Am very sure that there is someone "tripping"for you but you have "friendzoned" her because you are picky!(3)Don't try to turn her to the girl of your dreams,just because you nicely say or do things doesnt mean she should accept it.
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Nobody: 2:50pm On Dec 22, 2014
youngice:
I semi dated a bch babe she for roughly 2 yrs
SEEET wet I dey no get love
yeah, SEET na for men , lol
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by WUMBOS(f): 4:01pm On Dec 22, 2014
my advice for u as a gal is dat u need to check the manner in which u talk,chat nd relate wif those gals................some gals dont talk too much while some do,some gals want u 2 be d 1st nd last person dey will talk too while some dont even want u to disturb dem...............................i know all u need to do is 2 understand which category ur gal fall in2
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by princeogbeide1(m): 4:30pm On Dec 22, 2014
The actual base of truth is that; some girls are dumb to love and care because of their experiences with other guys. we hv to know that a gal of 20+ must have had a test of a relationship. no two ways about it, u don't have to foster extreme care and u don't have to express full time charisma @ the peak of the relationship because some babes are quite soul-sensitve. Being optimistic may not last their latent impressions...
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by Dinakas(f): 4:48pm On Dec 22, 2014
Personally, I think the best way to handle your relationship trouble is to be yourself, just natural. The right girl will come your way. And when she comes, pls cut down on the too much care. Let it be moderate.

If you are too caring, it becomes boring and kinda annoying and she could take you for granted. That doesn't mean u should not show some affection. I hope you do understand what I mean by "moderate".

Also, know the kind of person she is so you guys can flow perfectly. And pls, you will NEVER see a perfect girl, none has fallen from heaven. Relationship just helps us view each other in various ways and to help support and love each other

One more thing, if really you have a problem, pls do check yourself well and see where you go wrong.
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